Itsokaydean + ptsd!sam   19

If Found, Please Return; gwevyan
Or: the times Dean Winchester threatened to put a collar on his wayward little brother, the time he did, and the time he didn't need to. 
supernatural  sam&dean  *times  pre-series  S1  post-season5  Protective!Dean  hallucinating!sam  ptsd!sam  genre:hurt_comfort  archive:ao3  havepdf  rating:pg-13  genre:gen  author:gwevyan  10-15k  ~ 
january 2019 by Itsokaydean
till the cows come down the river; amonitrate
Sam’s never understood anything, not really, and Dean’s never wanted him to. But he always tries, even for the stuff Dean himself doesn’t understand. Dean’s never known what to do with that.
supernatural  sam&dean  genre:angst  genre:gen  s5  5.16!coda  unraveling!dean  panicattack!dean  worried!sam  rating:pg-13  havepdf  author:amonitrate  archive:lj  5-10k  ~  ptsd!dean  ptsd!sam 
august 2018 by Itsokaydean
Consider the Hairpin Turn; cherie_morte
AU of 6x22: Sam's wall has shattered and the memories in his mind have splintered. When the Sam who remembers Hell tells him to go find Jess and be happy, Sam knows he can't stay while Dean needs him. But when the Sam from Hell says that Dean is already there looking for him, Sam leaves his memories of the pit behind to find him.

What he finds is a life he doesn't remember: a house that he shares with his brother (and has for years), a law career he thought he'd left behind at Stanford, and a relationship with Dean he never dreamed he could have. Life is almost too good to be true, at least until Sam begins to hear his brother's voice calling to him, begging him to wake up.
supernatural  sam_dean  s6  6.22!coda  genre:angst  genre:hurt_comfort  genre:canon_divergence  worried!dean  Protective!Dean  ptsd!sam  postcage!Sam  brokenwall!sam  comapatient!sam  caretaker!dean  rescuer!dean  pining!sam  pining!dean  rating:nc-17  havepdf  archive:ao3  author:cherie_morte  25-30k  challenge:samdean_otp  ~ 
august 2018 by Itsokaydean
Run Run Riot; interflora
Turns out that Amelia isn't real - She was Sam's way of coping with Dean's "death". On Christmas, he and Dean stop by her to see her (and Riot), only to discover the truth. Sam goes into meltdown mode, and Dean has to calm him down. He also tries to figure out what really went down in the year he was gone
supernatural  sam_dean(implied)  hallucinating!sam  ptsd!sam  worried!dean  Protective!Dean  s8  guilty!dean  breakdown!sam  archive:ao3  havepdf  0-5k  genre:hurt_comfort  genre:angst  author:interflora  rating:pg-13  tissie  ~ 
march 2018 by Itsokaydean
Renovation; De_Nugis
It’s not like Dean never noticed Sam’s hands before. He’d taught Sam to pull a bowstring and a trigger and tighten a lug nut. He’d watched him obsess over his homework night after night, always holding the ballpoint a bit too tight, flesh whitening over his knuckles, as though someone was going to take the pen away. 
supernatural  sam_dean  established!relationship  S1  s6  post-season6  mute!Salm  broken!sam  boys!moveintogether  retired!fromhunting  postcage!Sam  ptsd!sam  caring!dean  woordworker!dean  firefighter!dean  physicallyhurt!dean  post-heartattack!sam  worried!dean  worried!sam  author:de_nugis  archive:ao3  havepdf  rating:nc-17  renovation_verse  tissie  15-20k  genre:hurt_comfort  genre:domestic  ~ 
april 2017 by Itsokaydean
The Paper Asks Nothing; ameliacareful
When Dean is possessed, Sam is frantic that Dean not experience what he knows possession to be like. Dean's experience of possession means not only loosing bodily autonomy but being tortured with his own worst memories and fears.
supernatural  sam&dean  s12  Possessed!Dean  ptsd!dean  ptsd!sam  hooker!dean  broken!sam  broken!dean  author:ameliacareful  rating:R  15-20k  havepdf  ~  physicallyhurt!dean  emotionallyhurt!sam  emotionallyhurt!dean  physicallyhurt!sam  genre:gen  genre:angst 
march 2017 by Itsokaydean
Chasing Rabbits; hellhoundsprey
The yellow wavelength is relatively long and essentially stimulating. In this case the stimulus is emotional, therefore yellow is the strongest color, psychologically. The right yellow will lift our spirits and our self-esteem; it is the color of confidence and optimism. Too much of it, or the wrong tone in relation to the other tones in a color scheme, can cause self-esteem to plummet, giving rise to fear and anxiety. Our “yellow streak” can surface.
supernatural  sam_dean  unrelated!boys  abused!sam_(past)  ptsd!sam  genre:au  genre:angst  selfharm!sam  dark!dean  teenager!sam  teenager!dean  druguser!dean  druguser!sam  addicted!sam  author:hellhoundsprey  archive:ao3  havepdf  5-10k  rating:nc-17  tissie  ~ 
march 2017 by Itsokaydean
An Anchor; themegalosaurus
“I can’t stop thinking,” Sam says, and the joke’s almost at Dean’s lips before he catches it, swallows it. Not now, not with Sam hovering fretful and indecisive and asking for something, the outline of which Dean is just starting to recognise through the fog of everything unspoken.

Post-imprisonment, Sam gets some bad news and doesn't take it too well. Dean tries to work out how to help.
supernatural  sam_dean  established!relationship  emotionallyhurt!sam  non-con_(implied)  worried!dean  helping!dean  kink:breathplay  guilty!sam  s12  ptsd!sam  selfharm!sam_(implied)  author:themegalosaurus  archive:ao3  havepdf  rating:nc-17  tissie  ~ 
february 2017 by Itsokaydean
The Night Is Somehow Smaller; laurificus
 Now, all he wants is an open road to somewhere better, following nothing but Dean's smile and the way he says Sam's name, necessary as salt lines and a shining thread to home.  (Post mystery spot)
supernatural  sam&dean  genre:gen  s3  3.11!coda  ptsd!sam  scared!sam  worried!sam  rating:pg  archive:lj  author:laurificus  genre:angst  havepdf  0-5k  tissie  ~ 
january 2017 by Itsokaydean
Half-crazy; teand
"If we're going to do this, it can't be with the end of a guitar string and ink dipped from a ball point pen." Dean risked taking his eyes off the road -- barely visible behind sheets of blowing rain -- to raise an eyebrow in his brother's general direction. "What the hell are you talking about?" Sam shrugged. "It's one of the traditional ways to do prison tats."

supernatural  sam_dean  established!relationship  tattoed!dean  tattoed!sam  postdeal!dean  author:teand  havepdf  Protective!Sam  ptsd!sam  genre:humor  5-10k  s3  archive:lj  rating:nc-17  tissie  ~  kink:tattoo 
april 2016 by Itsokaydean
Enough of its Glory Remains; balefully
Every war has casualties, and Sam and Dean are nothing if not warriors. Scarred both mentally and physically, they find themselves settling into civilian life in Berkeley Springs, West Virginia among the charming townspeople, local history, and peaceful mountain views. Sam finds work at an auto shop and Dean stumbles into a job at the occult bookstore on Main Street with a familiar grimmoire in the window. Things are deceptively quiet as they patch each other up and come to terms with domesticity, the only contact with their old life a quest to rebuild Bobby's library -- until a case crosses their path, the kind they thought they were done with forever. They find themselves once again fighting a vengeful spirit as well as their deeper feelings for each other. Only one is a battle they can win.
sam_dean  physicallyhurt!dean  physicallyhurt!sam  emotionallyhurt!dean  emotionallyhurt!sam  genre:domestic  retired!fromhunting  supernatural  ptsd!dean  mechanic!sam  bookstoreclerk!dean  rating:nc-17  archive:lj  havepdf  author:balefully  genre:casefic  tissie  ~  first-time  ptsd!sam  20-25k  challenge:bigbang 
february 2016 by Itsokaydean
Darkness Shall Follow; faye_darthmouth
It doesn't matter who it is. It just matters that it's not both of them. That he's going to save one and probably condemn the other. This destroys him either way
supernatural  pre-series  hypothermic!sam  hurt!sam  hurt!dean  hurt!john  rating:pg-13  author:faye_darthmouth  needspdf  ptsd!dean  ptsd!sam  buriedalive!sam  buriedalive!dean  worried!john  bamf!john 
october 2015 by Itsokaydean

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