Twitter
I’m at Faber & Faber for a meeting and look who is in the front of their catalogue - . I can’t wait for…
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12 hours ago
Behind the numbers: How guns kill cops | Hub
10% of police officers killed in gun homicides killed with their own weapon.
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12 hours ago
Twitter
Another day of being let down by my Google alert for “has that Japanese pill on 30 Rock that makes your pubes fall…
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12 hours ago
Twitter
RT : When "highly trained teachers" is a comment on their firearms proficiency as opposed to their educational qualifica…
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12 hours ago
Twitter
RT : Me: i just arse around on twitter really
Me after two drinks: This is me. This is actually me. I'm an artist, a tru…
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12 hours ago
Twitter
I really hope and win. The podcast DOES make me more cheerful.
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12 hours ago
Twitter
RT : the fact that we're so awestruck by someone (a teenager) publicly asking Marco Rubio if he'd stop taking NRA money…
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12 hours ago
Twitter
Fuck him. Learning environments cannot and shouldn’t operate like military bases on high alert. You train kids to b…
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12 hours ago
Twitter
RT : It’s 75th anniversary of the death one of the most heroic women in history: Sophie Scholl, executed by Nazis on 22…
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12 hours ago
Twitter
RT : As someone who’s spent time around guns and has fired an AR-15 I can tell you that it is light as a feather and fir…
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13 hours ago
Twitter
RT : The 2000ad epic, Judge Dredd: Necropolis (1990) including all the other amazing stories that fed into…
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13 hours ago
Twitter
RT : Marjory Stoneman Douglas student Alfonso Calderon: "Trust me. I understand. I was in a closet, locked for 4 hours w…
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13 hours ago
Twitter
RT : If any of my teachers had had guns I wouldn't be here today. On behalf of all shitheads getting sent to the back of…
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13 hours ago
Twitter
RT : Record collector who sees difference between 'Near Mint' and 'Very Good' will never find true love…
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13 hours ago
Twitter
Last night at the live show someone greeted me by saying: “Oh! You’re , the one who…
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13 hours ago
Twitter
RT : Had a dream last night that I and (whom I have never met or spoken to IRL) were in a big house, gu…
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13 hours ago
Twitter
RT : Call me an iconoclast if you must, but I would rather lick vomit from a plate of broken glass than spend 5 minutes…
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13 hours ago
Twitter
I was kidding. I understand how to code switch. I don’t start important meetings by screaming “let’s be fucking hav…
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13 hours ago
[unknown title]
Here’s the list my team give me: 1. Stop swearing so much. 2. No, really. 3. Stop mentioning Marx 4. Don’t wear the…
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13 hours ago
Twitter
RT : Also, referring to you as 'a Guardian blogger' is a classic dick move to dismiss your view when you're a j…
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13 hours ago
Twitter
RT : Since it's kicking off again, here for the record are:
Hari's claim about me from today
An excerpt from my article…
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13 hours ago
Twitter
RT : Pro-tip for civil disobedience: you _want_ them to have to process 500 suspensions. Make sure you come back later l…
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13 hours ago
Twitter
Got a lecture from Gammon for riding slow up onto the pavement to lock my bike up. He was rather shocked when I tal…
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13 hours ago
Twitter
Bravo. Love the copy, layout, type...love that you didn't ask for permiss…
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13 hours ago
Twitter
This is what my last reference says:
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14 hours ago
Twitter
RT : This is why I fucking hate it when people tweet customer service Twitter accounts…
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14 hours ago
Twitter
RT : best one was a guy with a 74p bar of chocolate who, when later searched by police was carrying cok…
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14 hours ago
Twitter
RT : The character of a man can be told from how he treats those who he perceives to be beneath him.

I…
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14 hours ago
Twitter
RT : i work in a supermarket, we have new undercover store detective, he said yesterday, normally i dea…
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14 hours ago
Twitter
RT : Live from Brooklyn night arraignments: 16 y/o Arabic speaker working parttime at pawnshop approached by undercover…
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14 hours ago
Twitter
That’s fine. But deliberately and floridly giving a long fake name and laughing in the woman’s face? I…
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14 hours ago
Twitter
If you’re rude to service staff, I try to throw bad karma at you with a Paddington hard stare. It’s scummy and unfa…
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14 hours ago
Twitter
Bloke in Starbucks just told the barista his name was ‘Horatio’. It’s not. He just did it to make his idiot friend…
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14 hours ago
Twitter
RT : Inhouse is out. Outsource is in. 🏠👋Here’s 5 good reasons to consider using a creative agency.
marketing  outsource  from twitter
14 hours ago
Twitter
RT : When it comes to what kind of business you're running, it's battle of the bands. 🎸 Which tune does your company dan…
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14 hours ago
Twitter
Since Molly is currently being insanely funny on Twitter — as she does most days — I’m retweeting this.
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16 hours ago
Twitter
RT : I wonder what spurious claims were rejected before they settled on 'Red Bull Gives You Wings'?

'Red Bull Attaches…
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16 hours ago
Twitter
Not to me. Proof and evidence are nearly synonymous — if not exactly — and what he sees as ‘evidence’, I…
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16 hours ago
Twitter
“Do you know what I call semantics? Wank!” I hope I’m quoting Malcolm Tucker approximately correctly
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16 hours ago
Twitter
RT : When the robots become self-aware I’m pretty sure we should delete this footage of us beating the shit out of their…
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16 hours ago
Twitter
My niece won Australian who wants to be a millionaire!!! Not a million but enough for a…
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16 hours ago
Twitter
RT : 'And I dunno, *maybe* he's telling the truth...'

No, Brendan. He *is* telling the truth, as confi…
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16 hours ago
Twitter
RT : I respect his work ethic, which is and has long been genuine. But his writing is dire. Also - 'ang…
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16 hours ago
Twitter
That’s your interpretation. I don’t see it. The video is a bit of a political prism. I’m not a Momentum member or a…
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17 hours ago
Twitter
I would instruct libel lawyers if, as the leader of her majesty’s opposition, I had been accused of betraying my co…
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17 hours ago
Twitter
Actually , you don’t need to answer that since you’re proudly tweeting about Rod Liddle at the Palladi…
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17 hours ago
Twitter
The other joke I remember from my first set is:

My dad used to be homophobic but he’s quite open-mind…
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17 hours ago
Twitter
RT : A joke I wrote for a friend of mine: Michael Jackson was a Jehovah’s Witness. Which means he was…
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17 hours ago
Twitter
RT : OH GOD I THINK EVEN THE IMAGE IS THE PROPER ONE
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17 hours ago
Twitter
Hey do you feel proud to publish this kind of utter bilge? Particularly in a magazine that often publ…
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17 hours ago
Twitter
RT : The truth is that few women would find Rod Liddle or any other misogynistic Spectator 'contributors' attractive. Th…
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17 hours ago
Twitter
The other issue with that clip - alright, there are lots but let’s just focus on one - is Brendan attacking Corbyn…
from twitter
17 hours ago
Twitter
Only he didn’t. I’ve watched the video several times. He makes NO THREATS. I’ve had a lot of threats since I starte…
from twitter
17 hours ago
Twitter
How are you today?

The first joke I ever told onstage:

Michael Jackson likes to sing ‘I’m looking a…
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17 hours ago
Twitter
I heard that Rod Liddle’s act will be him defecating in his own hands before Brendan O’Neill eats it. They call it.…
from twitter
17 hours ago
Twitter
RT : 4. I just took my drivers test. I’m trying to figure out if it’s the pedestrian I hit That took the points off, or…
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17 hours ago
Twitter
RT : Point taken. So here - while everyone in the US sleeps - I’ll post some jokes I wrote in high school.

1. I went…
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17 hours ago
Twitter
RT : La Stupenda, Maria Callas, Renee Fleming, Jessye Norman, Kathleen Battle, Birgit Nilsson, Teresa Berganza, Elisabet…
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17 hours ago
Twitter
Here’s my first ad for — they didn’t commission me, I commissioned myself — for their upcoming campa…
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17 hours ago
Twitter
RT : You know, if you’re one of those people who tuts that you’ll be late when there’s an announcement that someone taki…
from twitter
18 hours ago
Twitter
RT : these kids are truly amazing. it is pure hope, the first amendment on display.
from twitter
19 hours ago
Twitter
I lost a couple of people to suicide this year and have lost nearly two handfuls since I was 16 (I’m now 34). Our s…
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19 hours ago
Twitter
I am lucky I am still here. I had a lot of different kinds of privilege that held me back from it but I thought of…
from twitter
19 hours ago
Twitter
Well, fuck this. It’s so toxic to think of certain food as sinning and other food as saintly. Read ’s la…
from twitter
19 hours ago
Twitter
Yeah. I’ve had friends who took their own lives that way. But do send me off hand shitty tweets about jokes. You sp…
from twitter
19 hours ago
Twitter
I see your thirsty Tinder match has opened his own shop. It sells pictures of him with a tiger.
from twitter
19 hours ago
Twitter
RT : Joni Mitchell. Neil Young. Roberta Flack. Stormzy. Nate Dogg. Dua Lipa. Tracey Thorn. David Bowie. Lindsay Bucking…
from twitter
20 hours ago
Twitter
I see your dad has opened a pub.
from twitter
20 hours ago
Twitter
RT : Anthony Bryan arrived in the UK when he was 8, has spent 50 years here. Home Office put in him in detention for 5 w…
from twitter
20 hours ago
Twitter
Poverty but with a cool startup name. PVRTY. And if you try really hard you can subscribe to PVRTY Pro.
from twitter
20 hours ago
Twitter
Andrew O’Neill chews Steve Baker into disgusting little pieces of meat. Williamson is the poor man’s Francis Urquar…
from twitter
20 hours ago
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