bankbryan + friendship   188

What Do 90-Somethings Regret Most?
"The radical relationship-based orientation of all my subjects caught me by surprise. As someone entering the height of my career, I expend much more energy on work than on relationships. And when I imagine my future, I envision what I will have accomplished rather than the quality of my interactions with those who are most important to me. These 90-something-year-olds emphasize the opposite when they look back on their lives. Their joys and regrets have nothing to do with their careers, but with their parents, children, spouses, and friends. Put simply, when I asked one person, 'Do you wish you accomplished more?' He responded, 'No, I wished I loved more.'"
a:Lydia-Sohn  d:2018.07.11  w:1500  aging  love  sex  relationships  parenting  time  children  friendship  from instapaper
12 days ago by bankbryan
What Makes People the Most Happy
"People love sports, whether it be playing or watching, and they especially enjoy winning. As they say, 'Winning cures everything.' This dataset does not cover losing teams."
a:Nathan-Yau★★  p:FlowingData★★  d:2018.06.21  w:500  happiness  sports  family  friendship  work 
7 weeks ago by bankbryan
The Art of "Friendship"
"Most of the people nearing the 'my enemy' side of the spectrum can be described as 'annoying', 'lies a lot on social media about inconsequential things', or 'thinks Ellen is woke'. These are the people to maintain fake friendships with. It isn’t worth keeping it real with them. They don’t deserve a public dragging. Frankly, a lot of the times they don’t deserve a private talking to. They’re just people you have to coexist with and why bother letting them know exactly how you feel about them?"
a:Kady-Ruth-Ashcraft  p:The-Awl★★  d:2017.12.29  w:500  instructional  friendship  from instapaper
december 2017 by bankbryan
Kobe: Friends can come and go, but banners hang forever
"There was one teammate that was just so bad. He was so bad. It was a player that you guys won’t even remember if I said who his name was. I can’t even pronounce his name. It was some European kid. But he was really, really bad. I said, ‘Dude, you might want to reconsider what your life purpose is. Maybe it’s not this.’ It came out that way. I was like, maybe 20-something years old, I don’t know, really young. You know how you think one thing in your head, like, ‘I’m going to say this, and it’s going to sound like this.’ Then it comes out and it’s like, ‘Oh, shit. That’s not what it sounds like.' That is not how I envisioned it coming out. No, I meant, maybe you’re not reaching your highest potential by doing this. Maybe it’s something else."
a:Baxter-Holmes★  p:ESPN★★  d:2015.06.28  w:1500  friendship  NBA  from instapaper
september 2017 by bankbryan
Mallory Ortberg's Internet
"I was just like, 'We are going to be friends,' which is how a lot of my friendships start," she says. "I'll just inform someone we're going to be friends now. I've collected sufficient information. Friendship is going to happen now. Do you agree?"
a:Sarah-Scoles  p:VICE/Motherboard★  d:2017.06.13  w:4000  friendship  community  gender  from twitter
august 2017 by bankbryan
Instagram tests favorites, a major rethinking of private sharing
"Instagram is betting it can make its take on the friends list more successful by simplifying it. Unlike Facebook, you’ll have a single list to manage. Unlike Twitter, the list is private. And unlike any I’ve seen, Instagram’s list has visual flair. The green 'favorites' badge is a small thing, but it signals your affection to the friends of yours who see it, in a way that I suspect will build a sense of intimacy. Seeing a favorites post nestled in among all the other posts in your feed feels like a bonus."
a:Casey-Newton★★  p:The-Verge★  d:2017.06.23  w:500  Instagram  friendship  user-interface  from iphone
june 2017 by bankbryan
White Friend Confessional
"FRIEND OF COLOR: Who did you think you saw?
WHITE FRIEND: Constance Wu at Target.
FRIEND OF COLOR: We live in Topeka.
WHITE FRIEND: She could have been filming her show or something.
FRIEND OF COLOR: In Topeka? You know what, never mind. I was expecting it to be a lot worse.
WHITE FRIEND: Thank you. Also, that cashier looked just like her.
FRIEND OF COLOR: Are you talking about the cashier who’s in her mid-60s?
WHITE FRIEND: I don’t know. Don’t Asian people never age or something?
FRIEND OF COLOR: Explain the science on how that would work."
a:Mia-Mercado  p:McSweeney's★★★  d:2017.03.23  w:500  satire  race  friendship  from instapaper
march 2017 by bankbryan
A Very Chill Email to My 47 Gorgeous Bridesmaids
"If you regularly use medication I would prefer if you did not take it during my wedding weekend — for YOUR sake! I’m looking at you, Chelsea! I wanna make sure you can enjoy the champagne toasts and feel the full spectrum of your own emotions! PS, I am an amazing friend in so many ways but I will never go to the hospital with you, so please do not bother me with such disruptions."
a:Mitra-Jouhari★  p:McSweeney's★★★  d:2017.02.10  w:1000  satire  friendship  email  from instapaper
february 2017 by bankbryan
Application Requirements for Becoming Our Couple Friends
"Applicants should enjoy the outdoors, unless it is raining, in which case, they should enjoy Netflix documentaries about urban professionals who compete in high stakes chicken breeding competitions on weekends. Candidates should enjoy hiking until we are tired, and should have experience carrying our packs, setting up our tents, and resolving our marital disputes about trail directions. Interested couples should talk a big game about gender equality, but — if heterosexual — the woman should enjoy red wine and book clubs and the man should enjoy watching football in awkward silence. Both partners should enjoy looking at pictures of our dog."
a:CL-Mah  p:McSweeney's★★★  d:2017.02.06  w:500  satire  friendship  dogs  children  from instapaper
february 2017 by bankbryan
Lessons learned
"6. Never feel bad for dropping people from your life. Friends, family, whoever.
14. 'No' is a complete sentence.
44. Mallory Ortberg’s 'what an odd thing to say!' is the world’s best polite response to someone saying something insulting"
a:Elizabeth-Sampat  d:2016.12.31  w:2000  instructional  relationships  gender  family  children  parenting  friendship  dating  food  alcohol  sex  gay  transgender  travel  from iphone
january 2017 by bankbryan
Run the Jewels’ Universal Theory of Not Giving a Fuck
"KM: We’re Americans still. We’re not a fucking nation of pussies. We’re just not. We have endured the best and the worst from outside and in. We’ll be OK. White folks acting scared—I’m not used to white people acting scared, man. Got to turn it up. We got Russia to worry about.
El-P: Well, you know, I’m just going to rap a lot. I’m going to do a lot of rapping.
KM: We are an American cultural export to the world. You have nothing to worry about."
a:Jeff-Weiss  a:El-P  a:Killer-Mike  p:Pitchfork★★  d:2017.01.05  w:3500  interview  hip-hop  race  2016-election  friendship  Bernie-Sanders  politics  from twitter
january 2017 by bankbryan
KG, the Oral History, Part 2: Glory in Boston, Quirky Traits and Returning Home
"Glen 'Big Baby' Davis, Celtics forward, 2007-11: I think he goes down as one of the best leaders of all time, somebody that led by example, but also policed his teams and said what was right all the time, in spite of what other people think. You talk about a guy who made a sacrifice coming to Boston—his role changed, he was more of a defender. He was a guy that kind of facilitated and kept us all together.
Danny Ainge: Doc would harp on him every day, like, 'You gotta score more, you gotta shoot more. You gotta quit passing and you gotta shoot.' KG, it just wasn't in his nature. He was such a team guy, and he cared so much about his teammates, and he cared about the camaraderie and the unity of our team, and was greatly affected by people that went off the reservation."
a:Howard-Beck  p:Bleacher-Report★  d:2015.05.18  w:6000  oral-history  friendship  NBA 
january 2017 by bankbryan
The Power of Intention
"What kinds of problems arise in the profession?"
"Say there’s a guest at his favorite restaurant with his wife and his family for a birthday celebration on September 22. You accidentally made the reservation for the 23rd. That’s when I pick up the telephone and talk to the general manager. When you have those relationships, those connections, you can say, 'Okay, Kevin, I’m sorry, this is a complete disaster, we messed up. We need help.' That’s when it’s important to have built this incredible network of friendship that spans continents. You have a meaningful and powerful relationship with this person. I’m going to be there for them; they are also there for me. This is the basis of the concierge society. Concierges are friends. Our motto is 'service through friendship'. If I can do something for you in Argentina, you will do it for me in London."
a:Ryan-Healey  a:Corrado-Bogni  p:Lucky-Peach★★  d:2016.06  w:1000  interview  travel  restaurants  friendship  from instapaper
september 2016 by bankbryan
NBA High School: LeBron, Love, and the Team Chemistry Question
"I think it annoys LeBron that Love isn’t more sociable. Their relationship is fascinating, whatever the product on the court looks like. When has a player ever gone out of his way to name an opposing player the MVP? Love recently admitted he and LeBron were not 'best friends'. Coworkers rarely are. But playing in the NBA is a special job, and playing with LeBron seems to require participating in a special relationship."
p:Grantland/The-Triangle★  d:2015.03.27  w:1000  NBA  Cavs  LeBron-James  Kevin-Love  friendship  sports  a:Jason-Concepcion★★★  from instapaper
june 2016 by bankbryan
The Incredibly True Story of Renting a Friend in Tokyo
"When I learned that friendship is rentable in Tokyo, it merely seemed like more Japanese wackiness, in a subset I’d come to think of as interest-kitsch. Every day in Japan, it seems, some weird new appetite is identified and gratified. There are cats to rent, after all, used underwear to purchase, owls to pet at owl bars. Cuddle cafés exist for the uncuddled, goat cafés for the un-goated."
a:Chris-Colin  p:Afar  d:2016.02.19  w:3000  friendship  Japan  from twitter
june 2016 by bankbryan
How to Flake Out on Plans If You're Depressed
"The first time you cancel on someone, you don’t even really *need* an excuse. Regular people cancel all the time. Just say that you’ve double-booked, thusly suggesting you have more than one friend. The second time you cancel on someone, acknowl­edge that you can’t believe it’s happening again. What a world! Apologize but imply fate and circumstance are at fault. How you handle the third cancellation depends on your courage. If you feel the person has a wide sense of what’s possible, you might opt to treat it as a sort of hat trick by the gods."
a:Jacqueline-Novak  p:Jezebel★  d:2016.03.07  w:1000  instructional  depression  social-interaction  friendship  from twitter
march 2016 by bankbryan
Symmetrical Eyeliner and My Other Outlandish Fantasies
"I meet Donald Trump and give him such a nice, empathetic hug that he decides not to run for President. I help him wash the self-tanner off his face and he agrees not to speak in public anymore."
a:Monica-Heisey★★  p:VICE/Broadly★  d:2016.03.07  w:500  friendship  dogs  2016-election  Donald-Trump  from twitter
march 2016 by bankbryan
How to Make Friends (for INTPs)
"Several times, I've been approached by utterly wretched and lonely INTPs who have said, 'Siderea, I have realized I don't know how to make friends. I don't have any, and I'm lonely. How do I make friends?' And I, having learned that INTPs can be programmed much like computers, presented them with a handy friend-making algorithm."
a:Siderea★  p:Sibylla-Bostoniensis★  d:2006.09.30  w:500  instructional  process  friendship 
january 2016 by bankbryan
The Asshole Filter
"It's up to you what risks you want to run. The thing is, one's judgment works on a GIGO basis, so it's imperative that you don't try to convince yourself that making exceptions when someone is transgressive has no negative consequences, just so you feel good about deciding to do that. If you reckon with the possible negative consequences of letting a transgression slide, and you feel it's better than the alternative, and so that's what you chose, then you've made a good decision, meaning one you will probably be able to live with. I'm actually a big fan of making exceptions, and not being too rigid about rules. But then, I'm perhaps more willing than many to deal with people being transgressive. Part of that is, clearly, because I perceive transgressiveness as a thing. When somebody demonstrates transgressiveness, I am not beset by a vague feeling or inchoate intuition. I'm like, 'oh, hey, check out that person transgressing that boundary/rule/norm/etc. Let's see what other lines they cross.' It's the difference between hearing a buzzing in the room with you, and being able to see clearly for yourself whether it's a mosquito, fly, or wasp."
a:Siderea★  p:Sibylla-Bostoniensis★  d:2015.09.15  w:4500  instructional  social-interaction  society  relationships  friendship 
january 2016 by bankbryan
Can a Predator Really Be Friends With Its Prey?
"Studies have shown that geese and ducks raised together will view each other as members of the same family; kittens raised with baby rats would never harm them. If a relationship takes root early enough in an animal’s social development, it can overrule instinct or later learned behavior. (The San Diego Zoo assigns 'puppy buddies' to each of its cheetahs from birth, to help the cats learn to be more playful, and other zoos have similar programs.)"
a:Cari-Romm  p:The-Atlantic★★  d:2015.12.11  w:1000  animals  friendship  from twitter
december 2015 by bankbryan
How to Host an Easy Christmas Dinner
"I don’t want to count the number of years we’ve been doing it, for the same reason I try not to notice how much grayer I am every time I look in the mirror. The party has become an established stop for a certain subset of friends (i.e., nonbelievers and those with family in the immediate tri-state area who don’t expect them home until Christmas morning). Some bring their in-from-out-of-town family with them; some don’t see each other for the other 364 days of the year. There’s a lot of catching up to do. It is not the most ambitious of holiday meals; I think of it as an expensive tuna salad party for friends. But we do it anyway, to bring people together at a time of year when that’s a nice thing to do."
a:Peter-Meehan★★  p:Lucky-Peach★★  d:2015.12.10  w:1000  instructional  food  cooking  friendship  from iphone
december 2015 by bankbryan
Breaking the Mold
"When I was writing Singled Out, I was first starting to think about the kinds of arguments that single people come up against. What I found was that no matter what you do as a single person, there is some comeback that other people can use to undercut you. If they assume, 'Oh, you’re single, you must be promiscuous,' and you try to come back with, 'Oh no, I’m not at all,' then they’ll say, 'You poor thing, you don’t get any.' So part of the message I was trying to convey with Singled Out, and a lot of my writing since then, is: Don’t worry about what other people are going to say. If you try to construct your life in a way that bulletproofs you from these kinds of disapprovals, it’ll never work. So just resolve to live your best life, do what really is most fulfilling to you, and especially now, when there are so many opportunities."
a:Jessica-Gross  a:Bella-DePaulo  p:Longreads★★  d:2015.08  w:4000  interview  family  relationships  housing  community  happiness  friendship  deception  from instapaper
november 2015 by bankbryan
Episode 1: Friendship
“Our music is by Andrew Dost, and our theme song was written just for the show by the amazing band That Dog. Emotional support provided by Jack Antonoff, who was nice to me when I sobbed for four hours on New Year’s Eve when Jemima called me ‘trashy’ for inviting people to a restaurant and asking them to buy their own food.”
a:Lena-Dunham★★  p:Women-of-the-Hour★  d:2015.11.05  podcast  friendship  from twitter
november 2015 by bankbryan
How to Deal When Your Best Friend Gets Eaten Out More Than You
"Go easy on yourself. Firstly, it’s no one’s business but yours and God’s anyway how many times your boyfriend actually cunnilingles you. It’s not your fault that Steve’s last girlfriend had chronic yeast infections and now he’s gun-shy! But secondly, no one can really check up on it. So from now on, if Steve so much as glances at your edible arrangement, you can go ahead and put a W in the pussy eating column for yourself. Count it! Be the curator of your own sex narrative."
a:Sophia-Benoit  p:Reductress★★  d:2015.10.16  w:500  satire  sex  friendship 
october 2015 by bankbryan
Ask A Native New Yorker: Are New Yorkers Punctual?
"Einstein said 'People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.' This view is also adopted by many Buddhists, who believe that only the present moment has any reality, and that you die every second of every day. Unfortunately, telling your friends that as a Buddhist you deny the reality of time and therefore cannot be expected to arrive punctually for drinks will not earn you their esteem. I recommend at least pretending that time exists, for their benefit."
a:Jake-Dobkin★★  p:Gothamist★  d:2015.07.24  w:1000  instructional  etiquette  friendship  time  NYC  public-transit  from twitter
july 2015 by bankbryan
The Disapproval Matrix
"The general rule of thumb? When you receive negative feedback that falls into one of the top two quadrants—from experts or people who care about you who are engaging with and rationally critiquing your *work*—you should probably take their comments to heart. When you receive negative feedback that falls into the bottom two quadrants, you should just let it roll off your back and just keep doin’ you."
a:Ann-Friedman  p:Ann-Friedman  d:2013  w:500  visualization  instructional  work  friendship 
july 2015 by bankbryan
The Secrets Of Writing Smart, Long-form Articles That Go Absolutely Viral
"In spite of the public appetite for expertise, there's a value in being approachable, says Urban. 'I think part of the appeal of our articles is you can find gurus writing about this stuff and that has its own value, but I think what people like about our articles is it doesn't feel like they’re being written by a guru. It feels like they’re being written by their friend who just thought about this for 40 hours and are now discussing it with them at the dinner table. Because it's really no different from if I spent 40 hours thinking about why Gen Y is unhappy, for example, and then sat down with six friends at dinner, and I was like, Okay, I just spent 40 hours and here's my little theory. They'd all be really interested. They'd be listening and then they'd have their own opinion. That's all this is—a bigger version of telling my friends what I was just thinking about.'"
a:Michael-Grothaus  p:Fast-Company  d:2015.03.05  w:3000  web  friendship  writing 
june 2015 by bankbryan
Black Cards: All the Lies You Need to Love
"I had a friend who used to talk about 'black cards.' He described it as a little file folder of his honest feelings about people. I was in my twenties, and I said, 'Do you have a black card on me?' He said, 'Of course.' I said, 'What’s on it?' He said, 'Well if I told you, you wouldn’t be my friend anymore.'"
a:Amie-Barrodale  a:Clancy-Martin  p:Work-in-Progress  d:2015.02  w:2000  interview  relationships  ethics  friendship  deception 
may 2015 by bankbryan
Going Way Too Deep Down the Rabbit Hole With Nicki Minaj’s Recent Bar Mitzvah Appearance
"The easiest hand to figure out is the hand on Nicki’s waist, between her and Evan. That’s *definitely* Nate’s hand. More on Nate’s overall demeanor in a bit, but from Nate’s face, you know he has no issue putting his 13-year-old hand on Nicki’s waist. He’s here for it, as they say. The hand on Nicki’s shoulder is a bit more complicated. Just in terms of arm length, it can’t be Bradley. It could be Nate (and at first truly looks like it’s Nate), but his hand is already — confidently — on Nicki’s waist. Or you thought it was, until you really begin to focus on Evan. Evan complicates everything."
a:Rembert-Browne  p:Grantland/Hollywood-Prospectus★★  d:2015.04.27  w:2000  analysis  teens  friendship  photograph  Nicki-Minaj 
april 2015 by bankbryan
How My Little Pony Became a Cult for Grown Men and Preteen Girls Alike
"She mounted the stage and with trembling fingers read names off a scrap of paper, thanking a battalion of friends, colleagues, relations. And then, gathering herself, she looked straight at the camera. 'Friendship is magic,' she said, in a tone so neutral that an innocent viewer might be excused for imagining that this was some flaky-actress thing, a veiled shout-out to a Pilates instructor or comrades in a 12-step group. But 'Friendship Is Magic' is not only the subtitle of the Discovery Family cartoon, but also the reigning ethos of Equestria, the cartoon world where the ponies live — a Golden Rule as defining and incontrovertible as gravity. With three little words, Hall publicly pledged her allegiance to the Pony way and outed herself as a 'Pega­sister', an adult female devotee of Ponies; after the ceremony, she explained further and with the flavor of testimony that she had come across My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic by accident on Netflix and had been watching it for a year. Through My Little Pony she had started to love her friends more, and to be happier, and more grateful, in general; she credited her professional success to the inspiration of the ponies. In return, the Pony world recognized her as a kindred spirit, the way Christians do when the winning pitcher thanks Jesus at the end of a tough game."
a:Lisa-Miller  p:New-York-Magazine/The-Cut★  d:2014.11.06  w:3500  television  children  religion  friendship  from twitter
january 2015 by bankbryan
The Great Perils of Social Interaction
"I started using a new barber last year, and I was pleasantly surprised when instead of making small talk or asking me questions about my life, he just started talking to me like I was his friend or involving me in his conversations with the other barber. By doing so, he spared both of us the massive inauthenticity of a typical barber-customer relationship and I actually enjoy going there now. He doesn’t go by the above graph, but rather, sees things more like three doors that you can choose from. You’re not *required* to either smalltalk or pretend to want to get to know someone—it’s a choice to do either and you can choose 'Be Normal' instead. Unfortunately, the Social Rulebook doesn’t talk about being normal with acquaintances, only a bunch of chapters about how to survive the terror of an acquaintance interaction, authentic or not. We badly need to make a Rulebook amendment here—until we do, my barber relationship will be a rare one."
a:Tim-Urban★★★  p:Wait-But-Why★★★  d:2014.01  w:2000  list  social-interaction  friendship  work  from twitter
december 2014 by bankbryan
10 Types of Odd Friendships You're Probably Part Of
"Sure, you’ll make new friends in the future—at work, through your spouse, through your kids—but you won’t get to that Tier 1 brothers level, or even to Tier 2, with very many of them, because people who meet as adults don’t tend to get through the 100+ long, lazy hangouts needed to reach a bond of that strength. As time goes on, you start to realize that the 20-year frenzy of not-especially-thought-through haphazard friend-making you just did was the critical process of *you making most of your lifelong friends*. And since you matched up with most of them A) by circumstance, and B) before you really knew yourself yet, the result is that your Tier 1 and Tier 2 friends—those closest to you—fall in a very scattered way on what I’ll call the Does This Friendship Make Sense graph."
a:Tim-Urban★★★  p:Wait-But-Why★★★  d:2014.12  w:4000  list  friendship  conversation 
december 2014 by bankbryan
Ask Polly: Why Have All My Friends Disappeared?
"When I finally faced myself, I had to admit that a lot of my friends thought I was argumentative and defensive, and my good intentions didn't make that okay. If someone confronted me, I thought that meant I WAS BAD. No one had ever said, 'I REALLY don't like this behavior,' while making it clear they still liked me. When someone had a problem with me, I thought the choices were (a) admit that you're wrong and bad or (b) tell the other person that HE or SHE is wrong and bad. Someone does not always have to be bad! But this is the highest rule of law in the dysfunctional family: Let's figure out who is to blame for this! There are no misunderstandings. No one talks it out. No one confides and is comforted. Someone is always to blame. So listen to me closely: The fact that you have pure intentions is not enough. Everyone is 'a lover deep down' just like you. You need to recognize this in other people, instead of perceiving them all as enemies. Even if you know that continuing the relationship won't work, you still need to recognize this. And you need to change your behavior. You need to take apart years and years of carefully constructed defense mechanisms, until all of the gears and pulleys are scattered all over the floor. What you're doing — pushing people away, threatening to leave them without a car in the middle of nowhere, cutting them off, saying 'Fuck it, I don't care anymore anyway — these things don't serve you. They presume a world where you're the only one with good intentions, who wants to love and be loved. You aren't the only one. You need to recognize the softness in yourself and in other people, or no one will ever treat you with the softness you want."
a:Heather-Havrilesky★★  p:New-York-Magazine/The-Cut★  d:2014.10.15  w:3500  instructional  friendship  family  from instapaper
december 2014 by bankbryan
Friendship Is (Still) Countersignaling
"The weird thing is that this has actually made me kind of popular, a combination of people respecting my honesty and assuming that I’m covering up for some kind of super fascinating life I’m not telling them about. My thought is that being yourself is a form of countersignaling. If you are able to conspicuously not make any effort to impress your date, but still seem like an okay human being – like someone who knows they can afford to not impress their date, rather than someone who’s too unimpressive to impress them even when they’re trying – then being yourself is a pretty good strategy."
a:Scott-Alexander★★★  p:Slate-Star-Codex★★★  d:2014.08.09  w:500  friendship  social-interaction  dating  from iphone
november 2014 by bankbryan
Joan Rivers Always Knew She Was Funny
"I got bored to *death*. Nobody tells you the truth. I once asked one of the ladies, ‘Did you ever have an affair?’ And she stared at me like I was crazy. ‘Why would I tell you?’ she said. Another time, someone had just bought an apartment and I said, ‘How much?’ And she said, ‘That is really none of your business.’ And I thought, Fine. Then we are not friends and I don’t want to spend any more time with you. I was friendly with one couple who I no longer see at all. They would always say, ‘We’re such good friends.’ And then I found out that their daughter had a complete nervous breakdown. For a year, I was always told everything is wonderful. Well, then what are we wasting our time here at Elaine’s or Mortimer’s or Swifty’s? I don’t want to sit in Swifty’s and not say anything about anything. I just totally stepped away. Blaine Trump is one of the few people I am friends with out of that period. She’s honest. She will sit there and say, ‘Life is crap.’ All I want you to do, if we are sitting down and it’s after 6 p.m., is tell me the truth. Because we’ve all lied to each other all day long in business and we’ve all had these lunches and we’ve all ass-kissed to the point where I carry Chapstick. If I am going to sit down and eat with you, just tell me the truth and let me say to you, ‘Things are lousy and I’m sad.’"
a:Jonathan-Van-Meter  p:New-York-Magazine★★  d:2010.05.23  w:6500  profile  comedy  friendship  relationships  Joan-Rivers  from twitter
september 2014 by bankbryan
Rant against birthday dinners
"The fact that birthday dinners suck shouldn’t be anything new. Take a moment and try to remember a single time you left a BDD and thought, 'Man, that was incredible. I’ve *got* to do something like that for my birthday.' It’s not a great idea. It’s the worst idea. Please don’t. There are so many reasons why these things are the worst for hosts and guests alike. Here are a few. Bookmark them. Read them bimonthly and send them to your friends preemptively."
a:Anonymous  p:The-Bold-Italic  d:2014.07.16  w:1500  instructional  manifesto  friendship  social-interaction  from twitter
july 2014 by bankbryan
m'lady pokemons
"D-d-does m'lady like Water type Pokemons? M'lady? Charmed? Is this the friend zone?"
a:Drew-Fairweather★  a:Natalie-Dee  p:Married-to-the-Sea★★★  d:2014.02.26  comic  dating  friendship 
february 2014 by bankbryan
Ask A Native New Yorker: How Old Is Too Old To Have Roommates?
"In conclusion, only connect. Live with friends, with lovers, or with family. Anything is better than posh isolation! Don't pity the 40-year-old living with roommates: pity the 40-year-old living alone, feeling sad. N.B.: Some of you will probably disagree with this advice, as it goes against the prevailing (and I believe, destructive) character of America's 'stand alone' individualism. This is a good time to remember that New York is really a Dutch colony, founded on more collectivist values."
a:Jake-Dobkin★★  p:Gothamist★  d:2013.12.20  w:1000  instructional  housing  NYC  relationships  friendship  from twitter
december 2013 by bankbryan
Podcast Friends Forever: Roderick on the Line
"Roderick is the titular star of the podcast but Mann is the meticulous producer who lets the talent shine. He keeps a running record of talking points on his signature stack of notecards and asks the right questions to get Roderick on a roll. Roderick rollicks through tall tales of his roguish youth and world travels hiking from Amsterdam to Istanbul with a faulty North Face pack: encountering campfire spaghetti parties in the Czech Republic featuring ketchup instead of tomato sauce. Along with remembering the good ole days, there's also a healthy dose of despairing about the present and planning for the future."
a:Adrienne-Blaine  p:KQED  d:2013.10.20  w:1000  podcasts  Merlin-Mann  John-Roderick  friendship  conversation  from twitter
october 2013 by bankbryan
What facts about the United States do foreigners not believe until they come to America?
"When my husband moved here (to Canada) he was a Chilean living in Spain. When he first arrived, he couldn't believe how little we had to work for such money, and how we had the audacity to complain about being 'overworked.' He was surprised that he could make enough to pay bills, buy groceries, pay rent, and still afford a social life and luxuries like our xbox while working as a pizza chef. Back home, he was working 12-16 hour days 6 days a week, with an extra 6 hour shift on Sundays, and he was making half as much. He had to work 8 months (while living with his mother) to afford the ~$4000 that constituted his plane tickets and first two months living expenses. Now, he is lazy and entitled like the rest of us."
p:Quora★★  food  work  social-interaction  friendship  driving  United-States 
october 2013 by bankbryan
The Exercise of Authoritah
"In South Park, the only real member of Cartman’s entourage is the completely malleable Butters. Others mostly go along with his schemes because resistance is exhausting to the point of being futile. Cartman is not a natural leader. He ends up leading the gang most of the time primarily because he is prepared to expend prodigious amounts of energy to get his way. More energy than the others are willing to put into resisting him. But energy alone is not enough. Cartman is not the smartest of the gang, but he possesses social cunning, which manifests as an ability to manipulate the social realities of others. He is able to do this not because he understands social realities better (though that is sometimes the case), but because he *values* them less and is therefore more willing to damage them to get his way. What is sacred to others is not sacred to Cartman."
a:Venkat-Rao★★  p:Ribbonfarm★★  d:2013.09.12  w:3500  power  social-interaction  friendship  collecting  from twitter
september 2013 by bankbryan
How not to say the wrong thing
"When you are talking to a person in a ring smaller than yours, someone closer to the center of the crisis, the goal is to help. Listening is often more helpful than talking. But if you're going to open your mouth, ask yourself if what you are about to say is likely to provide comfort and support. If it isn't, don't say it. Don't, for example, give advice. People who are suffering from trauma don't need advice. They need comfort and support. So say, 'I'm sorry' or 'This must really be hard for you' or 'Can I bring you a pot roast?' Don't say, 'You should hear what happened to me' or 'Here's what I would do if I were you.' And don't say, 'This is really bringing me down.' If you want to scream or cry or complain, if you want to tell someone how shocked you are or how icky you feel, or whine about how it reminds you of all the terrible things that have happened to you lately, that's fine. It's a perfectly normal response. Just do it to someone in a bigger ring. Comfort IN, dump OUT."
a:Susan-Silk  a:Barry-Goldman  p:Los-Angeles-Times  d:2013.04.07  w:1000  instructional  friendship  from twitter
august 2013 by bankbryan
Gentlemen, Gentlemen, Be of Good Cheer, for They Are Out There, and We Are in Here
"The youngest and newest member, Jeremy Arnold, is a film historian and writer. He's been admitted to Manly Night for only a year or so, after spending ten years in the less-exclusive Movie Nights' farm club — Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays — and he still walks around with a bemused smile, as though he's not quite sure how he ended up here or doesn't believe he has. All these men somehow drifted into Hefner's orbit, and for whatever reason he decided to snare them, the way a planet collects satellites. Now they will never escape his gravity. They will never try."
a:Chris-Jones★★  a:Hugh-Hefner  p:Esquire★★  d:2013.03.25  w:9500  interview  film  process  friendship  collecting  love  relationships  death  history  future  from twitter
july 2013 by bankbryan
What Do You Desire?
"I took the train across the Bay to Oakland for a quiet dinner with several anarchists, to talk about anarchist ideas of sexuality. They all wore black and spoke of their decisions with a seriousness that my friends in New York might have had derided. The anarchists cooked kale and dressed their pasta with cashew pesto from a jar. Oakland’s soft summer warmth came as a welcome relief from San Francisco’s miserable microclimates. We dined with the windows open and the evening sun flooding into an apartment lined with books. In another part of Oakland I met with a radical queer activist who had a platonic partner, a sexual partner, and a rotating cast of people with whom she 'played.' (The really tough part, she admitted, was the scheduling.) I asked if her platonic partner was not just her roommate, or a friend, but she explained that it involved a deeper commitment: going to holidays at each other’s family homes, caring for each other when sick—everything expected of a husband or wife except for the sex. It wasn’t any easier than marriage, either: they were in couples’ therapy."
a:Emily-Witt★  p:n+1★  d:2013.05.06  w:9000  sex  pornography  relationships  friendship  San-Francisco  from instapaper
july 2013 by bankbryan
The Best Sitcom of the Past 30 Years, Round One: Friends vs. The Golden Girls
"Since Friends ended its ten-season run in 2004, audiences have been treated to/tortured by one clone after another. (The treats are the British Coupling and Happy Endings, and that’s it). But before we lived in a world where there were dozens of shows just like Friends, there was Friends, which was a show sort of like The Golden Girls. The latter finished its seven seasons in 1992, just two years before Friends began. Based solely on the clothes, you would think they had been separated by a decade, but they do share a major theme: What happens when a group of strangers, a few with blood ties, devote their lives to one another and become family, not because they have to, but because they want to."
a:Willa-Paskin  p:Vulture★★  d:2013.02.28  w:2000  friendship  family  television  Friends-TV  from instapaper
july 2013 by bankbryan
The Economics of Social Status
"One-off transactions (like a favor) usually take place within the context of a relationship. Different types of relationships can be viewed as primitive ‘contracts.’ Friendship, for example, is a contract whose terms specify that the two friends are roughly equal in status (at least within the frame of the relationship) and that they’ve agreed to dispense with fine-grained accounting of every status transaction. In Impro, Keith Johnstone says of friends that they are 'people who agree to play status games together.' The emphasis here is on *games* – friends play status for fun rather than for keeps. Other types of relationships (manager/subordinate, mentor/mentee, partnerships, client/vendor, etc.) set different terms for how status is to be transacted between the parties."
a:Kevin-Simler★★  p:Ribbonfarm★★  d:2013.05.01  w:5000  economics  social-interaction  work  friendship  money  community  politics  from instapaper
july 2013 by bankbryan
I Know What You Think of Me
"I’ve often thought that the single most devastating cyberattack a diabolical and anarchic mind could design would not be on the military or financial sector but simply to simultaneously make every e-mail and text ever sent universally public. It would be like suddenly subtracting the strong nuclear force from the universe; the fabric of society would instantly evaporate, every marriage, friendship and business partnership dissolved. Civilization, which is held together by a fragile web of tactful phrasing, polite omissions and white lies, would collapse in an apocalypse of bitter recriminations and weeping, breakups and fistfights, divorces and bankruptcies, scandals and resignations, blood feuds, litigation, wholesale slaughter in the streets and lingering ill will."
a:Tim-Kreider★★  p:The-New-York-Times/Opinionator★  d:2013.06.15  w:1000  email  friendship  relationships  from twitter
june 2013 by bankbryan
Can You Be Quiet Now?
"I’m surrounded by dive bars that make nice cocktails. No one goes to them during the week. Sometimes I outline my essays with a gin and tonic and my writing notebook. No one bats an eye. But also, there is no one there to say anything to you. Men usually occupy space at the bar, they are alone but not afraid to start a conversation with a stranger next to them. These trips to the bar alone for me are not in pursuit of friendships. Those men feel lonely to me in a way that I could never be publicly, even through my writing. When I go, I go alone and stay alone. I don’t pursue other people. I am there to fulfill a need. I am there to fill a hole that can not be filled inside of my office, my bedroom, or underneath the covers."
a:Brittany-Julious  p:This-Recording★  d:2013.04.03  w:1500  social-interaction  Chicago  cities  music  friendship  from instapaper
june 2013 by bankbryan
times have changed
"Times have changed, Harry... Used to be you could go out on a nice canoe trip with your buddy and get your hog cranked off, no big deal. It was like a handshake back then."
a:Drew-Fairweather★  a:Natalie-Dee  p:Married-to-the-Sea★★★  d:2013.04.18  comic  sex  friendship 
april 2013 by bankbryan
God Needs a Hobby
"Maybe not surprisingly, as the tour wears on, more and more episodes go online without any edits at all, and when Harmon and Marshall edit the Portland episode on the bus ride home from San Francisco to L.A., the editing process consists of Marshall playing the raw audio from his laptop through the bus stereo and everybody listening to it and laughing at the funny parts, exactly as you the podcast listener will at home. The only episode from the tour that was heavily edited for content was Nashville, where Harmon drank moonshine onstage, descended into alcoholic delirium, and led the audience in a 'We're Going on a Bear Hunt' sing-along."
a:Alex-Pappademas★  p:Grantland★★  d:2013.02.12  w:10000  profile  Community-TV  television  comedy  alcohol  sex  podcasts  relationships  friendship  from instapaper
march 2013 by bankbryan
10 (and a Half) Things I Wish I Knew Before Moving to Miami
"There’s a scene in Will Smith’s Miami video where two chicks are in a convertible, and one of them is Eva Mendes, and they’re all 'Bienvenido a Miami' while the camera pans out and they’re driving over a causeway. I drive that causeway to my co-working space. Then there’s the scene where Will Smith’s posse is walking in front of a bunch of art deco hotels, and then you realize that’s two blocks from my house. There are Brazilian models, Italian families of five arguing with their hands outside of the Starbucks where you buy your morning coffee and a Russian girl who nearly pushes you aside because she can and she’s wearing a fur coat because it’s 70 degrees and when else is she going to wear fur? You get surrounded by so much ridiculousness that your baseline for what is low key gets completely screwed and you think yourself, 'well, I can wear these white shorts, because it’s not as ridiculous as that German guy who is on the corner over there with his mesh top and the magenta hot pants.' And then your friends back home see your photos on Facebook and they’re all, 'that asshole, he’s changed so much already.'"
a:Ernie-Hsiung★  p:Little-Yellow-Different★  d:2013.02.04  w:3500  list  Florida  weather  language  Jews  government  friendship  clothing  from instapaper
march 2013 by bankbryan
The Myth of Universal Love
"Cultivating loyalty is no small thing. George Orwell, for example, considered preferential loyalty to be the 'essence of being human.' Critiquing Gandhi’s recommendation — that we must have no close friendships or exclusive loves because these will introduce loyalty and favoritism, preventing us from loving everyone equally — Orwell retorted that 'the essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection, that one is sometimes willing to commit sins for the sake of loyalty … and that one is prepared in the end to be defeated and broken up by life, which is the inevitable price of fastening one’s love upon other human individuals.' In general we have circles of favorites (family, friends, allies) and we mutually protect one another, even when such devotion disadvantages us personally. But the interesting thing about loyalty is that it ignores both merit-based fairness and equality-based fairness. It’s not premised on optimal conditions. You need to have my back, even when I’m sometimes wrong. You need to have my back, even when I sometimes screw up the job. And I have to extend the same loyalty to you. That kind of pro-social risky virtue happens more among favorites."
a:Stephen-T-Asma  p:The-New-York-Times/Opinionator★  d:2013.01.05  w:2500  love  family  friendship  ethics  from instapaper
february 2013 by bankbryan
Ben Affleck Nominated For Best Friend Of Matt Damon
"'I think a win has to be considered something of a long shot, but I already won this award back in ’97, so it’s really just nice to be recognized this time out.' At press time, Hollywood insiders reported Affleck is expected to lose the Best Friend of Matt Damon award to actor John Krasinski."
p:The-Onion★★  d:2013.01.10  satire  acting  friendship  from twitter
january 2013 by bankbryan
Five Geek Social Fallacies
"Less commonly, people form a sort of counter-fallacy which I call 'Your Feelings, Your Problem'. YFYP carriers deal with other people's fallacies by ignoring them entirely, in the process acquiring a reputation for being charmingly tactless. Carriers tend to receive a sort of exemption from the usual standards: 'that's just Dana', and so on. YFYP has its own problems, but if you would rather be an asshole than angstful, it may be the way to go. It's also remarkably easy to pull off in a GSF1-rich environment."
a:Michael-Suileabhain-Wilson  p:Plausibly-Deniable  d:2003.12.02  w:2000  analysis  list  social-interaction  friendship  from instapaper
january 2013 by bankbryan
The Style Guy's Guide to Friendship, Schmoozing, and Social Advancement
"Breaking Up With Friends: Sometimes we grow apart and that old mutual magic doesn't work. Usually it's best to drift apart, avoiding all forms of drama, but when the alienatee is the dramatic sort or a psychopath, this can prove difficult. Drifting apart is nature's way. We can still be fond of that old high school chum, but that doesn't mean we have to keep in touch. (One of the worst effects of the social networks is the past suddenly rearing it's now-less-attractive head.) I find that it's best not to explain your course of action as it will only serve to heighten the emotions occasioned by rejection. Even if you wanted to you cannot always explain why a friendship no longer works. It's best to just chill out and stay cool. Explain how busy you are, if necessary, and then be unavailable. If and when confronted deny, deny, deny."
a:Glenn-O'Brien  p:GQ★★  d:2011.04  w:5500  list  instructional  friendship  social-interaction  relationships  clothing  alcohol  family  from instapaper
january 2013 by bankbryan
Tim Cook’s Freshman Year: The Apple CEO Speaks
"He said, 'There has never been a professional transition at the CEO level in Apple.' He said, 'Our company has done a lot of great things, but has never done this one.' The last guy is always fired, and then somebody new comes in. And he goes, 'I want there to be a professional CEO transition, and I have decided, and I am recommending to the board that you be the CEO, and I’m going to be the chairman.' I asked him about different scenarios to understand how he wanted to be involved as chairman. He said, 'I want to make this clear. I saw what happened when Walt Disney passed away. People looked around, and they kept asking what Walt would have done.' He goes, 'The business was paralyzed, and people just sat around in meetings and talked about what Walt would have done.' He goes, 'I never want you to ask what I would have done. Just do what’s right.' He was very clear."
a:Josh-Tyrangiel  a:Tim-Cook★  p:Bloomberg-Businessweek★★  d:2012.12.06  w:8500  interview  Apple  leadership  friendship  transparency  innovation  iPad  Jony-Ive  from instapaper
january 2013 by bankbryan
I WOULD BE PRETTY YELLOW ONES
"YOU’RE MY BEST FRIEND. I LOVE FLOWERS AND TEQUILA AND THE WAY YOUR BACK SMELLS."
a:Justin-Valmassoi★★  p:Animals-Talking-in-All-Caps★★  friendship  alcohol 
october 2012 by bankbryan
Library Cards
"Macdonald Hall’s occupants are endlessly exonerated for their pranks and mistakes, and within my sibling structure I, too, was taught that pardons were not so hard to come by. With my brothers, cruel words could eventually be unsaid without apology, and it was a long time before I learned that this was not how things worked outside of our trio, that with other people in your orbit the damage cannot so easily be undone. But the flipside of a bond tight enough that forgiveness remained unspoken was the thrill of our assembly, what Tolstoy calls 'the exceptional feeling that life was possible only in each other’s presence.' When you read about Bruno and Boots, you imagine this is how they also feel, the warmth of their mutual pleasure emanating off the page."
a:Lucy-Morris★  p:This-Recording★  d:2012.08.13  w:1000  children  friendship  from instapaper
october 2012 by bankbryan
Jane Pratt’s Perpetual Adolescence: Why She’s Still Talking Teen Three Decades After Sassy
“Pratt foresaw ‘the beginning of the Facebooking of our culture, the dawn of the age of oversharing,” says Bill Van Parys, executive editor of Jane, Pratt’s bit-more-grown-up second magazine, which she started in 1997. Van Parys describes Pratt’s editing technique as the opposite of what a traditional news edit goes for. ‘She was always interested in the emotions and the insecurities,’ he says. And ‘she was also willing to do something that was totally wrong.’ They put a cover line on Jane that said, based on a study mentioned in that issue: ‘Yet another reason to not give up smoking: You could get acne!’ he remembers. ‘We were eaten alive.’ As another ex-Jane staffer put it, ‘She understands and accepts you being crazy because she is crazy. And that makes you feel close to her.’”
a:Carl-Swanson  p:New-York-Magazine/The-Cut★  d:2012.08.14  w:3500  media  friendship  recreational-drugs  from twitter
october 2012 by bankbryan
My dog: the paradox
"He is my best friend and I am his but he will go to his grave never having known my name."
a:Matthew-Inman★★  p:The-Oatmeal★★  d:2012.09.18  comic  dogs  friendship 
september 2012 by bankbryan
The Unbearable Awkwardness of Being
"The bubble (believing S.H.H.S. and its inhabitants make up the entire universe) may be *the* major cause of both pleasure and pain in high school. On one hand, it makes every tiny good thing that happens—every party, every note passed, every glance, every touchdown—feel important and thrilling. On the other hand, Columbine doesn’t happen without it. Things in adult life don’t matter like they did in high school, for better or worse. And when I say I miss high school, that’s what I’m talking about."
a:Devin-Friedman★  p:GQ★★  d:2006.11  w:7500  teens  social-interaction  community  friendship 
september 2012 by bankbryan
Most lives are lived by default
"Making a major change in just one of these areas will necessarily make a major change in the feel and quality of your day-to-day life. It simply can’t stay the same. It might get better, or it might get worse. You don’t know until the change is made. This uncertainty is enough to keep most people from bothering. But they should bother, as a rule. Day to day life is more likely to get better than worse, because a deliberate change gives you a chance to see if your new situation resonates with you or not, and gives you a second angle of the old one. If the new situation does resonate, then you’re closer to finding what’s right for you, what’s optimal for your sense of well-being. If it doesn’t resonate with you, then you have more perspective about what it is that you already do that you like so much. Your values become clearer, and you gravitate toward them more strongly. If you leave the countryside for the city and hate it, then you’ve definitely learned more about what it is about the countryside that really does something for you. That’s progress. That’s getting closer to what you want."
a:David-Cain★★  p:Raptitude.com★★  d:2012.07.16  w:2000  instructional  work  relationships  friendship 
august 2012 by bankbryan
Dances With Something (part 1)
"For a long time I had a theory that if the three central components of your daily life are your job, friends, and romantic preoccupations, you are allowed to fuck up at one of the three at a time. If you are happy with your community and how you spend your days, it’s okay to act impulsively in love. If your relationships of all kinds are fairly stable, you are permitted some imprudence with work. I am not by nature a reckless person. But I found that recklessness can be learned, and it’s useful to experiment with it from time to time, to see what it’s like, to see what might happen. If you’re interested in parting with some portion of your sense of responsibility, there is no better place to do so than this."
a:Lucy-Morris★  p:This-Recording★  d:2012.07.03  w:1500  NYC  relationships  work  friendship  memory  clothing  food 
august 2012 by bankbryan
The Chick Fellatio: stuck in the craw
"There are times in your life when you have the opportunity to stand up for your friends. When you let that opportunity pass, your friends notice. It doesn’t mean we can’t be friends, but it diminishes you, and it diminishes the friendship. That’s how it is, no matter what the issue or what the venue."
a:Wayne-Self★  p:Owldolatrous  d:2012.07.30  w:2000  gay  gay-marriage  friendship  Facebook  food  from twitter
august 2012 by bankbryan
The VICE Guide to Dating Rich Girls
"You have nothing to offer a rich girl other than being slightly less fortunate than they are, so wave your pedestrian lifestyle around as though it was an alternative lifestyle choice. You've gotta play it like Basquiat or Leo in Titanic; wear fingerless gloves, squint a lot, and say things like 'Mister, I meet a lotta people with money, but whadda they got to show for it?' Obviously saying something like that while looking another human being in the eye with a straight face is gonna be pretty difficult, but you'll get used to it. Just bear in mind her entire concept of rebellion will be gleaned from Dickens novels and James Franco's Twitter."
p:VICE★★  d:2012.06.21  w:1500  instructional  dating  class  sex  friendship  family  recreational-drugs 
august 2012 by bankbryan
The Fall of the Creative Class
"Life is totally clear cut. It’s exactly what the research is. All the research says go live with your friends and fam­ily. Oth­er­wise, you have to look at why you’re not doing that. If you want to look at a city that’s best for your career, it’s New York, San Fran­cisco or Lon­don. If you’re not look­ing for your career, it doesn’t really matter. There’s no dif­fer­ence. It’s split­ting hairs. The whole conversa­tion about where to live is bullshit."
a:Frank-Bures★  p:thirty-two  d:2012.06  w:4000  economics  housing  cities  creativity  gay  friendship  family 
july 2012 by bankbryan
An Interview with Paul Ford and Gina Trapani
"I don’t really make decisions. Instead, I pick my friends carefully. Then I go where people ask me to go; when no one needs me to go anywhere or do anything I work on longer essays that I’ll publish some day."
a:Brett-Bonfield  a:Paul-Ford★★★  a:Gina-Trapani  p:In-the-Library-with-the-Lead-Pipe  d:2012.06.13  w:2500  interview  writing  journalism  friendship 
july 2012 by bankbryan
With Friends Like These
"The miracle is the casting. Having been on the other side of it now in terms of directing and producing, to find one magical actor who is just right for the role is difficult enough, but to find six and then to have them actually *have chemistry* with each other is just kind of a miracle. I think we were just lucky. I looked at the five of them, I watched their work, and I thought, Everyone is just so talented and perfect for their character. And they grew into their characters and enriched them and deepened them."
a:Warren-Littlefield  p:Vanity-Fair★★  d:2012.04.04  w:9000  television  friendship  relationships  oral-history  acting  Seinfeld  sex 
june 2012 by bankbryan
Author Adam Levin and Porn Star Kayden Kross in Conversation (Part I).
"I think the main things that keep coming up in my work—the things that I end up writing about without realizing it till whatever I’m working on is finished or nearly finished—are the ways people make sense of who they’re friends with, and the ways they make sense of their behavior with and toward those they consider their friends, and the game ended up being about a certain type of three-way friendship that I think a lot of people have experienced at one time or another, if not multiple times, as much as it ended up being about the game and how the damage to girls that the game presumes to repair is damage to which the game itself contributes. Meow meow meow, etc."
a:Adam-Levin★  a:Kayden-Kross  p:McSweeney's★★★  d:2012.04.02  w:5500  interview  religion  writing  psychology  reading  friendship  ideas  flow  from twitter
may 2012 by bankbryan
But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship Where I Ask You To Do Things And You Do Them
"It's just…you're like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you've spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me."
a:Kimberly-Pruitt★  p:The-Onion★★  d:2009.06.09  w:500  satire  dating  relationships  friendship  sex 
april 2012 by bankbryan
Rules of Palship
"(12). We must tell each other what we think about the other's appearance or behaviour.
(13). We must go straight to one another in case of mischief being made and believe NOTHING unless it comes from the other's own lips.
(14). NO ONE, not even our Parents, may keep us from one another.
(15). If any other rules are formed or thought of, the must be added (with the consent of both) at the end of this document.
(16). NO OTHER PERSON may be admitted into our PALSHIP or SECRETS."
a:Noël-Coward  a:Esmé-Wynne  p:Lists-of-Note★  d:1915.08.11  w:500  list  friendship  religion  contracts 
april 2012 by bankbryan
Surprised to see me
"When I quit drinking, I hoped the pounds would melt away. But I had swapped imported beer for peanut-butter-chocolate ice cream and pasta with cream sauce. Four months into sobriety, I was at the hairstylist in Brooklyn, seated in that hateful little chair where you are forced to look at yourself speak in a full-length mirror (I despise that chair!) when my self-loathing became radioactive. There I was, getting pampered in my fancy first-world way, but what I thought was: 'I am going to have to lose weight, or I am going to rip off my own face.' *Those were the words that formed in my brain.* I knew drinking had kept me from losing weight. I did not realize, until that moment, how it had buffered me from the misery I felt about it."
a:Sarah-Hepola★  p:Salon★  d:2012.03.25  w:2000  food  alcohol  conversation  friendship 
march 2012 by bankbryan
Interview: Bill Lawrence
"I couldn’t get a passion project of mine sold. With my track record, I couldn’t go to the networks and say, 'This is a project I’m passionate about.' Because it wasn’t hooky enough. It was just about a father and a son. So a room bit started where I said, 'You know what sucks? I can’t sell my passion project. But if I go to [ABC President] Steve McPherson right now and said'—and this was just off the top of my head—'"I’ve got a Courteney Cox comedy, she just got divorced, she never had her 20s, and she’s gonna fuck younger guys, and it’s called Cougar Town," I could sell that without doing any more work than I just did.' And it became a joke in the writers’ room, where instead of having cuts between scenes, a claw would just rip it. Just rip the image right off the television."
a:Bill-Lawrence  a:Ryan-McGee  p:The-AV-Club★★  d:2012.02.14  w:7500  television  Cougar-Town  comedy  interview  friendship  writing  relationships  Twitter  future  Community-TV 
march 2012 by bankbryan
On the Meaning of Life
"Next to agreeable work as a means of attaining happiness I put what Huxley called the domestic affections—the day to day intercourse with family and friends. My home has seen bitter sorrow, but it has never seen any serious disputes, and it has never seen poverty. I was completely happy with my mother and sister, and I am completely happy with my wife. Most of the men I commonly associate with are friends of very old standing. I have known some of them for more than thirty years. I seldom see anyone, intimately, whom I have known for less than ten years. These friends delight me. I turn to them when work is done with unfailing eagerness. We have the same general tastes, and see the world much alike. Most of them are interestd in music, as I am. It has given me more pleasure in this life than any external thing. I love it more every year."
a:H-L-Mencken  p:Letters-of-Note★★  d:1931  w:1500  family  friendship  religion  letter  writing  work  happiness  death 
february 2012 by bankbryan
Ski Weekend Day!
"'Awwwww God sometimes I wonder if I ever felt a single thing, you’ll scream as soon as you get inside the cabin, just before placing your suitcase on the ground. 'Jesus,' Jeff will say. 'Dude, are you all right?' Maurice will ask, hovering over you as you lay on your back with your legs up in the air like a baby. 'I need to be swaddled! I need to be swaddled in your friendship!'"
a:Bob-Powers★★  p:Girls-Are-Pretty★  d:2012.01.19  w:500  story  friendship  love  skiing 
february 2012 by bankbryan
Solitude and Leadership
"You can just as easily consider this lecture to be about concentration as about solitude. Think about what the word means. It means gathering yourself together into a single point rather than letting yourself be dispersed everywhere into a cloud of electronic and social input. It seems to me that Facebook and Twitter and YouTube—and just so you don’t think this is a generational thing, TV and radio and magazines and even newspapers, too—are all ultimately just an elaborate excuse to run away from yourself. To avoid the difficult and troubling questions that being human throws in your way. Am I doing the right thing with my life? Do I believe the things I was taught as a child? What do the words I live by—words like duty, honor, and country—really mean? Am I happy?"
a:William-Deresiewicz  p:The-American-Scholar★  d:2009.10  w:6000  leadership  speech  education  bureaucracy  Iraq  writing  conversation  friendship  ethics  solitude 
january 2012 by bankbryan
Stumptown Girl
"Armisen and Brownstein text each other every night before bed. Brownstein says of their friendship, 'Sometimes I think it's the most successful love affair either of us will ever have.' Both claim that it wouldn't work if they were romantically involved. 'It would be colder, because we've both treated our romantic relationships in a cold way,' Armisen says. 'Carrie and I are more romantic than any other romantic relationship I've ever had—that sense of anticipation about seeing the other person, the secret bond. But things don't become obligatory. I'm not thinking, I'm doing this because you're my girlfriend; I'm just thinking, I love Carrie.' Two of the main characters on 'Portlandia' are named Fred and Carrie; they have an ambiguous joined-at-the-hip relationship. The show's production designer, Tyler B. Robinson, has proposed that, at some point, they be shown waking up in the same room, in twin beds, with their names above them. 'It'd be very Bert and Ernie,' Brownstein said, adding that if, in real life, 'Fred said to me, "I"m going to move into your house, and sleep in the same room, in twin beds," I'd be, like, "Sure!"'"
a:Margaret-Talbot  p:The-New-Yorker★★  d:2012.01.02  w:5500  Carrie-Brownstein  Fred-Armisen  friendship  relationships  hipsters  Portlandia  music 
january 2012 by bankbryan
Ep. 16: "Cotton Candy Pink Poofy La-La"
"There's a part of me that likes to take relationships up to the edge... to see what they're made of."
"I think that's starting to become clear."
a:John-Roderick★★★  a:Merlin-Mann★★★  p:Roderick-on-the-Line★★★  d:2012.01.05  podcast  friendship  relationships  from twitter
january 2012 by bankbryan
The sad, strange and sweet voyage of Bombadil
"That unexpected return to the stage was a fitting public introduction to the band that had just self-recorded and self-mixed Promises. The least grand thing Bombadil has done since the 2006 EP, it's largely void of the vaulting ambition and ostentatious arrangements of A Buzz, A Buzz and Tarpits and Canyonlands. Not only did Bombadil make it in a hurry, but, for the first time, they produced it themselves. There's a certain honest simplicity to Promises that, for the first time, emphasizes the inherently bittersweet nature of Bombadil's music. The sounds here support songs about self-doubt and worry for the future, about trying to confess a crush and trying to keep domestic life romantic. It's not their best album, not by a long shot, but it is the very honest work of a band that's survived too much to spare the truth. 'We've always been trying to find that balance between joyousness and sadness. Life is very comic but also very tragic,' says Michalak, looking up from the crumbs on the kitchen table. 'We've all tried to be happy, positive people, but we've also seen and experienced tragic, sad things around us. Am I making sense at all?'"
a:Grayson-Currin  p:Indy-Week  d:2011.11.09  w:5000  music  friendship  travel  The-Avett-Brothers  Bombadil  health 
january 2012 by bankbryan
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