chellexxx + attempted!suicide/suicidal!thoughts   163

Great Blue World
A man wakes up in a ruined wasteland, without memories, without a name, without knowing the strange guy who claims to once have been an angel, or that he once had a little brother. All he knows is that the world is dying, everyone is lying to him, and that somehow, somewhere, something went terribly wrong. Because someone said Yes when they should have said No, and someone else paid the price.
269,437
SPN  SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Non-Con  Hurt/Sick!Boys  hurt!Sam  Angst  Character-Castiel  Character-Lucifer  Character-Michael  Character-Gabriel/The!Tickster  Character-Crowley  Season!5  AU!Season!5  Character-Bobby!Singer  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Epic  200000+  archiveofourown  Vessel  Vessel!Dean  Amnesia  Amnesia!Dean  post!Apocalypse  Sam&Castiel  Addiction  Addict!Sam  Torture 
may 2017 by chellexxx
Forty-Three Days
The stress of filming the last four episodes of season 3 have caught up with Jensen, who blames his hallucinations on Dean's emotional roller coaster and his own lack of sleep. But a short break between the season finale and the shooting of his new movie fails to improve his mental state. He abandons the movie and becomes a recluse in Vancouver, fearing for his own sanity. Once he realizes that the hallucinations are real, and there's more than just his sanity at stake, Jensen contacts Jared, who may be the only person able to understand what Jensen's going through. Jared arrives in Vancouver just in time to save Jensen's life, but the danger threatening Jensen remains. Their lives become a race against time, and the show has brought them more than they'd bargained for. Jared has to keep Jensen alive for 43 days. Can they make it? ..... 70,806
RPS  RPS!Non-AU  Slash  Jared/Jensen  Season!3  316  livejournal  Season!4  Angst  50000+  Emotionally!hurt  Emotionally!hurt!Jensen  First!Time  pdf/mobi  top!Jared  Bottom!Jared  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Depression  Hurt/Sick!Boys  hurt!Jensen  Long 
april 2017 by chellexxx
Learning to Live Again
Set after the boys went their separate ways. Sam called Dean to tell him that he was Lucifer’s vessel, only to have his brother tell him how much better they were apart. Hurt, and afraid, Sam did the only thing that he thought might work to keep Lucifer from claiming his vessel. Unfortunately, he woke up anyways. Only, when he woke, it was to find the Trickster of all people sitting on the bed across from him.

He hadn’t expected to see him of all people there, and he certainly hadn’t expected to find him in his car the next morning, announcing that he was going to be traveling with him. Together, they set out, one to try and stop this whole thing, and the other for reasons that he keeps to himself.

Loki’s open about his opinion that Sam is going to eventually say ‘yes’. To him, it’s not even a question To Sam, it’s the one thing he’s determined to keep from happening. 132,781
SPN  SPN!Non-AU  Slash  Sam/Gabriel  First!Time  Character-Gabriel/The!Tickster  Season!5  AU!Season!5  504  Character-Bobby!Singer  Character-Castiel  Character-Ellen!Harvelle  Character-Jo!Harvelle  Character-Jesse!Turner  Epic  archiveofourown  100000+  asshole!Dean  Separated!Boys  Angst  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Bottom!Sam  503  505  511  Character-Anna!Milton  Character-Zachariah  Angel  Bonding  Blood!Magic  Dean/Castiel  Possessive!OC  Powers!Sam  Depression  Emotionally!hurt  Emotionally!hurt!Sam 
march 2017 by chellexxx
Broken Wings
“To me, it will always remind myself of the fact that I control
what happens to my body, that I can control my body. It also means that
even though people will always see what they want to see, like a crow
instead of a raven, I will always know what it is, so I will know that
while people always see some guy in a wheelchair, I will remember that I
am Jared. And also... see how the wing is kind of stretched out? It’s
‘cause even though my wings may be broken... I know I’m still free...”
34,333
RPS  RPS!AU  Slash  Jared/CristianKane  First!Time  Romance  Tattoo!Artist!Jared  Ranch/Farm  Paralysis  Car!Accident  RPS!Family  Big!Bang  25000+  livejournal  Long  Angst  Bottom!Jared  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Tattoo!Shop  Permanent!Injury!Jared  Person-Chad!Michael!Murray  Person-Michael!Rosenbaum  Person-Sandy!McCoy 
june 2016 by chellexxx
Safe In the Arms of Love
Total AU Dean Winchester was just your average joe working as a
mechanic in his hometown of Lawarance,KS when he met Sam Logan and
everything changed. No slash or wincest! Warning: mentions of past abuse
of a minor. .... 70,358
SPN  SPN!AU  Gen  Teenchesters  Mechanic  Mechanic!Dean  hurt!Sam  Beaten  Abused  Abused!Sam  Hospitalized!Boys  Non-Con  Emotionally!hurt  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  Shrink  Bed!Sharing  Teacher  Parent/Guardian!Dean  Lawyer  Agent/Police  Local!LEOS/FBI  50000+  fanfiction.net  Long  Domestic!fic  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Domestic!Violence  AU!Not!Brothers  AU!Not!Raised!as!Hunters 
march 2016 by chellexxx
While You Were Gone
Dean was gone and this time Sam had no idea where he was. Sam
could only assume that he was dead. He tried looking for his brother,
God had he tried. He has barely slept for those four long months
catching, questioning and, occasionally torturing any and every creature
he could. He went after demons, Levis, and even an angel and a cupid.
But nobody knew where his brother was at and if they did, they didn’t
say. He had been talking to hunters even though he knew some of them
still hated his guts but for his brother he’d do anything. Or so he
thought. ... 36,200 .. http://waya98.livejournal.com
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Season!8  hurt!Sam  Emotionally!hurt  Memories/Flashback  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  PTSD  Hospitalized!Boys  Angst  Non-Con  Torture  Beaten  Abducted  Abducted!Sam  Motel/Hotel  806  guilty!Dean  Hunter  post!Season!7  Depraved!Humans  Asylum  pdf/mobi  Self!Harm  Bed!Sharing  75000+  livejournal  Epic  archiveofourown  kick!ass!Dean  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  A!Break!From!Hunting  Character-Castiel  Character-Crowley 
february 2016 by chellexxx
Palladium
Jared Padalecki was sixteen when Earth was invaded, shattering
the world as he knew it. A year later, he was stunned when the leader of
the human resistance, Jensen Ackles, was captured by the aliens,
crushing the humans' last gasp of hope. Since then, Jared has made it
his life's mission to rescue and restore Jensen, even if he never
expects to get the chance to do either. But when that chance
unexpectedly comes, Jared has to overcome the obstacles that he's put in
his own way before he can work with his former hero, who's been a
captive for years. If they can overcome the ways they've both been
changed, they might be able to figure out a way to stop the invaders and
maybe even save the world. ... 64,263

Sequel

http://zuben-fic.livejournal.com/95304.html
RPS  RPS!AU  Slash  Jared/Jensen  First!Time  Alien  post!Apocalypse  hurt!Jensen  Abducted  Abducted!Jensen  Big!Bang  Mind!Reading  kick!ass!Jared  50000+  Long  livejournal  Angst  SciFi/Fantasy!AU  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Person-Chad!Michael!Murray  Person-Mark!Pellegrino  Medical!Professional!Jared  Person-Christian!Kane  Person-Sophia!Bush  Person-Aldis!Hodge  Undercover/Secret!Identity 
february 2016 by chellexxx
Shadowland
Jared and Jensen are more than just co-stars but best friends
for life. So when Jensen is finally ready to tell Jared his biggest
secret, he never expects to be insulted and deprecated. Deeply hurt,
Jensen leaves, only to be terminally injured in an accident. Coming to
his senses, Jared regrets what has happened. While he struggles with his
bad conscience and prepares for Jensen´s death, he meets a young woman
who gives Jared the chance to make everything right again. If Jared can
fulfill four tasks in four years, Jensen´s life will be spared. Jared,
who would do everything to save Jensen´s life, agrees. His tasks brings
him to Shadowland, a place like Earth, but desolate, cold, and lonely.
Invisible in real world and struggling with Jensen´s fate and the
terrible role he played in the accident, all Jared has left are the
occasional visits he pays Jensen and the hope that he can make things
right again. ..... 58.832
RPS  RPS!Non-AU  Slash  Jared/Jensen  First!Time  Angst  hurt!Jensen  hurt!Jared  Homophobia  Confession  sick!Jared  Deal  Big!Bang  Schmoop  Romance  Emotionally!hurt  Emotionally!hurt!Jared  Emotionally!hurt!Jensen  50000+  Long  livejournal  Paralysis  Separated!Boys  Alone/Separated  Separated!Boys  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
january 2016 by chellexxx
Without You (The Tears Dry)
for depressing, suicidal thoughts, also mentions of self-harm.
Warnings: Depressing, suicidal thoughts, also mentions of self-harm. Set
in season 8, spoilers for 9x03. Sam makes an unexpected discovery about
Dean. He's keeping a secret journal, in shape of series of cassettes,
for times he wasn't feeling so well. Maybe he didn’t know Dean as well
as he thought he did. But, suicide notes were the last thing on his
mind. .... 56,088
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Season!8  Emotionally!hurt  Emotionally!hurt!Dean  Self!Harm  Secret  Long  fanfiction.net  livejournal  50000+  Depression  Angst  hurt!Dean  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Deleted!Fic!or!Author  pdf/mobi 
november 2015 by chellexxx
Cut These Strings That Hold Me Safe
You know my name, you know my face, you'd know my heart, if you
knew my place." (Follow/Breaking Benjamin) When a not-so-fictional Dean
finds himself in a world where his brother is actually Jared, his
alleged filming partner, and he is supposed to be an actor on a TV show
rather than a hunter, things spin a lot further out of control than even
the Winchesters are used to. Can he find his way back to his own
reality or is nothing of what he remembers reality in the first place?
As Dean and Jared struggle to accept this new and unwanted situation, it
takes a long and painful trip for both of them to realize what they
have lost. But it's not always just about losing someone. .... 26,000
SPN!AU  Slash  Jared/Dean  Angst  Season!2  Actor!Jared  Big!Bang  25000+  Long  livejournal  Actor  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  What!Is!and!What!Should!Never!Be 
november 2015 by chellexxx
By a Single Thread (Mind!verse)
Dr. Jensen Ackles is a renowned neuro-psychologist and pioneer
surgeon in the field known as Mind Mapping, a procedure that involves
entering a coma patient's mindscape and sifting through their memories
and trauma to help the patient wake up from the coma. It’s a complex
procedure that requires strict rules and no lingering remnants of the
visit. But while working with his current patient—Jared Padalecki, male,
24, attempted suicide--Jensen discovers he’s in too deep. He’s formed a
dangerous emotional attachment to Jared that could have devastating
consequences. He finds himself in the difficult situation of risking his
own mind and sense of self by losing himself in Jared. But the more
memories he visits, and the more he gets to know Jared, the more Jensen
realizes how important it is that he save Jared’s life, whether it costs
Jensen his identity or not.
76,041

http://archiveofourown.org/works/4546152/chapters/10348446
RPS  RPS!AU  Slash  Jared/Jensen  First!Time  Big!Bang  Medical!Professional!Jensen  Coma  hurt!Jared  Mind!Reading  Depression  Self!Harm  Angst  Bullies  Emotionally!hurt  Emotionally!hurt!Jared  75000+  livejournal  archiveofourown  Epic  Hospitalized!Boys  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Person-Chad!Michael!Murray  Person-Genevieve!Cortese/Padalecki  Person-Jeffrey!Dean!Morgan 
november 2015 by chellexxx
The Promises of Angels
Nick has never been anything more than a pawn, and he knows
that--but even a pawn, strategically placed, can change the game for
everyone. It's a world full of angels, demons, and humans all fighting
for control of the board. And while all he's really playing for is what
he was promised in the first place--peace that never seems to come--Nick
finds himself dragged back into a high-stakes game he can't afford to
lose. And, no matter how much he wants to break free, it becomes
increasingly clear that something buried deep inside him has changed, in
ways he can't possibly understand; ways that just might keep him
involved in the horrors that Heaven and Hell both inflict on humanity
and, in the end, make things better--or worse. Along the way, there are
friends and foes, wardens and protectors--and those who would try to use
him to shape the future they want to see, with or without his consent.
It begs the question--with truth and trust always in short supply, is
there ever any winner, in the end?
102,488

http://archiveofourown.org/works/4369910/chapters/9917705
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  post!Season!5  Angel  Torture  Big!Bang  100000+  Epic  archiveofourown  livejournal  Outsider!POV  Angst  hurt!OC  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Character-Adam!Milligan  Character-Castiel  Character-Hannah  Character-Crowley  Character-Lucifer  Character-Garth!Fitzgerald!IV  Character-Meg  Character-Kevin!Tran  Character-Claire!Novak  Character-Abaddon  Character-Gadreel  Character-Naomi 
november 2015 by chellexxx
What You Don't Know
Dean comes back from Purgatory and finds his brother
domesticated and withdrawn from the hunting life. Naturally he jumps to
the conclusion that Sam abandoned him to find his cursed normal while
Dean fought for his life. He should have known not to assume anything
when it came to his little brother. ... 7.440
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Season!8  806  Angst  Confession  hurt!Sam  Emotionally!hurt  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  Voicemail  Amulet  Bed!Sharing  Mute!Sam  5000+  archiveofourown  Mute  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Fix-It-Fic 
september 2015 by chellexxx
Turn Away From Evil
Based on the film "Deliver Us From Evil" which is based on a
true story. New York police officer Dean Winchester investigates a
series of crimes. He and his partner, Jody Mills, join forces with an
unconventional priest (Sam Wesson), schooled in the rites of exorcism,
to combat the possessions that are terrorizing their city. ... 35,180

http://archiveofourown.org/works/4731527
SPN!AU  Slash  Sam/Dean  First!Time  Agent/Police!Dean  Local!LEOS/FBI  top!Sam  Non-Con  archiveofourown  Long  35000+  Demon  Possessed!OC  Case!fic  Angst  livejournal  Agent/Police  SPN  Based!on!a!Movie/Book/TV!Show  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  AU!Not!Brothers  AU!Not!Raised!as!Hunters  Movie-Deliver!Us!From!Evil  Character-Bobby!Singer  Character-Adam!Milligan  Character-Garth!Fitzgerald!IV  Character-Ruby  Character-Rufus!Turner  Character-Jody!Mills  Character-Jo!Harvelle  Priest  Priest!Sam 
september 2015 by chellexxx
Wicked Game
It was supposed to be easy. Safe. His new neighbor, Jensen,
with his broad shoulders, the heavy metal band shirts, the dog tags and
all kinds of scars was not Jared's type. Wasn't even gay. It was
supposed to be a casual friendship. But somewhere between unsuccessful
dates with pretty young men and summer days spend on motorcycle rides or
watching cheesy 80s movies with Jensen, things changed for Jared.
Question was, had they changed for Jensen, too? .... 21,000
RPS  RPS!AU  Slash  Jared/Jensen  First!Time  Neighbour  PTSD  Big!Bang  pdf/mobi  Long  20000+  livejournal  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts 
september 2015 by chellexxx
Burnt Offerings
Dean’s a ghost but hey, Sam will get him back alive and in the
meantime, he’s right here, so it’s all okay, right? Right? What’s right
is the Winchester brother’s complicated, impossible codependent need to
fix it, regardless of the consequences. Set around 9:10, before they
find the Book of the Damned. ... 26,000

http://archiveofourown.org/works/4114468
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Season!9  910  Ghost  Ghost!Dean  Big!Bang  livejournal  archiveofourown  25000+  Long  hurt!Sam  Brain/Head!injury  Case!fic  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Castiel  Character-Crowley 
september 2015 by chellexxx
Carry That Weight
Coda to "The Things They Carried." Contains Spoilers. Sam and
Dean have a Brother Moment after leaving Fayetteville. Sam contemplates
how he handled his side of the case and what the future may hold. ...
2.098
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Season!10  1015  Angst  asshole!Dean  Memories/Flashback  Emotionally!hurt  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  1000+  Short  archiveofourown  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
august 2015 by chellexxx
if love sits on your heart like stone
Warnings: Themes of depression, self-harm, suicide ideation.
Post Swan Song AU: If Dean can’t be sure of anything else in the world,
he can be sure of this - he was made for Sam. Made to take care of him,
protect him, look after him. If Sam is gone, then there is no purpose to
his existence. If Sam is gone, there is only one course of action - get
Sam back. This is the story of Sam and Dean finding their way back to
each other, driving down the highway, saving people, hunting things.
..... 32,433

http://archiveofourown.org/works/4152621/chapters/9368958
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Slash  Sam/Dean  post!Season!5  Mute!Dean  Self!Harm  kick!ass!Sam  kick!ass!Dean  Angst  Big!Bang  25000+  archiveofourown  livejournal  Long  Mute  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Character-Bobby!Singer  Character-Castiel  Character-Missouri!Moseley 
august 2015 by chellexxx
Absolute Zero
Heaven is closed, and after Sam's sacrifice, so is Hell.
Crowley is missing, Abaddon is raising Hell on Earth, and Sam and Dean
are lost, trapped in a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere, where Sam
can’t wake up but also can’t die, and nothing Dean does can help. To
find them, Castiel will do whatever it takes, including agreeing to
become the vessel to the only angel willing to answer. And that's only
the beginning... .... 75,787
SPN!Non-AU  Slash  Sam/Dean  First!Time  Big!Bang  Angel  Demon  Season!8  AU!Season!8  Season!9  AU!Season!9  post!Season!8  Possessed!OC  Angst  Bat!Cave  top!Sam  Bottom!Sam  Cabin!fic  hurt!Sam  hurt!Dean  Emotionally!hurt  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  Emotionally!hurt!Dean  Coma  Dream/Nightmare  Deal  75000+  Epic  archiveofourown  Someone!Finds!Out  Romance  Slow!Burn  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Death  Character-Charlie!Bradbury  Character-Castiel  Character-Hannah  Character-Jody!Mills  Character-Kevin!Tran  Character-Gadreel 
june 2015 by chellexxx
The Right Call
If Sam dies in the past, John won't be forced to sacrifice
himself for Dean after a car accident, Dean won't go to Hell, and
Lucifer's cage will stay shut. ..... Sam's family completely disagrees
.................... 4,355
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Season!5  516  Time!Travel  Amulet  Insecurity  Separated!Boys  archiveofourown  Short  1000+  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Time!Travelling!Dean  Time!Travelling!Sam  Character-Castiel  Character-Gabriel/The!Tickster  Character-John!Winchester 
june 2015 by chellexxx
To End a Life
After Sam walks away from Dean, he begins to wonder if there's
anything in his life worth saving. Tag to 5x02: Good God, Y'all! ....
1,116
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Season!5  502  Separated!Boys  Alone/Separated  Angst  1000+  Short  fanfiction.net  Separated!Boys  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts 
may 2015 by chellexxx
Fixing The Damage
Based on this prompt about Sam getting poisoned while he and
Dean are at odds. Dean is gone, and Castiel is the one to come to the
rescue. .... 1,293
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Season!5  AU!Season!5  504  Poison  sick!Sam  hurt!Sam  Sam&Castiel  1000+  archiveofourown  Short  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Castiel 
may 2015 by chellexxx
On the Inverted Undoing of a Boy King
In which Sam snaps while Dean is busy not having fun at a
crappy dive bar. Dean listens to Sam's breakdown with a stomach full of
rotten whisky and 1600 miles in between them. Set in Season 5, after
Dean tells Sam to pick a hemisphere. Author AU where the Angels find Sam
instead of Dean, and show him the universe they think will push him
just the wrong way. .... Sam breaks. ...... 5,338
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Season!5  504  Angst  Voicemail  Depression  Separated!Boys  AU!Season!5  5000+  archiveofourown  Short  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Fix-It-Fic 
may 2015 by chellexxx
All The King's Horses
When Sam is unable to restrain Demon!Dean to cure him on his
own, he tracks down Gabriel and makes him an offer that makes even an
archangel blanch. Instead of giving Sam what he wants, the Trickster
enlists the help of Castiel and Flagstaff to help both brothers remember
that it was their love story that saved the world once... by sending
them on a quest through Sam's mind. ..... 15,894
Dream!Walking  guilty!Sam  guilty!Dean  Long  15000+  archiveofourown  Memories/Flashback  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  Emotionally!hurt  Demon!Dean  Spell/Curse  Dream/Nightmare  Angel  Angst  Season!10  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Gabriel!Lives  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Castiel  Character-Gabriel/The!Tickster  Character-Flagstaff 
march 2015 by chellexxx
Worst Moment
Sam thinks back to the worst moment of his life and it modifies
his outlook on his current relationship with Dean. Sam POV. One shot.
Season Nine. Brotherly affecton. ... 1,099
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Season!5  Season!8  Season!9  503  504  806  912  Angst  Memories/Flashback  Emotionally!hurt  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  1000+  fanfiction.net  Short  Separated!Boys  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
january 2015 by chellexxx
The Start Of Something
Castiel knew that Metatron killed Dean, but he expected his
friend would make it to Heaven. When that doesn't happen he reluctantly
joins forces with Sam to try to figure out what happened and how to fix
it. He surprises himself by the pleasure he takes in working with Sam
and soon comes to the realization that he loves Sam for his own sake.
Convincing Sam of that, or that such a thing is even possible, may prove
even more of a challenge than hunting down a super-demon and curing
him. ... 23,447

http://archiveofourown.org/works/2397326/chapters/5299334
SPN!Non-AU  Slash  post!Season!9  Sam/Castiel  First!Time  Depression  Demon!Dean  Big!Bang  20000+  livejournal  archiveofourown  Long  pining!Castiel  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Character-Castiel  Character-Hannah  Character-Flagstaff  Character-Cain 
december 2014 by chellexxx
Redux
"Do you know what it feels like?" Sam shouts, a tear snaking
down his cheek. "To watch the person you care about most die and there's
nothing you can do about it?" Silence. Then, finally, "Yeah, Sammy. I
do." ... 2,300
center-galaxy.
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Season!3  Mystery!Spot  Missing!Scene  Angst  Short  1000+  fanfiction.net  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts 
september 2014 by chellexxx
Roof But No Ceiling
With Sam in recovery from the trials, Dean finds himself at
loose ends, tethered to the bunker and his sick brother and bored out of
his mind. When a ghostly woman in early 20th century clothing walks
through his bedroom in the middle of the night, he's mostly just glad to
have something to focus on that isn't Sam or Kevin or his search for
Cas. Following her leads deeper into the bunker -- and Men of Letters
history -- than he and Sam ever expected to go. .. 57,000

http://archiveofourown.org/works/2047308
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Season!9  AU!Season!9  sick!Sam  Bat!Cave  Ghost  Big!Bang  hurt!Sam  50000+  Long  archiveofourown  livejournal  Case!fic  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Castiel  Character-Crowley  Character-Kevin!Tran 
september 2014 by chellexxx
Dead Gods
Dean thought he was keeping Ben and Lisa safe when he asked
Castiel to erase their memories. But when he comes across Ben at a gas
station in Florida, memories intact and claiming that Lisa is missing,
Dean realizes that the monsters were always going to come for them
whether Dean was in their lives or not. ... The Winchesters aren't the
only ones who can't stay dead. .. 120,000

http://archiveofourown.org/works/2017221/chapters/4375173
SPN!Non-AU  Gen  Season!8  818  Big!Bang  archiveofourown  livejournal  100000+  Epic  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Character-Castiel  Character-Lisa!Braeden  Character-Ben!Braeden 
september 2014 by chellexxx
Two-Headed Boy
Sam's life from sixteen to twenty-two years old. Theirs is a
story of the last days of innocence during a sweltering Southern summer
when Sam is so in love with his brother, he can barely stand his touch.
It's the pain between them through lies, through jealousy, through
seeing each other with someone else. Theirs is a story of leaving and
Stanford, of Dean feeling lost and Sam nearly losing himself without his
brother. It's fire and reunion and a love never lost - ever-present and
no longer deniable. .. 208,265 ..... sequel to The Ballad of the
Invisible Boy ...... http://melungeoned.livejournal.com/55463.html

verse http://archiveofourown.org/series/129525
SPN!Non-AU  Slash  Pre-Series  Teenchesters  Sam/Dean  First!Time  pining!Sam  Season!1  Season!2  Angst  Bottom!Sam  Self!Harm  Sam/Jess  Het  Big!Bang  200000+  Epic  livejournal  archiveofourown  Stanford  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Character-Bobby!Singer  Character-John!Winchester  Character-Missouri!Moseley 
september 2014 by chellexxx
Giving Up the Ghost
Since his parents’ divorce, Jensen Ackles has just about given
up on the living. Moving from town to town with his Mom and Sister, his
only solace has been found in music, and ignoring pretty much everything
else. The latest move to a massive plantation home in Louisiana feels
like a dream come true: he'll have all the space and privacy he's ever
wanted. But there's something--someone--else living in the house. And
they're absolutely bent on making Jensen's peace and quiet a living
hell. Jensen's just a moody teenager who wants to be left alone. And
Jared is the lonely ghost that haunts his bedroom. Determined to get rid
of the pesky poltergeist, Jensen makes it his mission to get Jared to
move on from this earth. But the more time they spend searching for
Jared's way to cross over, the more Jensen is discovering that Jared
might be one of the few people on this earth--living and dead--that he
might want to keep around. .. 89,327

http://archiveofourown.org/works/2129613/chapters/4649682
RPS  RPS!AU  Slash  Jared/Jensen  Ghost  First!Time  Big!Bang  RPS!Family  Angst  Self!Harm  archiveofourown  livejournal  Long  75000+  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Person-Chad!Michael!Murray  Person-Danneel!Harris/Ackles  Person-Genevieve!Cortese/Padalecki 
september 2014 by chellexxx
One Kiss At A Time
Jensen, Jared's newest employee at Jay's Pad, has had a hard
decade. Recently released from a rehab facility, Jensen's living at a
shelter and just needs some help getting his life back on track, and
Jared vows to be the one to do just that. Jensen is also an amazing guy
and Jared finds himself falling hard after just a week, and he's
delighted to find out that Jensen feels the same way. But Jensen still
has demons he's fighting and secrets he's keeping and Jared knows that a
relationship is the last thing Jensen needs right now. But his heart
isn't listening, and when Jared's involved in a stomach churning ordeal,
it brings up things from Jensen's past that are revealed to be the
causes of all his problems. And Jared doesn't know if he can fix them
all. ...70,033

Verse 80,000
http://archiveofourown.org/series/152768
RPS  RPS!AU  Slash  Jared/Jensen  First!Time  Big!Bang  Boss/employee  Coffee!Shop/Cafe  Addiction  Addict!Jensen  Angst  pining!Jared  Domestic!fic  livejournal  Living!Together  Memories/Flashback  Emotionally!hurt  Emotionally!hurt!Jensen  RPS!Family  Chef/Baker!Jensen  Romance  hurt!Jared  Bottom!Jared  50000+  Long  archiveofourown  Non-Con  Barista!Jensen  Barista!Jared  Work!Together  Boss!Jared  Wealthy/Not!Wealthy  Wealthy!Jared  Chef/Baker  Barista  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Person-Chad!Michael!Murray  Person-Christian!Kane  Person-Danneel!Harris/Ackles  Person-Genevieve!Cortese/Padalecki  Person-Steve!Carlson 
august 2014 by chellexxx
Worth the Fight
After a car accident leaves 17-year-old Jared comatose, he is
stuck in the middle of life and death with one other guy for company.
The more time he spends with the other man, Jared realizes that he's
starting to fall for him and is even more determined to recover so the
two can start their life together. But how do you start a life with
someone who's just waiting for the end?
RPS  RPS!AU  Slash  Jared/Jensen  First!Time  Coma  Angst  hurt!Jared  hurt!Jensen  Non-Con  Self!Harm  Length!Unknown  livejournal  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
july 2014 by chellexxx
The Lucifer Problem
Dean and Sam try to make it work, but after Heaven, it becomes
clear to Dean that it would be best to separate. Sam decides to let Dean
stop the apocalypse, while Sam takes on the Lucifer problem. After all,
if Lucifer doesn't have a true vessel to take, he'll be that much
easier to defeat. Sam goes off the grid, and not even Castiel can find
him. Pairings: Sastiel .... 23,965 Companion fic ..
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10313907/1/To-Protect-And-Defend ....
http://archiveofourown.org/series/135621
SPN!Non-AU  Slash  Sam/Castiel  First!Time  Season!5  516  Angst  AU!Season!5  Self!Harm  Dream/Nightmare  hurt!Sam  Emotionally!hurt  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  guilty!Dean  guilty!Sam  Powers!Sam  fanfiction.net  20000+  Long  pdf/mobi  Separated!Boys  archiveofourown  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Bobby!Singer  Character-Castiel  Character-Gabriel/The!Tickster  Character-Lucifer  Dream!Walking 
may 2014 by chellexxx
To End a Life
After Sam walks away from Dean, he begins to wonder if there's anything in his life worth saving. Tag to 5x02: Good God, Y'all!
1,116
fanfiction.net  Short  1000+  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  Emotionally!hurt  guilty!Sam  Angst  Missing!Scene  502  Season!5  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  early!Season!5  Separated!Boys  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
march 2014 by chellexxx
Overdose
After the events of Born Under a Bad Sign, it's clear to Sam
that Dean can't do what needs to be done. So he decides to take care of
things himself.
Warnings for drug use and suicide attempt.
4,165
fanfiction.net  Short  1000+  Angst  drugged!Sam  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  Emotionally!hurt  Season!2  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Born!Under!a!Bad!Sign 
march 2014 by chellexxx
Family Problems Finally Resolved
Warning: Attempted Suicide! This is a oneshot! When Dean told
Sam in season 8 that Benny was a better brother than him it broke Sam.
After the voicemail and the amulet trashing, it was only a matter of
time until Sam broke. This is that story. ... 1,783
806  guilty!Sam  Angst  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  Emotionally!hurt  fanfiction.net  Short  1000+  Season!8  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  Hospitalized!Boys  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Fix-It-Fic 
january 2014 by chellexxx
A Mile in My Shoes, a Lifetime in My Head
One morning Jared and Jensen wake up and find they've been
body-swapped. At first, it's pretty funny as they deal with being in
each other's body! But things quickly get serious when Jared falls ill
and Jensen can't seem to help him. Secrets can't be hidden when you're
in your partner's head . . .
Set in between Seasons 1 and 2; no spoilers.
20,000

http://archiveofourown.org/users/firesign10
livejournal  Angst  Established!Relationship  Jared/Jensen  RPS!Non-AU  sick!Jared  Body!Swap  archiveofourown  Long  20000+  Slash  RPS  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
january 2014 by chellexxx
Diablerie
Post 5.04 The End - "No matter how many times I try..." Dean's
eyebrows knitted together in confusion. He was almost afraid to ask what
that could mean. 'Try what'"He just keeps bringing me back." Sam's
voice cracked, just like Dean's heart. "Bringing you back from what,
Sam?" Sam's only response was clicking off the safety of his gun. "SAM?"
2,005
fanfiction.net  Short  1000+  GSW  hurt!Sam  Emotionally!hurt  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  Angst  504  Season!5  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  early!Season!5  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
january 2014 by chellexxx
A Moment Too Late
Dean and Cas tried to reach Sam before he closed the
gates...but they were a moment too late. This is a what if scenario
where Sam sacrifices his life to close Hell. WARNINGS! See Inside for
specifics.
79,887
Emotionally!hurt  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  Angst  hurt!Sam  Non-Con  Epic  75000+  fanfiction.net  823  Season!8  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  AU!Season!8  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Castiel  Powerless!Castiel  Emotionally!hurt!Dean  Dean!centric 
january 2014 by chellexxx
Missing Jared
Jensen is trying to get his life back on track. The last few
years have been traumatic. Now he’s finally off to college, he’s made a
new friend and has a crush on his professor. But there are things in his
past that are unresolved and Jensen isn’t as strong as he’d hoped then
everything comes crashing down. Now he’s learning to live without his
first love and trying to sort out what he wants to do with his life.
He’s had to accept that he’ll probably never stop missing Jared, but six
years is a long time to keep hoping. So maybe it’s time to move on.
Perhaps there’s even the chance of a new romance. It’s all very
confusing. 46,000

http://archiveofourown.org/works/476706/chapters/827060
RPS!Family  Emotionally!hurt!Jensen  Emotionally!hurt  Heartbreaking  Sad  College!AU  Depression  Romance  Previous!Relationship  PTSD  Angst  Memories/Flashback  Big!Bang  archiveofourown  pining!Jensen  Long  livejournal  35000+  First!Time  Jared/Jensen  Slash  RPS  RPS!AU  Student!Jensen  Jensen/Jeffrey!Dean!Morgan  Depraved!Humans  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Person-Christian!Kane  Person-Steve!Carlson  Person-Jeffrey!Dean!Morgan 
december 2013 by chellexxx
Blood Ties
Dean threw away the amulet. Sam understands. He's considering throwing away his life. ........... 1,446
Emotionally!hurt  Angst  fanfiction.net  Short  1000+  516  Season!5  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  guilty!Sam  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  Voicemail  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
december 2013 by chellexxx
Sam's Confession
Pushed to finally breaking, Sam leaves Dean a startling
confession which he must either face and deal with or risk losing his
brother for good as he tracks Sam before the dark thoughts make him take
the final choice.
Angsty/depressed/dark thoughts/suicidal!Sam & Upset/
angry/concerned!Dean* Set in S8 between Torn and Frayed and LARP &
The Real Girl.
20,040
Established!Relationship  Confession  Emotionally!hurt  hurt!Sam  guilty!Sam  asshole!Dean  Depression  fanfiction.net  Angst  First!Time  Sam/Dean  20000+  810  Season!8  Slash  SPN!Non-AU  Long  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
november 2013 by chellexxx
Dream Weaver
Sam begins to have intense nightmares that put him on the edge
of sanity. Will Dean be able to find the cause before he loses his
brother?
30,744
sick!Sam  Dream/Nightmare  25000+  fanfiction.net  hurt!Sam  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  Long  SPN  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Season!2  Arm!broken/injured  Character-Bobby!Singer  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Possessed!Sam  Demon  Spell/Curse 
october 2013 by chellexxx
Decisions In Blood
Season Two- 8 Episode Tag: When Dean almost flat lines, Sam has
an emotional breakdown which drives him to drastic measures in hope of
contacting his brother’s spirit. WARNING: Self Harm / Tags span from In
My Time of Dying thru Cross Road Blues
33,734
Angst  hurt!Sam  Self!Harm  Emotionally!hurt  sick!Dean  fanfiction.net  25000+  Season!2  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  Long  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  Hospitalized!Boys  Hospital  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  In!My!Time!of!Dying 
october 2013 by chellexxx
Disorder
Order is the fragile illusion of control...a lie we tell
ourselves by necessity, because the reality of our impermanence and
futility is maddening. What happens to a man who looks upon the face of
entropy? 62,423
Angst  Powers!Sam  Vision  Case!fic  Hospital  sick!Sam  Season!2  Voicemail  fanfiction.net  50000+  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  Long  Hospitalized!Boys  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
october 2013 by chellexxx
Always Darkest Before the Dawn
Jared and Jensen have not seen one another since high school. A
chance meeting in a bar one night leads to so much more than what
either could have hoped for. What do you do when you know you are your
best friend’s only hope yet you are barely keep your own head above
water? ......
46,799
pdf/mobi  Armed!Forces!Jensen  Armed!Forces  35000+  Angst  Non-Con  Self!Harm  top!Jared  First!Time  Jared/Jensen  livejournal  Slash  RPS  Long  RPS!AU  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts 
september 2013 by chellexxx
The ABC of Limp Sam
The Alphabet of limp!Sam. Different stories every chapter.
Brother bonding, bad times, good times, other characters... stories with
heart. Hurt!Comfort. Limp!Sam Pro!Dean some limp!Dean. ...... 93,272
pdf/mobi  Season!Undefined  Car!Accident  Angel  Possessed!Sam  Mother!Nature  Trapped  fanfiction.net  drugged!Sam  75000+  sick!Sam  hurt!Sam  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  Epic  Earthquake  Storm  Season!4  Torture  Vision  Angst  Season!5  503  Het  Sam/Lindsey  GSW  Hunter  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Natural!Disaster  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Bobby!Singer  Character-Castiel  Character-Lucifer  Character-Ruby  Character-Lindsey 
september 2013 by chellexxx
Heart of the problem
A case takes the brothers to L.A where they run into a couple of soulled vamps. Dean's not sure he can fix what's broken. 25,050
Vampire  Case!fic  Angst  livejournal  Slash  25000+  Season!8  Sam/OMC  Sam/Dean  Crossover  SPN!Non-AU  Long  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  TV!Show-Angel 
september 2013 by chellexxx
On the Edge
"He's standing on a cliffside, somewhere in California. He's
looking down at the endless blue sea before him, which spreads out as
far as the eye can see. If he were to take a step right now, he could
end it all." *one-shot, suicidal Sam, BigBrother!Dean, Awesome!Bobby*
3,099
center-galaxy
PTSD  1000+  fanfiction.net  Emotionally!hurt  Season!7  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  Short  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Character-Bobby!Singer 
september 2013 by chellexxx
Cognitive Realignment
To Sam, Dean is everything he needs and doesn't need to be. The
amulet showed that and when Sam needed verification that what was going
on in his head was really just his imagination, all he had to do was
look to his brother and it was there, a constant reminder. And it was
always with them, every second of every day. Until it wasn't.. . 5,911
......... http://archiveofourown.org/works/865984
522  Christmas  a!very!supernatural!christmas  516  503  Season!2  Season!1  Sam/Dean  First!Time  Slash  Season!Undefined  5000+  Voicemail  Amulet  Angst  Season!8  SPN!Non-AU  Short  early!Season!5  archiveofourown  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Fix-It-Fic  Character-Bobby!Singer  Character-Castiel  Character-Kevin!Tran 
september 2013 by chellexxx
Damage
Jensen Ackles has the perfect life. He's the governor of Texas,
happily married, and has an incredible daughter. Everything is fine,
until his little girl brings her new boyfriend home. 21,587

http://archiveofourown.org/works/924078/chapters/1795862
RPS!Family  Possessive!Jensen  Jealous!Jensen  pining!Jensen  20000+  Jensen/ofc  Politics  Jared/ofc  First!Time  Jared/Jensen  livejournal  Slash  RPS  Long  RPS!AU  Infidelity  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  archiveofourown 
september 2013 by chellexxx
It Wasn't Your Fault, Sammy
Sam has just released Lucifer from his cage and after he and
Dean have a nasty fight, Sam makes a terrible decision. Rated T for
Suicide, Language, and Torture. This story is set during season five,
though the time line has been changed a bit to fit the story. ....
15,181
Season!5  post!Season!4  15000+  asshole!Dean  hurt!Sam  guilty!Dean  guilty!Sam  Angst  SPN!Non-AU  Slash  Sam/Dean  fanfiction.net  Long  AU!Season!5  Emotionally!hurt  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Castiel  Character-Gabriel/The!Tickster 
august 2013 by chellexxx
The Worst Kind of Freedom
The things Dean said to his brother while under the influence
of the cursed penny broke something inside of Sam. With no hope of
fixing his relationship with Dean, Sam turns to the only option he has
left to set himself and his brother free. Alternate ending to Southern
Comfort. Trigger warning for suicide attempt. Not a deathfic. .... 5,194
806  fanfiction.net  hurt!Sam  Season!8  Emotionally!hurt  guilty!Sam  Angst  Amulet  guilty!Dean  5000+  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  Short  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  Emotionally!hurt!Dean  Bed!Sharing  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Garth!Fitzgerald!IV 
august 2013 by chellexxx
Epiphany
Sam Winchester, vessel for Lucifer, decides to never say yes.
And no matter what, he'll stick by that. Sort of AU for the beginning of
S5, after Free to Be You and Me.
5,034
Solo!Hunt  504  Powers!Sam  Electrocution  Abducted!Sam  Torture  Hunter  fanfiction.net  hurt!Sam  Voicemail  Angst  5000+  Gen  Season!5  SPN!Non-AU  Short  AU!Season!5  early!Season!5  Separated!Boys  Depraved!Humans  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Lucifer 
august 2013 by chellexxx
Like the Back of My Hand
The year is 2107 and all physical human contact has been
outlawed. Jared was born into this world and he’s never experienced
anything like real human touch. But there’s a secret world that exists
on the outskirts of this one; rumors of people who deal and touch in
back alleys for the right amount of money. Curious despite himself, he
tags along with a friend to witness one of these deals. All it takes is
one moment, wrong place, wrong time, and Jared finds himself a part of
this secret world, led in by Jensen. Jensen is everything about this
world that gets people killed, but Jared’s curiosity gets the better of
him, because while Jared has never been touched, Jensen still remembers
what it was like to be touched. Curiosity shifts to passion and Jared’s
no longer able to deny himself the need to understand physical touch,
and to have Jensen be the one to teach him. In a world where people die
to hold hands in the shadows, to steal just one kiss ..... 127,000

http://archiveofourown.org/works/904969/chapters/1751305
Self!Harm  livejournal  RPS  Big!Bang  100000+  archiveofourown  Jared/Jensen  First!Time  Slash  Epic  RPS!AU  Bottom!Jared  post!Apocalypse  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Person-Chad!Michael!Murray  Person-Christian!Kane  Person-Danneel!Harris/Ackles 
july 2013 by chellexxx
Moonstar
Running on empty after a terrible job, desperate for a break,
the guys take on one more job that might be the one that finishes Dean
off for good.
57,804
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2949956/1/Moonstar
Long  50000+  fanfiction.net  sick!Dean  hurt!Dean  Big!Bang  Angst  Self!Harm  Season!1  Depression  livejournal  Motel/Hotel  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
july 2013 by chellexxx
Escaping Destiny
Set after Dean told Sam to pick a hemisphere and hung up on him
in S5. Sam realizes that he has to stop Lucifer from taking him for a
vessel. At all costs. 2,191
503  hurt!Sam  Angst  Coma  Season!5  1000+  Heartbreaking  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  Short  Hospitalized!Boys  Hospital  early!Season!5  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Bobby!Singer  Character-Castiel 
july 2013 by chellexxx
Gunpoint
Jensen got his childhood stolen away from him when he was ten
years old. Along with his memory, his voice and every emotion that
wasn’t fear, hatred or anger. Question is, can Jared help him get any of
it back? And more importantly, does Jensen really want him to? ....
130,000

http://archiveofourown.org/works/861978/chapters/1652215
Mute!Jensen  Angst  Artist!Jensen  Student!Jensen  Student!Jared  College!AU  Abused!Jensen  archiveofourown  RPS  Jared/Jensen  Jensen/omc  livejournal  100000+  hurt!Jensen  First!Time  Slash  PTSD  Epic  RPS!AU  Jensen/Jeffrey!Dean!Morgan  Depraved!Humans  Homophobia  Mute  Abused  Artist  Amnesia  Amnesia!Jensen  Emotionally!hurt  Memories/Flashback  Emotionally!hurt!Jensen  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Domestic!Violence  Person-Chad!Michael!Murray  Person-Christian!Kane  Person-Sophia!Bush  Person-Jeffrey!Dean!Morgan 
july 2013 by chellexxx
Brand New Start & Find His Way Back
Jared Padalecki is one messed up kid, after his parent die he
his tossed from Foster home to Foster home slowly losing everyone he
loves. He's given one last chance with the Ackles. Can he come to peace
with his past? Will he admit that he's attracted to Jensen? AU story of a
hurt boy who's trying to find some peace and maybe, if he's lucky,
love. 21,000 Jared is lost. He is still trying to heal and work out what
he is going to with his life when it all come crashing down around his
ears. The Ackles are wonderful and Jared doesn’t want to let them down.
However, since most of his life he’s disappointed people he really
wonders if he has a chance. Jensen wants to help Jared find his way back
before he’s lost forever. 18,600

http://archiveofourown.org/series/6626
Homeless!Jared  RPS!AU  Ranch/Farm  RPS  Living!Together  Emotionally!hurt  CPS  Angst  RPS!Family  livejournal  !School  First!Time  35000+  Slash  hurt!Jared  Long  Domestic!fic  Emotionally!hurt!Jared  Amnesia  Amnesia!Jared  Foster!Care  Non-Con  hurt!Jensen  pining!Jensen  Homeless  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  archiveofourown  Shrink 
june 2013 by chellexxx
Gifts
Dean discovers sometimes the greatest sacrifices aren't that
big after all, and the smallest gifts can make all the difference.
Hurt!Sick Sam .... 90,151
Season!4  Depression  Curtain!fic  Paralysis  pdf/mobi  fanfiction.net  hurt!Sam  sick!Sam  Hospital  75000+  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  Epic  Hospitalized!Boys  Angst  Domestic!fic  First!Time  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Permanent!Injury!Sam  Character-Impala  Kitten/Cat 
june 2013 by chellexxx
Home Is Where The Heart Is
Shortly after John's death, Sam becomes constantly fatigued and
sick, but keeps it from his brother. Until one day he is unable to keep
his secret. Afterwards it becomes a race to save his life and quite
possibly...his brother's too!
120,081
pdf/mobi  Angst  Emotionally!hurt  fanfiction.net  Season!2  sick!Sam  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  100000+  Epic  Hidden!Illness/Injury  Hospitalized!Boys  Hospital  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
may 2013 by chellexxx
Out of the Darkness
Towards the end of Supernatural, Jared and Jensen are slowly
drifting apart until there is nothing of their friendship left and they
literally go separate ways. When they coincidentally meet eight years
later, Jared finds his former best friend not only pysically changed but
also mentally hurt. Can Jared and Jensen find each other again? And can
Jared help Jensen to leave behind the darkness that has been encasing
him ever since that accident has changed his life? .... 45,990
RPS  livejournal  35000+  First!Time  Jared/omc  hurt!Jensen  post!Series  RPS!Non-AU  Jared/Jensen  Slash  Long  Separated!Boys  Paralysis  Emotionally!hurt  Emotionally!hurt!Jensen  pdf/mobi  Schmoop  Angst  Previous!Relationship  Jared/Genevieve  Jensen/Danneel  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Person-Danneel!Harris/Ackles  Person-Genevieve!Cortese/Padalecki 
march 2013 by chellexxx
Liars and Deceivers
Jared's a vulnerable young man, just getting his life back
together after escaping an abusive relationship. When he lands a new job
in accounts and falls in love with his boss, Jensen Ackles, he thinks
his luck has changed for the better. But trouble lurks in the shadows,
just waiting for the chance to strike. 8,130
Boss/employee  Depression  Office  hurt!Jared  Bottom!Jared  RPS  livejournal  Jared/Jensen  First!Time  5000+  Slash  Short  RPS!AU  Abused!Jared  Angst  CEO!Jensen  Work!Together  Depraved!Humans  Boss!Jensen  Wealthy/Not!Wealthy  Wealthy!Jensen  Abused  C.E.O  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Domestic!Violence  Person-Christian!Kane  Person-Michael!Rosenbaum  Person-Sandy!McCoy 
january 2013 by chellexxx
Knocking on Death's Door
Sam's depressed after he finds out he's Lucifer vessel. During
Dean's time in the future. Sam decides to test Lucifer's theory and see
if he really will bring him back, but the angels find him first and
refuse for the 'tainted one' to complete such a sinful action. Once Dean
comes back and tries to call Sam, Sam doesn't answer.
11,970
pdf/mobi  Torture  livejournal  10000+  Angst  Angel  Emotionally!hurt  hurt!Sam  Depression  503  Season!5  Gen  SPN!Non-AU  Short  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  early!Season!5  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Character-Bobby!Singer  Character-Castiel  Character-Missouri!Moseley 
august 2012 by chellexxx
Striving For the Light
Trying to fight the good fight just keeps getting more
complicated. It only gets worse when Sam and Dean have to infiltrate
another suspected Leviathan stronghold: a newly built holiday complex in
the Poconos; lakeside cabins and all the holiday entertainment you
could desire. The only thing is, its a couples only resort. The lines
between fantasy and reality are already blurred for Sam. He can only
struggle to keep up the pretence of normality for so long before he
breaks for good.
25,000
Case!fic  top!Sam  Big!Bang  archiveofourown  Self!Harm  Memories/Flashback  Dub-Con  livejournal  hurt!Sam  Emotionally!hurt  Angst  Pretend/Mistaken/Couple  Season!7  SPN!Non-AU  25000+  Sam/Dean  First!Time  Slash  Long  Emotionally!hurt!Sam  SPN  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys  Undercover/Secret!Identity 
august 2012 by chellexxx
Along This Rocky Road We Travel, Together
Jared goes out to the store one night and is brutally raped and
beaten. Throughout his recovery, Jensen's there, every step of the way.
15,335
RPS!Family  Living!Together  RPS!Non-AU  Established!Relationship  Angst  Amnesia  PTSD  15000+  guilty!Jensen  Non-Con  hurt!Jared  livejournal  Slash  RPS  Jared/Jensen  Long  Domestic!fic  Depraved!Humans  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
july 2012 by chellexxx
Old News
The Media always love a scandal sometimes, though, they dont look at the tragedy behind the words.
9,721
First!Time  Heartbreaking  RPS!Non-AU  Angst  5000+  hurt!Jared  livejournal  Slash  RPS  Jared/Jensen  Short  Hospitalized!Boys  Attempted!Suicide/Suicidal!Thoughts  Hurt/Sick!Boys 
april 2012 by chellexxx
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