There's a type of spam most people have never heard of, because it's only sent to people who run successful websites. I call it "promo-spam." It's spam sent from dipshits with made-up job titles like "Social Media Gurus." They're hired by companies trying desperately to dip their ladle into the daily click-stream of bored morons with short attention spans by creating "viral" list articles. They've discovered a simple formula.

Judson Caskey

Road-Runner Prime Cuts and Chops
1. Banana
2. Asparagus
3. Papaya
4. Liquorice
5. Vanilla
6. Sponge Cake
7. Celery
8. Candied Yam
9. Caramel
10. Salami
11. Tamale
12. Chop Suey
13. Noodle
14. Pork Chop
15. Cheddar Cheese
16. Double Martini
17. Bratwurst
18. Yorkshire Pudding
19. Pistachio