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EMAIL - Day 14: 21 Days & 21 Strategies to Change Your Habits
If ten coins are not enough to make a man rich, what if you add one coin? What if you add another? Finally, you will have to say that no one can be rich unless one coin can make him so.

In other words, even though one coin certainly isn’t sufficient to make a man rich, a man only becomes rich by adding one coin after another.

Often, when we consider our actions, it’s clear that any one instance of an action is almost meaningless; yet at the same time, the sum of those actions is very meaningful. Whether we choose to focus on the single coin or the growing heap will shape our behavior. True, any one visit to the gym is inconsequential, but the habit of going to the gym is invaluable.

I haven’t worked on that project for such a long time, there’s no point in working on it this morning.
I’m not going to wear my helmet. What are the chances I have an accident today?
I should keep track of business expenses, but there’s no point in keeping one receipt.
Why work on my report today, when the deadline is so far off?
A year from now, whether I went to a video arcade today won’t matter.
What’s one beer?

By reminding ourselves that the heap grows one coin at a time, we can help keep ourselves on track.
habits  how-to-change  life-advice  gretchen-rubin  start-small  compound-effect 
16 hours ago by lwhlihu
Srinivas Rao - OUR LAST TRIP AS A FAMILY My sister called me...
But with age, time accelerates. Days start to feel like hours, weeks like days, months like weeks, years like months, and decades like years all going by in a blink. And I can feel that pace in every minute even now, 48 hours with a friend until our next encounter, 2 days with a friend I haven't seen in 10 years, and then surf camp in the motherland. It's frenetic, and before long it will all morph from experience to memory.

Families are beautiful, messy and complicated." We fight, disagree, laugh and love. Few things in life force you to confront your mortality like watching your parents age, even if they seem to be aging in reverse like my dad. "Despite not being at the end of your life, you may very well be nearing the end of your time with some of the most important people in your life," says Tim Urban

We take it for granted that we can pick up the phone and they'll always be there just to talk, we have a home where the doors are always open, and they'll never let you leave without being fed, and that you'll always receive that text asking if you've arrived safely even if you're driving no more than an hour away.

If you're fortunate enough to spend time with your aging parents, siblings, aunts, and uncles, it's worth reflecting on the final words of a friend who I lost earlier this summer: never take it for granted.
parents  growing-up  life-advice 
5 days ago by lwhlihu
Two kinds of careening | Seth's Blog
A Toyota Prius passed me at 100 miles an hour. I didn’t know a Prius could even go that fast. The driver was passing on the right, using the breakdown lane, zigging and zagging across traffic. If a car could careen, he was.

The problem with this sort of fast passage is that there’s no room for error. One mistake, one failure, and you’re out.

The other sort of rambunctious, risky forward motion is very different.

This is the work we do when we’re out on a limb with a new idea. When we’re sharing ideas that feel personal or important. This is the work of practical empathy, and most of all, of acting ‘as if’ before we’re sure.

The thing is–even though this might feel as risky as driving down the Saw Mill River Parkway at 100 miles an hour, it’s actually the safest work you can do. If you fail while trying to help, you’ll get another chance. And then another.

Unlimited chances.
seth-godin  work  career  life-advice 
24 days ago by lwhlihu
A note from 2030 | Seth's Blog
Twelve years from now, your future self is going to thank you for something you did today, for an asset you began to build, a habit you formed, a seed you planted.

Even if you’re not sure of where it will lead, today’s the day to begin.
seth-godin  start-now  life-advice  habits 
5 weeks ago by lwhlihu
Hiding in plain sight | Seth's Blog
The answer to your quandary is right there, in front of you.

It’s just that it involves more work, more risk or more trade-offs than you were hoping for.
life-advice  seth-godin 
5 weeks ago by lwhlihu
2 lessons I will teach my future kids
This is one of the TOP 5 PROBLEMS that people email me about. It’s unreal how many people just simply don’t follow through on anything they start. And they know it and hate themselves for it.

I have people who email me, telling me how tired they are of starting something and never following through. In the VERY SAME EMAIL, they pledge to “finally get it together,” so I challenge them with a very small action step and tell them to email me back in exactly 3 days.

I never hear from them again.

I’ve spoken with thousands of these people. When they actually reply, the patterns are identical:

They were smart as kids. They didn’t try very hard at school and still did well
Parents complimented them for how smart/great they were
Once they encountered real challenges (typically, college-level academics and the lack of structure of the real world), they began to fail
Having never failed before and built coping skills, they panicked, got stuck, and here they are
You can find their stories here: “How do I stop being so damn lazy?”

These people explained that they used to love how much “freedom” their parents gave them, but they now wish their parents had pushed them and forced them to learn the skill of discipline.

This is why I laugh when people tell me “all I want for my kids is for them to be happy.” Kids get happy eating 5 bags of Skittles. That doesn’t mean you feed it to them.
parenting  tough-love  discipline  me  ramit-sethi  life-advice  success 
5 weeks ago by lwhlihu
Gretchen Rubin
9. Ask yourself, "Whom do I envy?"
Envy is a very unpleasant emotion, and we often don't even want to admit to ourselves that we're feeling envious.

But negative emotions play a very important role in a happy life, because they warn us that something needs to change. When we envy someone, it's a sign that that person has something that we wish we had for ourselves. And that's useful to know.

When I was considering switching from law to writing, I noticed that when I read in my college magazine about people who had great law careers, I felt a mild interest; when I read about people who had great writing careers, I felt sick with envy. That was an important clue.
acting  me  life-advice 
5 weeks ago by lwhlihu
Uphill both ways | Seth's Blog
Uphill both ways
A naive dream is that it’s possible to go on a long bike ride–and enjoy the journey going downhill in each direction.

Newton had it right… you’re going to need to go uphill in order to go downhill.

Too often, though, we set up our projects and our freelance life in a way that makes it always an uphill slog. If you don’t build an asset and don’t invest in your reputation, all you’ve got left is grunt work.

The hard work is digging in deeper than usual on the uphills–that’s the best chance you have to earn a downhill later.
seth-godin  life-advice  business  success 
7 weeks ago by lwhlihu
The Profile: The NFL's broken gladiator & the startup lending you clothes - - Gmail
“You have to find inner peace to be happy. Nothing you get is gonna make you happy. Just like me, like by having money … having everything in the world, I still was miserable. Know what I mean?”
happiness  life-advice 
7 weeks ago by lwhlihu
Triggers and cycles | Seth's Blog
Triggers and cycles
A trigger prompts a cycle. And a cycle might go on longer than it should.

The first spoonful of ice cream can trigger a cycle of binge eating that you regret later.

The silence of walking into an empty house might trigger you to turn on the TV, and that cycle of wasting time watching nothing that matters goes on all night.

The rush to get out the door leads to a cycle of rushing, which makes your commute a daredevil exercise, one that takes hours to recover from.

It’s really useful to see your cycles and to work to dampen them (it’s almost impossible to go cold turkey).

Even better is to find and eliminate the triggers. That’s surprisingly easy if you care enough. Quit Twitter. Empty your freezer. Wake up ten minutes earlier…

Make these decisions when you’re not in the middle of a cycle.

With the trigger gone, you might discover the cycles are gone too.
seth-godin  how-to-change  habits  life-advice 
7 weeks ago by lwhlihu
Learn How To Take Action And Change Your Life - Neil Strauss
3. Accountability. Can you pick something and follow through? This could be a post all on its own. I can’t emphasize enough how important it is in life to be able to point at something you want to be, set a course, and keep plugging away until you get there or die trying. The time spent on this kind of endeavor pays you back many times over. Again and again.
life-advice  success  habit-to-adopt  me 
7 weeks ago by lwhlihu
LIFE LESSONS WITH DAD PART 2 Dad felt REALLY... - Sterling Alexander Griffin
Which brings me to Dad’s life lesson for today:


I asked Dad what his advice for me in my career was, and he told me it depends on what I wanted from my career.

He asked me what my goals were.

I told him my goals were to build massive wealth, help millions of people change their lives, and make a massive impact through my company and through giving.

He nodded, but then challenged me and asked why?

I thought about it and told him it deeply felt like my purpose. This is why I was created after all. To change lives.

He said, “son, trust me, you can have all that and it still won’t fulfill you. The best thing in life is being with those you love.”

“When I die Sterling, you’ll be taken care of financially, I’ve been preparing for this time, but honestly, the best thing in life is time.

“Time with those you love.”

“You could give me the choice between tens of millions of dollars, and these moments with you. I’d take this right here every time.”
life-advice  sterling-griffin  fulfillment  relationships 
7 weeks ago by lwhlihu
What can I do to not waste my life? : selfimprovement
Do you suffer from some analysis paralysis in your life? I have some friends that don’t want to get jobs or go to school until they “discover their passion”. Are you waiting for a spark or something too? It’s not going to come bite you on the ass. Maybe dip your toes in and get a part-time job you think would be enjoyable or at least not horrible. Sometimes the best part of working is showering, getting dressed, and getting out to socialize with some coworkers or customers. It might not be your passion, but it can get you started.
slump  transforming-your-life  life-advice  me  job-search  advice-to-younger-self 
7 weeks ago by lwhlihu
“Here we go again” | Seth's Blog
Because the more you rehearse this feeling, the more it's going to happen.

We get what we expect.

And we expect what we get.

The easiest way to change this cycle is to alter the scale we play in. If you keep failing at the big stuff, it's worth honing the habit of succeeding at the small stuff first. And if you're finding yourself in a rut, a cycle of failure, walk away from that series of projects and find a new field to plant your seeds in.
seth-godin  slump  life-advice  mindset-success  start-small  transforming-your-life 
8 weeks ago by lwhlihu
THIS IS BECAUSE DIGNITY DOES NOT COME EXTERNALLY BUT FROM WITHIN. From the outside I probably seemed great, but inside I did not feel like a man. I had internal insecurities that stemmed from PMO. So what does it mean to "feel like a man?" Since quitting PMO I feel filled with confident energy, deeper emotion, and a stronger sense of purpose. The only way to understand what I'm talking about is to experience it for yourself. I could have all the girls, fun, and social life in the world but still not feel alive. Again, that is because feeling alive comes from within. SO IF YOU WANT TO FEEL ALIVE THEN YOU HAVE TO CHANGE, NOT YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES. In my experience, this feeling of manhood comes from PMO abstinence (I did hard mode). The difference in how I conduct myself is night and day compared to 90 days ago, because I now conduct myself as a man and not a teenager in a 24 year olds body. I'm more responsible, creative, emotional (in a good way), diligent, and peaceful. Again I want to reiterate it: the greatest benefit of nofap is not that girls suddenly fall at your feet. I could have all the hotties in the world (which would be tight), but self-dignity and a sense of manhood is far greater a reward. The greatest benefit from nofap is feeling like a man. IF YOU ARE ASPIRING TOWARDS 90 DAYS, GET READY TO LIVE FROM SELF RESPECT, NOT FOR SELF RESPECT.


2). WOMEN. Okay, so this is what most want to talk about. It seems in this sub that the thesis is "don't fap, and you can have the confidence to get laid." Sounds great, but that is a porn addicts way of thinking. When you stop fapping you don't need girls to throw themselves at you anymore. Let me phrase it like this: PMO me wished that he could get hot girls in bed at the drop of a dime. Non-PMO realizes that relationship with women is so much more emotionally deep. Yes, I want/like sex, but I don't want to just get laid. I want to fight for and win a woman's heart. That's what men do. Boys just want a porno experience. Men want a chance at developing a relationship with a woman, because women are people and not sex objects. PMO me would chat up girls just to flirt and tease. Non PMO me engages women because the rich conversations and shared experiences are far better than flirting and fantasizing. You might rebut "well after not fapping for 2 weeks I got laid 79 times." Good for you, but I'm not settling for a life of mindless stimulation. I'm striving towards a life of fulfillment. IF YOU ARE ASPIRING TOWARDS 90 DAYS, GET READY TO ENJOY BEING WITH WOMEN, NOT OBJECTIFYING GIRLS.

3). TIPS AND ADVICE First week is the hardest. You're an addict coming off your dope. Don't get obsessed with tips, tricks, and ways to make it easy. You are going to have to go into the furnace of transformation, and let me tell you that you will suffer. Nothing worth having comes easy. But it is worth it, so suffer on. Week 2-4 I got really emotional. This is because I realized how weak of a man I am. I mentioned that the greatest benefit of nofap is feeling like a man. Well to get there, you first have to realize how much of a boy you are. Nofap will take the blinders off of the fantasy world you've been living in. You will confront yourself. I was emotional because I also started craving relationship. PMO numbs our inherent need for relationship with cheap stimulation. You will feel that crave strongly, and it will make you emotional. I cried a couple times for the first time in years (this is a GOOD thing). Again, suffer on. After about 3 weeks or so it's easier to say no to the urges. However, literally from week 4 or 5 UNTIL day 70 I had what I think is called flat line. Feeling less like I'm bursting at the seams with energy, and a little more asexual. You will question if it is even worth it. Should I just look at porn to see if I even feel anything? Don't. To me the flat line is harder than the urges, because at least during the urges there is a strong fight. In the flat line you start to even wonder if the fight is worth it. Post day 70, is when I started to feel the fuller effects of the aforementioned self respect and dignity. IF YOU ARE ASPIRING TOWARDS 90 DAYS, GET READY TO SUFFER. IT'S WORTH IT.

CLOSING: My advice? Just do it. Suffer. Nothing worth having is had easily. You are killing a part of yourself. Kill it. Feel the frustration, the urges, the emotions, the flat lines. Because you will come out the other end feeling like a man.
porn  life-advice 
8 weeks ago by lwhlihu
[Draft] A Complete Beginner's Guide to NoFap : NoFap
As a vet of NoFap (multiple older accounts) I can easily say that the computer screen is a more detrimental and addictive force than a porn site. If you quit porn but not mindless browsing, you'll plateau and inevitably fail to make important changes in your life like I did on my first NoFap run.

I went hard mode for 90+ days on my first rodeo, but there's a catch. I spent 90% of my free time playing video games. I thought it would just be a magical transformation. It isn't.

NoFap is one step in the larger campaign of freeing yourself from mindless, instant gratification. The modern personal computer is really not much more than a glorified Skinner's box for humans. You'll learn to appreciate the feeling of true boredom once you realize that what usually comes after is inspired by a genuine energy.

People, books, and the real world are so much more interesting when you eliminate lower forms of thoughtless entertainment. I recommend two days away from a computer (phone included unless using just for calls) to see just what I mean, coupled with NoFap if possible.
porn  cell-phone-use  millenials  life-advice  deep-work 
8 weeks ago by lwhlihu
The bed-bug whisperer of Brooklyn | The Outline
“For the most part, once you start asking people questions they get away from hysteria and start making a game plan,” he said. “They just want you to tell them it’s going to be okay.”
coaching  life-advice  how-to-help-others 
8 weeks ago by lwhlihu
Mirror, mirror | Seth's Blog
If you're fortunate enough to have a selfie with President Obama, with Bono or with Sarah Jones, what do you look at when you look at the picture? Do you focus on the tie he was wearing, or her earrings? Or are you worried about the bit of parsley that was in your teeth or the ridiculous jacket you were wearing that day?

We like to see.

But mostly, we're worried about being seen.

We spend far more time looking at ourselves in sunglasses than anyone else ever will.

And social media might appear to be about seeing what others are doing. But it's actually about our juxtaposition with those others, our standing, our status… The reason we want to know what people are saying behind our backs isn't because we care about them, it's because we care about us.

The culture of celebrity that came with TV has shifted. It's no longer about hoping for a glimpse of a star. It's back to the source–hoping for a glimpse of ourselves, ourselves being seen.
seth-godin  life-advice  social-media  millenials  inner-game 
8 weeks ago by lwhlihu
DeMar DeRozan opens up about mental health struggles athletes face
DeMar DeRozan has been very open about his battle with depression. From an outsiders point of view, the NBA star has it all. His contract, 5 years $139,000,000 ensures that he is financially well off, which many people associate with being in a good place. 

But in a recent feature story by ESPN’s Jackie MacMullan about the NBA’s mental health issue, DeRozan spoke to the point that being rich doesn’t mean everything else comes easily.

“You think when you come from a difficult environment that if you get out and you make it to the NBA, all that bad stuff is supposed to be wiped clean,” DeRozan told MacMullan “But then this whole new dynamic loaded with stress comes your way.

“People say, ‘What are you depressed about? You can buy anything you want.’ I wish everyone in the world was rich so they would realize money isn’t everything.”
depression  money  happiness  athletes  wealth  life-advice 
8 weeks ago by lwhlihu

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