Itsokaydean + archive:ao3 + emotionallyhurt!sam   57

a history of violence; lyryk (s_k)
Sometimes the problem, Sam thinks, is that there are no rulebooks about how to be your brother’s ex.
supernatural  sam_dean  genre:angst  angry!dean  emotionallyhurt!sam  emotionallytired!sam  s8  boys!breakup  archive:ao3  havepdf  rating:pg-13  author:lyryk  0-5k  challenge:spn_j2_xmas  ~ 
may 2019 by Itsokaydean
Ticks Like a Time Bomb; faequeentitania
Sam grew up with Dean's heavy breath as a lullaby. Every night, steady as clockwork. There are few things in the world that could frighten him the way the quiet from Dean's bed can. Coda for S01E12, "Faith."
supernatural  sam_dean(implied)  S1  1.12!coda  sick!Dean  physicallyhurt!dean  Protective!Sam  worried!sam  emotionallyhurt!sam  havepdf  rating:pg-13  author:faequeentitania  archive:ao3  0-5k  ~ 
march 2019 by Itsokaydean
+ The Witch Is Dead; dear_tiger
In 1988, three witches in Montana are growing a monster in their garden, and Sam is holiday snack. When Dean and John show up to get him, one witch is killed, and Dean gets a love curse that he keeps secret. As teenagers, Sam and Dean are living in a dying industrial town in Pennsylvania, where they come across a crooked old creature that takes an unusual interest in Dean. As adults, Sam and Dean return to Montana for a hunt and run into the two surviving witches who have been unsuccessfully trying to grow their monster. Dean, still carrying the love spell from the dead witch, is looking like perfect plant feed.
supernatural  sam_dean  genre:angst  genre:casefic  genre:hurt_comfort  physicallyhurt!sam  emotionallyhurt!sam  cursed!dean  rescuer!sam  rescuer!dean  rescuer!john  pre-series  kidnapped!sam  archive:ao3  havepdf  rating:nc-17  author:dear_tiger  physicallyhurt!dean  30-40k  genre:horror  witch_verse  challenge:bigbang  ~  + 
february 2019 by Itsokaydean
The Inside Man; Balder12
Post-9.02. Sam and Kevin have both been suffering from memory loss since the Trials ended, and Dean is acting strangely. Sam suspects a supernatural cause, but Kevin's not so sure either one of them has a firm grasp on reality. Or: another way the Ezekiel arc could have played out.
supernatural  sam&dean  genre:gen  genre:angst  s9  9.02!coda  genre:canon_divergence  gadreel!sam  scared!sam  scared!kevin  physicallyhurt!dean  emotionallyhurt!sam  lying!dean  post-trials!sam  archive:ao3  havepdf  rating:pg-13  author:balder12  15-20k  challenge:reversebang  ~ 
january 2019 by Itsokaydean
a long hard day, a long hard night; deadlybride
When Dean’s body disappears from his bedroom after Metatron kills him, Sam nearly goes crazy looking for him—torturing demons, ruining relationships with other hunters, trying anything at all that will help. Digging through the Men of Letters archives, he finally finds a ritual that might bring Dean back. The cost isn’t something he worries about; when it comes to Dean, no cost is too high.
supernatural  sam_dean  established!relationship  moc!dean  s10  boyking!sam  physicallyhurt!sam  emotionallyhurt!sam  emotionallyhurt!dean  genre:angst  genre:horror  sam!savesdean  archive:ao3  havepdf  rating:nc-17  author:deadlybride  challenge:*bang  30-40k  ~ 
november 2018 by Itsokaydean
+ True Blue; nasri
It’s between the flicker of her silver plated lighter and Ellen’s first inhale that Dean sees him. His hair is long, longer than their father would have ever allowed it, styled back behind his ears and sun-streaked auburn. Adrenaline tunnels Dean’s vision with each inhale and dulls the sound of Ellen’s voice until all he can think is that Sammy’s childhood wish came true, because he has a solid few inches on Dean in each damn direction.
supernatural  sam_dean  genre:angst  genre:hurt_comfort  genre:au  thief!dean  undercover!sam  movieremakes  pining!sam  pining!dean  boys!settledown  physicallyhurt!dean  physicallyhurt!sam  emotionallyhurt!sam  emotionallyhurt!dean  archive:ao3  havepdf  rating:pg-13  author:nasri  25-30k  ~  + 
november 2018 by Itsokaydean
The Devil's Voice is Sweet to Hear; monicawoe
Sam saw Lucifer everywhere. He knew he was crazy. Dean and Bobby knew he was crazy. He'd never questioned it, never thought it could possibly get worse -- until the day he realized he'd never been crazy to begin with. The thing about being an archangel's vessel is that once you say yes it's forever. It didn't matter that Lucifer was still in his Cage. He had an open line to Sam, and so he amused himself by making Sam see him.
supernatural  sam&dean  genre:gen  genre:angst  lucifer!sam  sam!talksw/lucifersvoice  physicallyhurt!dean  emotionallyhurt!sam  worried!dean  s7  archive:ao3  havepdf  rating:pg-13  author:monicawoe  challenge:sharp_teeth  0-5k  ~ 
august 2018 by Itsokaydean
Never done with killing time (I'd like it if you stayed); Trojie
Dean's life has a rhythm and it's counting down. His bucket list is pretty much done and it hasn't helped. Seventeen days to go, and Sam slides into his bed.
supernatural  sam_dean  established!relationship  emotionallyhurt!sam  emotionallyhurt!dean  postdeal!dean  s3  scared!sam  scared!dean  genre:angst  genre:hurt_comfort  archive:ao3  havepdf  rating:nc-17  author:trojie  0-5k  challenge:hoodie_time  ~ 
july 2018 by Itsokaydean
I Feel it Way Down (way down); formalizing
Dean eventually gets out of hell, but angels have nothing to do with it. Sam is willing to make a lot of exceptions to his morals and principles in order to have his brother back. (AU after season 3)
supernatural  sam_dean  post-hell!dean  post-season3  demon!dean  dark!dean  abused!sam  sexuallyabused!sam  tw:dub-con  physicallyhurt!sam  emotionallyhurt!sam  dysfunctional!boys  genre:angst  genre:canon_divergence  archive:ao3  havepdf  rating:R  author:formalizing  0-5k  ~ 
july 2018 by Itsokaydean
Beneath the Red Hills; sowell
Five years ago, Sam Winchester failed the final trial, sending both brothers to opposite sides of the country. When Dean vanishes without a trace, Sam must figure out how to find his estranged brother and save a small town from the serial killer that's been terrorizing it.
supernatural  sam_dean  post-season8  boys!breakup  boys!getbacktogether  genre:angst  genre:casefic  rescuer!sam  physicallyhurt!dean  emotionallyhurt!sam  emotionallyhurt!dean  physicallyhurt!sam  trials!sam  post-trials!sam  angry!sam  angry!dean  resigned!dean  stubborn!sam  helping!castiel  jealous!sam  archive:ao3  havepdf  rating:nc-17  challenge:bigbang  author:sowell  20-25k  ~ 
june 2018 by Itsokaydean
Before you're lost between the notes; SinOfPride
“Dean, please, I’m sorry,” Sam whispered, voice a shaky whisper, but he still wasn’t moving away and Dean didn’t know what Sam expected from him. What the next step was.
supernatural  sam_dean  first-time  4.04!coda  boys!argue  determined!sam  exhausted!dean  physicallyhurt!dean  emotionallyhurt!dean  emotionallyhurt!sam  post-hell!dean  archive:ao3  havepdf  rating:nc-17  5-10k  genre:angst  genre:hurt_comfort  author:sinofpride  ~ 
may 2018 by Itsokaydean
+ Captured by the Game; rivkat
AU. Azazel has given his favorite son a task: worm his way into the confidence of a hunter. It sounds simple, but Dean Winchester just might be more than Sam can handle.
supernatural  sam_dean  au:raisedseparately  evil!sam  oblivious!dean  pining!sam  pining!dean  genre:angst  genre:hurt_comfort  genre:canon_divergence  S1  archive:ao3  havepdf  author:rivkat  rating:nc-17  ~  +  physicallyhurt!dean  physicallyhurt!sam  emotionallyhurt!dean  emotionallyhurt!sam  50-60k 
may 2018 by Itsokaydean
This Far, No Further; nwspaprtaxis
Stabbing a Leviathan-filled angel isn't something someone can just recover from. Especially when he has a brain full of Hell before he even makes the attempt. Dean cares for his catatonic, insane little brother. And angsts. And barely copes.
supernatural  sam&dean  genre:angst  genre:horror  characterdeath_(dean)  characterdeath_(sam)  boys!gotoheaven  s7  brokenwall!sam  physicallyhurt!sam  emotionallyhurt!sam  emotionallyhurt!dean  suicidal!dean  dean!killssam  archive:ao3  havepdf  rating:R  author:nwspaprtaxis  5-10k  challenge:*bang  ao3!collection  lilbrorec  tissie  ~ 
april 2018 by Itsokaydean
since feeling is first; queenklu
That he wants to think this is Dean yanking a leash should make his blood run cold, not aching hot. It should make him sick, angry, it should get his fucking hackles up and make him fight.

He does want to fight. But there’s a skin-thin line between primal things, and fighting isn’t all he wants to do.
supernatural  sam_dean  first-time  first-kiss  genre:hurt_comfort  genre:angst  genre:domestic  boys!settledown  retired!fromhunting  postcage!Sam  post-season6  pining!sam  pining!dean  sam!obeysorders  emotionallyhurt!sam  worried!dean  archive:ao3  havepdf  rating:nc-17  author:queenklu  10-15k  tissie  lilbrorec  ~ 
april 2018 by Itsokaydean
Hit the Ground Crawling; jonny_vrm (elmo_loves_me)
After Sam pulls Dean out of Hell, Dean stops talking. It takes a week for Sam to convince Dean to open his mouth so Sam can check that his tongue hasn't been cut out. It takes two weeks for Sam to accept that Dean really isn't talking. Then it takes a week of silence, the two of them sitting in the Impala like ventriloquist dummies, sitting in motel rooms like human taxidermy, before Sam decides to start talking for the both of them
supernatural  sam_dean  first-time  genre:angst  genre:hurt_comfort  electivemutism!dean  post-hell!dean  sam!savesdean  physicallyhurt!dean  emotionallyhurt!sam  genre:casefic  archive:ao3  havepdf  rating:nc-17  sam!leaves  challenge:bigbang  author:jonny_vrm  25-30k  tissie  ~ 
march 2018 by Itsokaydean
Quiet with the Rain; Linden
Dean can spot an undercover cop at thirty paces, a hooker at twenty, and rims that will match his baby's at ten. But the fact that his little brother is in love with him--that, he can't see worth a damn.
supernatural  sam&dean  unrequited!sam(dean)  pre-series  emotionallyhurt!sam  Protective!Dean  pining!sam  genre:hurt_comfort  genre:schmoop  rating:pg-13  author:linden  havepdf  archive:ao3  5-10k  tissie  ~ 
march 2018 by Itsokaydean
You want me to act like we've never kissed; withdiamonds
Amnesia ahead! It's 2015, and Sam and Dean are settled in a small town in Ohio. They're doing just fine, with only the occasional nightmares about Hell to bother them. There's even a ghost to hunt now and again, and while they're pretty much alone in the world, at least they have each other - until an accident threatens to take even that away.
supernatural  sam_dean  established!relationship  boys!getbacktogether  boys!settledown  amnesiac!dean  archive:ao3  havepdf  rating:R  20-25k  author:withdiamonds  challenge:samdean_otp  tissie  ~  physicallyhurt!dean  emotionallyhurt!sam  genre:domestic 
february 2018 by Itsokaydean
The Little Artist That Could; dimeliora
Sam manages to claim the Big Bang of his favorite fanfiction author. Dean's last Big Bang gets claimed by an unknown, incredibly bad, but earnest artist.
supernatural  sam_dean  pining!sam  pining!dean  writer!dean  artist!sam  emotionallyhurt!sam  guilty!dean  archive:ao3  kink:roleplay  kink:rimming  kink:double!penetration  rating:nc-17  author:dimeliora  havepdf  tissie  5-10k  ~ 
january 2018 by Itsokaydean
One Saved Message; ratherastory
After a hunting accident puts Sam out of commission for a couple of days, Dean decides to surprise his brother with a new phone, since his old one is toast. Even better is when he finds that he’s been able to save all of Sam’s old information and restore it to his cell. That’s when he discovers an old voicemail that Sam has kept saved for the last two and a half years.
supernatural  sam&dean  post-season7  voicemail!fix-it  Protective!Dean  physicallyhurt!sam  emotionallyhurt!sam  blindsided!dean  archive:ao3  havepdf  author:ratherastory  rating:pg-13  genre:gen  genre:hurt_comfort  5-10k  tissie  ~ 
january 2018 by Itsokaydean
Behold, A Pale Horse; cherie_morte
AU after 8x23: When Sam fails to complete the third trial, a tear in the barrier between Earth and Hell is created and hellspawn called shadon are unleashed. The only way to bind these creatures and close the gates of Hell is for a sacrifice to be made by the man who chose his own life over completing the trials, and this time, the price is even greater. In order to correct the apocalypse he's released, Sam must kill his soulmate and live with the consequences. After years without Dean, Sam dies on a hunt and thinks he will finally be reunited with his brother in Heaven. But when his reaper appears, it's Dean himself, and he's not as willing to reap Sam as Sam is to be reaped
supernatural  sam_dean  characterdeath_(temporary)  characterdeath_(dean)  characterdeath_(sam)  death!dean  sam!keepshunting  sam!keepsdying  reaper!dean  suicidal!sam  s8  Protective!Dean  sam!killsdean  post-trials!sam  rating:nc-17  author:cherie_morte  archive:ao3  havepdf  tissie  ~  physicallyhurt!dean  genre:angst  emotionallyhurt!dean  physicallyhurt!sam  emotionallyhurt!sam  15-20k  challenge:*bang 
january 2018 by Itsokaydean
Touch and Go; themegalosaurus
Tag to 9.19 (Alex Annie Alexis Ann) in which Dean realises why, exactly, Sam is so angry about what happened with Gadreel.
supernatural  sam&dean  physicallyhurt!sam  emotionallyhurt!sam  worried!dean  postgadreel!sam  guilty!dean  tattoed!sam  archive:ao3  9.19!coda  s9  author:themegalosaurus  rating:pg-13  havepdf  genre:angst  0-5k  ~ 
january 2018 by Itsokaydean
(The Weather) Outside is Frightful; monicawoe
They all had to do a shift at the lookout tower once a month — that’s just how it worked. But Risa's shift had definitely come up sooner in rotation than usual
supernatural  lucifer!sam  emotionallyhurt!sam  setting:endverse  genre:angst  grieving!sam  archive:ao3  author:monicawoe  genre:gen  challenge:spn_j2_xmas  havepdf  rating:pg-13  tissie  0-5k  ~ 
january 2018 by Itsokaydean
Five Weeks; rei_c
It's seven pm, January twenty-fourth, and Jessica Moore is sitting on her couch with a crying omega in her lap.
supernatural  sam_dean  Sam_Jess  au:alpha/beta/omega  alpha!dean  alpha!jess  omega!sam  emotionallyhurt!sam  pining!sam  suicidal!sam  protective!jess  archive:ao3  genre:angst  author:rei_c  rating:R  havepdf  tissie  ~  5-10k  lilbrorec 
november 2017 by Itsokaydean
Living on Flood Tides; cherie_morte
AU after 5x22: Sam mysteriously returns from the cage and Dean thinks their problems are solved. Unfortunately, Sam is so shaken from his time in Hell that he can't—won't?—even talk to Dean, and when natural disasters begin to occur as frequently as they did when the Devil was walking the Earth, Dean realizes his brother may have acquired some of the angel's powers without picking up the ability to control them. In order to prevent Sam from hurting anyone, Dean finds a house as far from anything as he can manage and settles there to wait until the day Sam gets better—or until they both get killed by Sam's grace.
supernatural  sam_dean  genre:angst  established!relationship  postcage!Sam  post-season5  emotionallyhurt!sam  physicallyhurt!sam  abused!sam_(past)  hallucinating!sam  powers!Sam  hallucifer  non-con_(reference)  non-con_(past)  Protective!Dean  archive:ao3  havepdf  rating:nc-17  tissie  challenge:samdean_otp  15-20k  ~ 
august 2017 by Itsokaydean
The world around me crashed and burned; darkly_ironic
Sam turns up on her doorstep less than twenty-four hours after she hears the news about Dick Roman’s disappearance. Spoilers through 8x1
supernatural  s8  grieving!sam  protective!jody  genre:gen  paula  emotionallyhurt!sam  eatingissues!sam  archive:ao3  rating:pg-13  author:darkly_ironic  0-5k  challenge:*bingo  ~ 
july 2017 by Itsokaydean
I'm Still an Animal; thatsakitkat
But Dean loves Sam, loves his knot too because it makes his orgasm feel like fucking magic, but it's the post part that he's not crazy about. Just, stuck to Sam, who's high on the resultant endorphins and turns into a complete mess of sap and sweet and soft kisses and words pressed into Dean's neck.
supernatural  sam_dean  genre:angst  genre:pwp  established!relationship  omega!dean  au:alpha/beta/omega  misunderstanding  emotionallyhurt!sam  tw:non-con_(attempted)  rating:nc-17  archive:ao3  author:thatsakitkat  havepdf  tissie  5-10k  challenge:kinkmeme  ~ 
may 2017 by Itsokaydean
Skin Like Fear; fantamae
Here's the thing: Sam comes back from Hell with a bubble of space around him. He doesn't want to be touched, especially by Dean, and he won't explain. He won't talk about Hell at all, and Dean's going crazy. It's going to take a strange case (and a little magic) in Michigan to break the floodgates, but when Dean finally learns the truth, he might wish that he hadn't...
supernatural  sam_dean  Sam_Lucifer  tw:non-con_(past)  postcage!Sam  sexuallyabused!sam(past)  tortured!sam  first-time  hallucinating!sam  worried!dean  Protective!Dean  rescuer!dean  author:fantamae  rating:nc-17  archive:ao3  havepdf  tissie  ~  genre:casefic  genre:angst  emotionallyhurt!sam  15-20k  challenge:samdean_otp 
april 2017 by Itsokaydean
And indeed there will be time; Greta
Sam and Dean take a break from hunting, settling in a seaside town in Maine. Dean fixes cars; Sam gets a gig as an agony-aunt on the radio, and all things considered, life should be simpler. It isn't.
supernatural  sam_dean  established!relationship  estranged!boys  retired!fromhunting  boys!getbacktogether  worried!dean  worried!sam  emotionallyhurt!sam  mechanic!dean  dj!sam  havepdf  author:gretazreta  archive:ao3  rating:R  tissie  genre:angst  5-10k  challenge:spn_j2_xmas  ~ 
april 2017 by Itsokaydean
An Anchor; themegalosaurus
“I can’t stop thinking,” Sam says, and the joke’s almost at Dean’s lips before he catches it, swallows it. Not now, not with Sam hovering fretful and indecisive and asking for something, the outline of which Dean is just starting to recognise through the fog of everything unspoken.

Post-imprisonment, Sam gets some bad news and doesn't take it too well. Dean tries to work out how to help.
supernatural  sam_dean  established!relationship  emotionallyhurt!sam  non-con_(implied)  worried!dean  helping!dean  kink:breathplay  guilty!sam  s12  ptsd!sam  selfharm!sam_(implied)  author:themegalosaurus  archive:ao3  havepdf  rating:nc-17  tissie  ~ 
february 2017 by Itsokaydean
I'd Gladly Lose Me To Find You; flawedamythyst
Sam takes a vow of silence in order to pull Dean out of Hell, but by the time Dean comes back, Sam's lost more of himself than just his voice. Splits off completely from canon after the season 3 finale.
supernatural  sam_dean  first-time  electivemutism!sam  sam!savesdean  retired!fromhunting  rating:nc-17  Protective!Sam  worried!sam  author:flawedamythyst  archive:ao3  havepdf  tissie  ~  s3  genre:canon_divergence  characterdeath_(dean)  characterdeath_(temporary)  genre:domestic  genre:angst  genre:hurt_comfort  physicallyhurt!dean  emotionallyhurt!sam  30-40k 
january 2017 by Itsokaydean
Flying Weight; fleshflutter
Sam wakes after being soulless for three years to discover that Dean and his relationship with him have undergone some serious changes. Through traveling and hunting with Dean, Sam struggles to put his life back together after events he has only limited memory of. A season six wincest AU
supernatural  sam_dean  tw:non-con_(past)  soulless!sam  vampire!dean  s6  genre:angst  angry!dean  clueless!sam  author:fleshflutter  havepdf  archive:ao3  rating:nc-17  kidnapped!sam  physicallyhurt!sam  emotionallyhurt!sam  physicallyhurt!dean  emotionallyhurt!dean  40-50k  challenge:bigbang  tissie  ~ 
january 2017 by Itsokaydean
You Took My Body and Played to Win; Eugara
Tag to The Foundry (12x03). Sam’s used to it by now. Really. It’s not the first time this has happened to him, or the tenth. Hell, it’s not even the hundredth, as shitty as it is to admit. And honestly, this one wasn’t as bad as the others. Not even close. Not by a mile. Sam’s used to it by now. He is. He…should be used to it by now
supernatural  sam_dean  established!relationship  s12  tw:non-con_(implied)  author:eugara  archive:ao3  havepdf  rating:pg-13  tissie  ~  genre:angst  5-10k  emotionallyhurt!sam  12.03!coda 
october 2016 by Itsokaydean

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