Techniques and Procedures to Master the Rear Brake | Cycle World
In my priority scale, these rear-brake mods to increase feel and decrease power are second on my must-do list, after fitting capable tires.
13 days ago
#1094: How do I answer the “what are you looking for in a relationship” question when I’m not sure I know? | Captain Awkward
So, what if you used this question as a way to fantasize about the kind of person you are attracted to and compatible with rather than to define the kind of relationship you want esp. as you’re just getting to know someone?
ca  dating 
17 days ago
Living With The Devil We Know
A possible meaning of Margaret’s symptoms jumped to mind. Could her panic attacks be her way of saying, “This job makes me sick,” or “I can’t stand working here,” but instead of verbalizing her feelings, her symptoms allowed her to play the sick role and say, “I just can’t do this any more.” This idea resonated with Margaret, and she brightened up immediately. She left determined to talk things over with her boss and her husband.
cbt  psychology  therapy 
5 weeks ago
Don’t Win the Argument, Rouse the Conscience | No Zen in the West
Appealing to conscience feels to me much more vital, energized, alive, and awake than winning arguments. It feels much closer to right speech, right action. Like nonviolence itself, it has no relation to forfeiture or collapse. It is not complacency. It is active, courageous, engaged.
communication  argument  via:mournjargon 
6 weeks ago
How not to say the wrong thing
how did i not already have this saved?
ring  theory  circle  comfort  trauma 
7 weeks ago
Decrying Desirability, Demanding Care – GUTS
It’s scary to ask someone to rip apart the world we live in and help you create a new one where you feel safe.

I’m saying that when the world isn’t there for you, you learn to create your own world and invite others into it. You rip a hole in the sky and crawl through
care  relationships  friendship 
11 weeks ago
“Leave me alone” and other lessons I learned from my cats
You have to respect the times that your cat wants to be alone. Distance is love. Respect is love. It’s not just that our boundaries are there to protect us, they also show us who’ll respect those boundaries in the first place.
boundaries  love 
12 weeks ago
How houseplants saved my life - Dumbo Feather
The other reason was that they are famously hard to kill, and I really, really needed a win.
jini  depression 
december 2017
manticore magic | adventures in modern pagan animism
What I do have is my magical practice and a certain narrative malleability with regard to my own life. I am part of a house and legion; the boundaries of my body and self defy scientific materialism. I’m a jumble of metaphors that defy easy classification as figurative or literal. I thrive on ambiguity.
magic  melbourne  paganism  animism 
november 2017
How to Have a Mindful Conversation - Mindful
1. Before, during, or right after a difficult interaction with someone, pause for a moment.
mindfulness  monkeytraining  communication  via:mournjargon 
november 2017
Marriage Equality: the victory and the aftermath | Overland literary journal
It would be easy to dismiss someone like my cousin. He spent 25 minutes lecturing me on why voting yes was the right thing to do – I mean, does the guy want a medal for just doing the right thing? However, it’s important to recognise shifts in people’s consciousness when they happen: considering that many religious organisations were part of a well-resourced ‘no’ campaign that targeted their congregation (and considering my cousin lives in one of the Victorian electorates that returned a majority ‘no’ vote), this was not an act of a straight person hetero-splaining oppression to me. Rather, it was a person attempting to navigate his faith through the stormy waters of propaganda from politicians and church leaders, using his basic empathy as a guide.
november 2017
Of Whom Am I Afraid?
it amazes me constantly how many mental defenses a person can set up against the possibility of change, how everything really does tend toward enertia.
monkeytraining  via:mournjargon 
november 2017
New Neuroscience Reveals 4 Rituals That Will Make You Happy - Barking Up The Wrong Tree
I know, sometimes life lands a really mean punch in the gut and it feels like there’s nothing to be grateful for. Guess what?
Doesn’t matter. You don’t have to find anything. It’s the searching that counts.
emotions  toread 
october 2017
I Vow Not to Burn Out - Lion's Roar
When I get desperate, which is pretty often, I ask myself how to not be overwhelmed by despair or cynicism.
buddhism  activism  selfcare  via:mournjargon 
september 2017
what resembles the grave – Anne Boyer
Always falling into a hole, then saying “ok, this is not your grave, get out of this hole,” getting out of the hole which is not the grave, falling into a hole again, saying “ok, this is also not your grave, get out of this hole,” getting out of that hole, falling into another one;
AnneBoyer  poems  via:mournjargon 
september 2017
Magpies swooping? You should try making friends with them, expert says - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)
"When my dog died the maggies watched me bury him, then within half an hour the whole family came down and sat with me."
animals  birds  magpies 
august 2017
After 2,500 Studies, It's Time to Declare Animal Sentience Proven (Op-Ed)
"Convergent evidence indicates that non-human animals have the neuroanatomical, neurochemical, and neurophysiological substrates of conscious states along with the capacity to exhibit intentional behaviors. Consequently, the weight of evidence indicates that humans are not unique in possessing the neurological substrates that generate consciousness. Non-human animals, including all mammals and birds, and many other creatures, including octopuses, also possess these neurological substrates."

They could also have included fish, for whom the evidence supporting sentience and consciousness is also compelling (see also). And, I'm sure as time goes on, researchers will add many other animals to the consciousness club.
ethics  animalrights  vegan 
july 2017
Neoliberalism has conned us into fighting climate change as individuals | Martin Lukacs | Environment | The Guardian
Eco-consumerism may expiate your guilt. But it’s only mass movements that have the power to alter the trajectory of the climate crisis. This requires of us first a resolute mental break from the spell cast by neoliberalism: to stop thinking like individuals.
neoliberalism  climatechange 
july 2017
how to do nothing – Jenny Odell – Medium
The life force is concerned with cyclicality, care, and regeneration; the death force sounds a whole lot like “disrupt.” Of course some amount of both are necessary, but one is routinely valorized, not to mention masculinized, while the other goes unrecognized because it has no part in “progress.”
july 2017
Resilient to a fault | Overland literary journal
Counter to this common-sense approach is a vast body of research that suggests that membership of a marginalised or oppressed group is one of the key predictors for mental illness. Whether it is women, people of colour, people with a disability or same-sex attracted or gender-questioning people, the research tells us time and again that oppression leads to disproportionate experiences of mental ill health.

To all observers, my gently-gently approach appeared to be working. I was approachable – jovial even. I was not a threat to anyone’s transphobia. I educated. I accepted small indignities. I expressed gratitude for things that were basic rights. I embodied the core principles of resilience. I was told explicitly that my good humour made my continued presence in the school possible.

Of course, this approach has had very real costs. I have a Herculean capacity for suppression, but time undoes most things. I grew increasingly frustrated with transphobia that those around me could not, or would not, see. I no longer wanted to answer inappropriate questions, or provide advice. I wanted permission to be hurt and angry in the face of ignorance. I wanted someone else to do the work. I shifted schools eighteen months ago, partially to distance myself from the role of friendly and approachable trans teacher.
transphobia  acceptance  resilience 
july 2017
As we move towards constitutional recognition, what can we learn from Indigenous understandings of health (heaps, suggests one GP) | Croakey
When I started work in an Aboriginal Medical Service, the Aboriginal definition of health struck me as being much closer to my own perception of what health actually is.

“Health is… not just the physical well-being of an individual but refers to the social, emotional and cultural well-being of the whole Community in which each individual is able to achieve their full potential as a human being thereby bringing about the total well-being of their Community. It is a whole of life view and includes the cyclical concept of life-death-life.”
july 2017
Legacy Train Control System Stabilisation
If the 'proof of the pudding is in the eating' then we are now feasting on the fruits of our labour.
trains  melbourne 
july 2017
When Will Climate Change Make the Earth Too Hot For Humans?
You can find it already watching footage of an iceberg collapsing into the sea — a feeling of history happening all at once.
climatechange  future  we'refucked 
july 2017
The Great Tsunami by Michele Wolf | Poetry Magazine
She recognizes its crest in the way he looks at her. 
The wave is as vast as the roiling mass in the Japanese
Print they had paused in front of at the museum,
Capped with ringlets of foam, all surging sinew.
That little village along the shore would be
Totally lost. There is no escaping this.
The wave is flooding his heart,
And he is sending the flood
Her way. It rushes
Over her.

Can you look at one face
For the whole of a life?

Does the moon peer down
At the tides and hunger for home?
july 2017
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