shame   1722

« earlier    

Spiked -- Just say no to Veganuary by Patrick West
'Veganism isn’t a diet – it’s a cult of purity. -- ...Veganism has become a kind of umbrella alliance of malcontents who sermonise that eating or wearing animals is not only cruel, but also a violation of the rights and dignity of non-human beings, while also being bad for the planet. -- Vegans can thus denounce eating eggs, drinking milk or wearing wool as not just wrong, but thrice-times evil. This is why vegans are not content quietly to forego certain foods, as is the case with most civilised vegetarians, but feel the need to evangelise about why they do so, condemning as wicked and immoral those deviants who don’t. -- ... Many of you may have been tempted to take up the ‘Veganuary’ challenge on ethical or dietary grounds. This is an error. Both criteria can be satisfied by simply going vegetarian: you would have the satisfaction of knowing that your diet doesn’t involve the death of animals, and still easily be able get all the protein and calcium your body needs. A vegan diet, on the other hand, isn’t good for body or soul. It will only turn you into a coffin-faced bore. -- But that’s never been the point of it. Being a vegan is foremost about proving that you are a purer, morally better person than your neighbour, and letting her know it. It’s a cult of self-worship.' -- Narcissism is a defence against shame
rkselectiontheory  decadence  faggotry  shame  narcissism  veganism  Nietzsche 
7 days ago by adamcrowe
Shame Storm by Helen Andrews | Articles | First Things
“I would tell him to bend over and take it. And then I’d apologize. I’d tell him the whole system is broken and evil, and I’m sorry it’s attacking him. But there’s nothing that can be done.”
culture  internet  shame  mob  media 
12 days ago by soobrosa
Twitter
Now is demonizing AOC like they demonized Bernie in 2015.
shame  from twitter
12 days ago by mikeschinkel
Shame Storm
Helen Andrews/First Things, January 2019.
shame  outrage  anger  helenandrews 
17 days ago by markcoddington
Captain Awkward on Twitter: "Fellow #ADHD kids, what elaborate new planning/organization systems and rituals are we going to embrace enthusiastically for the first half of January?"
"Fellow #ADHD kids, what elaborate new planning/organization systems and rituals are we going to embrace enthusiastically for the first half of January?

If we can crowdsource data about price, fiddliness, cult following, # of dedicated subreddits, # of naturally organized people who swore it would change our lives or said “if I can do it anyone can!”, etc, then I can get a jump start on shame spiral trajectory calculations!

My poor therapists (all): Have you tried to-do lists?

Me: Yes! I love making them, but I constantly forget to check. Also putting a task on the list can “solve” its urgency & I forget. Whereas if I DON’T write it, the terror of forgetting might keep it in focus!

Therapists: [gif]

Me: I basically exist inside a giant perpetual-motion machine of prcrastination, forgetting stuff, guilt, and anxiety and sometimes I can harness it as motivation!

Therapists: [gif]

Therapists: But you DO accomplish things?

Me: Yes?

Therapists: But...how?

Me: Oh, that’s easy, I have enough raw intelligence & ability that sometimes the crippling fear of failure makes a volcano instead of an abyss, and work erupts out of the crater instead of collapsing in.

Therapists: But...wouldn’t be easier to keep a to-do list?

Me: Obviously!

Therapists: So, what CAN we work on?

Me: Could we maybe make the creative work volcanoes a little bigger and the crushing paralysis & shame abysses a little smaller?

Therapists: [gif]

In all seriousness, the thing about getting finally getting dx’d with #ADHD that helps me most isn’t the meds, which do mitigate it a bit, but that I stopped hating myself for being this way.

My whole childhood & life before diagnosis, my intelligence and literally everything I am good at was used as proof that I must be lazy & deliberately fucking up career & academic & household stuff out of spite.

The paradox of #ADHD - being excellent at complex, high-stimulus tasks and fuck-all at routine, “easy” tasks was a weapon in the hands of parents, teachers, & employers and a constant abusive echo in my brain.

What I internalized was that accomplishments that were fun or that came easy to me had no value, only the ones that involve effort “count.” But the things that involved the most effort for me were mundane tasks that came easy to others, so they had no value, either.

“But you are so good at ______ it should be easy to _____?” became “But I am so good at ____, I should be good at ____ and since I am not actually good at ____ I must be a hopeless fuckup.”

I also internalized a fallacy that I was not “allowed” to do rewarding ambitious enjoyable things until all my “chores” were done. Meaning I set impossible traps for myself for YEARS b/c I would never get the chores done?

TBH sometimes the right thing for me to do is put the laptop down & clean the house but also one main reason I can be a prolific writer is an internal shift in permissions, like, chores CAN actually wait if I’m in the grip of an idea, & I DON’T have to read/answer every email.

My condition comes with gifts like creativity and intense bursts of focus & enthusiasm and it is ok to ride those bursts and enjoy them and give my effort & time to “fun” work. It is also ok to kinda suck at some things.

This article was a turning point for me in getting dx’d - I had raised the prospect before and been told I was “too smart” & “too high-functioning.” Therapist was using (incredibly common) idea of hyperactive boys. https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/04/adhd-is-different-for-women/381158/ ["ADHD Is Different for Women"]

This book by Sari Solden, rec’d by a friend, was also really helpful: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/women-attention-deficit-disorder-embrace-your-differences/id548946872?mt=11 ["Women With Attention Deficit Disorder: Embrace Your Differences and Transform Your Life"]

Finally, #ADHD is buds with Depression & Anxiety, and a lot of its symptoms overlap with PTSD. If you never get a clear ADHD dx it doesn’t mean you are not having real trouble with executive function. Your treatment (esp. meds) might differ, tho, so get checked out if you can.

Ok, actually finally finally finally there is tons of productivity & organizing advice from people who are naturally good at organization. You will often recognize it by the word “just” - “I just take 10 seconds to put things back where they belong!” “I just make lists!”

For us #ADHD buds this advice can be so, so, so overwhelming. It isn’t factually untrue (It does save time to put things away as you go? Or, er, I believe organized people when they say this?) but your instinct that the word “just” does not apply to you is CORRECT.

If the actual tips sound helpful and you want to try them, by all means! We can work on new habits and find better workarounds. But if it’s difficult, please know, that’s expected & you’re not imagining it. Please also don’t add it to the ways you beat yourself up.

I tweet for the kids who got their messy desks dumped out as an example to others. I tweet for the ones who never once brought a permission slip home, and got it signed, and brought that same piece of paper back in time for the field trip.

I tweet for the kids who peed their pants sometimes not b/c they weren’t potty-trained but b/c they got too absorbed in something & forgot to switch tasks.

I tweet for #ADHD couples, esp. brides, who are like “I want to marry YOU but what the hell is WEDDING PLANNING and why do people think I know how?”

I tweet for the ones who are panicking that “you have so much potential!” is turning into “you *had* so much potential.” Every day is a race against the sun and our own runaway brains.

BTW I also tweet for the parents who are like “oh crap I lost my kid’s permission slip...again...”

Also, hi to the people who really need an assistant but have no idea how to delegate things to an assistant and/or find the whole assistant thing terrifying b/c someone will know how truly, truly disorganized you are & how much you rely on adrenaline & charisma. [gif]

I see you, I am you, I have been you, and I have been your assistant. Let the nice person help you if you possibly can. They want to. They *like* it. You just have to be nice and honest & give them money.

If anyone has ever told you, patiently & kindly, that the best way to accomplish a big project is to break it down into small, digestible chunks, and you’ve nodded in agreement but internally screamed b/c you know a long list = more ways to lose focus, come here: [gif]"

[Via/see also: https://twitter.com/emilesnyder/status/1078020204016263168

This thread made me cry. I have never considered ADHD as something that might describe me. Depression, anxiety, yes. ADHD? Not so much.

But holy shit does this thread have my number re: procrastination, organization, shame spirals, etc..

https://twitter.com/cblack__/status/1078060070078840833
Oh, but Emile. It's not you with the disorder, it's society. You're just made for a better, slower, simpler, more attuned, more holistic world. 90% of the shit people do when they get shit done is actually destroying the planet. If everybody just did less we could save the world.

https://twitter.com/cblack__/status/1078106307536728064
Have you seen this research on the cultural dimensions of attentional stance? https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/3dbc/c3420a3d1afa391fb46370cac52cf59ba98a.pdf ["Open Attention as a Cultural Tool for Observational Learning" by Suzanne Gaskins

"ABSTRACT:
Learning through observation in everyday activities is widely recognized in the ethnographic literature as a central way that children learn from others. There are two well-described
characteristics of learning through observation: participation in meaningful activities with people who are important in the children’s lives and a belief that children are active, motivated learners who take initiative to garner experiences and make meaning from them. Gaskins and Paradise (2010) have proposed that there is a third characteristic central to observational learning: open attention, defined as attention that takes in information from the full environmental context (that is, wide-angled) and is sustained over time (that is, abiding). This paper will describe open attention in some detail, giving examples of how open attention is encouraged in a variety of cultures, its value as a component of observational learning, the role of concentration, and the implications for understanding children’s learning (in and out of school) and play. The presentation will conclude that, while learning through observation is present in all cultures, in cultures where open attention is encouraged and expected, and where the responsibility for learning is given to the children, observational learning is both more powerful and more central to children’s mastery of the full range of cultural knowledge." ]]
attention  adhd  neurodiversity  2018  productivity  unschooling  deschooling  education  learning  organization  anxiety  depression  context  procrastination  shame  forgetfulness  executivefunction  creativity  add  children  childhood  schools  schooling 
20 days ago by robertogreco
Shame Storm by Helen Andrews | Articles | First Things
Long piece about online shaming and how we still have no path forward for people shamed. Author has personal experience as a target.
shame  internet  long-read 
20 days ago by gunsch
The Fall of Gaia, Inc. – David Wilcock’s Resignation Letter, Intellectual Property Theft, Hostile Work Environment & Corey Goodes impending 50-million-dollar lawsuit! – Fade to Light
Since I began writing my investigative reports and articles, such as Meet the Board of Directors of Gaia, Inc., and MK-Ufology, Inc., a number of ufology community members, public figures, and individuals close to Gaia, Inc. employees have approached me with more information and details surrounding the events over the past year. I was also contacted…
disclosure  gaia  shame  leaks  politics  history  davidwilcock  coreygoode  secrets  manipulation  business  summary  article 
6 weeks ago by orlin

« earlier    

related tags

17-year-old  2018-08-17  2018  911  academics  acceptance  activism  add  adhd  advertising  advice  all  ally-bashing  america  anger  antidepressants  anxiety  article  asiaargento  assange  attachment  attention  auspol  australia  bad-press  banishyourinnercritic  banking  basicincome  before  bitcoin  blockchain  blog  bodies  body  books  boredom  brevity  burnout  business  by  celebrity  cemetery  change  childhood  children  china  chrome  citizen  class  coaching  college  communication  compare  compassion  context  cool  copyright  coreygoode  corruption  creatitvity  creativity  credit  crime  crypto  cryptocurrency  culture  data  dating  davidwilcock  death  decadence  deepstate  degree  depression  deschooling  die  digital  diploma  disappearance  disclosure  documentaries  dubrovnik  earning  economics  editorial  education  emotion  empathy  encryption  envy  enzo  escape  eschatology  executivefunction  exercise  exhaustion  expulsions  face  faggotry  fail  failure  fakenews  falseself  fat  fear  feminism  film  finance  firstthings  forfeiture  forgetfulness  fucking  fundamentalism  gaia  gdpr  geiger  gender  good  google  government  graveyard  guilt  hall  haunted  health  healthcare  helenandrews  helped  her  hikikomori  history  holywood  honor  humility  ideology  illiberalism  illuminati  important  impostersyndrome  industry  innercritic  inspiration  instagram  interesting  internet  interview  invention  japan  jm  journalism  junot-diaz  karoshi  kavanaughconfirmationhearings  kids  law  leaks  learning  lies  life  logic_&_reasoning  long-read  long_read  longread  longreads  lovefirst  manipulation  marketing  marsha-shandur  master  mastercard  me-too  media  medicine  merit  meritocracy  messaging  military  mmm  mob  morality  narcisissm  narcissism  neglect  neurodiversity  nietzsche  nihilism  normalization  nsa  obesity  of  online  onpoli  ontario  onted  organization  orgbehavior  outrage  overcoming  parenting  patent  patents  people  peopleskills  permission  personal  pharmacology  philosophy  piracy  politicians  politics  pornography  poverty  president  priorities  privacy  procrastination  productivity  products  psmag  psychology  public  public_comment  public_speaking  publicity  puppet  puts  qanon  race  rape  reddit  reims  research  restrictions  rhetoric  rkselectiontheory  satire  says  scam  scapegoating  schooling  schools  science  scientificamerican  secrets  security  self-care  self-compassion  self  selfesteem  selfexpression  selfhandicapping  sex  sexuality  shadow  shaming  signaling  snowden  social-media  social  socialism  socialsciences  society  speech  speeches  spin  staging  stairs  status  stefanmolyneux  stigma  study  suicidalideation  suicide  summary  technology  teddy  terrorism  theft  theonion  therapy  thisisamerica  timeline  to  too...  tracking  transgenderism  transition  trauma  trends  troy-hunt  trump  unschooling  us  usa  use  vanguardism  veganism  victimhood  videos  vpn  vulnerability  wasted  weapon  weekly-guide  when  why_lovefirst  wikileaks  will  women  world-domination-summit  world  writing  you've  you   

Copy this bookmark:



description:


tags: