blottingtheink + type:angst   20

#26: catching stars to keep (the heavy heart remix) (for idyleski): kpop_ficmix
Jeon Jungkook is eighteen years, two hundred and one days, eighteen hours, thirty two minutes, and fifty five seconds old when he meets his soulmate.

|| A remix of that Jimin-doesn't-have-a-soulmate fic from Jungkook's POV, EVEN MORE FUCKING PAINFUL, but really good.
fandom:kpop  fandom:bts  author:staygame  pairing:jungkook/v  pairing:jimin/v  type:alternateuniverse  type:remix  type:soulbond  type:ouchmyheart  type:workingitout  type:whatwedotoeachother  type:angst  length:5-10k 
september 2015 by blottingtheink
curledupkitten - fic, 2013/01/09, exo, i of ii
"So. The asshole is here again," Jongdae says, as Joonmyun comes out of the staff-room, tucking his striped short-sleeved button-up into his jeans. "I nudged him toward table seven."

|| I don't know if I saved this already (or saved it on Ao3?? UNKNOWN), but I read this fic with my heart in my throat, and on my phone, and I think that's probably why it comes up unsaved. This is rough: Joonmyun is out only to himself, and there is a lot--A LOT--of angst, about his attraction to Chanyeol, his settling to a life of no love, his relationship with Chanyeol--and so forth. It's very well done, so it's painful not in that it's like, oh no, angst, but in that, at least for me, I think a lot of queer kids would recognize. Kind of fucked me up all day though, ngl.

I do think I've saved this before. Whatever, I'm saving both links.
fandom:exo  fandom:kpop  author:curledupkitten  pairing:suho/chanyeol  type:alternateuniverse  type:college  type:coffeeshopau  type:comingout  type:ouchmyheart  type:angst  type:longandsatisfying  length:40-50k 
november 2014 by blottingtheink
lovelyable: my kingdom for a horse [ fic ]
how to get over somebody, told backwards.

|| I read this accidentally at work, my hands over my mouth, as I tried desperately to finish it during the lunch hour. It's great, but like. Fuck you. But also it's really good. It takes heartbreak but it doesn't do the overselling that less subtle, graceful authors resort to. (But seriously fuck you.)
fandom:bigbang  fandom:kpop  author:lovelyable  pairing:gdragon/top  type:breakup  type:ouchmyheart  type:surviving  type:whatwedotoeachother  type:angst  length:1-5k 
october 2014 by blottingtheink
maayacola - KPop: Starts (GDragon/Seungri, R) [Masterpost]
And yeah, it definitely starts when Lee Seunghyun is sixteen.

|| Reading this felt like getting punched in the sternum repeatedly and with great force. This is Fucked Up Codependency--like HOLY SHIT, I was like GUYS STOP DOING THIS THIS IS SO UNHEALTHY--but I was actually fairly satisfied by the steps they both take, and as happy as I could be with the ending. I'm pretty sure I liked reading it. It's certainly deeply, deeply involving and well-written.
fandom:kpop  fandom:bigbang  author:maayacola  pairing:gdragon/seungri  type:oopsi'minlovewithyou  type:ouchmyheart  type:whatwedotoeachother  type:angst  type:broken  type:goddamnwearefuckedup  length:25-30k 
october 2014 by blottingtheink
we hid in catacombs - Chapter 1 - oflights - Hockey RPF [Archive of Our Own]
Sidney and Geno get together, break up, have sex, date other people, and get really into Pittsburgh sports. Just not necessarily in that order.

|| RUDE!!! RUDE AS FUCK. By which I mean, wow, I had to take a tumblr break in the middle of this, I had so many feelings, it's beautifully non-linear, and also no one is perfect. Thank god for the epilogue, though. Motherfucking OUCH.
fandom:hockeyrpffml  author:oflights  pairing:sidney/geno  type:canonexpansion  type:ouchmyheart  type:angst  type:whatwedotoeachother  type:longandsatisfying  length:20-25k 
january 2013 by blottingtheink
All The Colors You Thought Were Kings - Lindensphinx - Homestuck [Archive of Our Own]
Moonrise glitters dull on the sides of the ship that's gonna take you away.

On Ascension Night, the tyrianblood heiress must face her Empress in open challenge.
fandom:homestuck  author:lindensphinx  character:eridanampora  type:nosburb  type:wtfuckery  type:angst  type:broken  type:nothisishorrible  length:5-10k 
june 2012 by blottingtheink
Vriska Serket And The Raddest Movie Marathon Ever (the No Sun In My Sky remix) - roachpatrol - Homestuck [Archive of Our Own]
AG: May8e
AG: If you're not too freaked out 8y all the 8ad things I've done........
AG: Or the fact that I am an alien
AG: We could go on a d8? ::::O

OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO

OH NO

I--I--I--Okay, I am weak to Vriska Serket, yes, but also Weak As Hell to Bad People Who Aren't Really But Yes Also They Are--which this has in SPADES because roachpatrol wrote it. Also it does some really fantastic stuff with Terezi that I don't want to talk too much about because when I saw it my heart broke and I think at this point I'm typing to distract myself.
fandom:homestuck  author:roachpatrol  pairing:john/vriska  type:dreambubbles  type:surviving  type:ouchmyheart  type:angst  type:feeeeeeeelings  type:becausecharacterlove  length:1-5k 
march 2012 by blottingtheink
lock it up and leave - urbanAnchorite (t_ZM) - Homestuck [Archive of Our Own]
So John isn't mad when Dave says things like how's the Last Trollhican? because Dave Strider is also staggering under the weight of loss. Or when Rose says, John, you're spreading yourself too thin for nobody’s benefit, because Rose's first loyalty is always going to be to John. In another lifetime Rose Lalonde might have been sitting there calmly trying to fork Spaghetti-O's into Kanaya Maryam. But he's really grateful to Jade, sitting there hopefully with a bottle of Gatorade, ready to be tagged in when John tags out. John tries not to tag out too much.

No story should end like this. Every time he thinks about the unfairness of it, the unbelievable disgusting ugly unfairness, he wants to throw up.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ugly ugly sobs

I normally avoid angst like the plague--but all of the best fic in Homestuck is either AU or deals with the fact that it's, uh, actually about an Apocalypse, everybody's dying, and maybe it's the end.
fandom:homestuck  author:urbanAnchorite  pairing:john/karkat  type:ouchmyheart  type:apocalypse  type:angst  type:grief  type:justthisedgeofpainful  type:softly  type:surviving  type:heavyheartedandlookingup  warningtype:depression  warningtype:disorderedeating  length:1-5k 
december 2011 by blottingtheink
The Last Hearing Of Gamzee Makara - schellibie, urbanAnchorite (t_ZM) - Homestuck [Archive of Our Own]
It's a question of jurisdiction.

Oh my god. TEREZI MY LOVE KARKAT MY HEART, ugh ugh ugh.

If you like Homestuck, are caught up, read this. Read it read it read it it will flay you alive and it will be awful and perfect and awful and you should read it. (Warning: if you haven't read it, it may be kind of confusing, although followable, and entirely in second person.)
fandom:homestuck  author:schellibie  author:urbanAnchorite  pairing:terezi/gamzee(kismesis)  pairing:karkat/gamzee(moirail)  type:illustrated  type:awesome  type:characterization  type:ouchmyheart  type:knifeslidesin  type:bugscrawlingalloverme  type:angst  type:whatwedotoeachother  warningtype:characterdeath  length:16-20k 
november 2011 by blottingtheink
[Homestuck] Karkat: Lament - YouTube
KARKAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

(tagging, honestly, more for feels than for extraordinary editing. I just, UGH, I love him SO MUCH)
fandom:homestuck  author:alysoun  type:gen  type:vid  type:angst  type:ouchmyheart 
november 2011 by blottingtheink
postcardmystery: you've been acting awful tough lately
“You remember that time I wasn’t dead?” says Bucky, and Steve, not remotely ashamed about the fact that he’s crying, says, “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

“Feels awful familiar right about now, don’t it?” says Bucky, and Steve grabs him and holds on tight, says, “You have no idea.”

“I need a fuckin’ drink,” says Bucky, his voice breaking, and Steve says, “Whatever you like. Just never do that again, or I’ll kill you myself.”

“Promises, promises,” says Bucky, and Steve grips him tighter.

SO ABOUT THAT THING WHERE POSTCARD LIKES HEARTS, ESP. RIPPING THEM OUT
fandom:captainamerica  fandom:avengers  author:postcardmystery  pairing:steve/bucky  type:ouchmyheart  type:knifeslidesin  type:angst  type:beautiful  type:backfromthedead  type:backstory  type:wewerealwaysinlove  type:stylisticappreciation  length:5-10k 
october 2011 by blottingtheink
fuzzy_paint: masterpost: the other side (is always greener)
OH MY GOD the one where Eduardo is a merman and everything hurts. Holy fuck this is one for ice cream, a warm blanket, and quite possibly best done if snuggles are available after. Ignore the part where he's a MERMAN--think about what it would mean to have that divide, that isolation on both sides, now add a very terrifying and mysterious power system, Ariel's legacy, the inability to keep his skin on, and all the longing that has ever been longed. So fucking recommended. And the vid is NOT. TO. BE. MISSED. See below.
fandom:thesocialnetwork  author:fuzzy-paint  pairing:mark/eduardo  type:alternateuniverse  type:merpeople  type:supernatural  type:pining!  type:ouchmyheart  type:knifeslidesin  type:angst  type:whatwedotoeachother  type:backstory  type:worldbuilding  type:abouttheexecution 
october 2011 by blottingtheink
zarah5: Fic: Swim For Brighter Days (Danny/Steve)
Steve is turned on by boobs and soft skin, not by well-defined muscles or a tight ass, it has never been a problem so how dare Danny throw this at him, how dare he just kiss Steve as if he thinks Steve might welcome it, might return it when he can't, fucking can't.<br />
<br />
Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Develops, perhaps?, a tad quickly, given the intensity of Steve's response, but I believe this response much more than similar tropes I've read. Major spoilers for the end of the season.
fandom:hawaiifiveo  author:zarah  pairing:danny/steve  type:ouchmyheart  type:angst  type:comingout  type:firsttime  type:oopsi'minlovewithyou  type:workingitout  type:characterization  from delicious
june 2011 by blottingtheink
passe_simple: Shelter (Jesse/Andrew) 1/7
The one that is the kidfic of my HEART, with Hallie Eisenberg who is young, precocious, insecure, judgmental and difficult; where being poor is hard and Andrew is sometimes a jackass and Jesse is both to awkward, martyred and stubborn for his own good, but it does work out in the end.<br />
<br />
Basically, everyone is flawed and nothing hurts. (Eventually.)
fandom:thesocialnetwork  author:passe-simple  pairing:jesse/andrew  type:rps  type:alternateuniverse  type:contemporaryau  type:kidfic  type:angst  type:workingitout  type:socialawkwardness  from delicious
may 2011 by blottingtheink
tsn_kinkmeme: [PART SIX]
Eduardo thinks they're having hatesex--why does Mark seem to think they're making love?

I have mixed feelings about this. The situation is surprisingly believable most of the way through, and then I'm not convinced by the ending. I don't know how the anon could've finished it otherwise, though. It catches the feeling well enough.
fandom:thesocialnetwork  author:anon  pairing:mark/eduardo  type:smmmmmmmut  type:whatwedotoeachother  type:midtext  type:closetocanonau  type:angst  from delicious
may 2011 by blottingtheink
tsn_kinkmeme: [PART FOUR]
Mark programs an AI on his computer to act like Eduardo, maybe just to talk about work or something. Like, he needs to bounce ideas off someone and Eduardo was always good at that? But then he starts talking with the AI about his day and stuff, and the AI is based on Eduardo, so it tells Mark to stop working and go home already. And it goes on from there.<br />
<br />
More believable than the prompt would suggest; finely wrought and softly heart-breaking. Finished, with a softly hopeful ending.
fandom:thesocialnetwork  author:anon  pairing:mark/eduardo  type:ouchmyheart  type:whatwedotoeachother  type:posttext  type:angst  type:kinkmeme  from delicious
april 2011 by blottingtheink
jibrailis: Fic: The Curious Incident of Eduardo in the Night-Time
My favorite thing about this fandom is all the jagged edges that the movie makes us have to deal with--I don't think I've loved a broken canon this hard before. Anyway, jibralis does a FANTASTIC job getting inside Mark's head, and I love how angry and ridiculous and in love the boys are. <br />
<br />
Eduardo tries to break into Mark's house. Multiple times.
fandom:thesocialnetwork  author:jibrailis  pairing:mark/eduardo  type:posttext  type:workingitout  type:angst  type:characterization  type:whatwedotoeachother  from delicious
march 2011 by blottingtheink

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