perfectionism   674

« earlier    

It’s Not Me, It’s You—A Letter to Perfection - Vironika Tugaleva
via Pocket - It’s Not Me, It’s You—A Letter to Perfection - Added March 25, 2019 at 09:18AM
IFTTT  Pocket  perfectionism  reading 
23 days ago by taldy
Twitter
RT : is creating a gap, and many - especially - believe they need to be perfect to le…
Perfectionism  girls  leadership  from twitter
10 weeks ago by sajones81
How To Finish | Lynn Steger Strong
We all have grand ambitions. We all have ideas about the books we want to write, but, just like every other part of life, the reality is a bit more flawed and wanting. Language is hard and complicated and has an infinite number of limits. Books are constricting containers and plot and character demand certain mechanical choices that might feel less than we hoped at first. The books we write will be lesser versions of the books that live inside our heads.

Please mourn this quickly.

Now, imagine: you no longer have to be Dostoyevsky, or [insert here] the bolded all caps name you think of when you don’t measure up. Your book will fail in thousands of ways, but what are the ways in which you know you can succeed? Think of all the ways the books you love fail. Spend some time, in the face of this, considering your strengths and the small surmountable ways you might actually pull something off.
how_to  personal_reminder  perfectionism 
11 weeks ago by crystaljjlee
How Perfectionism Can Be Destructive - The Atlantic
In maladaptive perfectionism, meanwhile, people make an archive of all their failures. They revisit these archives constantly, thinking, as Pryor puts it, “I need to make myself feel terrible so I don’t do this again.”

Brustein says his perfectionist clients tend to devalue their accomplishments, so that every time a goal is achieved, the high lasts only a short time, like “a gas tank with a hole in it.” If the boss says you did a great job, it’s because he doesn’t know anything. If the audience likes your work, that’s because it’s too stupid to know what good art actually is.

Then they double down, “raising the expectation bar even higher, which increases the likelihood of defeat, which makes you self-critical, so you raise the bar higher, work even harder,” she says.

"Pryor notes that many of her clients are wary she’ll “turn them into some degenerate couch potato and teach them to be okay with it.” Instead, she tries to help them think through the parts of their perfectionism they’d like to keep, and to lose the parts that are ruining their lives."


“Aim high, but get comfortable with good enough.” When they don’t get some internship or award, she encourages them to remember that “one outcome is not a basis for a broad conclusion about the person’s intelligence, qualifications, or potential for the future.”

The treatment for perfectionism might be as simple as having patients keep logs of things they can be proud of, or having them behave imperfectly in small ways, just to see how it feels. “We might have them hang the towels crooked or wear some clothing inside out,” says Martin Antony, a professor in the department of psychology at Ryerson University in Toronto.

Brustein likes to get his perfectionist clients to create values that are important to them, then try to shift their focus to living according to those values rather than achieving specific goals. It’s a play on the “You really stuck with it” message for kids. In other words, it isn’t about doing a headstand in yoga class; it’s about going to yoga class in the first place, because you like to be the kind of person who takes care of herself.
perfectionism  psychology  anxiety 
12 weeks ago by emmacarlson

« earlier    

related tags

2018  2019  academia  adamgrant  adulting  alwayson  annehelenpetersen  anxiety  arnekalleberg  art  assessment  aversion  balance  behavior  best  brainpickings  burnout  call-out-culture  canon  capitalism  cbt  certainty  child  children  chores  codeforamerica  codo  cognition  colleges  competition  congnitiveload  consumption  context  cooperation  creativity  criticalthinking  criticism  cultural-syndrome  culture  cv  cw  dangerous  david_duchemin  decisionmaking  delegating  depression  design  development  disappointment  disease  downside  downsides  drawing  earthquakes  economics  edg  editorslife  education  efficiency  email  ethics-of-work  execute  exhaustion  expectation  expectations  facebook  fear  florence  fragile  generations  generationx  genx  genz  getrichslowly  gigeconomy  girls  gpa  grades  grading  gradschool  happiness  hbr  health  helicopterparenting  helicopterparents  homelessness  how_to  howwelearn  hustle  hustling  idea.debt  ideas  ifttt  imperfect  impossible  improvement  inequality  insecurity  instagram  intervention  intolerable  introspection  japan  jkrowling  joshcohen  labor  labour  laziness  leadership  learning  left-purism  leftists  leisure  letting_go  life  linkedin  living  love  malcolmharris  management  martinlutherkingjr  maximizing  mc  mel-robbins  men  mental-health  mental_health  mentalhealth  meritocracy  microlabor  millennials  mindset  mlk  money  motivation  neoliberalism  overwork  parent  parenthood  parenting  parents  passion  perfect  perfecting  perfection  perfectionist  performance  personal_reminder  personalbranding  photography  pocket  poverty  pragmatism  precarity  privilege  procrastination  productivity  programming  psychology  quality  randomness  reading  recovery  relationships  resilience  rise  risktaking  ruthwhippman  sales  satisficing  schooliness  seldo  self-awareness  self-care  self-compassion  self-help  self-improvement  self-management  self-optimization  self_improvement  selfcare  selfhelp  sense_of_control  skills  social-media  socialmedia  society  software  solidarity  speed  srg  starting  steadiness  stevejobs  stoicism  stress  students  study  success  successdaily  sud  suicide  surfing  survival_techniques  teaching  the_david  theatre  thinking  tips  to-read  top  twitter  twitterstorians  tx  universities  us  videos  wabi-sabi  well-being  women  work-ethic  work-lifebalance  work  worklifebalance  worklifeintegration  workplace  wow  writing  youth  youtube  zenhabits 

Copy this bookmark:



description:


tags: