Beatrice_Otter + humor   159

Things You Missed in History Class
Having traveled back in time, Rey and Finn have decided to set right what once went wrong. Too bad they have no idea what actually once went wrong.
fic  star.wars  sequel.trilogy  time.travel  fix-it  finn  rey  humor  shortfic 
9 weeks ago by Beatrice_Otter
M is for Murder
I’m pretty low on funds and need to make ends meet this month, Barnes types slowly into a new post three days later. I’m taking commissions for hits in the New York City area.

Will Not Kill: Captain America or other Avengers.
Will partially refund payment if target turns out to be HYDRA.
Will not go to Jersey. No dismemberment or killing children.
Message for negotiations and payment details.
avengers  crack  humor  slash  fic  captain.america  bucky.barnes  shortfic 
12 weeks ago by Beatrice_Otter
You Just Had To Make It Weird
Steve and Sam are in the middle of nowhere, the absolute opposite of civilisation, just following a lead on Hydra and checking in to a cheap hotel and finding an awesome diner with great food and even better looking pie.

Then Bucky Barnes turns up and ruins everything.
fic  marvel  captain.america  post.winter.soldier  au  sam.wilson  steve.rogers  bucky.barnes  phil.coulson  humor 
july 2019 by Beatrice_Otter
Your Basis for Comparison
Even Tim has to admit that the pint-sized kid comes in handy sometimes …
fic  DC  batman  damian.wayne  tim.drake  humor  shortfic 
february 2019 by Beatrice_Otter
playacting
“So,” Jim said, “are you one of Wayne’s new kids?” Because only siblings acted that way toward each other, and it seemed like every time Gotham turned around, Bruce Wayne was adopting more kids. It was a reasonable question.

“What?” Jay asked. “No, I’m—” He paused. Very slowly, his head tilted as he looked over Jim’s shoulder in the most obvious way he possibly could.

Jim Gordon accidentally meets the "newest" member of the Wayne family.
fic  DC  batman  jim.gordon  jason.todd  tim.drake  humor  shortfic 
october 2018 by Beatrice_Otter
where the dread fern grows
Sam's gotta buy a wedding present, and nothing but elf booze will do.
fic  au  gen  humor  marvel  captain.america  post.winter.soldier  sam.wilson  bucky.barnes 
september 2018 by Beatrice_Otter
Remus Lupin, a Werewolf? Gasp! Who Knew?
The clues were there and they were not impossible to put together. A person didn’t have to be breathtakingly clever and named Hermione Granger to realize that Professor Remus Lupin was a werewolf. The regular absences were covered up well and then explained away with the dismissive ease of someone who had been making these excuses all their life, but there were still students who could take a break from their own busy lives just long enough to make the necessary leap of logic.
fic  gen  humor  harry.potter  outsider.perspective  shortfic 
september 2018 by Beatrice_Otter
The Transfiguration Incident, Or Pettigrew's Problems
The lesson is transfiguring rats into teacups . . . only Ron Weasley's rat is actually an Animagus, which has dire consequences for the spell, for Peter Pettigrew, and for the Dark Lord's prospects for resurrection (and rather better consequences for Minerva McGonagall's reputation). Cross-posted (finally!) from Tumblr.
fic  au  minerva.mcgonagall  harry.potter  peter.pettigrew  humor  shortfic 
may 2018 by Beatrice_Otter
Psmith Giantslayer
Or, how the glorious Affair of the Motor Car on the Senate House Roof became the rather more alarming Affair of the Enormous Giants.
fic  crossover  Narnia  psmith  edmund.pevensie  humor 
september 2015 by Beatrice_Otter
Flo, Mayhem, and the Zombie Apocalypse
“What, you think I'm responsible?” Mayhem looked as though he couldn't decide whether to be offended or flattered. “I specialize in minor damage. Broken windows. Fender benders. Sprained ankles. The occasional roof crushed by a tree, tops. This is Act of God level.”

Or, like the title says: Flo. Mayhem. The zombie apocalypse. What more do you need, really?
fic  humor  crossover  au 
september 2015 by Beatrice_Otter
Pass It On
Ninety percent of everyone's problems could be solved by a robot that just texted NO to hockey players on a regular basis. Unfortunately, Sidney didn't have a robot.
fic  slash  hockey  sidney.crosby  humor 
august 2015 by Beatrice_Otter
Fair Play
Five times Vala and Teal'c didn't play by the rules.
fic  stargate.sg1  teal'c  vala  gen  Seasons9-10  humor  shortfic 
august 2015 by Beatrice_Otter
I Love You, You Idiot
“Oh, my god, why are you cheerful about this?” Josh asks. “Fox News has already called us sodomites!”

“How kind of them to restrain themselves for all of three minutes,” John replies...

(Josh and John get outed. Feelings ensue.)
fic  slash  humor  west.wing  josh.lyman  shortfic 
january 2015 by Beatrice_Otter
This, You Protect
The mission resets abruptly, from objective: kill to objective: protect
fic  gen  marvel  captain.america  post.winter.soldier  bucky.barnes  steve.rogers  humor  longfic 
january 2015 by Beatrice_Otter
TRACER BULLET IS A TERRIBLE NAME FOR A PI
“You know, I think I ate a mime once.” Hobbes sniffed. “Part of one, anyway. He didn’t stay in character after the first bite.”
fic  calvin.and.hobbes  future.fic  humor  shortfic 
december 2014 by Beatrice_Otter
The Hero's Journey; or: What Jasper Sitwell Did Last Summer
The thing is, when an agent reaches clearance level five, it’s because they’re valuable, capable of something an exponentially diminishing few can offer in the ranks of SHIELD. Clint Barton, his personal issues notwithstanding, is unstoppable behind a scope. Jim Woo is an analyst and extractor par excellence. Melinda May has infiltrated half the presidential offices of Asia, and Phil Coulson has an instinct for the unusual that could be the basis of an entire TV show.

Jasper’s less certain what he brings to the party.
fic  marvel  captain.america  agents.of.shield  post.winter.soldier  jasper.sitwell  nick.fury  crossover  welcome.to.night.vale  humor  au  fix-it 
november 2014 by Beatrice_Otter
re: re: re: re: bad ideas you and clint barton have had
You live with your best friend Steve in a giant tower in New York with seven or eight other crazy people and a cat named Cat and three robots and a voice that comes from the walls.

You're doing better now.
fic  gen  marvel  avengers  captain.america  bucky.barnes  clint.barton  humor  teamfic  shortfic 
may 2014 by Beatrice_Otter
Hoop Screams
When the Staples Center becomes infested by demons, there's only one detective agency in L.A. the Lakers can call on.
fic  angel.the.series  teamfic  humor  case.fic  cordelia.chase  charles.gunn  fred.burkle  wesley.wyndham.price 
may 2014 by Beatrice_Otter
Five Avengers Who Earned Their Fan Cred Honestly (and one who didn't)
In 1940, Bucky took Steve and a couple of girls to the closing weeks of the New York World's Fair, and Steve sneaked off to go to the U. S. Army recruiting station instead.

In 1939, Bucky took Steve and a couple of girls to the New York World's Fair when it was still new and exciting. Steve sneaked off to go to the First World Science Fiction Convention instead.
fic  gen  GenSF  meta  marvel  avengers  steve.rogers  thor  natasha.romanov  tony.stark  clint.barton  bruce.banner  humor 
april 2014 by Beatrice_Otter
Introduction to Goa'uld Theology
With all these gods around, there must be some theologians somewhere.
fic  gen  stargate.sg1  jack.o'neill  daniel.jackson  humor 
march 2014 by Beatrice_Otter
Four Things that Weren't Adequately Covered in Mulan's R.A. Training
Mulan is a Resident Assistant on a dormitory floor at a college. Gosh, some of the students on her floor come from really screwed-up families.
fic  au  gen  Disney  mulan  feminism  rape.culture  bechdel.pass  humor  shortfic 
march 2014 by Beatrice_Otter
she blinded me with political science
Darcy watched the Avengers defend New York from over two thousand miles away. She could look out her window if she wanted to watch the aftermath. She watches the news instead, and realizes one very important thing: the Avengers have a bit of a PR problem.
fic  marvel  avengers  het  darcy.lewis  bruce.banner  humor  longfic 
march 2014 by Beatrice_Otter
Mountains, Molehills
Technically, David doesn't live here, but that "technically" is starting to get real thin, and he knows it. Which is why he chokes a bit when Lilo puts her elbows on the table, her chin in her hands, and says, "Are you going to ask my sister to marry you, or what?"
fic  lilo.and.stitch  humor  post.canon  shortfic 
february 2014 by Beatrice_Otter
When Bookmarks Were In Mustache Land
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
Geek Chorus (A Bunch Of Very Nice Women [Mostly] Who Write Stories Set In Various Popular Fictional Worlds, With Lots Of Crazy Sex)
Delicious (A Website, Home To Many Cherished Links)
Sandy (A Representative For Diigo)
Maciej Cegłowski (A Pinboard Developer With A Keen Business Sense And A Somewhat Odd Yet Sort Of Endearing Epic Grudge Against Bedbugs)
Longtime Pinboard Users (A Demographic Largely Consisting Of Tech-Oriented Men)
The Monsterdoc (A GDoc That Could Seriously Fuck Your Shit Up)
The OCD!Anons (A Subset Of Fandom With A Lot Of Spare Time And A Fetish For Consistent Margins)
Johannes (Some Guy From The Internet)
fandom  fic  meta  humor  shortfic 
october 2013 by Beatrice_Otter
So We Meet at Last
Two genre legends meet. The outcome is inevitable. Someone really should have warned the Count never to trifle with fluffy old ladies.
fic  crossover  miss.marple  dracula  humor  fix-it  shortfic 
may 2013 by Beatrice_Otter
may the fourth
So there's this project Tony has been working on since he was ten years old which is only marginally less awesome than the specs for the TARDIS he totally could have built if Fury would've just let him had the Tesseract for a couple hours longer.
fic  marvel  avengers  tony.stark  humor  shortfic 
march 2013 by Beatrice_Otter
Robot Trip
Tony is driving from Malibu to Manhattan with a robot in the back seat and Captain America riding escort at Pepper's behest. What could possibly go wrong?
fic  marvel  avengers  steve.rogers  tony.stark  humor 
january 2013 by Beatrice_Otter
The Subtle Arrangement of Stones
Ambassadors Mollari, Delenn, and G’Kar are kidnapped by the Homeguard. It goes according to no one's plans: Earth dithers, Ivanova stews, Kosh is his usual helpful self, Franklin makes assumptions, Sinclair tries to hold everything together, the three aides mount a cockamamie rescue, and Delenn hopes only to keep Londo and G’Kar from killing one another long enough for someone else to do it. A first season ambassadorial romp.
fic  babylon.5  londo.mollari  delenn  g'kar  vir.cotto  na'toth  lennier  humor 
january 2013 by Beatrice_Otter
Attack Chickens, Children, and Other Hazards of Suburban Life
“I'd hate to have a kid like me.” - Calvin, The Authoritative Calvin And Hobbes
fic  calvin.and.hobbes  future.fic  humor  shortfic 
january 2013 by Beatrice_Otter
Get Me To the Justice of the Peace On Time
In which Cosmo Brown and Kathy Selden nearly elope together. Because of reasons.
fic  future.fic  singin'.in.the.rain  humor  shortfic 
january 2013 by Beatrice_Otter
As Blood Gleams Off An Errant Talon
SPOILERS for Crucible of Gold. IMMENSE SPOILERS. Iskierka is challenged to possibly the most difficult thing she shall ever face.
fic  temeraire  iskierka  humor  age.of.sail  shortfic 
september 2012 by Beatrice_Otter
It Starts Out Like an A-Word (As Anyone Can See)
This fic is brought to you by the letter Y, the number 12, and the Avengers' decision to help fix what Loki and the Chitauri did to destroy parts of Manhattan. (Mostly that last part.)
fic  crossover  sesame.street  the.muppets  avengers  marvel  outsider.perspective  humor 
august 2012 by Beatrice_Otter
thirdblindmouse | Festivid: Tom Cruise Crazy (Singin' in the Rain)
Tom Cruise is so in love with Katie/At least all his people tell him so
vids  singin'.in.the.rain  humor 
february 2012 by Beatrice_Otter
Noble Experiments
Dragons' rights and all that jazz. Or - scenes from the National Dragon's Suffrage Society visit to Chicago.
fic  temeraire  iskierka  perscitia  future.fic  humor  shortfic 
december 2011 by Beatrice_Otter
Spaceman Spiff and the Alien Conspiracy
"Don't worry, I'm sure he'll be fine."

She dropped her hand to to stare incredulously at the tiger. "Let me repeat," she said, very slowly. "Calvin has a weapon whose power is only limited by his imagination."

"I said he'd be fine, nothing about the rest of us."
fic  calvin.and.hobbes  humor  shortfic 
december 2011 by Beatrice_Otter
Time and Relatives in Space
The terribly difficult angsty teenagerhood of Amelia Song.
fic  doctor.who  eleventh.doctor  river.song  kid.fic  humor  shortfic 
december 2011 by Beatrice_Otter
Accidents Will Happen
Some Goth teenagers accidentally resurrect John Winchester. No, seriously.
fic  supernatural  crack  outsider.perspective  humor 
november 2011 by Beatrice_Otter
Services to the Crown
In Which the Aerial Corps decides to give all its spare dragon eggs to members of Parliament, and Nick Clegg looks good in green.
fic  temeraire  humor  age.of.sail  shortfic 
november 2011 by Beatrice_Otter
5 Ways Logan Fixed Everything (Like a Boss)
What would have happened if Charles and Erik had managed to recruit Logan?
fic  au  marvel  x-men  wolverine  raven/mystique  charles.xavier  humor  fix-it  shortfic 
october 2011 by Beatrice_Otter
By Any Other Name
The base is compromised and Superboy needs a place to stay. Lois Lane steps up to the plate. Lessons about the fine art of journalism (and breaking and entering for justice) ensue.
fic  DC  superman  kon-el  clark.kent  lois.lane  humor  shortfic 
september 2011 by Beatrice_Otter
Humane Society
Once Erik finally allows himself to decide that Charles is pretty much the best thing since sliced bread, he spends the next week being incredibly bitter that he's Charles' cat and not his boyfriend.
fic  marvel  x-men  au  erik.lensherr  charles.xavier  humor  raven/mystique 
august 2011 by Beatrice_Otter
The Case of the Unwelcome Owl
"So," said John, feeling out of his depth once again. "An owl." It was the same mild, politely curious tone of voice with which he had previously found himself uttering such things as: "So – three bags of frozen AB negative," and "So – a selection of human ears."

"Goodness, John, with deductive prowess like that you'll soon be putting me in the shade," Sherlock said tartly. "Can't sneak anything past you, can we?"
fic  crossover  sherlock.2010  hp  humor  luna.lovegood  sherlock.holmes  john.watson 
august 2011 by Beatrice_Otter
Gotham (The Just When You Think You're Out Remix)
"So let me get this straight," Angel says, "Batman got turned into a bat, a woman in fishnets turned him back, and you think your secretary is maybe a demon. That about cover it?"
fic  crossover  angel.the.series  batman  dc  charles.gunn  kara.zor-el  bruce.wayne  zatanna  remix  humor  shortfic 
may 2011 by Beatrice_Otter
Rules, Regs, and Responsibilities
She never expected the command of Atlantis would be easy.
fic  stargate.atlantis  sam.carter  humor  shortfic 
march 2011 by Beatrice_Otter
Derailing for Dummies
You know how it is. You’re enjoying yourself. The conversation is about a pertinent contemporary issue, probably something to do with a group of people who fall outside your realm of experience and identity. They’re also probably fairly heavily discriminated against - or so they claim. The thing is, you’re sharing your knowledge about these people and their issues. This knowledge is incontrovertible-it’s been backed up in media representation, books, research, historical events, also your own sense of being right. Yet something happens to put a dampener on your sharing of your intellect and capacity to fully understand All Things. Someone who belongs to the group of people you’re discussing is Not Happy with you. Apparently, they claim, you’ve got it all wrong and they’re offended about that. They say they know better than you about their issues. But how could you be wrong?

Don’t worry! By derailing the conversation you can continue to look like the expert you know you are!
privilege  feminism  politics  racism  humor  meta 
february 2011 by Beatrice_Otter
Five Medical Issues Jennifer Keller is really, really sick of treating
Some days it boggles the mind that this expedition consists of humanity's "best and brightest."
fic  stargate.atlantis  jennifer.keller  humor  shortfic 
january 2011 by Beatrice_Otter
Project Goldfish
Miles gives a formal dinner. It goes just about as well as it normally does.
fic  humor  vorkosiverse  miles.vorkosigan  ivan.vorpatril  alys.vorpatril  simon.illyan 
january 2011 by Beatrice_Otter
An Inside Look At A Main Line Society Apocalypse
The Philadelphia Story ends with a wedding. What if it picked up again with a ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE?
fic  crack  philadelphia.story  au  humor  shortfic 
january 2011 by Beatrice_Otter
It's the Muppet Doctor Who Special, With Our Very Special Guest Star, Matt Smith!
Tonight, the Muppet Theater is proud to present the Muppet Doctor Who Special, the Muppets' tribute to the long-running BBC television series! SPECIAL GUEST STAR: Matt Smith, the Eleventh Doctor!

Admission reasonable. Concessions very reasonable. Budget marginal. Free parking.
fic  crossover  doctor.who  the.muppets  crack  humor 
january 2011 by Beatrice_Otter
Unorthodox Methods
AU from original premise of SPN – Sam goes to law school and eventually joins the FBI, where he gets assigned as Peter’s probie, and the New York FBI office staff are amused, and eventually, slightly traumatized.
fic  crossover  supernatural  white.collar  au  humor  neal.caffrey  sam.winchester  peter.burke  shortfic 
september 2010 by Beatrice_Otter
Botany Strikes Back
"Oh, I see how it is. Botany's not a real science; it's just a bunch of plants. No one ever wants to take a botanist hostage, it's always "oh, Doctor McKay, could you build us a bomb," or "construct a death ray or die"."
fic  crack  humor  stargate.atlantis  katie.brown  david.parrish  shortfic 
september 2010 by Beatrice_Otter
The Gift Of The Mad Guy
The Doctor joins some Kings of Orient following a star, helps a quartet of sociologists, gets thrown in prison, meets shepherds (ditto: talking sheep), finds a baby in a stable, uses Christmas carols for nefarious ends, and learns The True Meaning Of Camel.
fic  doctor.who  tenth.doctor  jack.harkness  humor  crack 
july 2010 by Beatrice_Otter
My Home And Native Land
Ronon's friendship with Chuck, the head Gate Tech of the Atlantis mission, leads him to discover the strange and alien ways of Canadians and helps him lay his past to rest.
fic  humor  stargate.atlantis  ronon.dex  chuck 
july 2010 by Beatrice_Otter
A Maze of Twisty Passages, All Alike
Loyalty and familial concern had driven him to join the search for Gregor; he'd never for a moment considered he might actually find him.
fic  gregor.vorbarra  ivan.vorpatril  miles.vorkosigan  vorkosiverse  case.fic  humor 
june 2010 by Beatrice_Otter
Stupendous Man and Pretty Cool Dude (for an old guy) Join Forces
The Mysterious Masked Man of Mega-Might encounters another Champion of Liberty and Justice. Together they fight crime!
fic  calvin.and.hobbes  humor  shortfic 
may 2010 by Beatrice_Otter
The Sacred Art of Stealing
A totally serious and in no way silly ficlet in which the Doctor tries to pinch Sarah Jane's companions.
fic  crossover  doctor.who  humor  tenth.doctor  sarah.jane.smith.adventures  sarah.jane  luke.smith  shortfic 
april 2010 by Beatrice_Otter
Investigation
The subjects for the experiment, a box of Peeps marshmallow candies, were provided by Dr. Daniel Jackson, and Teal'c was responsible for firing the zat'ni'ktel. Colonel O'Neill assisted in the disposal of experimental subjects after testing was complete.
fic  stargate.sg1  humor  teamfic  case.fic  shortfic 
april 2010 by Beatrice_Otter
The Trouble with Toddlers
Some of the denizens of Global Dynamics may have engaged in some inadvertent international child smuggling, to the dismay of Jack Carter and Nathan Stark.
fic  eureka  humor  slash  nathan.stark  jack.carter  case.fic  kid.fic  shortfic 
april 2010 by Beatrice_Otter
Donna Maria Theresa del Fuego Sagrado de Cristo y Santiago and Capitan Protestant-son-of-a-whore
All two dozen of Sharpe's remaining men were currently clustered around him, offering less than helpful advice.

"If it's not harnessed immediately, it will become feral," Isiah Tongue informed them all.
fic  crossover  humor  temeraire  sharpe  richard.sharpe  age.of.sail  shortfic 
april 2010 by Beatrice_Otter
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