adamcrowe + ambivalence   26

The Book of Life -- On Bittersweet Memories
'Surveying bits of our past – perhaps while in the bath, on a walk, or a flight – we may come across a particular type of memory colloquially known as ‘bittersweet’. -- We might remember afternoons we used to spend, when we were little, with our grandmother. Together we’d do a bit of weeding in her tiny garden, then we’d make lunch and play cards. Sometimes she showed us her old photographs of her own distant childhood. We enjoyed those times very much – but the memory of them is mixed up with the knowledge of what happened later. In adolescence, we pushed away from her, we almost never visited – and she died before we’d found our adult selves. She never got to know about the love we now feel for her. We wince at our recollections. -- ... In themselves, bittersweet memories can seem small and not very important. We perhaps don’t think about them very often; it can feel ticklishly uncomfortable to do so. But they’re quietly pointing us to something major about the human condition. Bittersweet memories force us to acknowledge that the positive in our lives is never far from being devilishly entwined with something more difficult. We feel, in the presence of bittersweet memories, the pain of being flawed, error-prone, time-short and regretful humans. -- It would, in a sense, be easier if things were more clear cut; white is simple enough to take and black, too, can be coped with when we know it has to be borne. It’s the grey – with its mercurial admixture of hope and regret – that is so hard for our minds. We long to call some people pure and dismiss others as monstrous, and we do the same with sections of our lives. But to be open to bittersweet memories is to accept ambivalence: a capacity to have two contrasting, opposed emotions about the same thing without disowning either. Both are important, neither can be denied. We’re recognising, rather than denying, the fiendishly mixed character of experience. -- We speak of bittersweet memories, but the territory they cover extends over far more than select bits of the past. We should, more rightly, also be ready to speak of, and reconcile ourselves gracefully to, bittersweet marriages, careers, holidays, weekends… Indeed, to the grandest and most necessary concept of all: that we are fated to have bittersweet lives.'
psychology  ambivalence  regret  awe  absurd 
april 2018 by adamcrowe
YouTube -- Alain de Botton on Attachment Styles and the Art of Compromise
"What does it mean to love? To love means to have the willingness to interpret someone's, on the surface, not very appealing behaviour, in order to find more benevolent reasons why it may be unfolding. In other words, to love someone is to apply charity and generosity of interpretation."
philosophy  psychology  relationships  love  ambivalence 
july 2017 by adamcrowe
Kevin Artigue -- Lecture on the Future of Tragedy
'I came across a short essay by Albert Camus on the future of tragedy. Some highlights: #The forces confronting each other in a tragedy are equally legitimate, equally justified tragedy is ambiguous #Melodrama can thus be summed up by saying: Only one side is just and justifiable, while the perfect tragic formula would be: All can be justified, no one just. #Tragedy occurs when man, by pride (or even by stupidity, as in the case of Ajax) enters into conflict with the divine order, personified by a god or incarnated in society. #Tragedy is born between the light and the shade, and from the struggle between them. #The hero denies the order which strikes him down, and the divine order strikes because it is denied. -- Camus has me thinking: in general, the plays I see that try to take on an issue or political theme ultimately fail to wrestle with two sides of the issue. Most playwrights I know are fantastically liberal people. Wild, crazy liberals. They write plays that confirm or default to even if unintentionally a general liberal, humanist mindset. Even when these writers think they are representing the opposing side, its usually not where the real energy of the play lies. -- But endings are tough they can expose us as writers for who we are and what we believe in. What I'm tired of yet have a hard time avoiding myself is a kind of Spielberg-sentimentality at the very end of a play or film. Some kind of vague, warm and squishy affirmation of some positive humanistic value. Love redeems that kind of crap. How can we avoid this? When writing drama, go big and go dark, says Camus.'
storytelling  tragedy  ambivalence 
april 2017 by adamcrowe
British Journal of Psychotherapy Integration -- The well tempered therapist: psychotherapy integration and the personality of the therapist by Tom Warnecke (PDF)
'...Humans beings, in line with most mammals, are relation seeking creatures. They rely on the limbic systems of others for co-regulation. Our open loop physiology is designed to answer to the call for limbic regulation by another. Limbic resonance and regulation connect therapist and client in somatic states of relatedness facilitated by a continuous exchange of signals which influence and modulate the embodied states and nervous systems of both participants. Regulatory information is required to tolerate, balance and integrate affect and emotional states and any associated physiological parameters such as heart rate or blood pressure for example. Who we are, our personalities, and how we manage ourselves in the therapeutic relationship is as important as what we do, our interventions, our professional identities and the theoretical constructs that support us. This is a far cry from from the current attempts to define psychotherapy in mechanistic frameworks of treatment manuals. The qualitative and quantitative dimensions of the art and science of psychotherapy are deeply entwined. -- The personality of the therapist is a catalyst for change in the therapeutic relationship. He (I use the masculine pronoun for convenience sake) is not only an resonant co-regulator but also required to act as a character in the client's internal drama who, in Vaughan's (1997) evocative metaphor, collaboratively rearranges the furniture from a position within the client’s internal world. To be a resonant agent of change, he must risk enchantment by tuning into the limbic melodies of his clients inner world, yielding to their gravitational tug to apprehend the internal reality and yet remain sufficiently anchored within his own personality. And it is necessarily a tangled place – if clients knew how to self- and co- regulate and manage good relationships successfully they wouldn't come to therapy. -- Winnicott (1971) emphasised the overlapping capacity to play in both patient and therapist in psychotherapy and suggested that development and continuity of self rely on the playful creativity of transitional phenomena. Transitional phenomena, like play and poetry, provide permissible ways of saying or doing one thing and meaning another. They require a shared simultaneous holding of two paradoxical realities, the pretend and the actual, and allow us to both own and disown vulnerable aspects such as threatening internal states, feelings, thoughts and intentions while testing out the responses of others. As such, transitional phenomena provide a shared metaphorical space to playfully try out new identifications and to explore different ways of being in the world and relating to others. The creative dynamics of transitional phenomena are equally available for the development of the therapist. -- Professional identity, initially modelled on templates provided by mentors, is being constructed, reflected back and deconstructed in relationships with clients, peers and supervisors. 'Tempering' describes a process of achieving a requisite combination of strength and flexibility through exposure to alternating temperatures. In musical terms, tempered means 'tuned to temperament', which is another apt description of the therapists' integrative process. His professional self is tempered by the fierce heat of subjective and intersubjective experience in his relationships on the one hand and by the calming immersion into observation and reflection on the other. This interplay of formless experience and transitional phenomena with rigorous review of therapeutic procedure in clinical theory and supervision invites a multiplicity of questions and perspectives. It is one of the main arguments for integrative psychotherapy that the complexities of our clients' experiences and problems require a plurality of perspectives to facilitate their integration. -- Jung coined the term individuation to describe a process of differentiation of the individual from collective and archetypical material. Interestingly, this theorising coincided with his personal development of differentiating himself from the dominantly mechanistic thinking of the nineteenth century with its outright rejection of subjectivity and the entire emotional experience. Jung achieved some integration of the feminine within himself in this process and later viewed this phase as the most profound turning point in his career which formed the foundation for his later theoretical endeavours (Conger 2005). Our conceptualisations and clinical practice seem inextricably entwined with our personalities. There is a parallel, I suggest, between the complexity and the many layers of a client's personality, between the plurality of theoretical perspectives, and between the complexity of the therapists multi-layered self-organization that supports him in the therapeutic relationship. -- Integration is not a quest for unification. Therapy does not aim to unify the multitude of personality aspects but rather facilitate their differentiation, mutual acknowledgment and negotiated co-existence. However, theoretical perspectives, much like personal belief systems, need to be continuously questioned and examined from the perspectives of alternative constructs. And we can apply this equally to the construct of the therapists' identity and the theoretical perspectives he identifies with. Identity, personal and professional, is forever under review and concomitantly constructed and deconstructed in the process. -- The therapists' integrative journey is a journey towards integrity, towards functioning from somewhere closer to our core, towards finding the theoretical tools that suit our personality and cultural context. Our personalities are the flesh and blood on the bones of our clinical constructs. Integration is a journey towards becoming more conscious who we are by participating in the dynamic forces that shape us. It is a passage of finding ways to exist and work which support our unrestricted engagement in the therapeutic relationship and which best facilitate the flow of transitional phenomena and somatic states of relatedness which may transform our client's inner world.'
psychology  psychotherapy  affectregulation  ambivalence  play  parts  personality  theory 
february 2017 by adamcrowe
Oliver Burkeman -- Why ambivalence has good and bad points
'...Another thing we ambivalent types eventually figure out: life’s big dilemmas – the ones that trigger most ambivalence – rarely get solved by acting “decisively” and plumping for one option over others. “The greatest and most important problems of life are all in a certain sense insoluble,” wrote Carl Jung. They can’t be solved, only outgrown: “Some higher or wider interest arose on the person’s horizon, and through this widening of his view, the insoluble problem lost its urgency. [It] now seemed like a storm in the valley seen from a high mountain-top. This does not mean that the thunderstorm is robbed of its reality, but instead of being in it, one is now above it.”'
psychology  ambivalence  quotes 
march 2015 by adamcrowe
Psychology Today -- What If Your Ambivalence Can’t Be Resolved? by Leon F. Seltzer
'...there’s always what I’d call a “values war” going on. And both sets of values have their own authenticity. They’re heartfelt and actually reflect that individual’s basic integrity. And when I use the word “values” here, I do so in the most inclusive sense. That is, I see the term as encompassing one’s attitudes, ideas, beliefs, and (closely related) moral ideals. No ready-made, or incontestable, decision is possible in such circumstances, for the values embodied – or embedded – in both sets may be forever incompatible. Which is why individuals, before arriving at their less-than-unequivocal decision, can’t help but protractedly waver between them. -- It’s as though the two sides represent two internal – or infernal! – debating teams. So for such individuals to be “true” to their opposing selves (or minds) is unquestionably a most daunting task. After all, each side has its own cogent arguments to make, at the same time that the other faction’s counter-arguments must also feel about equally convincing. One’s very being, then, is caught in a maelstrom of seemingly irreconcilable opposites. -- So is there a satisfactory solution for such a dilemma? I’d assert that there is, but that it can’t be expected to totally resolve the person’s prior ambivalence . Finally, it’s a matter of determining – and perhaps more from the heart than the head – which values inherent in each position deserve to be given higher priority, or weighted more heavily. Any personally satisfying conclusion must offer the individual the best possible affirmation of self.'
psychology  ambivalence 
february 2014 by adamcrowe
Psychology Today -- When All Else Fails, Try Reverse Psychology! by Leon F. Seltzer
'How do you present someone who self-sabotages with an irresistible challenge? -- ... Note that although Beth’s “tack” here might seem sarcastic, it really isn’t. She does, in fact, have every reason to believe that Bernard is incapable of changing — at least given the considerable obstacles that have continued to stand in his way and, presumably, defeated his best intentions. For though in the past he has made a variety of efforts to alter his behavior, his obvious internal conflicts — most likely revolving around sexual anxieties and an addictive relationship to food — have doomed all of his attempts. And if his earlier endeavors were half-hearted, it was because he could hardly help but be ambivalent about all that such change might involve. Moreover, as long as Beth continued to express the positive part of his ambivalence, he seemed compelled to passively “act out” the negative part (a phenomenon we therapists call “homeostasis”). -- So, in the script I proposed to Beth, I was granting her the permission to “take over” the negative side of his indecisiveness, giving him the freedom to explore anew the positive side. Which meant facing head-on the positive challenges he’d so long shied away from. After all, for him to agree to Beth’s request — that is, actively assist her in fully accepting him as the weak, ineffectual, sex-scared partner he already saw himself as being — he’d be tacitly “owning” the disrespect and humiliation he’d experienced in the restaurant scene. -- To put it somewhat differently, Beth’s new paradoxical approach (at once declaring helplessness and supporting/validating the behaviors so disturbing to her) would be to appeal to Bernard’s masculine pride by siding with all the resistance he’d demonstrated. And rendering these past defenses unnecessary would put him in a double bind. For now he had to be the one to make the argument that he was capable both of controlling his weight and being a sexually adequate husband. By removing (even reversing) all external pressure, the possibility of some desperately needed self-confrontation could be maximized — as could his motivation to seriously apply himself to all the changes his wife now claimed to relinquish any hope for.'
psychology  psychotherapy  ambivalence 
august 2013 by adamcrowe
After Psychotherapy -- When is Contempt a Legitimate Response?
'In the end, I think my contempt actually is a kind of defense: it “pushes” these people away from me, it puts them at a remote distance because I find it such a lonely and painful experience to be in contact with them. Jessica must be an extremely unhappy person, but I don’t really want to feel her pain; she has virtually no interest or ability to understand me as a separate person who is more than just a member of her audience. The Kardashians obviously lead lives of staggering emptiness and are totally adrift in a world where celebrity is the only value, but I don’t care to know anything more about the void at the heart of their lives. I find it alienating that such people hold “important” positions in our culture and that other individuals actually admire and look up to them. It makes me feel so alone. -- Which is yet another reason why I’m a therapist.' -- Comment: Steven Brownlow: '...some people have unconscious self-contempt that leads them to act in a contemptuous manner. If I strongly dislike myself or believe I should be punished but can’t admit it to myself, I can arrange for others to dislike or punish me. That way, I can feel scorned and disapproved while still being able to defend myself as being the innocent victim of others’ rude behavior. I never have to acknowledge my part in the process. -- If you watch couples who don’t get along for very long, you’ll often see similar processes, where one of them is assigned to argue for one side of the other’s ambivalence. The ambivalent one can then have protracted arguments that go nowhere because essentially they are arguing with themselves and refusing to move either way.' -- Comment: Anne: 'I think contempt, in the situtations you’ve described is our way of dealing with our own frustration and fear about confronting and being honest about our feelings. We don’t feel polite or entitled to say: Excuse me, but you are monopolizing the conversation and showing a lack of interest or care in your fellow human beings. We are scared to say these things and face the social consequence of being outspoken. Instead we transfer it to feelings of contempt which is easy to hide, but still gives us some sense of satisfaction. So I agree, it’s absolutely a defense against our own sense of powerlessness to assert ourselves.' -- Comment: 'I think my contempt is still a defense but it’s not about shame. It’s more about loneliness and alienation: I often feel like an outsider in this culture, because my values are not widely shared. Contempt wards off the loneliness.'
psychology  narcissism  projectiveidentification  ambivalence  contempt 
january 2013 by adamcrowe
After Psychotherapy -- 60 Minutes and Greg Mortenson's Fraud: The Power of Sentimentality
'People everywhere want to believe that conflicts and problems can be resolved in a permanent way, whether it’s the internal conflict between love and hatred inherent in human relationships, or complicated external conflicts between opposing sides in war. Tolerating ambiguity and living with ongoing conflict is difficult; we’d much rather have a final solution, where the world ultimately turns “white” and good triumphs forever. The Harry Potter books, the Star Wars saga and countless other myths and fables reflect our longing to see the world in terms of black and white, with good ultimately and permanently victorious. If we want desperately to believe, as Hampson Sides writes, in our hero’s inherent goodness as a person (his non-conflicted goodness), it’s because we long to be that way ourselves: full of positive, loving emotions only, untroubled by the other feelings that cause us trouble, such as greed, jealousy, envy, anger and hatred. The longing to be free of such ambivalence lies at the core of sentimentality. -- ... -- Life would be so much easier if the destructive parts were all outside instead of within me, where I must grapple with them on a daily basis.'
psychology  ambivalence  defencemechanisms  splitting  sentimentality  fantasy  heroes 
january 2013 by adamcrowe
After Psychotherapy -- Ambivalence and the Perfect Answer
'... so-called ambivalence keeps us in the realm of ideal possibilities while actual choice leads us to the imperfect and the real. With my client who couldn’t decide between her two boyfriends, the expectation of a perfect fit, an ideal relationship lay behind her “ambivalence”. She couldn’t tolerate an authentic (and therefore imperfect) relationship with an actual man but wanted a perfect bond without frustration, conflict or disappointment. As long as she didn’t actually choose, she unconsciously held out for a perfect relationship. If only she could decide which of the two men was Mr Right!'
psychology  ambivalence  choice  decisions 
january 2013 by adamcrowe
The Last Psychiatrist -- "My fiancee is pushing me away and I've lost hope"
'The mistake many with that problem make is thinking that the problem is "themselves" and they need more introspection, or more insight, or more "brain hacks." You need less of those things. What you need are goals with concrete steps that you force yourself to boringly take. I'm not against introspection, I am against masturbation. I'm against edging. The critic wants to be able to contemplate, to go to therapy and discuss and introspect and what he will do there is talk about himself, think about himself, identify patterns in his life, things that have held him back – and nothing will change. So then he will tell me that he has "a really good therapist, she really pushes me!" The therapy becomes an elaborate narcissistic defense, the promise and appearance of progress while protecting an at best artificial and at worst non-existent identity. "I want to learn why I am this way." Then what? Will learning why you made those choices be what changes your choices? You're still eating junk food, aren't you? You're eating it while you're learning how bad it is. "But... why am I this way?" That question is a narcissistic defense. It doesn't want an answer, it wants you to keep asking the question. "I'm a good person, I just am making bad choices." Wrong. You're not a good person until you make good choices. Until then you are chaos. And you know it.'
psychology  ambivalence  analysisparalysis  growthanxiety  defencemechanisms  avoidance  idealization  narcissism  possibilityspace  probabilityspace 
february 2012 by adamcrowe
The Last Psychiatrist -- The Walking Dead: Not About Zombies
'All mourning is ambivalence. You're never too far from age 2, when your rage is magically powerful. ...the unconscious never forgets even the briefest of hates. Sometimes the guilt has a convenient narrative: caring for a cancer-ridden, demented parent who exhausted your physical and emotional resources, and then finally(!) dies. -- In most (all?) zombie movies, there is always a scene in which a main character confronts a loved one turned zombie. The rest of the previous zombie attacks are merely prelude to that one, specific, pivotal interaction. Quick, bolt the door, ambivalence is coming. Movies give the loved-one zombie a momentary flash of the old self – is it remembering, is it a trap, or are you seeing what you want to see? ...how the living negotiate that bit of mourning determines if they'll be able to put the dead to rest, or are going to have be tied to them forever.'
psychology  childhood  parenting  narcissism  falseself  growthanxiety  repression  individuation  ownlife  trueself  ambivalence  zombies  acceptance  death  mourning  freedom  *  from delicious
december 2010 by adamcrowe
YouTube -- Big Thinkers: Sherry Turkle 2/3
"...differences between acting out and working through. ...using these environments to explore and work through some aspect of the self... putting different aspects of yourself out there."
psychology  ambivalence  relationalobjects  selfobjects  objects  identity  self  SherryTurkle  parts  from delicious
december 2010 by adamcrowe
YouTube -- Freedomain Radio: The Bomb in the Brain Part 4: The Effects of Child Abuse: The Death of Reason
'The scientific evidence underlying the near-universal resistance to reason and evidence. If you want to change the world, you first must understand the unconscious barriers to thinking.' -- '"None of the circuits involved in conscious reasoning were particularly engaged," Western said. "Essentially, it appears as if partisans twirl the cognitive kaledoscope until they get the conclusions they want, and then get massively enforced for it, with the elimination of negative emotional states and activation of positive ones."
*  philosophy  thinking  ambivalence  psychology  parenting  childhood  abuse  trauma  reactionformation  defencemechanisms  ideology  politics  addiction  fear  hysteria  StefanMolyneux  psychobiology  irrationality  argumentation 
october 2010 by adamcrowe
Wikipedia -- Vanishing mediator
'A vanishing mediator is a concept that exists to mediate between two opposing ideas, as a transition occurs between them. At the point where one idea has been replaced by the other, and the concept is no longer required, the mediator vanishes. In terms of Hegelian dialectics, the conflict between thesis and antithesis is resolved by a synthesis of the two ideas, although the synthesis represents the final solution, whereupon the mediator vanishes. In terms of psychoanalytic theory, when someone is caught in a dilemma they experience Hysteria. The conceptual deadlock, exists until the resulting Hysteric breakdown precipitates some kind of resolution, therefore the Hysteria is a vanishing mediator in this case.'
psychology  ambivalence  hysteria  psychopolitics  problemreactionsolution  dialectics  standalonecomplex  puppetry  trickster  vanishingmediator  parts  from delicious
september 2010 by adamcrowe
Psychology Articles -- Negative Emotion Contains Our Dearest Treasure by Don Fenn
'Negative emotional experience just happens to be the only place we’ll find new information trying to access our life, offering us the chance to see some part of ourselves differently, thus capable of changing us. Positive feeling experience is wonderful. It’s no surprise or sin that we want to spend as much time inside it as possible. Nothing else makes more sense. But that doesn’t mean to kill the baby with the bathwater. We all want to ease distress and unhappiness as efficiently as possible. But positive emotional energy doesn’t offer anything new; that’s what’s so good about it – no hassles. Learning always disturbs. That’s what makes it such a good carrier of new information. The question is whether, in being happy, we avoid taking even a moment to pluck just one valuable piece of new information out of our unhappiness before abandoning it? That’s all it takes to learn, to build upon that one piece.'
*  psychology  psychotherapy  dissociation  repression  denial  ambivalence  DonFenn  falseself  from delicious
august 2010 by adamcrowe
NYTimes.com -- Crafting Fictional Personas With the Language of Facebook -
'Everything is extreme: So-and-so “is obsessed with.” So-and-so “just had the longest day EVERRRRRR.” They are in a perpetual high pitch of pleasure or a high pitch of crisis or sometimes just a high pitch of high pitch. Holden Caulfield might have called it “phoniness.” -- One of the other great adolescent poses of Facebook is irony at all times. So if you say, “can’t wait for the Lady Gaga concert,” you might add “lol” or you might say “Hey you are at camp and I’m in England, but I just wanted to let you know that I miss youuuu hahaha” to make it clear that you are not really looking forward to anything or expressing an actual emotion in a way that might be overly earnest or embarrassing.'
socialnetworking  behaviours  sousveillance  identity  performance  ambivalence  masks  phatic  communication  fake  from delicious
august 2010 by adamcrowe
Wikipedia -- Coping strategies
'#Moving With: Strategies in which psychologically healthy people develop relationships: communication, agreement, disagreement, compromise, and decisions. #Moving Toward: The individual moves towards those perceived as a threat to avoid retribution and getting hurt. The argument is, “If I give in, I won’t get hurt.” This means that: if I give everyone I see as a potential threat whatever they want, I won’t be injured (physically or emotionally). #Moving Against: The individual threatens those perceived as a threat to avoid getting hurt. #Moving Away: The individual distances themselves from anyone perceived as a threat to avoid getting hurt. The argument is, “If I do not let anyone close to me, I won’t get hurt.” A neurotic desires to be distant because of being abused. If they can be the extreme introvert, no one will ever develop a relationship with them. If there is no one around, nobody can hurt them. They emotionally remove themselves from society.'
psychology  relationships  transactionalanalysis  conflict  ambivalence  status  communication  from delicious
august 2010 by adamcrowe
Psychology Articles -- Ambivalence: The Supernova of Psychic Evolution by Don Fenn
'We humans are uniquely fortunate that ambivalence pervades everything we experience, think, feel and intuit, or we wouldn’t have gotten as far as we have. Within the scientific realm dealing with tangible objects, we have become very accustomed and skilled at managing and using contradictory possibilities and options. In fact that’s how science has progressed. It’s the art of putting things together that previously weren’t supposed to be married, and taking apart things that were supposed to remain together. But when it comes to dealing with ambiguity in the intangibles of human life—we suddenly lose it! We stumble into ambiguity-illiteracy. We try to make reality caveman-simple, of which good and evil is the best example; in making the most important decisions of life we have only two options instead of a thousand or more. Violence is one of the principle outcomes of simple-mindedness. Ambivalence is the key skill necessary for the creative management of multilayered comprehension.'
*  philosophy  humility  psychology  ambivalence  cognitivedissonance  ego  defencemechanisms  selfdeception  crimestop  goodthink  duckspeak  conflict  violence  DonFenn  from delicious
august 2010 by adamcrowe
Wikipedia -- Ambivalence
'Ambivalence is a state of having simultaneous, conflicting feelings toward a person or thing. Ambivalence is experienced as psychologically unpleasant when the positive and negative aspects of a subject are both present in a person's mind at the same time. This state can lead to avoidance or procrastination, or to deliberate attempts to resolve the ambivalence. When the situation does not require a decision to be made, people experience less discomfort even when feeling ambivalent.' -- Wikipedia: Cognitive Dissonance: 'A powerful cause of dissonance is an idea in conflict with a fundamental element of the self-concept, such as "I am a good person" or "I made the right decision." The anxiety that comes with the possibility of having made a bad decision can lead to rationalization, the tendency to create additional reasons or justifications to support one's choices. Dissonance can also lead to confirmation bias, the denial of disconfirming evidence, and other ego defense mechanisms.'
psychology  ambivalence  cognitivedissonance  ego  defencemechanisms  selfdeception  crimestop  goodthink  duckspeak  dialectics  from delicious
august 2010 by adamcrowe
The Last Psychiatrist -- The Worst Thing That Can Happen Is You Succeed
'"How can you know what kind of a man you if you've never been in a fight?" Ed Norton asks himself in Fight Club. Well, there are other ways, but the point's solid.'
ambivalence  risk  YOU 
august 2010 by adamcrowe
Wikipedia -- Defence mechanism: Vaillant's categorization of defence mechanisms
'#Level 1: Pathological (delusional projection, denial, distortion, splitting) #Level 2: Immature (acting out, fantasy, idealization, passive aggression, projection, projective identification, somatization) #Level 3: Neurotic (displacement, dissociation, hypochondriasis, intellectualization, isolation, rationalization, reaction formation, repression, regression, undoing) #Level 4: Mature (altruism, anticipation, humour, identification, introjection, sublimation, thought suppression)'
psychology  anxiety  adaptation  ambivalence  cognitivedissonance  ego  defencemechanisms  trolling  parts 
april 2010 by adamcrowe
Freedomain Radio -- #1351 Political Parties: Democrats (MP3) (1)
Gisted -- Whereas Republicans are like angry dads who manage through fear, the Democrats are like guilt-inducing moms who manage through manipulation. For Republicans the threats come from outside and from the growing strength of the young -- unless, of course, those young are in the service of the military. For Democrats the threat comes from the patriarchy inside society and there's a lot of sympathy for the young. Because guilt is a more sophisticated method of control than fear, it is a step forward to go from Republicanism to Democrat—not morally—but in terms of the relative sophistication of their class-based argument (when contrasted with the Republican's proximity-based one) and the emotional and intellectual apparatus needed to sustain it. People who can handle more complex concepts tend to be less aggressive because aggression is an hysterical reaction-formation to cover over feelings of doubt and ambivalence when a dogmatically held virtue is being challenged.
+  *  philosophy  psychology  politics  liberalism  socialism  class  patriarchy  StefanMolyneux  ambivalence  rkselectiontheory 
march 2010 by adamcrowe
Vodafone | receiver -- The lamp posts on Brick Lane
'Constant connection makes us chronically impatient. We come to expect everything to happen at the touch of a button – and get angry when it doesn't. As the actress Carrie Fisher once quipped, these days "even instant gratification takes too long." The other day, my neighbour, a multitasking marketing executive, lost her BlackBerry; or thought she did. It turned out that her five year old daughter had hidden it. "I thought it would get you to listen to me when I talk," explained the little girl. Overdosing on mobile communication can also mess up the relationship we have with ourselves. Human beings need moments of silence and solitude: to rest and recharge, to think deeply and creatively, to look inside and confront the big questions, 'Who am I? How do I fit into the world? What is the meaning of life?'. That isn't likely to happen when your mind is constantly wondering if you have new email or if it's time for a fresh tweet.' -- Interesting comment on fear of uncertainty (untether)
technology  mobile  behaviours  continuouspartialattention  attention  distraction  addiction  gluttony  ambientintimacy  ambientimmediacy  relationalobjects  objects  tethered  self  solitude  psychology  ambivalence 
may 2009 by adamcrowe
New York Times -- At Heart of a Cyberstudy, the Human Essence (PDF)
'There are some people who use the Net to act out. That is, they use this new medium to express the unresolved conflicts in their lives, to run the "old tapes" in unproductive ways. But there are people who are able to use this medium to work through issues, who are able to use the Net to effect change in their lives. In the best cases, looking at one's life on screen causes one to reflect on the self and on what one seems to desire, what seems to be missing, what seems to be gratifying. Of course, in some cases, what people experience in the on-line world is disquieting or disturbing. but here again, the most constructive response is to use this experience as grist for the mill for thinking about the rest of one's life.'
psychology  computers  embodiment  body  aliveness  toyfriends  toys  liminality  liminalobjects  objects  evocativeobjects  reflexivity  transformation  SherryTurkle  pdf  ambivalence  psychotherapy 
february 2009 by adamcrowe
Wikipedia - Cognitive distortion
"Cognitive therapy and its variants traditionally identify ten cognitive distortions that maintain negative thinking and help to maintain negative emotions. The process of learning to refute these distortions is called "cognitive restructuring".
advice  brain  cognition  procrastination  depression  mind  psychology  motivation  thinking  zen  ambivalence  distortion  fallacy  defencemechanisms  irrationality 
may 2007 by adamcrowe

related tags

*  +  absurd  abuse  acceptance  adaptation  addiction  advice  affectregulation  aliveness  ambientimmediacy  ambientintimacy  ambivalence  analysisparalysis  anxiety  argumentation  attention  avoidance  awe  behaviours  body  brain  childhood  choice  class  cognition  cognitivedissonance  communication  computers  conflict  contempt  continuouspartialattention  crimestop  death  decisions  defencemechanisms  denial  depression  dialectics  dissociation  distortion  distraction  DonFenn  duckspeak  ego  embodiment  evocativeobjects  fake  fallacy  falseself  fantasy  fear  freedom  gluttony  goodthink  growthanxiety  heroes  humility  hysteria  idealization  identity  ideology  individuation  irrationality  liberalism  liminality  liminalobjects  love  masks  mind  mobile  motivation  mourning  narcissism  objects  ownlife  parenting  parts  patriarchy  pdf  performance  personality  phatic  philosophy  play  politics  possibilityspace  probabilityspace  problemreactionsolution  procrastination  projectiveidentification  psychobiology  psychology  psychopolitics  psychotherapy  puppetry  quotes  reactionformation  reflexivity  regret  relationalobjects  relationships  repression  risk  rkselectiontheory  self  selfdeception  selfobjects  sentimentality  SherryTurkle  socialism  socialnetworking  solitude  sousveillance  splitting  standalonecomplex  status  StefanMolyneux  storytelling  technology  tethered  theory  thinking  toyfriends  toys  tragedy  transactionalanalysis  transformation  trauma  trickster  trolling  trueself  vanishingmediator  violence  YOU  zen  zombies 

Copy this bookmark:



description:


tags: