suicidalthoughts   52

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three white horses - magdaliny - Captain America (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
Steve, it's not your fault, Sam had tried to say, before Steve cut him off, and Steve doesn't think that's untrue so much as it's irrelevant; fault's got nothing to do with it. It's just—wrong. It's wrong. Steve couldn't wrap his head around it the first time, how wrong it was. Steve should have gone first. Was supposed to. Bucky could have carried on without Steve, he knows, but Steve without Bucky is a zero sum. There should never be a world that Steve is in and Bucky isn't.
captainamerica  slash  length-medium  magdaliny  steverogers  buckybarnes  suicidalthoughts  suicide-attempt  steve/bucky  peggycarter  hallucination  grieving  mpdjk  jewish-bucky 
august 2017 by ratcreature
time to kill - dirtybinary - Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
Steve doesn't go down with the plane. Consequently, the Winter Soldier spends seventy years thwarting, and being thwarted by, a blond stranger who shows up at all his missions and keeps buying him food.

Or: the one with the arch-nemeses and their murder burgers.
captainamerica  bucky/steve  au  dirtybinary  length-short  pov-bucky  steve-doesnt-freeze  depressing  suicidalthoughts  buckybarnes  steverogers  wintersoldier 
october 2015 by ratcreature
The Other Book - Misanagi - The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Iron Man (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
Summary:

For a prompt in the Avengers Kink Meme: Tony has had a book since he was a teenager, in which he writes down every mistake he has ever made. He decided that when he fills up the book to the very last page, he will kill himself.
suicidalthoughts  c:tony.stark  c:jarvis  c:thor  c:natasha.romanov  c:clint.barton  c:bruce.banner  c:steve.rogers  team  genre:angst  genre:hurt/comfort  author:misanagi  fanfiction  gen  fandom:Marvel  fandom:Avengers 
february 2015 by alamerysl
Cuckoo - de_corporis - Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
In October 1945, veteran James Barnes fell in front of an oncoming train in the New York City subway.

He woke up in November 1943 in a world both like and unlike his own, and found a man with his face strapped to a lab table.

Some things are different, some things are the same, but one thing always holds true: in whatever world he's in, Bucky Barnes will always love Steve Rogers.
captainamerica  slash  steverogers  buckybarnes  pov-bucky  length-medium  steve/bucky  switching-places  au  paralleluniverses  suicidalthoughts  wintersoldier  de_corporis  hydra  timetravel 
november 2014 by ratcreature
Mission Incomplete - gammadolphin - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]
He does not understand. He completed his mission. The captain is dead. So why does it feel as though he has done something terrible, as though he has knocked the world off its axis? Why is the screaming in his head louder than ever?
-
AU where Bucky thinks he completes his mission on the riverbank and Hydra "rewards" him by giving his memories back. All of them.
captainamerica  slash  steverogers  buckybarnes  steve/bucky  angst  mpdjk  pining  suicidalthoughts  h/c  hydra  memories  length-medium  pov-bucky  gammadolphin  flashbacks 
september 2014 by ratcreature
Remember You're Not Safe - camwolfe - Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
Steve and Bucky find each other. Bucky is still reeling from the trauma he has endured, but life isn’t going to stop and wait while he recovers. The two of them face new threats that further complicate their already difficult lives. Bucky and Steve need each other more than ever, in this new century with its new dangers.
captainamerica  gen  steverogers  buckybarnes  impliedhet  clintbarton  natasharomanov  wip  actionadventure  drugs  post-movie  wintersoldier  hydra  tonystark  pain  suicidalthoughts  samwilson  recovery  camwolfe  selfharm 
august 2014 by ratcreature
Captivated - missbecky - The Avengers (2012), Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
When Tony sustains a life-threatening injury, Steve takes him to a world where magic can heal any wound. But their happy ending swiftly becomes a nightmare when slavers attack, and Tony is captured and taken away. After months apart, they are finally reunited, but the quest to save Tony is only just beginning.
avengers  h/c  slash  slavefic  steve/tony  steverogers  tonystark  thor  angst  non-con  pts  recovery  kree  captive  captive-tony  slave-tony  disability-temporary  length-novel  missbecky  suicidalthoughts  self-loathing  bodyimage 
july 2014 by ratcreature
Every Door Opens - shiso_romanesco - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]
They’re sitting the kitchen, drinking tea because routine is soothing, talking about Bucky’s growing houseplant collection.

“Where did they all come from?”

“Some I saved—”

“Saved?”

“Yeah, just found them on the sidewalk on trash day. Some I dug up. That one,” he points to a small fern, “I rescued from the airport.”
captainamerica  steve/bucky  length-novel  wip  wintersoldier  hydra  buckybarnes  samwilson  steverogers  pov-2nd  pov-3rd  pov-steve  pov-bucky  domestic  recovery  shiso-romanesco  natasharomanov  suicidalthoughts  pining  firsttime 
july 2014 by ratcreature
And I Am Always with You - Lauralot - Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
He tries to reach out to Steve, but he can’t feel his arm. It’s too cold. Everything is cold save for his blood and Steve’s smile.

Long after Bucky forgets his own name, he remembers "Steve."
captainamerica  wip  wintersoldier  angst  h/c  torture  hallucination  buckybarnes  pov-bucky  steverogers  tonystark  samwilson  bodyimage  dehumanization  suicidalthoughts  starvation  selfharm  self-loathing  conditioning  amnesia  memories  pts 
may 2014 by ratcreature
Another Country (What Sustains Us Remix) - Anonymous - The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Captain America (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
He feels like an impostor a little more each time Steve calls him Bucky, because he doesn’t have a right to that name, not really. Bucky’s the name of a man who died seventy years ago, a stupid kid from Brooklyn who followed not Captain America but Steve Rogers into hell and never came out again.
captainamerica  wintersoldier  remix  length-medium  pov-bucky  buckybarnes  natasharomanov  bucky/natasha  steverogers  pts  recovery  post-movie  het  suicidalthoughts 
may 2014 by ratcreature
Tiny Houses
"So this is what Stiles does. He lies in Scott’s bed and waits for Melissa to say she’s found someone to get it out of him, to cure him of the wrongness and the bad, and he dreams.

God, he dreams.

He dreams of fire and swollen bellies and that scene in Alien, of giving birth to jackals through his urethra, the whole horrific nine yards. His head is a terrible place to be, he can’t imagine his stomach is much better, why anyone would want to put a thing inside of it."
Author:ohmyjetsabel  TeenWolf  Slash  fanfic  Derek/Stiles  Angst  Hurt/Comfort  Smut  Relationship:FirstTime  Mpreg  Depression  SuicidalThoughts  Adoption  AttemptedAbortion  PackDynamics  Kid!fic  Magic  Length:50.000-100.000  MultiChapter  Rape/Non-Con 
december 2013 by Ambrosine8

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