misogyny   3949

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The Men Who Never Have to Grow Up - The New York Times
Fuck these men. They're just scum.

Possible some finally outgrow, like Teddy. Barely.
misogyny  privilege  yesallwomen 
yesterday by browneyedgirl65
The Shocking Connection Between Street Harassment And Street Lighting
1/ Referring to street lights as a “gender neutral issue” is a way for city officials to apply a “one size fits all” approach to a situation where the “one size” is clearly best suited to men and their needs.
As a result, the distinct needs of women are not reflected in transportation policy-making and urban planning practices, which has a tangible impact on how our streets look and who is able to use them.
In deciding where street lights are located, the most common approach is to only provide street lights at intersections and along major arterial streets (typically streets with high motorist speeds and multiple travel lanes). While this may satisfy the safety needs and comfort levels of men, women still report not feeling safe walking in dimly lit areas. As a result, this forces women to either consciously or subconsciously change their route to travel along better-lit streets at night.
urban  planning  city  street  lighting  feminism  misogyny 
2 days ago by Quercki
laureljupiter: I’m looking at screenshots of this...
The problem is that at some point in his career, Joss became so intent on the masochistic fantasy of being hated by strong women for being a nerd that he spent a decade writing stories about violating those women to ensure they would hate him.
JossWhedon  misogyny  television 
3 days ago by mournjargon
Jennifer Berdahl: The "crazy/bitch" narrative about senior academic women | Georgia Straight Vancouver's News & Entertainment Weekly
When I was a graduate student there weren’t many senior women in my department. There were narratives about them that seemed unique to each woman: One was crazy—I never really understood why, but there were hushed rumours and we were warned to stay away and not work with her. She had some impressive publications, but they were informally credited to her co-authors. Another senior woman was a "bitch"—she was well known in her "narrow" area of feminist inquiry, but only because few had researched the topic and she'd landed upon low-hanging fruit. She got her job because the department wanted to hire her husband and she didn't deserve the position and knew it. 

The junior female faculty were seen more favourably—as up-and-comers, friendly, and good citizens. According to some senior men, though, some junior women had Achilles' heels that would stunt their success, such as the woman who had kids before tenure (her rookie "star" was sure to fade) and a black woman, an "affirmative action hire" and flight risk due to the lack of black professionals in town. Or so the narratives went. The junior women generally steered clear of the senior ones, and it didn't seem like the senior women helped the juniors. The senior women were generally thought of as competitive, selfish, and threatened. Some of us attributed the negative reputations of the senior women a bit more kindly—to a generation gap: It must have been difficult making it in a male-dominated field when they were young, so they'd had to be steely and selfish to survive.
patriarchy  misogyny  academia  vagina_penalty 
5 days ago by paniedejmirade
Men hate us | Purple Sage
Then I saw this picture yesterday and it’s the perfect illustration of how men openly hate women.

This banner was hung by misogynist frat boys near the University of Cincinnati:

This banner was created to warn (threaten?) women that if they come near they can expect to be given rough blow jobs (which means having a penis shoved down their throats until they gag.) The fact that the text is addressed to a parent of the woman instead of the woman herself makes it even more creepy. The words “your daughter” makes it sound like their target victim is a young woman, presumably a college freshman. The fact that they are addressing this to a parent of a college freshman makes it sound as though the message is addressed to parents (most likely fathers) who are dropping off their freshman daughters at college for the first time. They don’t seem to be the least bit ashamed of communicating to fathers what they will be doing to abuse their daughters. It seems as though they are expecting other men to find this funny.
rape  rape.culture  college  frat  misogyny  hate 
10 days ago by Quercki
Male and Female Co-Workers Switched Email Signatures, Faced Sexism
Schneider had taken over working with a client from Hallberg. “So one day I'm emailing a client back-and-forth about his résumé and he is just being IMPOSSIBLE. Rude, dismissive, ignoring my questions,” he wrote on Twitter. “I was getting sick of his shit when I noticed something. Thanks to our shared inbox, I'd been signing all communications as ‘Nicole.’ It was Nicole he was being rude to, not me.”

Hallberg wasn’t surprised to hear about the correspondence and told Schneider it wasn’t too unusual. She admitted that she’d even used his email signature once or twice before. “You’re shitting me,” she remembers him saying. She assured him: “No, it works. Trust me.” So they decided to spend a week using each other’s email signatures to see what would happen. They “transferred” existing clients to work with a “new editor,” changing signatures on them when in fact they were continuing to email back and forth with the same person, and took up new clients using one another’s names.

“I had a great week; I’m not going to lie,” Hallberg says. “People were more receptive, taking me more seriously. They assumed knew what I was doing. I didn’t have to prove it to them.” She saw fewer suggestions and doubts. Meanwhile, Schneider wrote in his tweets that “I was in hell. Everything I asked or suggested was questioned. Clients I could do in my sleep were condescending. One asked if I was single.”
sexism  misogyny  gender 
11 days ago by Quercki
I'm Done Pretending Men Are Safe (Even My Sons) - Role Reboot
My sons won’t rape unconscious women behind a dumpster, and neither will most of the progressive men I know. But what all of these men share in common, even my sons, is a relentless questioning and disbelief of the female experience. I do not want to prove my pain, or provide enough evidence to convince anyone that my trauma is merited. I’m through wasting my time on people who are more interested in ideas than feelings, and I’m through pretending these people, these men, are safe.

I love my sons, and I love some individual men. It pains me to say that I don’t feel emotionally safe with them, and perhaps never have with a man, but it needs to be said because far too often we are afraid to say it. This is not a reflection of something broken or damaged in me; it is a reflection of the systems we build and our boys absorb. Those little boys grow into men who know the value of women, the value that’s been ascribed to us by a broken system, and it seeps out from them in a million tiny, toxic ways.

I don’t know what the balance is between supporting these men and educating them, but I know the toll it takes on me to try
misogyny  feminism  men 
14 days ago by Quercki
Science Has Consistently Underestimated Women Because Scientists Are Sexist - Broadly
"Science has been historically sexist towards women, and this has affected what research tells us about women," Saini explains in a phone call with Broadly. "I wanted to understand patriarchy through the lens of science."

Historically, women have been consistently excluded from the scientific community—whether it's Marie Curie being rejected from the French Académie des Sciences in 1911, the year she won her second Nobel Prize, or the appalling shortage of women in the STEM sector. "It meant there was space for prejudice to creep in," Saini argues, citing figures like Darwin, who was as fixed in his misogyny as those fossils he loved to study so much (famously, arguing that women were less evolved than men.)

Angela Saini . Photo courtesy of subject
Although Darwin is dead, his legacy remains: there's still scientific work being done today that reinforces misogynistic views.
science  misogyny  patriarchy 
16 days ago by Quercki
When We Mourn Paul Walker, We’re Really Mourning The Death Of Male Friendships | Decider | Where To Stream Movies & Shows on Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Instant, HBO Go
"But Vin Diesel’s modeling of grief is perhaps the most interesting. For most of 2015, Diesel has been eulogizing Walker in every interview, at every promotional stop, and in every other Facebook and Instagram post, referring to Walker as his brother, using the term of endearment Pablo, talking candidly about how sad he was after Walker’s death, and posting pictures and videos of the two of them together. In March he announced that he had named his newborn daughter Pauline after his late friend.

All of this emotion can be explained by what I think we’re really mourning when we mourn Paul Walker: the end of a resonant example of a particular kind of male friendship absent from most of our own lives. That is, when we mourn Paul Walker, we are also mourning the end of Brian and Dom.

Male friendship in America, at present, is in a bad way. As sociologist Lisa Wade reports, “Of all people in America, adult, white, heterosexual men have the fewest friends. Moreover, the friendships they have, if they’re with other men, provide less emotional support and involve lower levels of self-disclosure and trust than other types of friendships.” However, these same men crave deeper, more intimate friendships. As Wade explains, “Men desire the same level and type of intimacy in their friendships as women, but they aren’t getting it.” How come? Misogyny, homophobia, and men’s long-standing anxieties about being “real men,” basically. Wade writes:
To be close friends, men need to be willing to confess their insecurities, be kind to others, have empathy and sometimes sacrifice their own self-interest. “Real men,” though, are not supposed to do these things. They are supposed to be self-interested, competitive, non-emotional, strong (with no insecurities at all), and able to deal with their emotional problems without help. Being a good friend, then, as well as needing a good friend, is the equivalent of being girly.

“When men do have especially close relationships,” notes Alana Massey, “we teasingly call them ‘bromances,’ as if there must be something amorous between two men who choose to spend time together one-on-one.”

In effect, what both Wade and Massey are saying is that somehow straight men in America have internalized the idea that intimate male friendships are gay.

In a weird way, queer theory also encourages this. It would be easy to read, for instance, the onscreen relationship between Brian and Dom as queer in some way, i.e., that the Fast and Furious movies are secretly a romantic love story between Paul Walker’s Brian and Vin Diesel’s Dom. Let me be clear: this is a legitimate – even fun! – reading. The deepest and most-sustained love relationship in the series is between Brian and Dom. Though they each have female partners – Mia (Jordana Brewster) and Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), respectively – their primary emotional sustenance over the course of the franchise comes from each other. Slash fiction exploring this idea in greater depth isn’t hard to find online.

Significantly, the franchise doesn’t explicitly deny this sort of queer reading. There’s none of the anxious disavowal of homosexuality you find in movies such as I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry and I Love You, Man. Nor does Vin Diesel display any of the fear of emotion Wade talks about.

But I don’t think the reflexive queer reading – progressive though it may be – helps explain why Furious 7 can bring a theater full of young straight men to tears. No, I think there’s something else going on here. As Rachel Vorona Cote writes, “Friendship is not a pale imitation of sexual romance. It is a romance unto itself.”

In his book Spiritual Friendship, Wesley Hill argues that friendship today is “a form of love that’s in danger of being downgraded or dismissed in our imaginations.” One of the reasons for this, he contends, is our tendency to think “that the desire for sex is the secret truth of every relationship, so that any mutual liking or interest must be something more than chaste affection.” From this point of view, the intimate friendship between Brian and Dom in the Fast and Furious movies must really be a cover for a sexual relationship. But what might happen, Hill asks, if we take a friendship like Brian and Dom’s at face value? How might that challenge our views of what a friendship can be?

Hill argues “friendship can and should be understood along the lines of a vowed or committed relationship, much like a marriage or a kinship bond.” Hill asks us to imagine “friendship as more stable, permanent, and binding,” “friends more like the siblings we’re stuck with, like it or not, than like our acquaintances,” and “at least some of our friends as, in large measure, tantamount to family.”

You might think the writings of a gay celibate Christian writer like Hill and a multi-billion dollar street racing franchise would have different takes on friendships, but you’d be wrong. As a matter of fact, lines such as Dom’s “I don’t have friends, I’ve got family” and (to Brian/Paul at the end of the film) “You’ll always be my brother” wouldn’t look out of place in Hill’s book. Brian and Dom’s friendship in the movies and Paul and Vin’s friendship in real life are best understood, I would argue, as different versions of the same “spiritual friendship.” Theirs is a union that manages to be resolutely heterosexual but not homophobic, sincere but not self-serious, strong but sensitive.

In a world where straight men are often still worried about being perceived as feminine or gay and thus fail to form close bonds with other men, Brian and Dom’s bond is an important symbolic outlet for normalizing “spiritual friendship” between men. The Fast and Furious franchise offers a post-bromance model of male friendship and suggests a new call to seriousness about friendship’s role and importance. Thus, in mourning Paul Walker, we mourn not only the end of Brian and Dom’s relationship, but also the end of Paul and Vin’s, as well as the dearth of such relationships outside of the Fast and Furious franchise. We mourn our own inadequacy. That’s why it hurts so much. But that mourning is also a celebration, a celebration that something such as Paul Walker’s Teen Choice Award, while seemingly trivial, is one small part of."

[back in circulation because: "Wiz Khalifa’s See You Again is now the most-viewed YouTube video of all time"

via: https://twitter.com/mattthomas/status/884994991570944000 ]

[Related: "It’s Not Just Mike Pence. Americans Are Wary of Being Alone With the Opposite Sex."

"This came in my circles so I'd like to make a thread about it: One conversation we rarely have is about the lack of male female friendships."

thread continues:
"There were some news articles floating around at the beginning of the year about Pence and his rule that he doesn't meet women alone, ever.

Since then, studies have emerged about this problem being an epidemic, presumably not only in the US, especially in workplaces.

The gist of it is that people believe being alone with a woman other than your partner is inappropriate by default. Just think about this.

There is an absolutely insane believe that male female friendships are not real, are inappropriate, are dangerous and problematic.

Think about what impact that has on women's rights, our work, the respect for us. This means, men in power specifically don't know us.

It means that when we talk to men, their underlying concern is that it could be seen as inappropriate - or even feels inappropriate to them.

This obstructs equality more than we may realise. It means there is a barrier of understanding women's ideas and thoughts to begin with.

It ramps up all biases that people pile up and that obstruct change and progress. It means it influences the way people hire.

And no wonder if you think about it: The representation in media, on TV, anywhere of male female friendships is basically non-existent.

All stories we see about male female interaction are romances, jealousy dramas, even work relationships are depicted as romantic.

We. Fail. To. Tell. Stories. Of. Male. Female. Friendships.

We hugely fail telling them, because we believe they don't exist or are boring

There is a whole other layer to this where male female friendships are only possible when one of the parties is "ugly"/nerdy.

The gist of it is: We need to foster healthy, meaningful friendships and colleague relationships to fix gender inequality.

As creators, we can be part of this by telling those stories. Re-define how men and women relate to each other, represent real friendships."]
mattthomas  men  friendship  sexuality  gender  2015  jenniferscheurle    2017wesleyhill  brotherhood  society  bromances  alanamassey  heterosexuality  emotion  emotions  friendships  masculinity  misogyny  homophobia  intimacy  fastandfurious  georgecarlin  vindiesel  paulwalker  wizkhalifa 
16 days ago by robertogreco

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