personal_connections   24

The Man With the $13 Billion Checkbook
July 12, 2019 | The New York Times | By John Leland [John Leland, a Metro reporter, joined The Times in 2000. His most recent book is “Happiness Is a Choice You Make: Lessons From a Year Among the Oldest Old,” based on a Times series. @johnleland]

In the neglected Harlem of the late 1990s, one dynamic player was the Abyssinian Development Corporation, a nonprofit offshoot of the powerful Abyssinian Baptist Church. Harlem then was littered with abandoned buildings that had been repossessed by the city. The development corporation, led by the Rev. Dr. Calvin O. Butts III, leveraged city and private money to restore these shells, then used the profits to acquire and rehab more buildings. Mr. Walker became the organization’s chief operating officer, working out of a basement office to help bring a Pathmark supermarket to 125th Street, the anchor for what would become a thriving commercial corridor in a neighborhood that had been given up for dead.

“Working for Calvin Butts, you saw the power of the black church, the shrewd political instincts of a power player, and the dynamic at the intersection of race, power, geography and culture,” Mr. Walker said. “It gave me tremendous insight into how power at that intersection plays out, and who benefits and who doesn’t benefit.”

Mr. Walker’s time at Abyssinian also taught him what it was like to rely on foundation grants, begging the mighty patron for favors. When he left to join the Rockefeller Foundation and then Ford — and as Abyssinian boomed and busted in a new Harlem — he vowed to change this relationship.
African-Americans  capitalism  Communicating_&_Connecting  contradictions  cultural_institutions  Darren_Walker  Ford_Foundation  Harlem  inequality  museums  patronage  power_brokers  New_York_City  personal_connections  political_power  relationships  tokenism 
5 weeks ago by jerryking
Why You Need a Network of Low-Stakes, Casual Friendships
May 6, 2019 | The New York Times | By Allie Volpe.

The sociologist Mark Granovetter calls these low-stakes relationships “weak ties.” Not only can these connections affect our job prospects, they also can have a positive impact on our well-being by helping us feel more connected to other social groups, according to Dr. Granovetter’s research. Other studies have shown weak ties can offer recommendations (I found my accountant via a weak tie) and empower us to be more empathetic. We’re likely to feel less lonely, too, research shows.

A 2014 study found that the more weak ties a person has (neighbors, a barista at the neighborhood coffee shop or fellow members in a spin class), the happier they feel. Maintaining this network of acquaintances also contributes to one’s sense of belonging to a community, researchers found......maintaining a network of low-stakes connections further enmeshes us in our community, especially after a major move away from family and close friends or the loss of a loved one.
Communicating_&_Connecting  friendships  happiness  low-stakes  networking  personal_connections  personal_relationships  relationships  sense-of-belonging  social_fabric  weak_links 
may 2019 by jerryking
Why People Ghost — and How to Get Over It - The New York Times
By Adam Popescu
Jan. 22, 2019

Ghosting — when someone cuts off all communication without explanation....happens across all social circumstances and it’s tied to the way we view the world......The pace of modern life makes it hard enough to maintain real life friendships; it’s impossible to actually be friends with everyone you’re supposedly simpatico with online......Growing apart can be a friendship’s natural evolution; ditto for lovers.....when you get ghosted, there’s no closure, so you question yourself and choices which sabotages self-worth and self-esteem.....ghosting a form of the silent treatment akin to emotional cruelty (the pain it causes can be treated with Tylenol, according to multiple studies). So, how do you avoid it in the first place?......be particularly choosy about who you tend to interact with,”....get a sense early on of what kind of individual you’re dealing with.”......watch how people treat others is a good indicator.......Ghosting has a lot to do with someone’s comfort level and how they deal with their emotions,” she added. “A lot of people anticipate that talking about how they feel is going to be a confrontation. That mental expectation makes people want to avoid things that make them uncomfortable.”.....the flip side [of ghosting] is a subset of the population looking for real connection. “People are craving authenticity,”...“Being vulnerable is the number one thing that creates intimacy between people and if you worry about being hurt all the time, you’re not able to be vulnerable and it affects the quality of connection.”....ghosting has a lot to do with how we feel about our future — or whether we think our mate is the “one,” which is a question of belief versus destiny. Either someone believes the relationship is capable of growing or they’re seeking an archetypal partner (what’s typically called a soul mate). “Individuals who have stronger destiny beliefs are more likely to ghost,”....remember if someone ghosts you that behavior says more about them than you,” Dr. Vilhauer said. “It’s about their discomfort. You have to keep trying.”.....modify how we reject people.....Don’t apologize, she said, but be honest about boundaries, whether it’s going to a movie with someone or spending the rest of your life together. Just be real. “The good middle ground is explicitly rejecting someone and telling them ‘no,’ not ‘I’m sorry,’”....Taking a risk to tell someone how you really feel — even if it’s not what they want to hear — has benefits. Self-esteem, stress, blood pressure, spending more time with people you care about. And getting that time back opens up self-discovery.
authenticity  avoidance  belief_systems  blindsided  breakups  clarity  Communicating_&_Connecting  dating  discomforts  exits  friendships  ghosting  intimacy  personal_connections  relationships  say_"no"  self-discovery  self-esteem  self-worth 
february 2019 by jerryking
The Politics of Clan: The Adventures of Jared Kushner - The New York Times
David Brooks MAY 30, 2017

We tell young people to serve something beyond self, and Kushner seems to have been fiercely, almost selflessly, loyal to family. But the clannish mentality has often ill served him during his stay in government.

Working in government is about teamwork, majority-building and addition — adding more and more people to your coalition. It is about working within legal frameworks and bureaucratic institutions. It’s about having a short memory and not taking things personally.

Clannishness, by contrast is about tight and exclusive blood bonds. It’s a moral approach based on loyalty and vengeance against those who attack a member of the clan. It’s an intensely personal and feud-ridden way of being.

Working in government is about trusting the system, and trusting those who have been around and understand the craft. But the essence of clannishness is to build a barrier between family — inside the zone of trust — and others, outside that zone. .......Our forebears have spent centuries trying to build a government of laws, and not of hereditary bloodlines. It’s possible to thrive in this system as a member of a clan — the Roosevelts, the Kennedys and the Bushes — but it’s not possible to survive in this system if your mentality is entirely clannish.
Jared_Kushner  David_Brooks  Donald_Trump  personal_connections  nepotism  White_House  clans 
may 2017 by jerryking
At Luxury Stores, It Isn’t Shopping, It’s an Experience - WSJ
By Christina Binkley
April 16, 2017

What do luxury retailers in urban areas do when they face heavy pressure from the internet? Make their stores an experience. The high-end stores of tomorrow won’t try to compete with online retailers on price or convenience. Instead, they’ll do what many luxe shops are experimenting with now—turning themselves into destinations that customers go to visit instead of simply shop.....Stores will offer human connections, entertaining discoveries and dining options. And instead of being designed to feature one kind of inventory, the stores will function like pop-ups—completely changing what they offer from time to time, or even sweeping products aside to host community events......digital-native shoppers will determine how stores look and function, particularly in cities, where online alternatives with two-hour delivery windows are already plentiful.....

“Selling things isn’t going to be obvious. It’s going to be about selling experiences,” says John Bricker, creative director for Gensler, one of the world’s largest architectural firms with a global retail design practice......In some cases, retailers go so far to create destinations that they don’t even try to sell their signature products. The Gensler-designed Cadillac House in the lobby of the car maker’s New York headquarters is an art gallery and coffeehouse, with luxe white sedans on display by the entrance. People wander in for free Wi-Fi, then get familiar with the car brand by examining the vehicles, says Mr. Bricker. (The cars can’t be purchased there; legally, one must buy from a dealer.)....The strategy of providing a total experience is also spreading to independent retailers that aren’t aiming solely at high-end customers......These shifts are being followed by mass retailers as well. The idea: to move beyond the big-box strategy of the past—where companies built giant stores that people would go out of their way to visit—and build specially tailored stores in urban areas where customers live......Target recently decided to invest $7 billion in renovating its huge suburban stores and building new small-format urban stores, in a strategy to use the large stores as distribution centers for digital orders while creating a network of small city stores that will be located within easy reach of urban dwellers, both for offline shopping and picking up or returning online orders.

Brian Cornell, Target’s chief executive officer, says products will be selected for local populations by store managers who place orders from a catalog—less pet food and more snacks and notebooks for a store near a college campus, for instance.

Target looked at stores like Story in forming the strategy. “We learned a lot about agility,” from Story,
retailers  e-commerce  luxury  customer_experience  millennials  experiential_marketing  localization  merchandising  pop-ups  digital_natives  galleries  coffeehouses  brands  personal_connections  Target  agility  small_spaces  big-box  BOPIS  distribution_centres 
april 2017 by jerryking
Do People Need Libraries in the Digital Age? - Speakeasy - WSJ
Feb 12, 2014| WSJ| by Christopher John Farley.

Google recently launched a program called “Helpouts” which connects people with experts. There’s no reason future libraries couldn’t do something similar, acting as a hub for putting people in touch, via Skype or in person, with book authors, professors, and learned members of the community. A number of places around the world are already setting up such “living libraries,” allowing people to contact people in the know directly. The Ptolemies pioneered a similar concept, bringing together some of the leading thinkers of the Hellenistic world for the Museum at Alexandria, which was linked to the Great Library.

Libraries of the future could be places we go not to just check out books, but to check out each other–to participate, face to face, in cultural activities in a way we can’t do over the internet. Some of this is being done. Perhaps more of it needs to be done soon.
libraries  expertise  human_experience  personal_libraries  personal_connections 
february 2014 by jerryking
Don't network, make contact
Feb. 11 2004 | The Globe and Mail | BARBARA MOSES.

Good networking is a two-way street. Skilled networkers don't think of themselves as networking but rather as exchanging information. Whenever someone tells me about a great networking experience they had, I ask them two questions. "What did you learn from them?" "What information did you pass on?"

In good networking there always is a mutual connection. Done well, networking is like the most graceful dancing. Both parties are stimulated by the interaction. No one feels used. At its best, there is a deeply satisfying emotional and intellectual connection. Done poorly, nothing is more off-putting.

Good networkers are "wired," with broad connections that range beyond their own professional boundaries and into all walks of life. They cultivate relationships with people who know how to get things done. Like good mentors, they are genuinely curious about people and what they are thinking, and like to make things happen for others. They like to bring together interesting people and ideas -- and they are as proud of making things happen for others as they are of the number of names in their personal organizer.
networking  Barbara_Moses  serving_others  personal_connections  emotional_connections 
december 2013 by jerryking
The man with the key to China: Barrick Gold’s quest to open new doors - The Globe and Mail
Dec. 06 2013 | The Globe and Mail | RACHELLE YOUNGLAI - MINING REPORTER.

The former Goldman Sachs president has spent more than 20 years working with Chinese policymakers. He shares Mr. Munk’s vision of turning Barrick into a diversified mining giant and tapping China to join the effort...Mr. Thornton said his Barrick talks with the Chinese have been with the highest levels of the communist government right on down the system. He stresses he does not want what he calls a “transactional” or one-off deal with the Chinese. He wants to build an enduring relationship with the government...Mr. Thornton envisions Barrick first doing one “thing that is relatively modest” with the Chinese. For example, he says Barrick could consider a Chinese construction company for Pascua Lama. Mr. Thornton has not spoken to any such companies about the South American mine and says it’s only an example.

Michael Evans, a Goldman vice-chairman who worked with Mr. Thornton for years in London and Asia, describes Mr. Thornton as a hugely strategic operator who “loves flawless execution” and prefers to work behind the scenes...In the mid-1990s, Mr. Thornton got wind that the vice-premier at the time, Zhu Rongji, wanted to reform some of the country’s state-owned telecoms.

Mr. Thornton, who had taken Britain’s Vodafone public in the late-1980s, arranged for a meeting with the number 2 banker at the newly formed state-owned Chinese investment bank, a Chinese national who did not speak English.

Through a translator late at night in Beijing, Mr. Thornton said: “Here’s the real situation, you call yourself a banker and yet you know nothing about banking. I am in charge of Goldman Sachs Asia and China and I know nothing about any one of those. So we have a perfect marriage here. You’re going to teach me China and I am going to teach you banking and I am going to make you look like a hero in front of Zhu Rongji and everyone else who is important to you. And I don’t need any visibility, credit, anything. All I want to do is understand China out of this whole process.”

Mr. Thornton stressed his experience with Vodafone...
Barrick  gold  mining  John_Thornton  CEOs  relationships  Goldman_Sachs  personal_connections  Tsinghua  boards_&_directors_&_governance  barter  transactional_relationships 
december 2013 by jerryking
Airbnb
Airbnb is an online service that matches people seeking vacation rentals and other short-term accommodations with those with rooms to rent, generally private parties that are not professional hoteliers. The site was founded in October 2007 by Brian Chesky and Joe Gebbia. In July 2012, the company had over 200,000 listings in 30,285 cities and 192 countries. Listings include private rooms, entire apartments, castles, boats, manors, tree houses, tipis, igloos, private islands and other properties.
Marriott  2012  Cultural_Trends  Personal_Connections 
october 2012 by melmit
Want an edge? Call the CEO - The Globe and Mail
Jul. 03 2012 | The Globe and Mail | FABRICE TAYLOR.

Investing is a game of scarce advantages, yet an edge is difficult to come by in the stock market. You certainly don’t get one by just reading financial statements. A million others are doing that. Ditto with screening tools. They’re useful as a starting point but. again, they’re not exclusive to you.

It’s the same with the Internet. Any monkey can Google, so you’re not going to get an edge by spending hours scouring the darkest corners of the Web.

The only thing that can give you an edge is making connections that few others have, or interpreting what sources say to you.... No matter how much you read, how much time you spend, how elaborate your Excel model, you will never understand a business better than the CEO. Not only do they live and breath their work every day, and likely have for years, they also have information you don’t have. What you look at – the latest results – are dated. He or she has real time and, in fact, advance data.

Q1:one of my favourites is: “Who is the best analyst on your stock and why?”
Q2: Another good question for a CEO who doesn’t appear too promotional is whether it’s a good time to attract a lot of investor attention.

Sponge up insights about their companies and their suppliers, competitors and customers, as well as coming technological changes that could hurt or help a business....investing in one company on the basis of ideas received from another is a “bank shot,” like a basketball bouncing into the hoop. “The ability to look beyond just the numbers to see all different types of bank shots is something that can’t be replicated by a spreadsheet,”
slight_edge  CEOs  due_diligence  proprietary  informational_advantages  Communicating_&_Connecting  interpretation  real-time  questions  humint  financial_statements  insights  exclusivity  personal_knowledge  personal_connections  personal_meetings  personal_relationships  technological_change  bank_shots 
july 2012 by jerryking
10 Things They Don't Tell You at Graduation - WSJ.com
April 27, 2012 | WSJ | By CHARLES WHEELAN.

10 Things Your Commencement Speaker Won't Tell You

April 27, 2012 | WSJ | By CHARLES WHEELAN.

10 Things Your Commencement Speaker Won't Tell You

1. Your time in fraternity basements was well spent. The same goes for the time you spent playing intramural sports, working on the school newspaper or just hanging with friends. ...One of the most important causal factors associated with happiness and well-being is your meaningful connections with other human beings....think "friendships.

2. Some of your worst days lie ahead. Graduation is a happy day. But my job is to tell you that if you are going to do anything worthwhile, you will face periods of grinding self-doubt and failure. Be prepared to work through them. ... no one can afford to retire.

3. Don't make the world worse. .... don't use your prodigious talents to mess things up.

4. Marry up

5. Help stop the Little League arms race. Kids' sports are becoming ridiculously structured and competitive. What happened to playing baseball because it's fun? We are systematically creating races out of things that ought to be a journey. We know that success isn't about simply running faster than everyone else in some predetermined direction.

6. Read obituaries. They are just like biographies, only shorter. They remind us that interesting, successful people rarely lead orderly, linear lives.

7. Your parents don't want what is best for you. They want what is good for you, which isn't always the same thing. There is a natural instinct to protect our children from risk and discomfort, and therefore to urge safe choices. Theodore Roosevelt—soldier, explorer, president—once remarked, "It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed."

8. Don't model your life after a circus animal. Performing animals do tricks because their trainers throw them peanuts or small fish for doing so. You should aspire to do better. You will be a friend, a parent, a coach, an employee—and so on. But only in your job will you be explicitly evaluated and rewarded for your performance. Don't let your life decisions be distorted by the fact that your boss is the only one tossing you peanuts. ...

9. It's all borrowed time. Take nothing for granted, not even tomorrow. ....the "hit by a bus" rule. Would I regret spending my life this way if I were to get hit by a bus next week or next year? And the important corollary: Does this path lead to a life I will be happy with and proud of in 10 or 20 years if I don't get hit by a bus.

10. Don't try to be great. Being great involves luck and other circumstances beyond your control. The less you think about being great, the more likely it is to happen. And if it doesn't, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being solid.
commencement  Colleges_&_Universities  good_enough  public_speaking  speeches  Communicating_&_Connecting  new_graduates  self-doubt  failure  risk-taking  discomforts  marriage  obituaries  Theodore_Roosevelt  happiness  friendships  arms_race  personal_connections  advice  affirmations  beyond_one's_control  luck  mybestlife 
april 2012 by jerryking
How to Build Your Network
December 2005 | HBR | Brian Uzzi and Shannon Dunlap.

Strong personal networks don't just happen at the watercooler. They have to be carefully constructed.Networks offer three unique advantages: private information, access to different skills and power. Leaders see the benefits of working every day, but perhaps not pause to examine how their networks are governed....Here's how to strengthen your connections.

Paul Revere was an information broker, a person who occupies a key role in a social network by connecting disparate groups of people....Networks determine which ideas become breakthroughs, which new drugs are prescribed, which farmers cultivate pest-resistant crops, and which R&D engineers makes the most high impact discoveries....When we make judgments, we use both public and private information. These days, public information is readily available from various sources, including the Internet, but precisely because it is so accessible, public information provides a competitive advantage much less than usual. Privacy, however, gathered from personal contacts that can offer something unique that can not be found in public spaces such as the release of a new product, the novel software code, or knowledge of this what a particular investigator seeks in candidates. Private information, therefore, may provide an advantage for executives, but is more subjective than public information, because it usually is not marked by an independent third party, such as Dun & Bradstreet. Therefore, the value of your private information to others and the value of your private information depends on how much confidence exists in the network of relationships....the best way to have a good idea is to have a lot of ideas....And when you trade information or skills with people whose experiences differ from your own, you provide one another with unique, exceptionally valuable resources....Power was repositioned in the network's information brokers, who could adapt to changes in the organization, develop clients, and synthesize opposing points of view.
These brokers weren't necessarily at the top of the hierarchy or experts in the field, but they linked specialists in the firm with trustworthy and informative ties.
networking  social_networking  social_capital  HBR  howto  networks  nonpublic  confidence  slight_edge  proprietary  relationships  exclusivity  public_information  private_information  inequality_of_information  homogeneity  heterogeneity  dual-consciousness  power_brokers  network_power  personal_chemistry  personal_connections  judgment  prolificacy  subjectivity  information_brokers  intentionality 
march 2012 by jerryking
Connections with Integrity
February 13, 2012 |Strategy + BUsiness | by Reid Hoffman.

The venture capitalist who co-founded LinkedIn reveals the surefire system that he has used since high school for evaluating potential business relationships.....It seems counterintuitive, but the more altruistic your attitude, the more benefits you will gain from the relationship. If you insist on a quid pro quo every time you help others, you will have a much narrower network and a more limited set of opportunities. Conversely, if you set out to help others by introducing them to the right people, simply because you think it’s the right thing to do, you will rapidly reinforce your own reputation and expand your universe of possibilities. For me, that is the greatest value of understanding alliances; it can help you build the kind of network on which great careers are built.
networking  LinkedIn  Reid_Hoffman  social_networking  social_capital  serving_others  counterintuitive  transactional_relationships  integrity  quid_pro_quo  alliance  the_right_people  personal_connections 
march 2012 by jerryking
1,000 or so words...on pictures
Dec 21, 2002 | The Globe and Mail pg. A.2 | by Edward GreensponWhen
the crucial role photography plays in today's Globe and Mail and the contribution it makes to humanizing the paper....

we learned the prosecutor had dropped the charges against Ms. Turner, we knew right away we wanted the story on the front page. She was our kind of person -- hard-working, industrious, principled, fearless -- and she had persevered.

Only later did we see the picture on Erin's screen that would grace the front page the next day. It showed an extremely contented woman, vindicated at last. Don Weber tells me that he, the reporter, Ms. Turner, her husband, Paul, and her lawyer, Clayton Ruby, went over to a Tim Hortons near the Brampton courthouse. She told Mr. Ruby she was relieved and asked if it was okay to show it. She then looked up at Mr. Weber "with that huge smile." By my calculation, the photo actually took up the physical space on the page of a thousand words. It was well worth every one of them.
ProQuest  Edward_Greenspon  journalists  journalism  Globe_&_Mail  photography  personal_connections  physical_space  hard_work  humanize  portraits  fearlessness 
november 2011 by jerryking
Why Networking Isn't About Achieving Personal Gain
2004 | Wall Street Journal | By Barbara Moses. Good networkers
extend their connections beyond their immediate professional boundaries.
They cultivate relationships with people who know how to get things
done... They enjoy bringing together interesting people and ideas, and
they are as proud of making things happen for others as they are of how
many people are listed in their personal organizers. Skilled networkers
don't view staying connected with others as networking, seeing it
instead as exchanging information. The best networkers rarely expect a
personal payoff...having benefited from their contacts' kindness and
help, they`re seeking opportunities to reciprocate and hope they'll do
the same...Adept networkers are huge information synthesizers who can
see connections that aren't obvious between people, things and ideas.
From the initial presenting issue, they can identify a higher idea the
other person might not have seen and make creative referrals...they're
idea generators.
personal_connections  Barbara_Moses  connecting_the_dots  networking  tips  serving_others  Communicating_&_Connecting  idea_generation  ideas  non-obvious  latent  hidden  information_synthesis  referrals  value_added  packaging  personal_payoffs 
december 2010 by jerryking
Build your connections but go for quality, not quantity
Aug 28, 2010 | Financial Times . pg. 31 | Jonathan Moules. in
an age of mass social networking, too many people concentrate on the
quantity of connections they make rather the quality. "It is who needs
you and what they say about you that counts, and that only comes from
building better relationships, not necessarily more relationships,"
ProQuest  networking  Communicating_&_Connecting  personal_connections  quality  relationships 
september 2010 by jerryking
How To Lunch
May 3, 2010 | Financial Times pg. 12 | by Rhymer Rigby. How do
you make sure your working lunch works?
What is the point of a business lunch? Unlike a meeting, sitting down
and breaking bread with someone gives them a chance to open up, relax
and make a real connection." "Lunch is more discursive and an
opportunity to talk more broadly," "A business lunch turns a
transactional relationship into something deeper."tell people why you're
inviting them to lunch," says Ms Ellis. "Is it to discuss strategy or
to thank them for putting business your way? If you don't tell them, it
can be awkward."
ProQuest  etiquette  networking  howto  restaurants  lunchtime  personal_connections  Communicating_&_Connecting  transactional_relationships  candour  transparency 
may 2010 by jerryking

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