Teogli + crack   1551

Rub-a-Dub Dub (A Bunch of Capes in the Tub) - Anonymous - Justice League & Justice League Unlimited (Cartoons) [Archive of Our Own]
“Holy cats!” Oliver said, dropping the sponge. There was still conditioner in his beard.

“I think you mean, holy bats,” Bruce intoned.

 A bunch of times Batman ambushed people in the shower, and a time or two someone ambushed him.
dcu  batman  crack  via:alamerysl 
june 2016 by Teogli
The Dragon-Helm of Discord - sath - The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
How the Helm of Hador found its proper head, explored through letters.

Now with a confession of misdeeds by Finrod Felagund. (1,147 words)
LOTR  hee!  crack  short  epistolary  via:theodosia21 
september 2015 by Teogli
Rock Bottom - esama - Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Compilation of Final Fantasy VII [Archive of Our Own]
In which Cloud is so not doing this again. Except then he is. [41,548]
The coffin lid blew open and Vincent sat up to glare at them with a somewhat bleary, confused look about his face. "Who are you?" the man demanded, his gloved fingers reaching for a gun. Then he actually took them in – took in Aerith's horrible get up – and blinked. "You are not ShinRa. Are you?"

"Nope!" Aerith said cheerfully. "I'm Aerith, this is Cloud. We're time travelling terrorists."
crack  silly  au  timetravel  ff  ffvii  via:scorpionvoices 
august 2015 by Teogli
Psocoptera: Mass Hysteria
2014: Ice Bucket Challenge. 2015: Wax Off Heart Disease. 2016: mass hysteria.

(This is FUCKING AMAZING. PUN INTENDED.)
tazer/kaner  hockeyrpf  crack  tropefic  via:merrily 
july 2015 by Teogli
Some Days There Are Dinosaurs | marciacat
It turns out a lot more of life is about making friends and knowing people than we were led to believe. Also, dinosaurs. //

Author’s Note: The prologue to this fic is actually the set-up for a much different story, that takes place in a non-alternate dimension. But once I set it up, suddenly there was the raptor squad, and I couldn’t resist. Since it also, however vaguely, explains why this particular set of people might have ended up in a meeting together, I left it in.

**||** [4.100 words]

Unread.
avengers  marvel  gardians  crack  dinosaurs  case-file  gen  ensemble  setting  via:blueMeridian 
july 2015 by Teogli
Blackhawks vs. Predators playoff thread: Game 1, Period 2 - Second City Hockey
Hackerar’s So Happy Together

If I should tap my stick, you drop a dime
And you should skate with me and Toews will grind
Imagine how that line will be, we could score nine
So happy together
crack  hockey  blackhawks  stylish  music  fun 
april 2015 by Teogli
Symphonies In My Head - angelsaves - Hockey RPF, Montreal Canadiens RPF [Archive of Our Own]
PK and Carey wake up temporarily soulbonded, and that's not even the weirdest thing that happens all week.

(Contains soulbonding, sex pollen, and being trapped in an elevator -- uh, I heard you liked tropes, so I put some tropes in your tropes! Also includes mention of an open relationship, which I will explain more spoiler-ily in the end notes for people with concerns.)

This is a Yuletide treat!
rarepair  hockeyrpf  crack  tropefic  silly  carey/pk 
february 2015 by Teogli
Team Bed - sailorstkwrning - Hockey RPF [Archive of Our Own]
a universe in which the NHL has team beds. Posting mainly so I don't lose track of it, and for LOLS.
crack  hockeyrpf  gen  teamfic  cute 
january 2015 by Teogli
The Doctor Is Iggy - abstractconcept - Hockey RPF [Archive of Our Own]
The Avs brought Iggy in for leadership. He didn’t know what he was getting into.
gen  hockeyrpf  teamfic  crack  tropefic 
january 2015 by Teogli
The Pigeon Squawks at Midnight - Saone - The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
Phil Coulson is hiding something, and Agent Grant Ward, along with the most annoying hacker on the planet, is going to find out what it is, even if it - or he - kills them.
clint/coulson  AoS  avengers  crack  cute  shenanigans 
december 2014 by Teogli
There's No Rainbow Bridge Across The Generation Gap - mattador - Mythology - Norse [Archive of Our Own]
Summary: Loki comes out ready to start Ragnarok! ... his children refuse to help.

Reccer's Notes:

"There's no boat," Hel said calmly, reclining on a white plastic chair, her face slathered with some manner of green foam and her eyes hidden behind two slices of unfamiliar vegetable. "I've renounced the patriarchal system of cyclical self-punishment and destruction, Father."

There was no language barrier, not for gods- the full clarity of every meaning behind every word was there, no matter the language or the dialect, spelled out in his mind as he heard it spoken. Loki blinked. "The boat is not yet prepared?" he ventured, testing the part of the sentence that he had understood.
crack  hee!  cool  mythic  classical  loki 
november 2014 by Teogli
comics_fanart: DC: Superman
brown_betty challenged us to imagine male characters drawn in female character poses, with similar exaggerations. (You guys can spread the pain where-ever you like). "R-rao?!?"
crack  hee!  comics  feminism  socialissues  pic  fanart  genderfuck 
october 2014 by Teogli
• further readings in the Trolliad :: emilyenrose
(from an article in the Troll Classical Review.)
classics
the trolliad
studies in troll literature
lowbloods don't understand kismessitude anyway
at least that's what most highblood scholars think
homestuck  crack  cool  academia  misc  meta  stylish 
july 2014 by Teogli
Cohabitation - weialala - Naruto [Archive of Our Own]
Sasuke starts calling Naruto "the missus" behind his back two months after moving in with him. It was, in retrospect, akin to ritual suicide.
atmospheric  cute  crack  naruto  naruto/sasuke  voice 
june 2014 by Teogli
How Atobe Stole Seigaku's Virginity - Chapter 1 - Kantayra - Tennis no Oujisama | Prince of Tennis [Archive of Our Own]
Atobe is horrified to learn that Seigaku are all virgins and takes it upon himself to remedy this situation immediately. Out of the goodness of his heart, mind you, and not because he's trying to get into Tezuka's pants, at all. Tezuka is frightened...and a little turned on.
hee!  crack  PoT  fun  silly  shenanigans  teamfic 
june 2014 by Teogli
kantayra_fic: Naruto Fic: "A Tomato and a Punch in the Face" (NC-17) - Naruto/Sasuke
For Sasuke’s thirteenth birthday, Naruto got him a tomato and a punch in the face. It must be love!
naruto  naruto/sasuke  crack 
june 2014 by Teogli
kantayra_fic: Naruto Fic: "Don't Be Stupid: An Epic Tale of Romance" (R) - Naruto/Sasuke
Set vaguely in the future. Silliness, crack, Sasuke gorily being a homicidal psycho, attack ramen, and other nonsense.
Summary: The classic fairytale of Naruto and Sasuke's courtship, wedding, and happily-ever-after. With bonus insults, and assassins.

::::

“Sasuke-bastard,” Naruto gave Sasuke’s shoulders an affectionate squeeze, which made Sasuke glare at him and then wince (because he really was quite bruised), “after three whole days of, er, negotiations,” Sasuke coughed up a little blood, “has agreed to be my bride!”

“Moron.” Sasuke elbowed him in the side. “You agreed to be my bride.”

“No,” Naruto elbowed him right back, twice as hard, “I only agreed to take on your name. You’re still the wife.”
naruto  naruto/sasuke  crack  hee!  shenanigans  action  voice 
june 2014 by Teogli
kantayra_fic: Naruto Fic: "The Subtle Art of Uchiha Seduction" (R) - Naruto/Sasuke
Neji and Hinata, as all Hyuuga did but vehemently denied, took advantage of the opportunity to use their Byakugan to see through Naruto’s clothes. They both started coughing in shock at the same time.

“I hate that bastard so much,” Naruto seethed, stalking by them without a second glance. “It was permanent marker!”
naruto  naruto/sasuke  crack  outsiderpov  hee! 
june 2014 by Teogli
penelope_z: And Every Dog Will Have Its Day
He had disliked Sasuke even before he was inflicted with the curse seal of perpetual PMS, but at least his return had promised some excitement. Now it was finally revealed that all the excitement from Sasuke’s return was happening in Naruto’s pants.

The rumour first originated from Sakura, who gossiped to Ino, who told Chouji, who in turn mentioned it to Hinata in an attempt to distract her from the bag of crisps she was eating at the time. Hinata later cunningly used the news as a diversion tactic during a spar with Neji, thus scoring her first ever victory against him, as he keeled over in a dead faint. It was then overheard by Lee, on his thirty-seventh lap around Konoha, who later informed Shikamaru, who then finally told Kiba over a couple of beers at a shady establishment - shady for Konoha that is, meaning that the waitress wore lipstick - that apparently Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto were now gay for each other.
crack  voice  fun  naruto  via:scorpionvoices 
june 2014 by Teogli
Must Be The Truth - kitsune - Hockey RPF [Archive of Our Own]
Technically, Carey Price is out due to injury for this round of the playoffs. But when the team needs his skills the most, he and Dustin come through for them.
crack  bodyswap  gen  hockeyrpf 
june 2014 by Teogli
F is For Fandom (aka "No One Expects the Fannish Inquisition") - splash_the_cat - Stargate SG-1 [Archive of Our Own]
Daniel Jackson vs. Wormhole X-Treme fandom

Notes:

S9 ish. G. Some language. For Genfic Day 2014 Episode Alphabet Soup.
crack  fandom  sg1  gen  fun 
june 2014 by Teogli
But Also The Sex Thing - zamwessell (greencarnation) - X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) [Archive of Our Own]
Professor X and Magneto have a few additional instructions for Logan, as long as, you know, he's going to be back in time.

(I'm sorry, this is total crack.)
crack  shenanigans  xmen  movieverse 
june 2014 by Teogli
A Matter of Life and Death - Beth H (bethbethbeth) - Harry Potter - Rowling, Discworld - Terry Pratchett [Archive of Our Own]
In the end, Death comes for us all. For Severus Snape and Hermione Granger, it came with cups of tea and offers of employment.
crossover  hp  discworld  crack 
june 2014 by Teogli
take a step before running - magneticwave - Teen Wolf (TV), Hockey RPF [Archive of Our Own]
Stiles wants to win for America, okay? He wants to bone that constipated expression off of Derek Hale’s face on a bed strewn with American flags while Bruce Springsteen plays in the background and a bald eagle watches through the window with a single tear rolling down its cheek.

Notes:

So there was that post on Tumblr about how totally lacking this fandom is in hockey player / figure skater AUs, and while everyone seemed to agree that a Cutting Edge / Blades of Glory / Dancing with the Stars mash-up was what they wanted, that is not what this is at all.
au  hockeyrpf  crossover  crack  TeenWolf  olympics 
june 2014 by Teogli
But Also The Sex Thing by zamwessell (greencarnation)
Professor X and Magneto have a few additional instructions for Logan, as long as, you know, he's going to be back in time.
crack  hee!  xmen  shenanigans  short 
may 2014 by Teogli
Ever so slightly longer but not quite as thick: Toward a quantitative literary sexology of Harry Potter fanfiction - blythely, Circe_Tigana - Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Science - Fandom [Archive of Our Own]
Discussion regarding fanfiction tropes produced the observation that in one subset of Harry Potter fanfiction, "Harry/Draco slash" [HDS], Harry has a short, thick dick, while Draco's penis is long and thin. We tested the hypothesis that there was a consistent difference in how these two characters' genitalia were described. Additionally, we tested the hypothesis that slash fiction authors in this subset of fandom did not place equal emphasis on the description of testicles as compared with penii. We surveyed 100 HDS stories in online fanfiction archives and collected data on sexual description and content. Here we present the first quantitative test of fanon stereotypes and show that these explicitly sexual stories contain low levels of visual/sensory genital descriptions. Qualitative comparisons demonstrate trends in support of both hypotheses, although sample sizes prevent statistical significance. We use these findings to discuss how fanon may develop despite the incorrect assumption of perceived ubiquity.
fandom  harry/draco  meta  hp  hee!  academia  essay  crack  via:comenextmonday 
may 2014 by Teogli
London Skyline Recreated With Fruit and Vegetables – Eat Me Daily
Back in November, Carl Warner (responsible for many of the foodscape photographs you may have come across) was commissioned by the Good Food channel in the UK to make an edible version of the London skyline. The Houses of Parliament, the London Eye, the Tower Bridge, St Paul's Cathedral, and the Gherkin all get the treatment.
misc  crack  art  hee!  food 
may 2014 by Teogli
Failstaff - bessyboo, Petra - Hockey RPF [Archive of Our Own]
Patrick Kane tries to give a St. Crispin's Day speech and ends up as Falstaff. Sort of.
:::

The prank that Patrick Sharp relishes the most, when he's 85 and telling his great-grandchildren about the merry japes he got up to back in the good old days, is the time he accidentally talked Patrick Kane into standing on a table and yelling until he got laid
hockeyrpf  crack  silly  tazer/kaner  voice 
april 2014 by Teogli
twoearsandaheart: smoulderandbraids: because...
because who doesn’t need a super slow-mo vid of pkane highlights set to SWAN LAKE
kaner  vids  video  hockey  hockeyrpf  crack 
april 2014 by Teogli
Other Virtues - fizzysplosion - Dragon Age [Archive of Our Own]
Written for this prompt on the kink meme:

"Mage Freedom is secondary, Justice's top priority is protecting the virtue of his darling daughter Anders. And he takes this task very seriously indeed. Justice jumping on everyone with accusations of having impure thoughts about Anders, with Anders either oblivious or totally embarrassed. 100 internets for Justice being aggressively skeptical of Sebastian's vow of chastity, and/or "DON'T THINK I DON'T SEE HOW YOU LOOK AT HIM" to Fenris ("Mages must be watched" "A LIKELY STORY. I'VE GOT MY EYE ON YOU BOY"). Any protests should be met with "AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH ANDERS?" listing his accomplishments etc.
Is Justice seeing things, or are his suspicions correct? I don't care, I just want lulz!"
dragonage  crack 
march 2014 by Teogli
I Do Not Speak Tumblr, Ironfries’ TWELVE TINY STEBES. I named them. (ETA...
Important information: Carl and Grant are both girls. Well, they liked the names and Tony wasn’t aware when he let them pick their names.

Also, Ian’s name is actually Iannosaurus Rex.
fanart  crack  notfic  steve/tony  marvel  kid!fic  banter 
december 2013 by Teogli
Bet That I Can Make You Believe - angelsaves - Hockey RPF [Archive of Our Own]
Obviously, what the Blackhawks need to turn their slump around is some good old-fashioned sex magic. In which Brent Seabrook convinces Duncan Keith to do a spell with him. Nick Leddy might need some brain bleach.
duncs/seabs  crack  hee!  hockeyrpf  fun 
december 2013 by Teogli
This is the Sound - Chapter 1 - thekatcameback - Hockey RPF [Archive of Our Own]
Being an NHL rookie is pretty fucking hard; Taylor Hall also happens to be a super spy.
hockeyrpf  hallsy/ebs  crack 
december 2013 by Teogli
Three Things Patrick Kane Is No Longer Allowed To Do On A Roadtrip (Even If It Helps The Team Win) - antumbral - Hockey RPF, Sports RPF [Archive of Our Own]
There is a list. It lives on the luggage tag of Patrick Kane's suitcase, so he'll see it every time the team travels. The capital letters across the top of the list read: PATRICK, DON'T DO THIS.
gen  hockeyrpf  crack  5things  kaner 
november 2013 by Teogli
you should be honored by my lateness - hauntologie - Hockey RPF, Hip Hop RPF [Archive of Our Own]
Geno had put together a jersey for Kanye, a custom Pens jersey with West on the back and 1 as the number. "Because he best, Sid, see? Also, he like goalie. Weird, but important."
crack  fun  hockeyrpf  sid/geno  cute 
november 2013 by Teogli
▶ Where's the puck? Puck gets lost in Antti Niemi's Pads [HQ] - YouTube
The myriad duties of an NHL captain: Find lost pucks, collect stray pieces of cast-off gear, assist in-net births
crack  hee!  hockey  tazer  video 
november 2013 by Teogli
prepare yourself, ok
"He’s gonna fuck up my tarts," Nuge says glumly. "Asshole."

And then he sneezes again.
short  bodyswap  crack  hockeyrpf 
november 2013 by Teogli
Knit One Awe Some: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Standard pony pattern

School-age Pony pattern also available
misc  crack  animals  craft 
november 2013 by Teogli
discstuck drabbles - coldhope - Discworld - Terry Pratchett, Homestuck [Archive of Our Own]
“Not sickles, huh.” These aren’t half bad, these cocktail weenies. “Why a scythe?”

IT LOOKS BETTER IN THE WOODCUTS.
crossover  discworld  homestuck  ensemble  crack  fun  setting  action  character 
october 2013 by Teogli
wacko danger-sex - t34lbloods (perculious) - Homestuck [Archive of Our Own]
Based on this: "I really buy that Jake would be into hilariously improbable sex positions he would want their sex to be BADASS and CHALLENGING like SEX IN A HURRICANE"
crack  smut  homestuck  jake/dirk  character 
october 2013 by Teogli
Welcome to Stockholm - Not-Fic - Brad Marchand/Tyler Seguin - NC17
are they going the NHL awards in Vegas

because they'd get drunk married for sure

Brad just loves his bro, ok?
:::::

then they decide to go out and get a few beers because of the shock

14 hours later, they stumble back to their apartment with a just married written on Tyler's back in sharpie, and Brad is wearing a veil

neither of them know where their shirts went

neither does Deadspin, who have already found out about it

Tyler is badass
voice  crack  cute  hee!  dudebros  hockeyrpf  rarepair  marrage!fic  notfic 
october 2013 by Teogli
Two Forms of ID and a Pair of Witnesses - rsadelle - Hockey RPF [Archive of Our Own]
"You need two forms of ID," Eric says, looking at his phone. "I hope you brought your passport and your driver's license," like Sid would go anywhere without either of those. Like Sid's already said yes.

Notes:

I was feeling creatively blah and said I would take prompts for tiny snippets. [info]lakeeffectgirl suggested, "Sid and Jordy accidentally get married (somewhere in Canada, maybe? Break the Vegas mold.)." Adherence to the reality of how Canadian marriages work is as accurate as I could make it with the help of the internet; do not take this as legal advice.
cute  crack  marrage!fic  silly  sid  hockeyrpf  rarepair 
october 2013 by Teogli
Little Bear's Big Problem - coggs - Hockey RPF [Archive of Our Own]
All Sam Gagner wants is a nice Midwestern boy and maybe a dog. Instead Jeff Carter and Patrick Kane ruin his life.
:::

Um, don't even try to come up with a coherent reason for any of this, especially why all these people are interacting. And it's not necessarily to have read the first story, as long as you can accepted a universe where Patrick Kane is good at banging.

Basically, I read hanet's truly superior story young punks takin' shots, strippin' down to dirty socks and fell in love with Sam Gagner: The Only Moderately Intelligent Man on the Oilers (this is pre-Andrew Ference, of course).

So, naturally, I also had to write a story where he is besieged by idiots. But seriously, just read hanet's thing instead.
crack  silly  hee!  hockeyrpf  rarepair 
october 2013 by Teogli
Gamzee's Dream - YouTube
The weed wacker is symbolic of class struggle
crack  hee!  homestuck  vids  silly  fanart  comic 
october 2013 by Teogli
Fandom_wank Tenth Anniverary! :: list with links of the greatest wankers of all time.
For the enjoyment of the masses:

MOD ANNOUNCEMENT: Fandom_wank Tenth Anniverary! and within that post--dear God, it's like Christmas--is a list with links of the greatest wankers of all time.

We are talking horsefucker (his wife? a horse.), MsScribe, the Second Life dude with his unnatural feelings regarding his My Little Ponies, CrystalWank (pastede on yay!), Snapewives, LaptopGate, and frosting/icing wank, amongst many. With. Links.

It's all the magic you can handle. Some of it in the form of chaptered novels.

Staring into the abyss has never looked so good, and better, the laughter echoes.
fandom  meta  crack 
september 2013 by Teogli
puckling | Everyone's favorite game:: hockey or gay porn!!!
There is no way to properly play hockey or gay porn without a lengthy discussion of Tyler Seguin.
picspam  crack  hockey  hockeyrpf  pic  hee! 
september 2013 by Teogli
Cats. Where they do not belong.
I decided there is not enough internet space devoted to pictures of cats trying to fit into anything they can. So I have graciously decided to take on this challenge.
cats  crack  picspam  pic 
september 2013 by Teogli
Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combination - boosette - Star Trek (2009) [Archive of Our Own]
The one where Pike's yeoman is a plant, and where Starbase 9's department of personnel have it out for him.

:::::

Christopher looked back and forth between his new yeoman and Starbase 9's head of personnel. "What the hell does the record of my personal romantic relationships have to do with anything?"

"It is best to avoid any circumstance in which improprieties, imagined or otherwise, might arise, Captain," the bureaucrat said serenely.

Of course they did, but that did absolutely nothing toward changing the fact that the assignment of a biologically incompatible non-human as his yeoman implied, heavily, that those improprieties were expected.

"Imaginary improprieties, well," he replied, "that just changes everything."

"Starfleet Regulation 6-472b -- "

"I'm aware of the Kinsey Three Clause, Commander."
trek  crack  setting  worldbuilding  gen 
august 2013 by Teogli
Des Hommes et des Chatons
Cats and p*rn have got to be the two most searched keywords on the Internet, and finally there’s a whole page dedicated to both! “Des Hommes et des Chatons” tumblr page presents a hilarious series of diptychs showing hot guys and cats doing similar expressions and poses. And as if it wasn’t enough, the combinations include such celebrities as Johnny Depp, Ryan Gosling, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Pierce Brosnan.
cats  pic  picspam  crack  fun  misc 
august 2013 by Teogli
greensilver: Vid: What About Love (Youngblood) [epic eighties hocky hair!!]
A festivid for sisabet. This vid asks the question, what if Rob Lowe were a young hotshot on Patrick Swayze's hockey team and they fell in love, and also Rob Lowe walked around in a jock strap sometimes? Or as danegen put it in her festivid comment, "The hockey puck is love! DON'T THROW IT AWAY, ROB LOWE!"
crack  vids  hockeyrpf  hockey  misc 
august 2013 by Teogli
The Avengers › Crack!vid - YouTube
featuring The Loki Musical preview
omg I don't even know what happened don't remind me. Also I always imagine Loki singing opera or musical ever since Tony called him a diva I just can't think of anything else.
crack  fun  avengers  vids 
august 2013 by Teogli
Untitled RarePair Fest Fic - Toews/Oshie - im_not_a_lizard - Hockey RPF [Archive of Our Own]
Written for the prompt: TJ Oshie/Jonathan Toews - Several years and two Cups later, Tazer never really got over his college crush on TJ which is made worse when TJ is traded to the Blackhawks. Kaner is just trying be a bro and help these two crazy kids out. No really. He is. Honest. He is a master yenta. (But he's totally going to tweet the disaster of their courtship - with pictures- anyway.What? It's too good not to share.)
crack  tazer  hockeyrpf  rarepair 
july 2013 by Teogli
cherryice: Vid: Zoolander and I Know It [Zoolander]
Fandom: Zoolander
Music: Sexy and I Know It - LMFAO
Summary: Warning: This vid is really, really, ridiculously good looking.
crack  vids  misc  fun  action 
july 2013 by Teogli
Trollguide.wmv - YouTube
Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy entry under: Troll.
!!!  crack  fun  stylish  video  homestuck  vids  misc  crossover 
july 2013 by Teogli
[S] John: Just Lose it by ~PalaceOfChairs on deviantART
Finished after A WEEK and a HALF
A good grand finale to all Homestuck things on this account.
Okay okay okay real description.
At first I was just thinking I should draw more kids, not just trolls.
Then I remembered 'pajama time' from this song, and wanted to make a comic.
Then I wanted to animate this part.
Then I listened to the rest of the song and realized how motherfucking perfect this could be
homestuck  fanart  !!!  vids  crack  stylish 
july 2013 by Teogli
Burish And Sharpie Make A Porno - antumbral - Hockey RPF, Sports RPF [Archive of Our Own]
As road roommates and partners in crime, Burish and Sharpie consider it their god-given responsibility to torment the young stars on their team. One night, they get more then they bargained for.

Notes:

This was written during the 08-09 season, when Burish and Sharpie really were roommates and were the worst pranksters a team could ever hope to have. Toews and Kane were also roommates, and were frighteningly codependent. The title of this fic comes from the brilliant backcheck, who tagged her posts of Blackhawk TV's first season with 'burish and sharpie make a porno', and whose now-defunct journal was a source of joy and wonder back when the Hawks were still fumbling and flailing their way into the public consciousness.
crack  fun  outsiderpov  tazer/kaner  teamfic  blackhawks  hockeyrpf 
july 2013 by Teogli
st_xi_kink: DISCUSSION
God I hope someone nabs this one because mmm mmm "Live long and prosper you bunch of fuckers" Spock.
Sex pollen on the Enterprise!
PLEASE DO IT SO I DON'T HAVE TO BECAUSE SERIOUSLY I'M GOING TO GET BEAT UP ENOUGH IN GYM CLASS AS IT IS.
It's like we are all dirty intelligent science geeks who don't give a shit and love each other. IDK, IT'S AMAZING.
trek  trekxi  crack  meta  fandom 
july 2013 by Teogli
The Avengers Kink Meme in 30 lines (Humor)
Years ago, I found this on the Star Trek Kink Meme - http://st-xi-kink.livejournal.com/2050.html?thread=4245250

I’m not sure if this is real quotes or not, but please, this meme has 9 rounds now, so please make something like this. Gather 30 quotes or make some up yourself. The Avengers Kink Meme in 30 lines. GO!
crack  meta  fandom  avengers 
july 2013 by Teogli
fan_eunice | Vid Post: Papa Don't Preach (and you thought the dancing was bad)
So, [livejournal.com profile] greensilver and I may sometimes disagree, but there is one thing we stand absolutely united on. And that is our deep and heartfelt concern for Jack and his unplanned pregnancy. We couldn't just leave him an unwed mother like that, now could we? No, we could not. And so:

Song/Artist: Papa Don't Preach, Madonna
vids  crack  hee!  torchwood  mpreg 
july 2013 by Teogli
yo, ho, ho, and many bottles of rum - bestliar - Hockey RPF [Archive of Our Own]
When you read this, think of how tan Jeff Carter would be if he was a pirate, considering how tan he is as a hockey player while knowing that pirate is an occupation that involves exposure to sunlight.
::::

Mike is not a shitty pirate captain, and Jeff is a damn fine first mate. This whole getting marooned on a desert island thing is just a big misunderstanding.
au  pirates  crack  carts/richie  hockeyrpf  voice  short 
june 2013 by Teogli
i gotta know on Vimeo
horrible tears-inducing hockey feelings. GOD, JUST LET THEM PLAY HOCKEY ALREADY OKAY.

also warning: contains jeff skinner's horrible dimples, kaner shuffle, and like. hockey boys doing hockey things. it's four in the morning i don't even know

password:lockout
cute  fun  crack  silly  hockeyrpf  hockey  teamfic  vids 
june 2013 by Teogli
A Tale of Two Kaners - liketheroad - Hockey RPF [Archive of Our Own]
It was the best of Kanes, it was the worst of Kanes.

Notes:

To be clear, this is a story about fifteen-year-old Patrick Kane showing up in the 2013 post season, and then just sticking around while they all hide out in Sharpy's house and everyone has a lot of feelings.
kaner/tazer  hockeyrpf  crack  voice  teamfic  domestic  longing  sweet  smut  mmm  long  extralong 
june 2013 by Teogli
should've said no, should've gone home - nebulia - Hockey RPF [Archive of Our Own]
[He finally has to say, 'I'm not really into necking,' because Kaner keeps looking at the hickeys Tazer leaves behind. The look is clearly supposed to be get it, bro, but is really more like Kaner is going to hit Brandon over the head with a vase, punch Tazer in the nose, and then plop down on the floor and start crying. No one has called him on it yet, probably out of pity. Tazer, who is very gracious in bed, apologizes and promises to tone it down.

(Brandon loves necking. It's better than making out. The sacrifices he makes for orgasms.)]

The trials and tribulations of being a twenty-year-old hockey player getting laid by your captain, or why one should never think with one's dick, by Brandon Saad.

Notes:

a fic allegedly about how brandon saad and jonathan toews hook up, but really about blackhawks team dynamics and shower gel and threesomes. pretty silly.
teamfic  tazer/kaner  hockeyrpf  BROFEELS  fun  voice  crack  outsiderpov  rarepair 
june 2013 by Teogli
This Wouldn’t Happen in NASCAR - 77sparks - Generation Kill, Hockey RPF [Archive of Our Own]
“You assumed,” Ray says, trying his best to stay calm, but not doing a good job. “You thought baby producing hate sex was a reasonable assumption.”

Notes:

The existence of this story might actually be proof that we are living in the end of times. Also, for hockey people, this is definitely more of a GK story than a Hockey story.
crossover  generationkill  hockeyrpf  crack  silly  case-file  magic  ray/walt  tazer/kaner 
june 2013 by Teogli
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