rec.funny   75

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Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit - by pyrebi - fandom Supernatural [Archive of Our Own]
Summary:
In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything.

Excerpt:
Dean instantly decides that he doesn't like where this is heading, so he decides to nip it in the bud and just say, "Cas, just to check--you and I aren't married, right?"

Castiel goes a bit...shifty. "The first thing to go in any anarchy state is the civil services. But rest assured, I'll have it annulled as soon as I'm back in power."

"What."

And just like that, Castiel vanishes.
supernatural  fanfic  slash  sfw  dean_winchester.castiel  author.pyrebi  rec.all_fanfic  rec.funny  rec.flawless 
march 2013 by lorem_ipsum
peroxide_fic: [FIC] Sam is a Genius (Everyone is Dumb) (for swing_set13)
That afternoon, they also learn that Castiel doesn’t like nachos (which Sam is kind of relieved about) while he absolutely loves hot dogs (which Sam supposes just figures, all things considered).

“The flavor combinations are intriguing,” Castiel explains, around a mouthful of meat by-product and mustard.

Dean grins when he hears that, ruffles Castiel’s hair, and even splurges to buy the angel a Royals cap on their way out of the stadium. Castiel likes the hat too, but not nearly as much as the Cracker Jack ring.

Based on all empirical evidence collected so far, Sam figures that this means they’re engaged now.

Maybe someone ought to tell them.
supernatural  fanfic  slash  sfw  dean_winchester.castiel  destiel  author.peroxide_fic  rec.all_fanfic  rec.funny 
february 2013 by lorem_ipsum
Hug Therapy - by astolat - fandom The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011) [Archive of Our Own]
Excerpt:

"I am hugging you," Thor explained. "That you may know I love you, despite your madness."

[Seriously, fandom, stop it, I do not want this pairing, but oh the the excellent Thor-centric crackfic that y'all are writing...

Case in point. Here we have noncon hugging and dubcon sex. And ALL THE FUNNY. -L]
avengers  fanfic  slash  nsfw  crack  author.astolat  rec.all_fanfic  rec.flawless  rec.funny 
july 2012 by lorem_ipsum
Thanks, Biology - by Unforgotten - fandom X-Men: First Class (2011) [Archive of Our Own]
Charles snarls, a primal sort of snarl, an I-mean-business sort of snarl, a don't-you-fuck-with-me sort of snarl, the sort of snarl that makes alphas' blood freeze in their veins.

Erik suddenly looks from side-to-side, faux casual, as though he hasn't taken any interest in Charles at all and certainly didn't hear him snarl.
x-men  fanfic  slash  sfw  charles/erik  alternate_universe  author.Unforgotten  rec.all_fanfic  rec.flawless  rec.funny 
june 2012 by lorem_ipsum
Alphas, Betas, Omegas: A Primer - by norabombay - fandom Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]
A brief primer on the concept of Alpha/Beta/Omega Universes. aka That thing showing up in your fandom that doesn't make any sense.
meta  rec.funny 
may 2012 by lorem_ipsum
Many Kinds Of Man, Many Kinds Of Body Wash - by helens78 - fandom Old Spice Commericals [Archive of Our Own]
Certainly the scent of Old Spice body wash wafting past my nose calls to a certain idealized image of man, but in fact there are many ladies out there whose noses might ask, nay, demand Old Spice body wash to call their very own.

And I see no reason those women shouldn't have what they ask for. Some ladies have been known to walk past me, scent of Old Spice tantalizing each and every iota of my being, and when they find me near a dark alley, suddenly I'm not on my horse, I'm under their spell, moved by strong hands and strong arms and pushed against a brick wall. The brick wall shatters beneath the power of the lady's intentions and desire, and we tumble past it into a bed of flower petals, strewn there in hopes of pleasing her.

[Pegging with D/s overtones. -L]
fanfic  het  nsfw  author.helens78  rec.all_fanfic  rec.funny 
february 2012 by lorem_ipsum
Sitz! - by Unforgotten - fandom X-Men: First Class (2011), X-Men (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
[The Brotherhood decide to turn Erik into a Doberman. This story vaults into awesomesauce when the Scrabble tiles appear. -L]
x-men  fanfic  slash  charles/erik  author.Unforgotten  crack  rec.all_fanfic  rec.funny 
january 2012 by lorem_ipsum
Replay - by Unforgotten - fandom X-Men: First Class (2011), X-Men (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
Author's Summary: After Magneto of an X2-ish future succeeds in the unthinkable, Charles sends his consciousness back to 1962 to guide Erik away from the path that will lead to the genocide of the human race forty years hence.

Charles knows that Erik has always loved him, and intends to use this knowledge + sex to seduce Erik away from his ideals in his youth.

There's no way this well-thought-out, sensible, debugged and 100% bulletproof plan can possibly go wrong.
x-men  fanfic  slash  nsfw  charles/erik  timey-wimey  author.Unforgotten  rec.all_fanfic  rec.flawless  rec.funny 
january 2012 by lorem_ipsum
winterhill - Owned - Michael Fassbender with Pugs (Tumblr) [Archive of Our Own]
It was quite unusual, really, that Pugsley had made a Tumblr in the first place. What came after that was just downright weird.
fanfic  gen  author.winterhill  rec.all_fanfic  rec.funny 
january 2012 by lorem_ipsum
ladylade: The Saga of Anubis (Or, How Daniel Jackson is Followed By a Kitten)
“I are Goa’uld,” the tiny grey kitten says.

Daniel stares down at it from his seat on the toilet. If there was ever a time for this, it is definitely not now.

“Bow before me, cretin human,” it says.
stargate  sg1  gen  sfw  fanfic  author.ladylade  rec.all_fanfic  rec.funny 
october 2011 by lorem_ipsum
jedusaur: When Bookmarks Were In Mustache Land
SCENE I

(The members of the GEEK CHORUS are happily going about their usual Monday night business, reading and sharing fic, when suddenly all activity grinds to a halt. Eyes narrow. Eyebrows furrow. Hands are abruptly removed from pants.)

GEEK CHORUS
Huh? What's going on with delicious?

DELICIOUS
We've redesigned! Check out our new look!

GEEK CHORUS
Um, okay, sure. Whatcha got for us?

DELICIOUS
Mustaches!
fanfic  author.jedusaur  meta.fandom  rec.funny  rec.all_fanfic 
october 2011 by lorem_ipsum
toestastegood: The Bawd and the John - Chapter 1 - X-Men: First Class (2011), X-Men (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
"You seem to be in a much happier mood today, sir," Azazel says, after Erik manages to take the mistakes of an underling in his stride. He doesn't even threaten to have the idiot fired.

"I'm in the same mood as I always am," Erik insists, even if that isn't strictly speaking true. There may in fact be a certain bounce in his step.

[World-famous politician and conquering war hero Magneto has a crush on a brothel-keeper. It's nearly 40k words, and yet feels like it should be longer, because it has themes/subplots that can't be tied up neatly. OTOH, it's hilarious. -L]
x-men  fanfic  charles/erik  crackfic  alternate_universe  author.toestastegood  rec.all_fanfic  rec.funny 
september 2011 by lorem_ipsum
1stclass_kink: Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge
The first day could easily be summarised with “I’m really not sure about this, Professor” and “I have complete and utter faith in you Hank, and in this new Cerebro you have cobbled together with duct tape and paper clips” and “No, Erik, don’t touch him when he’s wired in!” and “aaaaaaaaargh”.

Then Erik was suddenly rather short, ambiguously British, and had a killer migraine. And possibly an aquamarine sister. He took three painkillers, went to bed hoping it was all a dream, and woke up to a day that would not be so easily summarised. [...]

“Look Erik! I can bend spoons! With my mind!”
x-men  fanfic  crackfic  rec.all_fanfic  rec.funny  [WIP] 
september 2011 by lorem_ipsum
zamwessell: The One About The Turtleneck (1/5)
“Not very subtle, Charles.” Raven said, walking over to the table and sitting down. “Next time how about you re-monogram all the bath towels while you’re at it?”

“Why would he re-monogram the bath towels?” Hank asked.
x-men  fanfic  slash  nsfw  charles/erik  author.zamwessell  rec.all_fanfic  rec.funny 
september 2011 by lorem_ipsum
The Emperor's New Clothes - ignipes - X-Men: First Class (2011) [Archive of Our Own]
[In which Erik Lensherr has an image problem, and Emma Frost is awesomesauce.]

"I swear he looked normal when I met him," Angel says. Emma glimpses a memory: Erik and Xavier side by side on a red bed in a red room. Angel winks at her, knowing full well that Emma has caught that flicker of thought.

Mystique is nodding in agreement. "There were even hats," she says. "Lovely hats. Stylish hats. I don't know what happened." ...

He really is a terribly handsome man, Emma thinks. It's a shame about his personality.
x-men  fanfic  gen  author.ignipes  rec.all_fanfic  rec.funny 
july 2011 by lorem_ipsum
i guess i should say thanks or some shit - zarathuse - X-Men: First Class (2011), X-Men (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
Actually, Charles’s whole life is really fucking hard.

Raven always throws shit at him when he says things like that, but whatever, it is.

He’s just. He has a lot of feelings.
fanfic  slash  alternate_universe  nsfw  x-men  charles/erik  crack  rec.all_fanfic  rec.flawless  rec.funny 
july 2011 by lorem_ipsum
Wacky Rooftop Hijinks - Booster - Batman - Fandom, Torchwood [Archive of Our Own]
Maybe Batman was caught in traffic? God knew that damn Batmobile of his had to take time parking occasionally...

Finally there was a crunch of gravel behind him, and Gordon turned around. "About time, Batman," he started to say, before pausing. That was definitely not Batman.
batman  torchwood  fanfic  gen  crossover  author:Booster  rec.all_fanfic  rec.funny 
february 2011 by lorem_ipsum
Welsh for Beginners - derryderrydown - Torchwood [Archive of Our Own]
"You're twenty seconds early," Ianto said, frowning at her. "I was expecting you to at least say bore da to Jack."

"I don't want to risk talking Welsh to him," Gwen said. "Not when he's still got that alien lube applicator gun to hand."
torchwood  fanfic  author:derryderrydown  rec.all_fanfic  rec.funny 
february 2011 by lorem_ipsum
sherlockbbc_fic: The Lobster Quadrille
Somewhere, there’s a gunshot and two out of three bodies break the water surface in a mass of entangled limbs. The deafening explosion that follows drowns out the sound of the splashing entirely.

The story of how many, if any, of those three bodies walk away from that pool isn’t this story. And when we say three bodies, we mean four or five. Or more than five. Or five bodies and a lot of laser pointers. Anyway, that story isn’t this story. This story involves a far bigger mass of water and, while there are far fewer guns (and possibly laser pointers), there are far more knives.

In a universe not-too-distant from the one where the rather inconvenient need for oxygen is making the fingers of one body go slack against the other’s sodden clothes, there are lobsters.

Lots and lots of lobsters, everywhere.

With knives.
sherlock_holmes.john_watson  fanfic  author:anonymous  rec.all_fanfic  rec.funny 
december 2010 by lorem_ipsum

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