chellexxx + guilty!sam   239

Keep This Secret
Sam and Dean travel to the fairy realm hoping to make a deal to get Adam released from the Cage. The price: their shared secret.
SPN  SPN!Non-AU  Slash  Angst  archiveofourown  20000+  Long  Fae/Fairies  Deal  Character-Adam!Milligan  PTSD  Emotionally!hurt  hurt!OC  pining!Sam  Dream/Nightmare  Hell  Season!8  813  Alternate!Universe  Big!Bang  guilty!Sam  First!Time 
june 2019 by chellexxx
Late Season 7, post "The Borne Again Identity." Sam always knew his past would come back to haunt him but he never thought it would happen like this.
SPN  SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Season!7  Hunter  Angst  Abducted  Abducted!Sam  kick!ass!Dean  Hurt/Sick!Boys  hurt!Sam  Character-Bobby!Singer  Ghost  Hospitalized!Boys  Short  5000+  717  guilty!Sam  Confession  Character-Crowley 
july 2017 by chellexxx
The Music of the Soul
Sam has arrived back from Hell, the only problem is he's returned without his soul. Before Cas realizes that something is horribly wrong with his friend Sam acts on his long-held feelings for the angel, damaging the trust between them, possibly beyond repair.
When Sam’s soul is returned he has no memory of what has happened between them. What he discovers about his time without a soul is shocking, and he struggles to earn Cas’s forgiveness, and to forgive himself.

SPN  post!Season!5  Slash  SPN!Non-AU  Sam/Castiel  First!Time  Angst  Character-Castiel  Resouled  guilty!Sam  Character-Lucifer  Character-Bobby!Singer  Character-Balthazar  archiveofourown  25000+  Long  Character-Crowley  Character-Raphael  Wing!fic  pining!Sam  Hurt/Sick!Boys  hurt!Sam 
april 2017 by chellexxx
When Sam gets a call from Jody saying that Claire has taken
off, all he wants to do is help keep Claire out of trouble. If she
absolutely has to hunt, she should do so safely and with the right
information, right? Castiel takes a dim view of proceedings,
misunderstandings abound, and soon Sam finds himself hunting alone.
Maybe all isn't lost, though. Maybe the presence of a bluntly spoken
teenager is what Sam and Castiel need to break through the missteps and
get to a point that's good for both of them. ..... 32,417
SPN!Non-AU  Slash  Sam/Castiel  First!Time  Separated!Boys  Alone/Separated  hurt!Sam  Angst  Motel/Hotel  Hunt  Solo!Hunt  Under!the!Influence  Bottom!Sam  Case!fic  Leg!broken/injured  1st!meeting  teacher!Sam  asshole!Dean  guilty!Sam  Season!11  25000+  Long  livejournal  archiveofourown  Teacher  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Castiel  Character-Claire!Novak  Character-Rowena  AU!Season!11 
december 2015 by chellexxx
Sam is injured on a hunt and refused to let his big brother
take care of him. Dean is stunned at the reason for his brother's
peculiar behaviour and must convince Sam to accept his help.
Hurt/Frightened/Sam and Worried/Protective/Dean. .... 5,300
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Season!4  AU!Season!4  post!Season!4  Angst  Confession  hurt!Sam  hurt!Dean  Demon!Blood  5000+  Short  guilty!Sam  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
october 2015 by chellexxx
Waiting for Rain
Sam leaves home at sixteen to escape two things: a growing
attraction to his older brother, and an angry and abusive father who
blames him for his mother's death. With nothing to his name save his
experience hunting and his determination to escape it, he turns to
prostitution to support himself through high school and then college.
This is an AU without the yellow-eyed demon and psychic powers bit. Lots
of hurt, but lots of comfort and eventual Wincest. .. 31,107
SPN!Non-AU  Slash  Pre-Series  AU!Pre-Series  Stanford  Sam/Dean  First!Time  Angst  Prostitution/Hustling  Hooker!Sam  Abused!Sam  Abusive!John  asshole!John  guilty!Sam  hurt!Sam  Emotionally!hurt  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  kick!ass!Dean  kick!ass!Sam  25000+  Long  archiveofourown  AU!Stanford  Depraved!Humans  Abused  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Domestic!Violence  Character-Bobby!Singer  Character-Gabriel/The!Tickster  Character-John!Winchester  Character-Crowley  Character-Ash 
september 2015 by chellexxx
What Immortal Hand or Eye
Sam wants nothing to do with Lucifer or his games. He's too
busy trying to earn back his brother's trust, get clean and save the
world. Lucifer isn't backing off - he's hell bent on proving to Sam
that, despite first impressions, he's not the Devil he thinks he knows.
As Sam struggles to hold his world together and dodge the forces of
heaven and hell, Lucifer uses every method of temptation in his arsenal
to get him to want to say yes. Sam’s unquenchable curiosity is proving
to be his weakness. It would be much easier to shut Lucifer out if he
wasn’t so fascinated by all of the heavenly secrets he willingly
reveals. The more he learns about their bond as host and vessel, and the
more he feels its effects, the harder it is to pull away. Add in pagan
rituals, the wrath of a vengeful goddess, and a certain devious
trickster and things might just get out of hand. ... 27,413
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Season!5  AU!Season!5  Addiction  Addict!Sam  Dub-Con  Abducted  Big!Bang  Bonding  guilty!Sam  25000+  Long  archiveofourown  Amulet  Voicemail  Angst  516  518  Dream/Nightmare  514  Memories/Flashback  Demon!Blood  SPN  Character-Bobby!Singer  Character-Adam!Milligan  Character-Castiel  Character-Gabriel/The!Tickster  Character-Lucifer 
september 2015 by chellexxx
Kill Your Heroes
John Winchester crawled out of the Pit when the Devil's Gate
opened, helped to take Azazel down and then there was nothing. Six years
later he comes back to himself in a basement room facing down a virtual
stranger with an agenda of his own. When he learns what's going on and
about the Mark of Cain, can he figure out the game his younger son is
playing before it's too late? ... 11,871
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Resurrected!John  Season!9  AU!Season!9  Bat!Cave  Amulet  Demon  Death!fic  Angst  asshole!Dean  10000+  Short  archiveofourown  Outsider!POV  POV!John  guilty!Sam  asshole!John  SPN  Character-Death  Character-Castiel  Character-John!Winchester  Character-Crowley  Character-Kevin!Tran 
june 2015 by chellexxx
All The King's Horses
When Sam is unable to restrain Demon!Dean to cure him on his
own, he tracks down Gabriel and makes him an offer that makes even an
archangel blanch. Instead of giving Sam what he wants, the Trickster
enlists the help of Castiel and Flagstaff to help both brothers remember
that it was their love story that saved the world once... by sending
them on a quest through Sam's mind. ..... 15,894
Dream!Walking  guilty!Sam  guilty!Dean  Long  15000+  archiveofourown  Memories/Flashback  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  Emotionally!hurt  Demon!Dean  Spell/Curse  Dream/Nightmare  Angel  Angst  Season!10  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Gabriel!Lives  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Castiel  Character-Gabriel/The!Tickster  Character-Flagstaff 
march 2015 by chellexxx
The Change
Sam, Cas, and Dean bring Benny back from Purgatory when Dean
seems to need his "brother" after coming back from demonhood. In an
attempt to bridge the gap between him and Sam, Benny discovers some
things about Sam and the relationship between Sam and Dean that he
doesn't like much, and goes out of his way to get the brothers on the
path of rebuilding their relationship. ...... 10,000
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Season!9  AU!Season!9  asshole!Dean  Emotionally!hurt  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  guilty!Sam  guilty!Dean  Abusive!Dean  Separated!Boys  Domestic!fic  Bat!Cave  archiveofourown  Short  10000+  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Castiel  Character-Benny!Lafitte 
february 2015 by chellexxx
Back to December
Sam, knowing he started the end of the world, would give
anything to turn back the clock again. He'd give anything to go back to
when Dean died and do things over. Because Loki had only been trying to
help him. He'd come back to bring him sanity but Sam had made the wrong
call, picking revenge over peace. He chose wrong. Why did he always
choose wrong? .... Sam starts a tentative relationship of casual sex
with the trickster after Loki tells him he's alive. It continues longer
than Sam ever thought it would and it develops in an unexpected way. But
when it develops past casual and into the emotional Sam tries to stop.
But love isn't exactly something you can just quit. ....... When Dean
dies, Loki tries to help Sam move on, getting even closer to the hunter.
But Sam can't just forget about his brother. He never can just let go.
.... 39,076
SPN!Non-AU  Slash  Season!1  Season!2  Season!3  Season!4  Season!5  AU!Season!5  AU!Season!1  AU!Season!3  AU!Season!4  AU!Season!2  503  Sam/Gabriel  Bottom!Sam  guilty!Sam  First!Time  pining!Sam  35000+  Long  archiveofourown  Dog/Puppy  Mystery!Spot  Deal  Friends!With!Benefits  drunk!Sam  Domestic!fic  Living!Together  Addiction  Addict!Sam  Angst  Secret  Sad  Demon!Blood  pining!Gabriel  SPN  All!Hell!Breaks!Loose  Character-Ruby 
december 2014 by chellexxx
A Single Man Tear
A tag to the 200th episode, Fan Fiction, in which the boys talk
about their feelings because we know they only really do that in fan
fiction. .... 1,435
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Season!10  1005  Bat!Cave  guilty!Dean  guilty!Sam  Amulet  1000+  Short  Confession  SPN  Fix-It-Fic 
november 2014 by chellexxx
Pick me up
Sam is drinking and trying to forget. Dean will never stop being a big brother. drunk!Sam, sick!Sam ... 2,918
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Season!10  1003  guilty!Sam  Angst  sick!Sam  Hug  drunk!Sam  1000+  Short  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
november 2014 by chellexxx
We're Marching On
Drunk Sam, Pie eating Dean and, yeah, some angsty broments. .... 2,258
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Season!10  1003  guilty!Dean  guilty!Sam  Domestic!fic  Missing!Scene  Angst  1000+  Short  SPN 
november 2014 by chellexxx
Welcome Back
What might've happened between Dean waking up and the next
scene as Dean's guilt & emotions react to the cure in an unexpected
manner & Sam's unable to do anything but hope.
*Hurt/limp/tired/angsty/guilty!Dean & Worried/protective/upset!Sam*
........... 4,002
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Season!10  1003  sick!Dean  guilty!Sam  Emotionally!hurt  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  Emotionally!hurt!Dean  Missing!Scene  Bat!Cave  1000+  Short  Angst  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Castiel 
october 2014 by chellexxx
And a Hard Place
As soon as they were inside their room, Dean made a line for
the closet and slammed the door, and Sam wasn't even surprised, this has
been happening for years. He can't account for the why, but he gets
that Dean needs it, so he doesn't say all the things he wants to. ....
SPN!Non-AU  Sam/Dean  First!Time  Trapped  PTSD  Emotionally!hurt!Dean  Emotionally!hurt  guilty!Sam  Angst  pining!Sam  Motel/Hotel  Sad  Short  1000+  livejournal  Pre-Slash  Slash  Memories/Flashback  Season!Undefined  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
august 2014 by chellexxx
The Art of Balance
Dean 21, Sam 16. Sam is given a writing assignment in English
class which leads him to make unsettling discoveries about his family.
... 64,117
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Pre-Series  !School  hurt!Dean  guilty!Sam  guilty!John  Angst  Car!Accident  50000+  Long  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-John!Winchester 
july 2014 by chellexxx
Soulless to Remember
After finding Sam hurt & in trouble, Dean deals with the
threat only to find that it's brought back nightmares for Sam that
neither Winchester wanted to face again. *Hurt/confused/guilty!Sam &
Angry/concerned/Big brother!Dean* SPOILERS for 09x17 Mother's Helper.
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Season!9  917  hurt!Sam  Angst  guilty!Sam  5000+  Short  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
may 2014 by chellexxx
Special Place
Sam has a relatively close call and realizes how things would be left between him and Dean if he were to die. 3,821
SPN!Non-AU  Season!9  Gen  913  914  guilty!Sam  hurt!Sam  Bar  Hug  Angst  1000+  Short  Separated!Boys  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
may 2014 by chellexxx
The Lucifer Problem
Dean and Sam try to make it work, but after Heaven, it becomes
clear to Dean that it would be best to separate. Sam decides to let Dean
stop the apocalypse, while Sam takes on the Lucifer problem. After all,
if Lucifer doesn't have a true vessel to take, he'll be that much
easier to defeat. Sam goes off the grid, and not even Castiel can find
him. Pairings: Sastiel .... 23,965 Companion fic .. ....
SPN!Non-AU  Slash  Sam/Castiel  First!Time  Season!5  516  Angst  AU!Season!5  Self!Harm  Dream/Nightmare  hurt!Sam  Emotionally!hurt  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  guilty!Dean  guilty!Sam  Powers!Sam  20000+  Long  pdf/mobi  Separated!Boys  archiveofourown  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Bobby!Singer  Character-Castiel  Character-Gabriel/The!Tickster  Character-Lucifer  Dream!Walking 
may 2014 by chellexxx
If It's The Last Thing I Do
Sam had broken the world, and his relationship with his
brother. Dean was angry and took it out on his little brother. What
would it take for them to be back to where they were? Hurt!Sam
Angry/Guilty!Dean Set season 5. .... 4,407
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Season!5  hurt!Sam  guilty!Dean  asshole!Dean  Angst  Emotionally!hurt  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  1000+  Short  Hunt  Torture  guilty!Sam  Demon!Blood  Bloodloss  Demon  Hospitalized!Boys  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
april 2014 by chellexxx
A Moment of Truth
Set in Season 3.Sam is convinced that he doesn't deserve to
live, that it was his fault that his father, mother & Jess died. And
now, Dean's time is also ticking away as his deadline approaches.
Depressed & disheartened, Sam is broken, convinced that he should be
dead when someone comes and tells, or rather, shows him otherwise.
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Season!3  guilty!Sam  Depression  Emotionally!hurt  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  Angst  Short  5000+  Alternate!Universe  Sam/Jess  Het  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-John!Winchester  Character-Mary!Winchester  Character-Jessica 
april 2014 by chellexxx
Bad Moon Rising
John died instantly in the car accident in Devil's Trap,
leaving Sam with survivor's guilt and a fear of driving. Several months
later, Meg's taunts about Dean's feelings for Sam hit close too home.
The boys reach some conclusions of their own about incest, but in
Burbank, Oklahoma, Dean vanishes in the dead of night, and Sam's
attempts to find him yield only a nest of demons. The next day, Sam
finds Dean at the hospital, alive and well, if oddly distant. Whatever's
up with Dean will have to wait, though; something in the hospital is
nastily killing patients one by one, and that's nothing to Yellow-Eyed
Demon's budding plans for Sam. 75,033
SPN!Non-AU  Season!2  AU!Season!2  OMC  archiveofourown  First!Time  Angst  guilty!Sam  Big!Bang  75000+  Epic  Slash  Sam/Dean  SPN  In!My!Time!of!Dying  Character-John!Winchester  Character-Meg  Character-Yellow!Eyed!Demon 
april 2014 by chellexxx
Scar Tissue
Coda/fixit to s09e17 Mother's Little Helper. The tension in the
bunker has to break at some point. Language and mentions of canon
violence. 1,414
SPN!Non-AU  Season!9  917  hurt!Sam  guilty!Dean  guilty!Sam  Angst  Bat!Cave  Short  1000+  Memories/Flashback  Possessed!Sam  Gen  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Born!Under!a!Bad!Sign 
april 2014 by chellexxx
Shattered Dreams
When Dean's nightmares become too much for Sam to handle, he steps in to make everything all right again. WINCEST! 1,073
SPN!Non-AU  Slash  Sam/Dean  Previous!Relationship  First!Time  Dream/Nightmare  guilty!Sam  Season!9  Angst  1000+  910  Bat!Cave  Short  SPN  Character-Castiel 
april 2014 by chellexxx
Tag to 5x14 "My Bloody Valentine". Sam wakes up after his
second detox, and Dean is avoiding discussing the elephant in the room.
Then again, maybe Sam misjudged the situation. (Not a slash fiction.)
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Season!5  514  Panic!Room  Angst  guilty!Dean  guilty!Sam  1000+  Short  Addiction  Addict!Sam  SPN 
march 2014 by chellexxx
Indian Giver
He saw the black cord sticking out of his brothers pocket and
there was something so familiar about it that Sam just couldn't place.
Reverse amulet fic, set post 9.15. 1,497
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Season!9  915  Angst  guilty!Sam  Amulet  1000+  Short  Confession  SPN  Fix-It-Fic 
march 2014 by chellexxx
And In The Middle Stood A Tree
When Dean Winchester, the chosen, righteous man, twice son of
Eve, and vessel of God’s most powerful archangel with phoenix ash in his
blood, falls into Purgatory, his unusual assets, skills, and the
abilities he develops inside the realm help him survive in an
inhospitable environment that hosts many foes. Meanwhile, with the
support of the eclectic group of allies that has rallied around him, Sam
Winchester finds a way to break into Purgatory with a new weapon and
the one artifact that works as a direct link to his brother. His quest
will lead him to revisit his past with Dean and embrace a fear that is
omnipresent in his life. Back home, the effects of Sam’s choices and the
lessons from Purgatory forge another bond that brings the brothers even
closer. 56,000
Romance  Bed!Sharing  Vampire  pining!Sam  guilty!Sam  Bottom!Sam  Schmoop  hurt!Dean  50000+  livejournal  kick!ass!Dean  kick!ass!Sam  hurt!Sam  First!Time  Sam/Dean  post!Season!7  Slash  SPN!Non-AU  Purgatory  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Death  Character-Bobby!Singer  Character-Charlie!Bradbury  Character-Castiel  Character-Garth!Fitzgerald!IV  Character-Jody!Mills 
march 2014 by chellexxx
Memento Vivere
After the events of #THINMAN, Sam finally decides to extend an
olive branch of sorts to his "hunting partner." In the process, he finds
that both he and Dean have old wounds that need to begin healing before
they can fix what's broken between them now. Spoilers, as it's a jump
onto the S9 fix-it bandwagon. Full warnings inside.
livejournal  Short  5000+  Angst  guilty!Dean  guilty!Sam  Confession  915  Season!9  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  SPN  Fix-It-Fic 
march 2014 by chellexxx
Changed for Good
It was a normal day when everything started to change. There
was absolutely nothing special about that day. But the changes were
there, whether Sam noticed them in time or not. / *Spoiler Alert* -
Dean-centric - /Set after 9x13./ Rated T for language .... 3,120
Short  1000+  Domestic!fic  Bat!Cave  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  Dean!centric  guilty!Sam  Angst  913  Season!9  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  sick!Dean  Separated!Boys  Alone/Separated  Separated!Boys  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Castiel 
march 2014 by chellexxx
To End a Life
After Sam walks away from Dean, he begins to wonder if there's anything in his life worth saving. Tag to 5x02: Good God, Y'all!
1,116  Short  1000+  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  Emotionally!hurt  guilty!Sam  Angst  Missing!Scene  502  Season!5  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  early!Season!5  Separated!Boys  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
march 2014 by chellexxx
"I was playin' home," Sam says. John's mouth goes dry and empty
as old ashes. "You what?" "Home. Like where there's a pantry full of
lots of food, and people cook all nice and set tables, and everyone sits
around and talks. Like real families."
Angsty Wee-chesters, John's POV, Sam's POV, and plenty of Dean.
guilty!Sam  Angst  Short  1000+  Domestic!fic  POV!John  Weechesters  Pre-Series  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  SPN  Character-John!Winchester 
march 2014 by chellexxx
Everything No One Else Was
From bathing him as a toddler, to going to his spelling bees,
to being the ten year old that knew what kind of laundry detergent works
best. He's the one who stayed up with him all night when he was sick,
reading him stories, feeding him soup, sleeping with him because he felt
too icky.
Features a headcold!Sam and a sick!Dean.
3,730  Short  1000+  guilty!Sam  sick!Sam  sick!Dean  913  Season!9  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
march 2014 by chellexxx
Famous Last Words
"If the situation had been reversed – if I'd been the one dying
– you'd've done the same for me." "No, Dean. I wouldn't have." Of all
the cruel things Sam has ever said to Dean in the last three decades,
that one probably hurts him the worst. And before he knows it, the
youngest Winchester may find himself unable to ever take it back. 4,635
Short  1000+  Hospital  hurt!Dean  guilty!Sam  Angst  913  Season!9  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  sick!Dean  Hospitalized!Boys  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Castiel 
february 2014 by chellexxx
Most Important
Sam listens when Dean makes a few confessions. Sam has some thinking to do .......
Confession  Angst  Short  1000+  Emotionally!hurt!Dean  Emotionally!hurt  guilty!Sam  913  Season!9  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
february 2014 by chellexxx
Sam decides honesty isn't always best when he realizes just how
his words have hurt his brother & as he fears Dean's reactions he
must come to terms with having to be honest about his reasons for being
ready to die & hoped it wasn't too late.
*Drunk/upset!Dean &Worried;/thoughtful/nervous!Sam with a guest shot
from Jodi Mills.*
Emotionally!hurt!Dean  Emotionally!hurt  Gen  Short  5000+  drunk!Dean  guilty!Sam  Angst  913  Season!9  SPN!Non-AU  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Jody!Mills 
february 2014 by chellexxx
Family Problems Finally Resolved
Warning: Attempted Suicide! This is a oneshot! When Dean told
Sam in season 8 that Benny was a better brother than him it broke Sam.
After the voicemail and the amulet trashing, it was only a matter of
time until Sam broke. This is that story. ... 1,783
806  guilty!Sam  Angst  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  Emotionally!hurt  Short  1000+  Season!8  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  Hospitalized!Boys  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Fix-It-Fic 
january 2014 by chellexxx
The Sound of Silence
After Sam freed Lucifer, Dean says he can't trust him anymore.
Tension rises as the brothers find out about their role in the
Apocalypse. Sam really wants to regain Dean's trust so when he gets
hurt, he doesn't tell him in fear of breaking their already fragile
bond. But the consequences might make him lose more than his brother's
trust. S5, Limp!Hurt!Sam, LittleLimp!Angst!Dean .... 10,141
Beaten  sick!Sam  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  Emotionally!hurt  Angst  Short  10000+  Hunter  Hunt  hurt!Sam  guilty!Sam  early!Season!5  Season!5  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  Hidden!Illness/Injury  Hospital  Hospitalized!Boys  504  pdf/mobi  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
january 2014 by chellexxx
one of those uncertain hands
Sam always lays the guilt on himself when Dean’s in too much freaking pain to knock some sense into him.
sick!Dean  Brain/Head!injury  livejournal  GSW  guilty!Sam  Angst  hurt!Dean  1000+  Short  Season!2  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Born!Under!a!Bad!Sign 
january 2014 by chellexxx
In the Darkness
A look at the life and motivations of Sam Winchester because
the dude gets a lot of crap. Spoilers for all seasons up to Holy Terror.
Warnings: Mild language, mentions character death, and insanity.
Angst  guilty!Sam  Memories/Flashback  909  Season!9  Short  1000+  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  SPN 
january 2014 by chellexxx
The longer Castiel watches, the more he starts to put the
puzzle that is Sam Winchester together. *Sam/Castiel bonding, sick!Sam,
one-shot, season 8, not slash* ... 3,510

Sam&Castiel  Short  Bat!Cave  819  1000+  Domestic!fic  guilty!Sam  sick!Sam  POV!Castiel  Gen  Season!8  SPN!Non-AU  Hospitalized!Boys  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Castiel  Hidden!Illness/Injury 
january 2014 by chellexxx
I Love This Road
Dean's looking worse for wear after a hunt and several people
assume that Sam must be abusing him. And Dean’s singing a song that he
doesn’t know but that is in Sam’s brain. ....4,900
archiveofourown  Sweet  Cursed!Dean  Mind!Reading  Powers!Dean  guilty!Sam  Short  1000+  Bat!Cave  Angst  First!Time  Previous!Relationship  hurt!Dean  Sam/Dean  livejournal  909  Season!9  Slash  SPN!Non-AU  pining!Sam  Bottom!Sam  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Jody!Mills 
december 2013 by chellexxx
Blood Ties
Dean threw away the amulet. Sam understands. He's considering throwing away his life. ........... 1,446
Emotionally!hurt  Angst  Short  1000+  516  Season!5  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  guilty!Sam  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  Voicemail  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
december 2013 by chellexxx
Sam's Confession
Pushed to finally breaking, Sam leaves Dean a startling
confession which he must either face and deal with or risk losing his
brother for good as he tracks Sam before the dark thoughts make him take
the final choice.
Angsty/depressed/dark thoughts/suicidal!Sam & Upset/
angry/concerned!Dean* Set in S8 between Torn and Frayed and LARP &
The Real Girl.
Established!Relationship  Confession  Emotionally!hurt  hurt!Sam  guilty!Sam  asshole!Dean  Depression  Angst  First!Time  Sam/Dean  20000+  810  Season!8  Slash  SPN!Non-AU  Long  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
november 2013 by chellexxx
The Proposal
Sam survives a car accident but is haunted by the other driver who didn't
guilty!Sam  Angst  Ghost  25000+  Car!Accident  hurt!Sam  Season!2  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  Long  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
october 2013 by chellexxx
This was the only way to make sure that Sam lived and that they
would both be okay without me dragging them down. *Final Chapter is
up.* Rated for sexual & nonsexual violence, rape & language.
Abused!Dean  Angst  guilty!Sam  Memories/Flashback  PTSD  hurt!Dean  100000+  Non-Con  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  Epic  Abused  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-John!Winchester 
october 2013 by chellexxx
Ghosts of Future Past
Dean already knows that the future isn't looking good. Sam's
sneaking out at night and lying about it. Dean's pretty sure the angels
are dicks and that they're lying to him, too. It isn't until he gets a
visit from his own ghost that he realizes just how bad it's going to
get, and the future that was becomes part of Dean's memories of the
past. Surely, with all that he knows, he can fix things—if he can stay
alive and sane, that is. A season 4 AU that bumps into seasons 5 and 6.
pdf/mobi  guilty!Sam  hurt!Dean  75000+  Demon  Season!6  Season!5  Time!Travel  Ghost  Season!4  Big!Bang  livejournal  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  Epic  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Time!Travelling!Dean  Character-Death  Character-Bobby!Singer  Character-Castiel  Character-Ellen!Harvelle  Character-Ruby  Character-Jo!Harvelle  Character-Uriel 
october 2013 by chellexxx
Will You Settle For Love
They’re out of the life. Pretty much. But regular jobs and
friendly neighbors don’t negate the fact that the supernatural is still
out there. This is a story about the choices and consequences that come
along with retirement, and a test of how strong their relationship is
when confronted with their past.
Mechanic!Dean  Romance  Mechanic  guilty!Sam  guilty!Dean  hurt!Sam  top!Sam  Bottom!Sam  Angst  Season!7  Case!fic  Ghost  Sam/Dean  10000+  Domestic!fic  Curtain!fic  post!Series  livejournal  Slash  SPN!Non-AU  Short  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Bobby!Singer  Character-Garth!Fitzgerald!IV 
october 2013 by chellexxx
My Father's Favourite
11 year-old Sam doesn't want to move away again, so he prays
for his family to stay in one place. It's a case of "Be careful what you
wish for." Very sick!Dean.
35000+  Angel  guilty!Sam  sick!Dean  Weechesters  Pre-Series  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  Long  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-John!Winchester  Character-Lucifer 
september 2013 by chellexxx
A “Born Under A Bad Sign” AU wherein NotMegSam rapes Dean, but
locks Sam so deep inside himself that he doesn’t know about it.
NotMegSam also tells Dean that Sam won’t have a clue, but he’ll have to
live with it, forever, and that he’ll never tell Sam because he doesn’t
want to burden Sam with such a heavy load.
Possessed!Sam  Season!2  livejournal  guilty!Sam  Length!Unknown  Non-Con  hurt!Dean  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Born!Under!a!Bad!Sign  Character-Bobby!Singer  Character-Meg 
september 2013 by chellexxx
The Characters Upon the Rock
Sam may not see Lucifer anymore, but that doesn't mean he's
anywhere near okay. The guys have to retire from the hunting life, but
civilian life is not what Hallmark Cards promised either...
guilty!Sam  Domestic!fic  Hell  Memories/Flashback  Angst  5000+  Curtain!fic  Season!7  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  Short  SPN  archiveofourown 
september 2013 by chellexxx
With One Kiss
To try and change his destiny, Sam makes a deal of his own.
Dean is not happy. Seriouslylimphurt/Sam pissedprotective/Dean
helpful/Bobby. Throw in some Castiel/Uriel/Lilith/Alastair with a bit of
Ruby. Rating for mentions of non-con, torture, language. .... 60,899
Torture  Non-Con  Deal  hurt!Sam  50000+  guilty!Sam  Season!4  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  Long  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Bobby!Singer  Character-Zachariah  Character-Castiel  Character-Ruby  Character-Lillith  Character-Uriel 
september 2013 by chellexxx
Gone Missing
"I hate you!" Were the last words Sam said to Dean before he
left for a hunt. One he never arrived at. Taken hostage after a chance
encounter, Dean is drawn into a deadly game of torture and fear. Can Sam
and John find Dean before there is nothing left to rescue? Or will Dean
become the latest victim in the 'Game'. Contains Hurt!Dean Angsty!Sam.
No slash, brotherly stuff only.
Angst  35000+  Torture  Beaten  Abducted  guilty!Sam  hurt!Dean  Teenchesters  Pre-Series  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  Long  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-John!Winchester 
september 2013 by chellexxx
Sam’s got his soul back, but it’s not easy living with what he
did while his soul was trapped in the Cage. When one consequence of his
lost year lands in his lap, the Winchesters’ whole world is thrown into
turmoil. 14,600
Angst  Parent/Guardian!Sam  guilty!Sam  livejournal  10000+  Kid!fic  Resouled  Season!6  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  Short  Sam/OFC  OFC  SPN  Character-Castiel  Character-Crowley 
september 2013 by chellexxx
Blue Skies From Rain
The morning after Sam rescues Dean from the djinn, Sam and Dean
go back to the warehouse to take care of the bodies of both the victims
and of the djinn. But instead of what should be a simple clean-up job,
Sam and Dean are sucked into a nightmare world brought about by the
djinn’s last dying act of revenge. (Takes place directly after What Is
and What Should Never Be.) What do you do when you wake up in a mental
institution and you think your brother is dead?
pdf/mobi  Amnesia!Sam  guilty!Sam  drugged!Sam  hurt!Sam  Bottom!Sam  top!Sam  Asylum  hurt!Dean  150000+  Angst  Schmoop  Alternate!Universe  Season!2  Amnesia  First!Time  Sam/Dean  livejournal  Slash  SPN!Non-AU  Epic  Amnesia!Dean  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys  What!Is!and!What!Should!Never!Be 
september 2013 by chellexxx
I Hadn't Noticed
Dean has refused to touch Sam after he got back from Purgatory,
angry and hurting that Sam didn't look for him. He's very indifferent
toward Sam, doesn't trust him, too caught up in his own hurt about Sam
not looking for him. This sends a message to Sam that Dean doesn't
really want anything to do with him and Sam agrees but he can't distance
himself from Dean. He lives for those small moments that Dean still
touches him, is almost ready to beg Dean to do something but he doesn't
voice it. It isn't until after the second trial when Sam is visibly
weakened, stumbling around the MoL bunkers does Dean realize how much
he's been neglecting Sam and he tries to make up for it, anything from
cooking for Sam, touching him more, letting Sam sleep in his room
spooned against Sam's back.
819  guilty!Sam  1000+  asshole!Dean  guilty!Dean  sick!Sam  Previous!Relationship  First!Time  Sam/Dean  livejournal  Season!8  Slash  SPN!Non-AU  Short  Bat!Cave  Angst  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
september 2013 by chellexxx
Sam had been quiet, withdrawn and on edge for a couple of weeks
now. At first Dean had thought that it was as simple as Sam picking up
some sort of bug. It seemed to start when they were in Brockport, NY.
They had exorcised a demon from a teenage girl after it had used her to
murder her three best friends. Sam had hurled beside the car before they
left the abandoned warehouse, twice more on the way back to the motel
and had barely spoken the rest of the night. 2,660
guilty!Sam  Resouled  livejournal  Sad  1000+  hurt!OC  Non-Con  Angst  Memories/Flashback  hurt!Sam  Emotionally!hurt  Season!6  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  Short  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  archiveofourown  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
september 2013 by chellexxx
It Wasn't Your Fault, Sammy
Sam has just released Lucifer from his cage and after he and
Dean have a nasty fight, Sam makes a terrible decision. Rated T for
Suicide, Language, and Torture. This story is set during season five,
though the time line has been changed a bit to fit the story. ....
Season!5  post!Season!4  15000+  asshole!Dean  hurt!Sam  guilty!Dean  guilty!Sam  Angst  SPN!Non-AU  Slash  Sam/Dean  Long  AU!Season!5  Emotionally!hurt  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Castiel  Character-Gabriel/The!Tickster 
august 2013 by chellexxx
The Worst Kind of Freedom
The things Dean said to his brother while under the influence
of the cursed penny broke something inside of Sam. With no hope of
fixing his relationship with Dean, Sam turns to the only option he has
left to set himself and his brother free. Alternate ending to Southern
Comfort. Trigger warning for suicide attempt. Not a deathfic. .... 5,194
806  hurt!Sam  Season!8  Emotionally!hurt  guilty!Sam  Angst  Amulet  guilty!Dean  5000+  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  Short  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  Emotionally!hurt!Dean  Bed!Sharing  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Garth!Fitzgerald!IV 
august 2013 by chellexxx
The Curse
Sam and Dean are "cursed" in a way that allows Sam to relive
bad memories and for Dean to view them as if he were there with Sam,
feeling all he is feeling and seeing all he is seeing. You can decide
what he remembers, but I would really love them to include the amulet,
the voicemail, and John's death - and certainly the night he leaves for
Stanford (because that was a bad night for Sam, even if it was also one
of his best). All throughout these memories there are moments of
lucidity throughout, during which time Dean is helping Sam to ride it
out. You can decide whether this is sexual or just pure brotherly
hurt!Sam  Season!8  Emotionally!hurt  guilty!Sam  post!Season!8  Established!Relationship  Angst  Sam/Dean  Memories/Flashback  Spell/Curse  livejournal  Length!Unknown  Voicemail  guilty!Dean  Amulet  Slash  SPN!Non-AU  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Fix-It-Fic 
july 2013 by chellexxx
Believe Me
Sam and Dean discuss the voicemail from 4.22. Set between 5.01 and 5.02 3,237
1000+  Voicemail  Missing!Scene  501  fics!by!clair!beaubien  Gen  Season!5  SPN!Non-AU  Short  guilty!Sam  Angst  early!Season!5  SPN  Fix-It-Fic 
july 2013 by chellexxx
Sam Falling
Sam's POV. Sam's mind and body are giving out on him. He wants
to finish the trials despite Dean's best attempt to stop him and he
strains to figure out why Dean would want him to stop after he drops an
emotional bombshell on his brother.*Limp/tired/sick/confused!Sam and Big
brother/protective/slight angsty!Dean* Spoilers for 08x23 Sacrifice.
4,400  Angst  823  Season!8  Amulet  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  1000+  Short  guilty!Sam  SPN 
may 2013 by chellexxx
He Should have Known
He just wished Dean would stop waiting and get it over with.
archiveofourown  1000+  livejournal  guilty!Sam  Emotionally!hurt  Voicemail  Season!5  Gen  Short 
april 2013 by chellexxx
standing on the edge of nothing
San Francisco, 1924. Five years after the worst day of his
life, Sam Winchester's still hustling for a living, still searching for
his missing brother, and on the track of a story so big it might just
break him. please be aware that this particular story takes a jaundiced
view of certain religious concepts, necessarily contains period-specific
instances of racism and homophobia, and illustrates an unsympathetic
portrait of Castiel. Warning: major character death, Castiel. 41,000
Romance  Angst  guilty!Dean  Writer!Sam  pining!Sam  guilty!Sam  top!Sam  Sam/OMC  Historical  Big!Bang  35000+  Sam/Dean  Slash  Caught  Long  Someone!Finds!Out  Separated!Boys  Writer!Author  SPN!AU  Homophobia  SPN  AU!Not!Raised!as!Hunters  Character-Castiel  Character-John!Winchester 
august 2012 by chellexxx
Crushing Grip
The building blocks for Sam and Dean’s insane, twisted, and
erotic codependency are two people very much in love and the lengths
they would go to for each other. Their atoms are made up by the road, by
shiny bright diners and smoky bars, by holding their breath when they
pass by cemeteries in an attempt not to breathe in an evil spirit,
unaware that they already have demons hiding in the recesses of their
souls, planted there before they were even born. 20,550
Stanford  Deal  First!Time  hurt!Dean  guilty!Sam  hurt!Sam  Angst  Schmoop  Weechesters  Teenchesters  Pre-Series  Season!5  Season!4  Season!3  Season!2  Season!1  livejournal  20000+  Big!Bang  Sam/Dean  Slash  SPN!Non-AU  Long  pdf/mobi  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
august 2012 by chellexxx
Sam believes that he is unloved so much he wants to die. Then a visitor tells him differently.
Angst  OMC  Heartbreaking  Emotionally!hurt  Angel  1000+  guilty!Sam  Season!7  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  hurt!Sam  Short  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
april 2012 by chellexxx
Repair Me
With Bobby still walking on eggshells around Sam, Sam decides
to try and make things better between them as best he can. It might wind
up killing the both of them, though. 4,653
1000+  aww  612  Season!6  Gen  Sam&Bobby  livejournal  SPN!Non-AU  Short  guilty!Sam  SPN  Character-Bobby!Singer 
march 2012 by chellexxx
Our Better Nature
When Sam kills the crossroads demon, he realizes hes faced with
a dilemma. On one hand, killing demons and their hosts isnt getting
Dean free of his deal so far. On the other, the Colt is the only tool in
Sams arsenal besides his vanished powers, and it kills the host. Shaken
by the experience of burying the woman the crossroads demon inhabited,
Sam goes looking for answers. Can he save Dean and still be worthy of
him? Meanwhile Dean, at times despite himself, is along for the ride.
After all, he only has a year to live, and whats it worth if not spent
with Sam?
Demon  guilty!Sam  Big!Bang  livejournal  25000+  Deal  Season!3  SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Long  SPN  Character-Bobby!Singer 
february 2012 by chellexxx
Roll Away Your Stone
Bobby had always loved Sam like a son, even if the last few
years have made it hard for him to remember that. Spoilers for 7.01.
Sam&Bobby  guilty!Sam  701  Season!7  1000+  GSW  SPN!Non-AU  livejournal  hurt!Sam  Short  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Bobby!Singer 
january 2012 by chellexxx
Apocalypse, Day 1
Post Lucifer Rising. During the first hours of the end of the
world, Sam can only wish that everything was a figment of his
imagination. Except for Dean, who has come and got him, and is bent on
proving he isn't going anywhere.
Gen  post!Season!4  guilty!Sam  Confession  Voicemail  10000+  SPN!Non-AU  Short  SPN  Fix-It-Fic 
december 2011 by chellexxx
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