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Op-Ed: Christianity Is Not About Religion—It's About A Personal Relationship With Donald Trump
It’s not ritual, it’s not ceremony, it’s not going to church on the first day of the week and wearing your Sunday best. It’s not wearing shined-up shoes and polo shirts so everyone else at church will think you’re doing alright. It’s not cold, and it’s not dead. It is a living, active relationship with God’s chosen ruler of the United States.

Don’t measure your faith by how much stuff you do for God; measure your faith by how closely your life emulates that of our savior, Donald Trump. This simple paradigm shift will cause your spiritual growth to skyrocket as you shed the empty shell of false religion and connect on a personal level with Trump.
religion  satire  humor 
3 days ago by atbradley
Imgur: The most awesome images on the Internet
Harvey Weinstein and actresses mock up. Mocking it all. No clue how relevant or correct this satire is.
bookmarked_on_site  %imgur  Hollywood  genders  opportunism  sexual_assault  current_events  satire  images 
3 days ago by skinnymuch
The Onion -- UCLA Offering Depression Screenings For All Incoming Students
'"Acting like people care about your mental health is yet another way college is failing to prepare students for the real world."'
TheOnion  faggotry  satire 
4 days ago by adamcrowe
5 Ways Black People Can Force Commonsense Gun Control 
1. Get lots of black people to buy guns.

I know it seems antithetical, but if black people started purchasing semi-automatic weapons legally and in large numbers, congressional Republicans would pass a gun-owner safety bill faster than white people’s fucking tempo.

We wouldn’t even have to actually purchase guns—all we’d have to do is get black people to join the National Rifle Association en masse. We could just make all strip clubs free before midnight with an NRA membership card. I already came up with a slogan:

The National Rifle Association: Make dat ass and your guns clap! (OK, I admit it needs work.)
lol  satire  gunControl  guns  whiteSupremacy 
6 days ago by campylobacter
The Onion -- Emotionally Abusive Social Media Site Continuously Manipulating Woman Into Staying
'MENLO PARK, CA—Warning her that she’d have nobody if she walked away now, an emotionally abusive social media site has been continuously manipulating a woman into staying, sources confirmed Thursday. “Are you sure you want to deactivate your account? All your friends will miss you,” said the controlling website, warning the woman that she was turning her back on everyone who cared about her and would be totally bereft of happiness without them. “Your 395 friends will no longer be able to keep in touch with you. Would you like to log out instead of deactivating your account?” At press time, the woman still had not opted out of receiving future emails, and the site, sensing her weakness, had reportedly filled her inbox with promises that this time would be different.'
TheOnion  women  attention  codependence  socialmedia  satire 
8 days ago by adamcrowe
Voices of the ancients – Bad Science
Every now and then you have to salute a genius. Both the Daily Mail and the Metro report new research analysing the positions of Britain’s ancient sites, and the results are startling: primitive man had his own form of “sat nav”. Researcher Tom Brooks analysed 1,500 prehistoric monuments, and found them all to be on a grid of isosceles triangles, each pointing to the next site, allowing our ancestors to travel between settlements with pinpoint accuracy. The papers even carried an example of his map work, which I have reproduced here.
science  humor  satire  anti-science  data 
9 days ago by Weaverbird

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