FearMeForIAmPink + the-daily-mash   29

Human Rights Act to be replaced with Warhammer rulebook
"If you are claiming a right to privacy, for example, we roll two twenty-sided dice to determine your score, take away any debuffs – low income, being foreign – and measure it against the government’s own total."
amusing  parody  The-Daily-Mash  silly  Westminster  human-rights  Warhamster  Gaming  minature-wargames 
may 2015 by FearMeForIAmPink
Hot water with bag floating in it not a cup of tea
“Drinks retailers treat coffee drinkers like cherished, fussy children, giving them a zillion pretentious, intricate options involving frothy milk and syrups.

Tea drinkers, by contrast, get a cup of nuclear-temperature water with a deflated paper testicle floating on it."
amusing  The-Daily-Mash  tea  UK  tea-is-important-dammit  silly 
july 2014 by FearMeForIAmPink
Zuckerberg dies turning Facebook back on
'Internet user Tom Logan said: “That’s cool but I was momentarily inconvenienced so fuck him and Facebook, I’m 100 per cent Twitter now.”'
amusing  silly  parody  Facebook  social-media  The-Daily-Mash  technology 
june 2014 by FearMeForIAmPink
‘Bring back British hand swearing’
We should be swearing by showing our foes we can still shoot them with an arrow!
amusing  parody  swearing  culture  The-Daily-Mash  via-James-Graham 
june 2014 by FearMeForIAmPink
Edinburgh trams ‘worth 400 year wait’
'Original plans for the Edinburgh tram system were drawn up shortly after King James VI united Scotland and England into the Union of the Crowns in 1603'
amusing  transport  silly  history  Scotland  Edinburgh  The-Daily-Mash  parody 
june 2014 by FearMeForIAmPink
£50 notes no longer illegal tender
"Check old attaché cases, duffel bags and the emergency stash for when the shit goes down to make sure you don’t end up tens of thousands out of pocket"
amusing  parody  The-Daily-Mash  life-imitates-Shadowrun  money 
april 2014 by FearMeForIAmPink
Oh shit, say tube drivers
They need a new 'Person to Scare the Shit Out of Capitalists'
amusing  The-Daily-Mash  parody  unions  employment  UK  politics  London 
march 2014 by FearMeForIAmPink
Britain somehow manages to drag itself away from the curling
'Millions of workers congratulated each other on their strength of character and pledged mutual support until they can rush home and immerse themselves once more in the icy drama.'
amusing  silly  The-Daily-Mash  parody  sport  curling 
february 2014 by FearMeForIAmPink
Britain could miss out on crazy, pointless war with China, says important American
“Your military will be dropping food from its only helicopter while the US Marines are surging towards Shanghai for reasons that will never be fully explained."
amusing  The-Daily-Mash  parody  War  USA  military  UK  China 
january 2014 by FearMeForIAmPink
TV adverts to be just picture of thing, name of thing
“You’ll buy our product anyway. We only spend money on advertising because otherwise we would literally drown in cash.”
amusing  The-Daily-Mash  parody  design  image  advertising 
january 2014 by FearMeForIAmPink
George Osborne to announce cuts while covered in diamonds
'The chancellor is upping his game in response to the Prime Minister’s declaration of permanent austerity amid the gilded splendour of the lord mayor’s banquet.'
Conservatives  The-Daily-Mash  UK  amusing  austerity  benefits  government  parody 
november 2013 by FearMeForIAmPink
Prince George rejects Christianity
He was also heard to comment "But *why* can't I call him 'not-Mum'? It describes him perfectly...
religion  babies  silly  the-monarchy  Christianity  amusing  UK  The-Daily-Mash 
october 2013 by FearMeForIAmPink
Parents celebrate end of nightmare
I think my favourite bit is the last paragraph. Does that make me a bad person?
posttofacebook  parody  pah-har-tah-hay!  amusing  alcohol  children  The-Daily-Mash  culture  parenting 
september 2013 by FearMeForIAmPink
Vikings were just fantasy role-players
'Hrothgar claimed his double-headed axe gave him +4 Pillage Points but this is patently not correct'
silly  parody  tabletop-RPGs  gaming  amusing  image  Vikings  The-Daily-Mash  culture  rpgs 
august 2013 by FearMeForIAmPink
Storm over London may be connected to doom-laden event
'the universe was warning mankind that a malevolent entity had emerged into the world.'
silly  birth  posttofacebook  parody  amusing  monarchy  weather  UK  The-Daily-Mash 
july 2013 by FearMeForIAmPink
People who don’t like cricket are wrong, say experts
Cricket is great because you can fall asleep for half an hour or so whilst watching it, and not worry that you've missed anything important when you wake up.
silly  posttofacebook  parody  amusing  cricket  sport  Australia  UK  The-Daily-Mash 
july 2013 by FearMeForIAmPink
Children of unmarried parents to just run around doing murders
'ALL children born after 2022 will be born out of wedlock, and lead a life of devoid of any morals'
silly  posttofacebook  parody  amusing  children  The-Daily-Mash  marriage  culture  parenting 
july 2013 by FearMeForIAmPink
Non-baby news events crunched into this week
'A BBC spokesman said: “We’re working with the Illuminati and other shady puppeteers to accelerate world happenings and ‘clear the decks for baby’.'
journalism  silly  posttofacebook  parody  the-monarchy  amusing  news  UK  The-Daily-Mash  culture 
july 2013 by FearMeForIAmPink
Iron Maiden fans somehow immune to self-consciousness epidemic
'“In an age where literally everything has to be arch, knowing, witty or retro, Iron Maiden fans somehow still don’t give a fuck.'
music  posttofacebook  parody  heavy-metal  amusing  alternative-culture  The-Daily-Mash  culture 
april 2013 by FearMeForIAmPink
Ed Miliband to join Scooby Doo Gang
'admitted last night that his brother David becoming the head of International Rescue is more impressive than him becoming prime minister. But he now believes he can leapfrog his brother by joining an organisation that has a much better 'hit-rate' in apprehending evil-doers'
politics  silly  posttofacebook  parody  amusing  westminster  The-Daily-Mash  cartoons 
march 2013 by FearMeForIAmPink
Tories beaten by ‘perfect storm’ of Huhne, Rennard and nutjobs
'THE Tories admitted there was no way they could have won the Eastleigh by-election as their opponents were either mired in scandal or completely insane.'
amusing  parody  The-Daily-Mash  politics  by-elections  voting  Conservatives  Lib-Dems  UKIP  Westminster  posttofacebook 
march 2013 by FearMeForIAmPink
Britain declared uninhabitable
“The weather is obviously a huge concern but Christmas adverts, middle class angst and the presence of Ed Balls’ face also make Britain a humanitarian crisis.
amusing  The-Daily-Mash  weather  UK  culture  disaster  parody  posttofacebook 
december 2012 by FearMeForIAmPink
OK, we'll get jobs, say poor people | The Daily Mash
'finally conceded defeat and vowed to find work first thing this morning.'
poverty  money  posttofacebook  The-Daily-Mash  fairness  parody  amusing 
january 2012 by FearMeForIAmPink

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