cluebucket + 2013 + coping   1

My Nice Boyfriend Makes Me Crazy
it's not my problem, but it's a lot of worthwhile words about self-examination and open communication in relationships. helpful for that.

"Lots of people, LOTS AND LOTS OF FUCKING PEOPLE, really, truly don't want to connect. They just want to do what they do without being challenged or being forced to show up. They want to talk about the easy stuff, keep it light, ignore the trouble, keep the peace, don't look too hard at anything, and don't get too honest. There's another tier, above that: The people who want intimacy, but only on THEIR terms. They want access to an open person, sure, so they can turn that person on and off, like a faucet. Great when they happen to want you, not so great when you need something from them and they can't handle being needed.

"But there are a few people who can show up. If they see that you want them to show up, they can show up. If you're present, they will find a way to be present, too. I think that's what you have in this man, even if you aren't quite there yet yourself."
heather_havrilesky  ask_polly  advice  relationship  devotion  neediness  insecurity  communication  dating  vulnerability  transparency  emotion  abuse  coping  life  connection  2013  2010s  writing  tip 
december 2013 by cluebucket

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