allaboutgeorge + relationships   247

Ask Polly: ‘I Hate Men.’
But even as the sky falls, know that you are the decider. Feel that in your heart. Yes, you’re broken and the world is exploding. But you’re still alive. You’ve been staring into a tiny diorama instead of seeing the gorgeous, windy, overheated horizon right in front of your eyes. Step onto this broad landscape, feel the hot wind in your hair, and know that you are powerful beyond measure.
feminism  relationships  power  men  women  family  advice 
16 days ago by allaboutgeorge
I Am Not a Fish Dating a Bird | G’Ra Asim
Ascribing some kind of nobility to the choice not to date a black woman if you’re a black person or not to date an Asian man if you’re an Asian person is more likely to play into existing stigmas than ameliorate them.
race  dating  relationships  marriage  power  love  ethnicity  black  religion  asianamerican 
june 2017 by allaboutgeorge
You have less friends as you get older, and you spend more time alone, according to the data — Quartz
Hours spent in the company of children, friends, and extended family members all plateau by our mid-50s. And from the age of 40 until death, we spend an ever-increasing amount of time alone.
age  life  aging  science  research  health  friendship  relationships  marriage 
june 2017 by allaboutgeorge
Reverse Engineering OKCupid | Discretized Continuity
If you’ve ever seen bots on reddit like qkme_transcriber, you may wonder how they’re able to make posts without human intervention. Well wonder no longer! By examining how OKCupid handles HTTP requests, I’ll show you how to first deconstruct the undocumented APIs of other sites, then manipulate them with nary a mouse click.
code  dating  relationships  identity  technology  reddit 
march 2013 by allaboutgeorge
Dating Games – The New Inquiry
It’s easier to talk to someone at a series of shows and parties and only gradually start to spend time with them on purpose, and then still not admit attraction until 6 am and sunrise finds both of you still sitting on their couch, talking in hushed tones across a six-inch distance. If it never happens, it’s easier to pretend there was never anything at stake. Ambiguous and indeterminate contexts leave room to negotiate and to save face.
dating  relationships  love  sex  technology  marriage  friendship 
february 2013 by allaboutgeorge
Aziz Ansari gets candid about love: “elusive and sadly ephemeral” | Comedy | Interview | The A.V. Club
I weirdly do consider myself an optimist about love. In my Buried Alive show, I tell a story about a guy who meets his future wife when he goes to Bed Bath & Beyond to get Drano. They fall in love. And in the joke, I just talk about how amazing it is that all these random factors came together to make it possible for these people to run into each other at this particular moment in time, in a parking lot at Bed Bath & Beyond, and then fall in love. I’m an optimist—I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment, any of us could have that Bed Bath & Beyond moment.
love  relationships  longreads  humor  comedy  research  marriage  sex  technology  dating 
february 2013 by allaboutgeorge
Deconstructing: Chris Brown, Surfer Blood, And Villainizing Entertainers - Stereogum
We can play high and mighty when shit gets real, call for some kind of justice where the “bad” musicians don’t get to have successful careers anymore. But any lines we draw about whose music is tainted seem arbitrary to me, particularly in a culture that celebrates moral ambiguity. Where is the line between Chris Brown and, say, that angelic beacon of truth and wisdom Frank Ocean? If “Wiseman” is anything to go on, Ocean would probably argue there is no line. He’d be absolutely right.
music  identity  reputation  r&b  rock  indie  violence  relationships 
february 2013 by allaboutgeorge
Five ways media companies can build paywalls around people instead of content — paidContent
Here’s one suggestion: Why not monetize individual writers? Doing do could build stronger relationships with readers that would create more long-term value, and possibly even prevent some star writers from going the Andrew Sullivan route.
newspapers  paywall  identity  journalism  relationships  business  media 
february 2013 by allaboutgeorge
Social Business isn’t About Companies, It is About Cities | Social Enterprise Today
Customer-centricity, whatever this really means, not only implies the growth of different behaviors, but also to think differently about our spatial and symbolic relationships to customers. Providing them with more channels to interact is not enough, we need to design them in a more human way, and allow customers to embed these channels in their way of life. Cities, and those who think and design them, are ahead of organizations in tackling these problems.
cities  urbanism  business  relationships  capitalism  work  jobs  social  socbiz 
april 2012 by allaboutgeorge
CBC Books - Breaking up in a digital age
"I thought I would get wonderful stories about infidelity, about people who were arguing until six in the morning or would not return their lover's or ex-lover's possessions," Gershon revealed to Spark host Nora Young. "Nothing of the sort. Everybody answered 'It was on Facebook. It was text.'"
love  relationships  marriage  internet  technology  social  facebook 
august 2011 by allaboutgeorge
The Grid TO | The uncanny allure of couples who make music together
When a band involves romance, there’s also a certain voyeuristic thrill for the audienc
music  creativity  love  relationships  writing  rock  songwriting  indie 
july 2011 by allaboutgeorge
Dan Savage on the Virtues of Infidelity - NYTimes.com
“One size never fits all, and it isn’t just dividing between men and women and gay and straight. Monoga­my is not natural, nonmonogamy is not natural. Variation is what’s natural.”
marriage  sex  polyamory  love  disclosure  family  relationships  reputation  men  women  gay 
july 2011 by allaboutgeorge
How a sex rebel was born - Sex News, Sex Talk - Salon.com
It would have been impossible in the crowd I was running in to be put down for being sexually interested in more than one person. I know that some of my comrades found it trickier to navigate because they felt deeply in love with one person and they wanted to nest with them and it made them a lot more nervous and hurt. It was tough sometimes.

Most people who ask me about this are coming from a place of serial monogamy, or where they've had secrets or cheating, and I'm kind of like: Well, how's it been for you? Monogamy isn't a religion. It's not like you believe in it and all of a sudden all your problems are solved. Meanwhile, your life goes on and you deal with real people and their real animal instincts and impulses and idiosyncrasies.
sex  love  relationships  power  religion  feminism 
march 2011 by allaboutgeorge
Study: Regrets? Women have a few, particularly in romance - Chicago Sun-Times
“Regret is something that can push people into better success in the future. It’s a motivator. ... It’s a benefit if you take a lesson and move on quickly. It’s a problem if you keep [re-living] that same regret over and over again.”
behavior  men  women  research  relationships  love  marriage  health 
march 2011 by allaboutgeorge
Voices: News organizations must become hubs of trusted data in a market seeking (and valuing) trust » Nieman Journalism Lab » Pushing to the Future of Journalism
The maximum size of money moved by trust is the combined value of all advertising, PR, and the millions of hours people spend searching for a reliable piece of information or good advice on what product they should get. In other words, it’s huge, and no one who is just in for a quick dollar can compete. If media companies find a winning combination of data and good stories to fulfill that need, they will be vaulted out of a dying market defined by technology (printing presses, radio stations, satellites) and into the trust market.

In a multiplatform world, “trust” is the defining attribute that moves goods and services. Most marketing and advertising can’t be trusted: The system behind it does not allow buyers to learn if the newest camera from a company is actually any good. Advertising will always try to create a good impression for a product and service, but eventually people learn that it’s not the looks of a product that makes it valuable, but its day-to-day usability.
attention  media  journalism  technology  power  news  relationships  ethics  behavior 
march 2011 by allaboutgeorge
I Will Check My Phone At Dinner And You Will Deal With It
Is part of it antisocial? Sure. Can it lead to distractions if you read a work-related email that you need to respond to? Of course. But this is the way the world works now. We’re always connected and always on call. And some of us prefer it that way.
dinner  food  mobile  technology  friendship  relationships  culture  attention  presence  social 
february 2011 by allaboutgeorge
The hardest part about quitting drinking? Dating - Life stories - Salon.com
Most people you find attractive are not necessarily people you can spend a lot of time around. Getting drunk has the effect of turning any occasion into a party, though, and looking back, it can also do that with people. I always knew that alcohol made me feel so much more interesting. What I hadn't fully realized is how it made other people so much more interesting. When I think about successful dates from the past now, I wonder whether we were just fooling each other.
drinking  alcohol  dating  love  relationships 
february 2011 by allaboutgeorge
The economics of love - Coupling: Dating, marriage and other relationships - Salon.com
"Economics is the study of how people and societies allocate scarce resources. Relationships involve two people who are sharing scarce resources -- whether that's time, energy, libidos, money, ambition, patience, whatever -- and that's of course going to involve trade-offs."
economics  relationships  love  technology  data  information  men  women  sex  marriage  beauty  attention  money  dating 
january 2011 by allaboutgeorge
"Blue Valentine": An extraordinary and sexually frank romance - Andrew O'Hehir, Movie Critic - Salon.com
R.G.: Right. I think Derek didn't want it to be something that you can pin on one event. For him it was a study of: Where does love go? It's there and suddenly it's not, and each person has their own idea of what happened. You can't really pinpoint it as one specific event. It's all of these subtleties that you can't really talk about, and you have to watch and try to understand. He's asking the audience more than he's telling them. He's asking them: Here are these situations, what do you think is going wrong? What's the communication problem?
M.W.: And then it's like a poison. Like, it infiltrates everything. The smallest exchange you just can't get right. You don't know why, and you didn't set out to make it that way, but all the small things are wrong.
love  relationships  cinema  film  movie  fiction  marriage 
january 2011 by allaboutgeorge
NYT: Sustainable Love - Tara Parker
While the notion of self-expansion may sound inherently self-serving, it can lead to stronger, more sustainable relationships, Dr. Lewandowski says.

"If you're seeking self-growth and obtain it from your partner, then that puts your partner in a pretty important position," he explains. "And being able to help your partner's self-expansion would be pretty pleasing to yourself."

The concept explains why people are delighted when dates treat them to new experiences, like a weekend away. But self-expansion isn't just about exotic experiences. Individuals experience personal growth through their partners in big and small ways. It happens when they introduce new friends, or casually talk about a new restaurant or a fascinating story in the news.
psychology  love  marriage  relationships  power  work  creativity  science  education  identity  attention  presence 
january 2011 by allaboutgeorge
I, Reader by Alexander Chee - The Morning News
The world remains beautiful and terrible at the same time, and either way, I know it doesn’t care what I think or feel about it. There are things to do to help others, and there are things that may never change. But if I learned anything from all of this, it’s my first, oldest lesson as a reader: There is always going to be a book that saves you. There is also a new lesson: You do not know how it will get to you.
writing  attention  books  culture  behavior  fiction  ipad  kindle  reading  nonfiction  relationships 
december 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Logic+Emotion: Talk Isn't Cheap
Social technologies empower people to talk about what THEY want to and not about what YOU want them to. So, let's assume for the moment that this statement is a current reality. The next question becomes is there value to letting people talk about what they want to discuss? I believe there is. In fact, I believe that it's better than any focus group your company has ever conducted, and yet it's likely that your company still invests hundreds of thousands of dollars on traditional R&D and focus groups. In some cases these conversations (both positive and negative) leave a considerable "long tail" on the internet which can potentially grow your business or damage your reputation.
marketing  media  online  communication  publicrelations  power  internet  identity  relationships  business  social 
november 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Parsing Online Data to Find You a Date | Sam Yagan | Big Think
So it is a little bit of a marketing game, but it’s also a numbers game. So you should be reaching out to more people. Don’t be afraid about sending a message to somebody, even if you think you might be, you know, out of your league or not necessarily the best match for you. You have to go out there and you have to put those messages out there. You have to try. Don’t just cut and paste the same messages you sent to the last girl. Customize it. Think about "How do I actually get this specific person, guy or girl to write me back?"
dating  relationships  data  information  attention  presence  writing  identity  technology  love  research 
november 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Neil Gaiman on Amanda Palmer & the Dresden Dolls | SPIN.com
And when it's all over, and it's two a.m. and we are back in the hotel and the adrenaline is fading, Amanda, who has been subdued and awkward since the gig finished, starts crying, silently, uncontrollably, and I hold her, not sure what to say.

"You saw how good it was tonight?" she asks as she cries, and I tell her that, yes. I did, and for the first time it occurs to me how bad it must have got to make her leave something that meant that much to her, that made so many people happy.

Her cheeks are black with wet eye-make-up and it's smearing on the sheets and the pillow as she sobs and I hold her tight, and try with all my might to understand.
music  love  relationships  beauty  livemusic  rock 
november 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Hugh Hefner has been good for us - Roger Ebert's Journal
You may believe Playboy was the enemy of women. It objectified their bodies. It schooled men to regard them as sex objects. It stood for all that feminists fought to correct. There is some truth to that, but it doesn't impact upon my experience, and the best I can do here is be truthful.

Nobody taught me to regard women as sex objects. I always did. Most men do. And truth to tell, most women regard men as sex objects. We regard many other aspects of another person, but sex is the elephant in the room. Evolution has hard-wired us that way. When we meet a new person, in some small recess of our minds we evaluate that person as a sex partner. We don't act on it, we don't dwell on it, but we do it. You know we do. And this process continues bravely until we are old and feeble.
sex  men  women  magazines  love  relationships  identity  attention  presence  writing  journalism 
october 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Identity and The Independent Web - John Battelle's Searchblog
In other words, perhaps it's time for a Revealed Identity, as opposed to a Public or Dependent Identity. [...]

I think it's worth defining a portion of the web as a place where one can visit and be part of a conversation without the data created by that conversation being presumptively sucked into a sophisticated response platform - whether that platform is Google, Blue Kai, Doubleclick, Twitter, or any other scaled web service. Now, I'm all for engaging with that platform, to be sure, but I'm also interested in the parts of society where one can wander about free of identity presumption, a place where one can chose to engage knowing that you are in control of how your identity is presented, and when it is revealed.

One thing I’m certain of: Who I am according to Google, or Facebook, or any number of other scaled Dependent Web services, is not necessarily who I want to be as I wander this new digital world. I want more instrumentation, more nauance, and more rights.
identity  internet  privacy  reputation  marketing  business  power  social  relationships  technology  google  facebook  anonymity 
october 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Flexuality: Take the Test
Ever wonder if you are straight, gay, bi, or something else? Quit worrying about out-dated labels and find out how flexible you are!

The Flexuality Test assesses your attitudes, feelings, experiences, and desires. Your answers will be analyzed to generate a flexuality profile, with reference to one or more sexual types. The entire process is anonymous; you will not be asked for your e-mail address or any other personal identifying information.
sex  relationships  research 
october 2010 by allaboutgeorge
New York Magazine: Mad Men Creator Matthew Weiner on the New Season
"[...] People believe in love in the most duplicitous circumstances — they believe in it even for Don and Betty, who have the worst marriage on the show, possibly of all time. Our concept of sin is in the Ten Commandments, and was always there. But the thing that’s strange to me is that when people turn on the television, they want to judge the bad guys and love the good guys. When you fall in love with characters, when they do crappy things, or are cruel to each other, you feel a sense of betrayal. [...]"
television  story  love  relationships  marriage  behavior 
july 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Many gay couples negotiate open relationships
"When we started this study, we felt we didn't know many people with open relationships, but now our friend set is much more diverse. People we didn't think were open turned out to be. It's just not talked about that much."
gay  polyamory  relationships  marriage  sex  health  behavior  love  hiv  aids  sanfrancisco 
july 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Suzanne Vega | interviews | musicOMH
"First of all I think as a young girl I felt very cynical about love," she recalls. "But as time goes on and you lose people in your life, you realise that love is the thing that matters most of all. It's not something to be cynical about or be embarrassed or inhibited by. It takes all forms and it takes all shapes - it's really much deeper and wider than you can ever imagine at the age of 20. It can be the guiding force of your life and there's no shame in having a deep and wide and full love life. I don't mean that in the sense of just having lots of boyfriends, I mean how do you connect to the community, what is your feeling towards mankind? You feel it in that sense, which is not something I felt 25 years ago."
songwriting  love  art  music  creativity  relationships 
june 2010 by allaboutgeorge
When 'Twilight' fandom becomes addiction - latimes.com
"If you take away 'Twilight' and put in a football team, this doesn't look so much different from what guys have been doing for decades," says Baym. "They stay up late at night looking at statistics and playing fantasy football. You could just as easily say they've lost touch with reality or that they're addicted. 'Twilight' is just a story women are engaging with passionately, so people say it's dysfunctional. On the other hand, maybe men's relationship with football is dysfunctional as well."
culture  marriage  movies  fandom  story  identity  relationships  online  internet  men  women  sports 
june 2010 by allaboutgeorge
This Life - Google Restricts Ads for ‘Cougar’ Sites - NYTimes.com
Google continues to allow similar advertising for the many sites that match older men and younger women, like DateAMillionaire.com, which assures its clients they can meet “sugar babies.”

So cougars and cubs are out, but sugar daddies and sugar babies are in.
dating  relationships  love  technology  google  men  women  power  internet  marketing  sex 
may 2010 by allaboutgeorge
"For Better": The science of marital unhappiness - Nonfiction - Salon.com
It's not that if you have a bad memory of your first date that you're headed for divorce, but I think it's a useful tool to listen to yourself and your partner, and when you start to hear the negativity creep in, it's a red flag.

I was in marriage counseling at one point and the counselor wanted to hear about our first date, and I thought it was a ridiculous question. I thought we needed to talk about what's happening now, not what happened 20 years ago. And I wish she had stopped to explain that it does matter. Later, I would tell the exact same story and there would be a few little negative fingers in there. There's a big difference between saying, "We got horribly lost on our first date," and, "Of course, you didn't stop to ask for directions." It's the same first date but by the time he's being accused of not getting directions, you can tell that the relationship is going south. You can see that the structure of the relationship has changed.
marriage  relationships  love  science  research  books  nytimes  memory  story 
may 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Tracey Thorn, Singing Stories Of Fear And Loving : NPR
"If people carry on making music, but write lyrics always from the perspective of younger people, they're actually missing a trick," she says. "There are different stories to tell."
aging  songwriting  music  creativity  story  love  relationships 
may 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Gen X Has a Midlife Crisis - NYTimes.com
“If I were the protagonist of a book or a movie,” Milo says to his onetime boss, “it would be hard to like me, to identify with me, to like me, right?” The response is devastating: “I would never read a book like that, Milo, and I can’t think of anyone who would. There’s no reason for it.”

A lot of people seem to feel that way about “Greenberg,” which has done modest business and inspired a great deal of ambivalence among audiences. “Funny People” was a big flop, and “Hot Tub Time Machine” has not done nearly as well as “The Hangover,” which offers up coarse humor and male immaturity without the slightest attempt at historical perspective. Since its publication in March, “The Ask” has sold around 7,000 copies. Disappointing? Of course. Our generation wouldn’t have it any other way.
aging  marriage  criticism  movies  1980s  1990s  relationships  fiction 
may 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Sleep: Loss - Opinionator Blog - NYTimes.com
One day I met a man with the name of an angel. He was French. His accent was so thick, it sounded fake. We got to talking and I told him what had happened. “You’re going to be fine,” Emmanuel said right away. “Something bad always leads to something good.” He spoke from personal experience. His partner had died six years earlier. But he did not use that word died as he told me his story. Nor did he say passed away, a euphemism I had come to hate. Instead, Emmanuel said, “When my partner disappeared….” I knew this was not a case of poor English, a bungled translation. Still, I had to say something. “You said ‘disappeared’ —“

He nodded.

“That’s exactly how it feels for me, too.”
death  relationships  sleep  love  health 
april 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Sex Offender Week: Rivers Cuomo Messes You Up Forever - The Awl
I am not the world's leading expert on emotional maturity. I find that PJ Harvey song about mutilating dudes to be emotionally useful, on a more or less continual basis. But I will tell you this: The moment you, the female listener, break up with your internal Rivers Cuomo, the moment you renounce this particular mode of male expression and declare it no longer desirable or cute, the moment you no longer confuse the feeling of wanting to take a boy home and make him soup and somehow fix all his problems via blow job with love, is the moment that you're free. Because, at that point, you no longer care so much about his feelings. You still care, of course, about those. But never more than you care about your own.
feminism  music  humor  writing  nonfiction  1990s  relationships  love  men  women  rock 
april 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Aquarium Drunkard » Beach House :: The AD Interview
VL: [...] And I think that’s our lot in life; we’re musical soulmates. And I realize it more and more; it’s a lot harder to find your musical partner than your love partner.

AD: And they don’t necessarily have to be intertwined.

VL: No, and that’s the really special thing! And I think that’s why people always ask or they don’t understand or they don’t believe, “Well, how can you do this without this?” and exactly, that’s why! Because if we were involved, I think our project would destroy itself. I wonder how people do that. It’s something that I don’t really understand. But honestly, either way, I don’t really have time; my love, fortunately or unfortunately, is in making things and writing things, listening to other people’s music and reading about other people. My relationship is with the universe.
music  interviews  behavior  livemusic  creativity  relationships  rock  love 
april 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Is Marriage Good for Your Health? - NYTimes.com
“When someone holds your hand in a study or just shows that they are there for you by giving you a back rub, when you’re in their presence, that becomes a cue that you don’t have to regulate your negative emotion,” he told me. “The other person is essentially regulating your negative emotion but without your prefrontal cortex. It’s much less wear and tear on us if we have someone there to help regulate us.”
marriage  health  relationships  love  family  brain  emotion  research  science 
april 2010 by allaboutgeorge
The Democrats Are Doomed, or How A ‘Big Tent’ Can Be Too Big « OkTrends
"[D]espite the recent hopeful spate of Democratic victories, it's undeniable that the Republicans form an exceptionally effective opposition party. Today, we're going to perform a data-driven investigation of why this might be—and discover some fascinating things about the American electorate along the way. Our data set for this post is 172,853 people. [...]"
politics  relationships  data  love  power  democrats  republicans  identity  dating 
april 2010 by allaboutgeorge
NYC food blogger Cathy Erway ate in for a year - NYPOST.com
“When you’re cooking for yourself, you don’t need a lot of stuff. You just need a good knife, creativity and a willingness to eat whatever you might mess up.”
food  creativity  cheap  blogging  nyc  economy  relationships  community 
february 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Gene Weingarten - XXX for the XX Set: Women's erotica isn't just dirty. It's nice and dirty. - washingtonpost.com
Me: If men read these books, they'd be terrified.

Kate: Why?

Me: Because what it makes clear is that, in comparative literary terms, female sexuality is James Joyce's "Ulysses" and male sexuality is "The Hardy Boys."

Kate: I won't argue with that.

Me: How can we ever hope to compete with your expectations?

Kate: Interesting. That's what we say about the material you guys use for arousal.

Me: Maybe the answer is for men and women to abandon all these immature fantasies and work tirelessly to find joy and fulfillment in the simple reality of each other's love and understanding.

Kate: You're not very bright, are you? I like that in a man.
sex  writing  fiction  relationships  men  women  reading  creativity  identity  beauty  love  gender  story  art 
february 2010 by allaboutgeorge
For Sade, a Reluctant Return to the Spotlight - NYTimes.com
For Sade, reticence is a matter of both temperament and songwriting strategy. “That’s the trick in a way, like conjuring,” she said. “You’ve got to allow so much to go in there. But it isn’t just your own, because then it’s T.M.I.” — too much information — “and when you listen to the song you’re thinking of the person rather than your own emotions. If it’s too attached to the performer,” she added, “it pushes you away, it’s a bit repulsive. Because that’s theirs — it’s not yours.”
songwriting  music  aesthetics  creativity  writing  identity  attention  relationships 
february 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Sacramento professor asks 30-year couples what keeps them married - Sacramento Living - Sacramento Food and Wine, Home, Health | Sacramento Bee
[...] Communication, respect and shared interests are among the themes emerging from his interviews.

"These are not check boxes," he said. "You develop a communication style and openness, and from that comes common interests and respect for the individual. I'm trying to get my students to stop looking for check boxes and the ideal picture."

He also wants his students to learn that sooner or later, every marriage faces difficulties.

"The key is how you overcome obstacles," he said. "Every marriage that's together 40 years is not perfect all the time. These people had their problems, and they worked through them.

"Just because it's hard doesn't mean it's bad," he added. "It means you're working through something you're committed to."
marriage  relationships  love  communication  presence  research  family 
january 2010 by allaboutgeorge
More Men Marrying Wealthier Wives - NYTimes.com
Syreeta McFadden, a 35-year-old Columbia and Sarah Lawrence graduate who is between jobs after working in real estate development, said: “With men of any ethnic group, it’s a little intimidating for them to encounter smart women. Money is tricky.

“But, I think for me, it comes down to compatibility,” Ms. McFadden said. “Can you grow with me? Or as my genius friend the textile designer says, she asks on first dates or meeting men in bars, ‘Do you have a passport and a library card?'"
women  men  relationships  love  marriage 
january 2010 by allaboutgeorge
SFGate.com: Same-sex dance instructors and champions
You either learn civility or lose your partner. That's part of the heart of partner dancing: Can you adapt? Can you listen so completely to another person that you feel the length of their step, how they move, each tiny movement and piece of information they're giving you? Can you listen with your whole body and be completely balanced and willing? It's such a fabulous life lesson.
dance  dancing  beauty  relationships  gay 
january 2010 by allaboutgeorge
TechCrunch: Skout Studies What Happens When Dating Goes Mobile
The company surveyed 1000 of its users 20-30 years old, with an even gender split. While everyone surveyed was a Skout user, the questions pertained to any mobile dating service. Now, obviously these stats don’t readily apply to the general public — everyone surveyed is already a Skout user, so they’re more likely than average to be inclined to use a mobile dating site. Here are some of the conclusions Skout came up with
dating  relationships  mobile  local  love  sex  polyamory  technology 
december 2009 by allaboutgeorge
IMDB: Adaptation. (2002) - Memorable quotes
Donald Kaufman: I loved Sarah, Charles. It was mine, that love. I owned it. Even Sarah didn't have the right to take it away. I can love whoever I want.
Charlie Kaufman: But she thought you were pathetic.
Donald Kaufman: That was her business, not mine. You are what you love, not what loves you. That's what I decided a long time ago.
english  quotes  language  love  beauty  identity  movies  film  relationships 
december 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Becoming a piece of meat - Sex - Salon.com
[...] Monogamy can work beautifully but it's a constant moving and growing and changing thing. A marriage doesn't get fixed, it moves. I don't know if I'd call it an indictment of marriage, I'd call it an indictment of the assumption that monogamy is the one necessary thing. I had to change how I was married and become a person who can stand on her own two feet. To find out that I could be a singular human being and also be in a marriage was the only reason that our marriage was able to survive. [...]
meat  cooking  sex  relationships  gender  marriage  power  food 
december 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Vancouver Sun: Norah Jones channels her inner Tom Waits
I went through a breakup when I was writing a lot of these songs. A lot of the songs are not about that, and a lot are about friends who have broken up.

"A lot of it is very personal, a lot is deceptively fake. That's what songwriting is all about: massaging whatever it is into a great song. It's not about being my diary; I just want the songs to be good."
songwriting  relationships 
december 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Hollywood Reporter: 2012 -- Film Review
Every disaster movie derives its suspense from trying to guess which of the characters will survive and which will expire. One of the disappointments of "2012" is how predictable the crash-and-burn list turns out to be. As in many of these epics, the characters who have committed some kind of extramarital transgression are the ones marked for death. Cecil B. DeMille would have been pleased.
sex  movies  cinema  film  disaster  marriage  relationships 
november 2009 by allaboutgeorge
It’s Not You, it’s Me: Detecting Flirting and its Misperception in Speed-Dates
"Our flirtation-detection system uses prosodic, dialogue, and lexical features to detect a speaker’s intent to flirt with up to 71.5% accuracy, significantly outperforming the baseline, but also outperforming the human interlocuters. [...] Our analysis shows that humans are very poor perceivers of intended flirtatiousness, instead often projecting their own intended behavior onto their interlocutors."
love  language  relationships  men  women  sex  pdf  attention  dating  science  thinking  data  information  filetype:pdf  media:document 
october 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Why women have sex | Life and style | The Guardian
I thought that my lover adored me. No – it is because I have a symmetrical face. "I love you so much," he would say, if he could read his evolutionary impulses, "because you have a symmetrical face!" "Oh, how I love the smell of your compatible genes!" I would say back. "Symmetrical face!" "Compatible genes!" "Symmetrical face!" "Compatible genes!" And so we would osculate (kiss). I am really just a monkey trying to survive. I close the book.

I think I knew that.
sex  women  men  gender  power  relationships  love  beauty  communication  behavior  ethics  science  psychology 
october 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Miss Information, with Erin Bradley | Advice
Physical beauty is subjective. Not only that, but attraction has hundreds of components. They’re all woven together, like some big crazy quilt made of neurons, childhood memories, and hormones. No one can ever fully understand or unravel another person’s quilt.
beauty  sex  love  relationships  gender  childhood  psychology  identity  attention 
september 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Generation B - 50-Something, Divorced and Looking for Love - NYTimes.com
“Among the divorced, the least marriageables in our society are older women, highly educated who make a good salary.”

“Studies show men tend to marry down — someone slightly younger, less educated, making less money,” Dr. Adler-Baeder said. “Women in their 50s literally don’t have a visible pool of eligible men around them.”

“And if she’s tall on top of that,” Dr. Adler-Baeder said, “the pool’s even smaller.”
marriage  relationships  love  men  women  aging  beauty  families  children  dating  divorce 
september 2009 by allaboutgeorge
In recession, sexy paperbacks as cheap entertainment - ContraCostaTimes.com
"The romance industry is doing well ... because in tough times like these, people want to be entertained and they want it to be affordable. Our romance books ... have always guaranteed a happy ending," said Katherine Orr, a spokeswoman for Harlequin Enterprises.
books  love  relationships  fiction  story 
september 2009 by allaboutgeorge
About Last Night . . .The Boyfriend, by Carrie Hill Wilner - Nerve.com
Once, I heard that having a boyfriend isn't about auditioning guys for the role; it's about finding someone you care enough about to write the role for. Here, I've found a specific person, but what's getting in the way isn't my idea of what he should be. It's my idea of who I am: unfettered, of loose morals, wild, restless. I’m learning, though, that these qualities don't preclude me from loving someone, no matter how hard I'd throw a bottle at someone who suggested otherwise.
writing  relationships  identity  women  men  dating  love  nyc  behavior  sex  creativity  work 
september 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Meet the Superior Wife - The Globe and Mail
"The culture still attaches negative associations to men speaking about their personal lives. They are supposed to know this stuff. They are not supposed to ask for help. It's seen as a weakness. ...

"In the same way that at one point in the work world, men might have had to say to women, 'Here's what you have to do in business to be successful,' men get it that they have to receive wisdom in the domestic realm. And just as women have found that their way of doing things in the work world brings added value, men see that there's a male way of doing things in the home.

"Both men and women have their emerging competencies."
men  women  marriage  relationships  gender  power  parenting  children  communication 
september 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Rating Attractiveness: Consensus Among Men, Not Women, Study Finds
"As far as we know, this is the first study to investigate whether there are differences in the level of consensus male and female raters have in their attractiveness judgments," Wood says. "These differences have implications for the different experiences and strategies that could be expected for men and women in the dating marketplace."
women  men  relationships  sex  gender  culture  psychology  science  beauty  marketing 
september 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Imitation Promotes Social Bonding In Primates
"It has been argued that the link between behavior matching and increases in affiliation might have played an important role in human evolution by helping to maintain harmonious relationships between individuals," the study authors wrote. "We propose that the same principle also holds for other group-living primates."
friendship  relationships  science  research  fauna  attention  reputation  social 
september 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Aimee Mann clicks into a disturbed world | The Japan Times Online
"I'm always interested in the same thing," she says. "I like to write about messed up people who have relationships where the dynamic is strange. People are interesting, and most are fairly disturbed. I don't know anybody who you would call well adjusted. I know people who are flawed and who are trying to improve, and I applaud that." [...]

"I have a lot of compassion for people," she says briskly. "It's not easy being a person. I even feel sorry for giant celebrities. I think it's a tougher gig than people give them credit for." [...]

"I like to write in the first person but from somebody else's point of view," she explains. "How would it feel to be doing what they're doing, or feeling what they're feeling? The best way to do that is to figure out how you are alike. Maybe you take a person who you think isn't like you and it's not your story, and you start telling their story and discover the part of it that is your story."
songwriting  japan  music  livemusic  attention  writing  creativity  story  celebrity  psychology  relationships 
august 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Straight, Single, and Sixty: The Truth About Dating After 55 | RHRealityCheck.org
Dating over fifty-five is alive and well in spite of the challenges, the heartbreak, and the silly happenings that come with age. The need for intimacy never ends.
sex  relationships  aging  love  friendship  health  1960s  dating 
august 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Well - Divorce, It Seems, Can Make You Ill - NYTimes.com
In a series of experiments, scientists at Ohio State studied the relationship between marital strife and immune response, as measured by the time it takes for a wound to heal. The researchers recruited married couples who submitted to a small suction device that left eight tiny blisters on the arm. The couples then engaged in different types of discussions — sometimes positive and supportive, at other times focused on a topic of conflict.

After a marital conflict, the wounds took a full day longer to heal. Among couples who exhibited high levels of hostility, the wound healing took two days longer than with those who showed less animosity.
marriage  health  science  divorce  communication  friendship  relationships  love  research  happiness  exercise 
august 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Modern Love - Those Aren’t Fighting Words, Dear - NYTimes.com
The truth feels like the biggest sucker-punch of them all: it’s not a spouse or land or a job or money that brings us happiness. Those achievements, those relationships, can enhance our happiness, yes, but happiness has to start from within. Relying on any other equation can be lethal.
love  relationships  beauty  language  money  happiness  marriage  parenting  divorce 
august 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Merce Cunningham and John Cage, forever inseparable | Culture Monster | Los Angeles Times
The only reason this approach could work is because the dancer and composer were on the same wavelength. They understood that music and dance would come together as friends. Theirs was a deep relationship based upon trust that honored independence, which is different from separation.
music  dance  friendship  relationships  art  creativity  work  beauty  love  gay 
july 2009 by allaboutgeorge
John Cage and Merce Cunningham: 1942-1992
The collaboration between John Cage, the composer, poet and artist, and Merce Cunningham, the dancer and choreographer, extended from 1942, when they met at Seattle's Cornish School, and continued until Cage's death in 1992. [Their personal relationship is well established from personal commentary but is not mentioned in the literature because the temper of the time was not "out" as it is today; I do not make anything of it in my report because I respect Cage's view, which is that he resented categories.]
music  relationships  dancing 
july 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Salon.com Life | It's hot! It's sexy! It's ... marriage!
We talk about our marriages so seriously and with such reverence; we talk about our sex or lack thereof in the same way. Maybe we shouldn't. Maybe we shouldn't treat the institution and its dirty little companion as some sort of precious Fabergé egg that is either shattered and worthless or pristine, untouchable and priceless. Maybe it's more like Silly Putty and the plastic egg it comes in. Sometimes the egg is open, allowing for hours of stretchy, flexible fun; sometimes the egg is closed and kind of boring, but as long as the Silly Putty remains inside the egg it's still full of as much potential as your imagination allows, and the value of the egg is not diminished no matter how often or vigorously the egg or its contents are fingered or played with. (And yes, I was staring at a Silly Putty egg on my dining room table when I came up with that extended metaphor.)
marriage  relationships  beauty  love  sex  writing  men  women  humor  comedy 
july 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Adding value in the new news ecosystem « BuzzMachine
The greatest value a news organization can add to this new news ecosystem is to identify, curate, vet, and train people. Ideally, that needs to happen before the big story breaks. But it can even be done outside the country, as I saw CNN do this morning, talking with a Columbia University student from Iran, who knew who was real and was there from her network of family and friends. Of course, even if you know the people you’re listening to, it’s impossible to know whether everything they say is true unless you can verify it yourself. But that’s the point: You can’t.

[...] The larger the network of people a news organization can organize, the better shape it will be in when news breaks, the better it can filter the reports that come – whether from people in that network or in the larger network of people those people know. The more people in the network, the more who can go to the scene of news or research closer to it – the more you can ask for help.
journalism  newspapers  news  internet  twitter  social  editing  media  business  corporations  relationships  friendship  iran 
june 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Scattershot, Desperate, and Sleazy | n+1
On Craigslist, people say what they want; on Nerve or OK Cupid, they say who they are, and you infer the rest. Craigslist is scattershot, confessional, desperate, and sleazy. It's like a wholesale thrift store where nothing is hung up, no two items are alike, and the savviest shoppers wear rubber gloves. The other dating sites are for discerning petit-bouregois who like to read Consumer Reports and make informed decisions. Craigslist's the insane, open-all-night corner store where you go at 3 a.m. for unhealthy snacks, where a bony cat roams the aisles and there's a permanent card game going on in back. You go there for what you want right now and will most likely consume in private. Or you go there because you just can't sleep, and you need somebody else to know it.
relationships  craigslist  dating  psychology  sex  love  internet  marketing  identity 
june 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Prototype - Location, Location - It Still Pays to Be Near - NYTimes.com
“People here don’t talk sports at parties; they talk technology: what they are doing, what they are thinking about,” he said. “With all the new technologies and platforms being built in Silicon Valley, it’s like land opening up earlier in American history. If you’re here, you can learn first where the good land is.”
housing  geography  realestate  research  technology  location  relationships 
june 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Pop Matters: Liz Colville's "Surfing Alone: Is Digital Technology Destroying Relationships?"
In our idle entertainment and in our job searches, romantic searches, research, reading and scanning, we will continue to wander in solitude around the Web. Our job is to continually ask ourselves what we are doing, to borrow Twitter’s slogan, which seems at turns a taunt, a greeting, and an admonishment from God. Twitter is an anomaly in that it lets us mark our footprints for each other to walk in, even though those footprints fade quickly as a new tide of information washes over it. On Twitter, we are each other’s sherpas, guiding one another through the treacherous onslaught of information of varying usefulness. But it should be only one of many conduits to a “long, slow dinner,” not a substitute. Technology is seemingly limitless at this stage of human evolution. It’s up to us to put limits on it, and direct it to the best possible advantage for all.
online  relationships  communication  news  media  technology  behavior  twitter  social  books  information 
june 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Incidental submission. at The Perverted Negress
I hear so many people talking, myself included, about “managing their lives.”

Increasingly this sounds like so much bullshit.

You can’t manage it. You can only ride it. Submit to it.

And in doing so, with the fight between me and destiny and pain slowly grinding to a standstill, the quiet is filled with some really strange and beautiful music.
time  work  career  sex  identity  attention  power  relationships  jobs  psychology  spirituality 
june 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Why dishing does you good: U-M study
"Many of the hormones involved in bonding and helping behavior lead to reductions in stress and anxiety in both humans and other animals. Now we see that higher levels of progesterone may be part of the underlying physiological basis for these effects," Brown said.
health  relationships  women  story  communication  gender  psychology  evolution 
june 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Steven Soderbergh and Sasha Grey deliver "The Girlfriend Experience" - Beyond the Multiplex - Salon.com
You can see relationships that seem to be really unbalanced, where one person in them holds all the cards and the other person has no cards. And when I've made the mistake of trying to help, I come to find out that this is not what it appears to be at all. That there are absolutely buttons being pressed in both directions here and I'm dealing with two people who want those buttons pressed, and I was told by them basically to leave them alone. And I learned a lesson there. I only ask why when it comes to things that I do. I've stopped asking why when it comes to things that other people do, because I've realized I just don't know.
men  women  gender  work  sex  relationships  power 
may 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Findings - Message in What We Buy, but Nobody’s Listening - NYTimes.com
“Evolution is good at getting us to avoid death, desperation and celibacy, but it’s not that good at getting us to feel happy,” he says, calling our desire to impress strangers a quirky evolutionary byproduct of a smaller social world.

“We evolved as social primates who hardly ever encountered strangers in prehistory,” Dr. Miller says. “So we instinctively treat all strangers as if they’re potential mates or friends or enemies. But your happiness and survival today don’t depend on your relationships with strangers. It doesn’t matter whether you get a nanosecond of deference from a shopkeeper or a stranger in an airport.”
psychology  science  nytimes  marketing  books  biology  friendship  relationships  happiness  death  love  evolution  social 
may 2009 by allaboutgeorge
PR 2.0: The Ties that Bind Us - Visualizing Relationships on Twitter and Social Networks
What has evolved however, is so much more than the connection of friends and friends of friends. Social Networks have created a parallel friend/follower archetype that injects a homologous top-down network where individuals not only connect with those they know, but also with those who are interested in following their online activity, and not necessarily with the expectation of reciprocation. This injects a new dynamic into online social relationships, one that facilitates and fosters a less personal, but still meaningful engagement, creating an ambient, persona-audience interconnection.
twitter  data  socialnetworking  community  research  internet  relationships  social  marketing 
march 2009 by allaboutgeorge
BBC NEWS | UK | Magazine | Even anarchists like a little romance
"From a distance, when you think of anarchists you think of big boots and fighting with policemen," he says.

"But all the ones I've met have been very nice, very committed people. They believe in something and they want to find love, just like everyone else. Why would that surprise anyone?"
love  relationships  society  uk  politics  police  activism  community 
february 2009 by allaboutgeorge
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