id:lazulisong   45

do u expect me, a gay, to remember everything i write - lazulisong - 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù [Archive of Our Own]
"What?" says Shang Qinghua. "No, he's not. Why would he court me? He thinks I'm like, a hamster."

"Okay, then why is he dropping like, monsters and shit at your door?" says Cucumber-bro. "That's how they like, show people they can provide for them or whatever."

"Why would they do that!" shrieks Shang Qinghua. "I never --"

"It was a plot point, dude," says Cucumber-bro, in the slow, patient voice of someone speaking to a stupid dog. "It was an actual, literal plot point you typed in with your own like, sinful hands."

"No it wasn't," says Shang Qinghua immediately. "I think I would like, fucking remember writing a scene where some chick gets an actual fucking dragon corpse dropped on her door and immediately gives it up for the person who brought it!"
fic  f:ScumVillain  slash  s:ShangQinghua/MobeiJun  getting-together  humor  'ao3  id:Lazulisong 
4 weeks ago by esther_a
flourish, full-flowered - lazulisong - 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù [Archive of Our Own]
The landlady says, "How many rooms would you like, sir?" at Lan Wangji, in a way that strongly implies that Wei Wuxian had better not be chasing after a handsome alpha cultivator trying to return him to the bosom of his family before Wei Wuxian managed to irretrievably compromise himself.

Wei Wuxian opens his mouth to say "Two, please, auntie," in an effort to save Lan Wangji's reputation, but before the words leave his mouth, Lan Wangji says,

"One."

Both Wei Wuxian and the landlady stare at him. It's clear that the landlady is trying to figure out if this upright-looking cultivator is the one actually taking advantage of a scrawny omega with donkey shit on his boots, but Wei Wuxian isn't much less confused.
fic  id:Lazulisong  f:MDZS  slash  s:WeiWuxian/LanWangJi  AU  a/b/o  getting-together  'ao3 
9 weeks ago by esther_a
metaphorically speaking - lazulisong - 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù [Archive of Our Own]
"I had a question for the Peak Lord," says Luo Binghe, voice sweet, eyes cold. "A dialect question."

If Shang Qinghua was sweating before, he's dripping fucking rivers now. He and Cucumber-bro communicate in a horrible mix of memes, internet slang, Chinglish and modern Chinese, mostly but not entirely incomprehensible for any outsider. Luo Binghe had decided it must be some hometown dialect that they shared, despite any evidence of Shen Qingqui and Shang Qinghua ever speaking to each other before they both had the shitty luck to be transmigrated, and devoted himself to learning his beloved Shizun's birth dialect. Fuck! Why was Shang Qinghua dumb enough to have made it a plot point that Luo Binghe had a god level ability to pick up languages!

.... right, so he could pick up some girl's dialect and seduce her more easily, but it wasn't fair that this monogamous version of his son could still do it, okay!!
fic  id:Lazulisong  f:ScumVillain  slash  s:ShenQingqiu/LuoBinghe  s:ShangQinghua/MobeiJun  crack  humor  'ao3 
11 weeks ago by esther_a
that's where you belong - lazulisong - 镇魂 | Guardian (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
First of all, how dare Shen Wei. Second of all, Zhao Yunlan has been looking forward to this for like, as long as he's been aware that Shen Wei is an alpha. Third of all --
fic  id:Lazulisong  f:Guardian  slash  s:ZhaoYunlan/ShenWei  pwp  explicit  a/b/o  'ao3 
october 2018 by esther_a
What IS this show?
3. in conclusion, to quote chinese sellers selling doujinshi, if this is what you’re looking for, it’s exactly what you’re looking for. if it’s not, maybe don’t try it.

So having said all that! Do you like eternal pining? Do you like identity porn? Do you like EXTREMELY COMPETENT PEOPLE with three piece suits / bad boy taste in leather jackets? Do you like special team shenanigans? Do you like wuxia?

HAVE I GOT A PIECE OF TRASH GARBAGE FOR YOU.
nf  f:Guardian  we-have-cookies  'tumblr  id:Lazulisong  f:WebNovels 
september 2018 by esther_a
this secret language that we speak - lazulisong - 镇魂 | Guardian (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
"If you don't want to do this any more," says Shen Wei, "you get off the couch, and we'll do whatever you want. Do you understand?"

Zhao Yunlan is so hot he thinks he's going to light the couch on fire. He swallows and nods.

"I didn't hear you," says Shen Wei, implacable as death. "Do you understand?"

Zhao Yunlan has to clear his throat, and when he manages to speak, his voice is gravelled with arousal. "Yeah. I do."

"Good," says Shen Wei.
fic  id:Lazulisong  f:Guardian  slash  s:ZhaoYunlan/ShenWei  explicit  kink  pwp  d/s  'ao3 
august 2018 by esther_a
talk crap get smacked - lazulisong - Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime) [Archive of Our Own]
The entire hockey team falters, faced by Katsuki's dark eyes shaded by his inky eyelashes. It's very effective. Mila's going to find out what mascara he uses.

"Did - did someone pull a prank on you?" says Katsuki. His Russian isn't terrible, but between his soft voice and his frankly adorable accent, half-American and half-Japanese, he sounds like a little lost lamb.
fic  id:Lazulisong  f:YoI  gen  slash  s:Canon_Pairings  humor  'ao3 
august 2017 by esther_a
Re: Blonde Joke - lazulisong - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]
A blond and a brunette walk into a bar. It's not the first time it's happened, and it definitely won't be the last.
fic  id:Lazulisong  f:Marvel  f:CaptainAmerica  f:Hawkeye  gen  s:Steve/Bucky  'ao3  movie-verse  f:MCU 
october 2014 by esther_a
fair market value - lazulisong - Captain America (Movies), xxxHoLic [Archive of Our Own]
"you must have a wish," says the lady.

"i ain't got money," says bucky, still frozen in place. "i was just --"
fic  id:Lazulisong  f:Marvel  f:CaptainAmerica  crossover  f:xxxholic  gen  short  'ao3  movie-verse  f:MCU 
july 2014 by esther_a
it won't be a stylish marriage - lazulisong - Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
There's no way even Steve's subconscious is screwed up enough to come up with 'and then I went shopping for a ring to marry my best friend with Howard Stark's son's ladyfriend helping me pick one out at Tiffany's while Howard Stark's son lurked behind us pretending not to be deeply interested in the proceedings'.
fic  id:Lazulisong  f:Marvel  f:CaptainAmerica  slash  s:Steve/Bucky  'ao3  marriage:weddings/proposals  movie-verse  getting-together  f:MCU 
june 2014 by esther_a
re: re: re: re: bad ideas you and clint barton have had - lazulisong - Captain America (Movies), Hawkeye (Comics), Hawkguy - Fandom [Archive of Our Own]
You live with your best friend Steve in a giant tower in New York with seven or eight other crazy people and a cat named Cat and three robots and a voice that comes from the walls.

You're doing better now.
fic  id:Lazulisong  f:Marvel  f:Avengers  f:CaptainAmerica  gen  short  humor  'ao3  movie-verse  f:MCU 
may 2014 by esther_a
learn and let learn - lazulisong - Teen Wolf (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
In a universe slightly left and more magical realism to canon, Derek does leather-work and has a platonic boner crush on Scott. Stiles is Scott's bestie and Emissary in training, and he needs to make his grimoire.
fic  id:Lazulisong  f:TeenWolf  slash  AU  short  'ao3  s:Stiles/Derek 
february 2014 by esther_a
You Are The Reason - lazulisong - Teen Wolf (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
Logically Derek's not directly responsible for some idiot buttwipe waking up one morning and deciding they ought to summon a lich, but logic, as Stiles is always telling him, is not exactly Derek's strong point.
fic  id:Lazulisong  f:TeenWolf  slash  'ao3  s:Stiles/Derek 
april 2013 by esther_a

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