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GoonShowRadio
This is a trial streaming radio station that streams various episodes of the Goon Show. Tune in and enjoy!
goons  radio  humour  humor  streaming  tolisten 
5 hours ago by bezthomas
Kohler releases the most romantic toilet commercial ever made
A piano plays. We see a montage of faces. Happy faces. Perhaps, the happiest faces that have ever been happy before.

“Imagine having the power to make everyday moments more meaningful,” the screen reads. What is the secret? What ancient wisdom do they know that we do not know?

Two minutes of art-directed perfection later, we find out. The answer is Kohler’s new smart line of “Konnect” bathroom products. This voice- and gesture-controlled smart mirror, shower, bathtub, faucet, and, most of all, toilet promise to not just make your life better, but flood your psyche with nonstop waves of ecstasy from the moment the plumber tightens the final bolt on your porcelain throne.
technology  toilet  iot  humour  future 
2 days ago by terry
Good Things
Dave whistled through his teeth. “Holy shit! You guys already made it to 2nd base?! Hot damn, Jemaine, who’s the foxy lady?”

“Someone you don’t know,” Jemaine answered quickly, averting his gaze, “But I don’t want our friendship to end. Can you be both...friends? But also...you know...also...?”

“No fucking way, man. You choose one or the other, you can’t do both. You can’t have your cake and fuck it, too. Are you kidding me?”

2: https://ovestedinterest.livejournal.com/953.html
Flight-of-the-Conchords  Bret/Jemaine  author:ovestedinterest  episode:Prime-Minister  romance  emotional-hurt/comfort  angst-with-a-happy-ending  humour  Bret-POV  Jemaine-POV  minor-Jemaine/Karen  living-together  sharing-a-room  pining!Bret  masturbation  fantasies  crying  pining!Jemaine  mutual-pining  denial  hugs  cuddling  caresses  hand-holding  kissing  kisses  trope:That-Didn’t-Happen  realisation-of-feelings  avoidance  confrontations  confessions  intoxication  drunken-confessions  sexual-content  hair-pulling  dry-humping  handjobs  blowjobs  fic  site:LJ  word-count:1-5k     
4 days ago by SHSL_Fangirl
In Love With A Bad Idea
Bret is upset and Jemaine tries to figure out the best way to help him, which leads to some unexpected feelings...
Jemaine rolled over to face the wall, then finally allowed himself to really think about what had happened that day. He wracked his brain to figure out exactly what had possessed him to kiss Bret like he did. He tried to tell himself it was completely innocent, just a friendly gesture, a last ditch, pull-out-all-the-stops attempt to get Bret to calm down when nothing else was working - and it was in a way - but Jemaine was forced to admit that that couldn't have been the only reason behind the kiss. If it was, he probably would have forgotten all about it shortly afterward instead of expending all of his willpower in order to avoid spending the entire evening going over every single detail again and again in his mind. The coarseness of Bret's beard against his palms, the softness of Bret's lips against his, the salty taste of Bret's tears...

Why was this so hard to put out of his mind? And why did he want nothing more than to do it again?

:::::☆ ☆:::::

Jemaine had come to a decision today. He'd realized that under no circumstances could he live without Bret. That left him with only one option in the tell-Bret-or-don't-tell-Bret scenario he'd been endlessly playing out in his mind for weeks.

:::::☆ ☆:::::

"Sounds to me like trouble in paradise..." Dave suggested, sagely.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Bret asked.

"Oh come on, you know what I'm talking about," Dave said, an incredulous look on his face, "you Norwegian motherfuckers are so gay for each other it's not even funny. OK, well it is a little funny," Dave chuckled.

"What?" Bret said, surprised, "no...Jemaine and me...we're not like that."

"Whatever you say, dude," Dave said, tone of disbelief in his voice, "all I know is that the way Jemaine was acting when he came in here a few weeks ago? He only acts that way when you two are fighting or when you somehow manage to find yourself a girlfriend."
Flight-of-the-Conchords  Bret/Jemaine  author:Dytallix_B  romance  humour  emotional-hurt/comfort  hurt/comfort  angst-with-a-happy-ending  Jemaine-POV  Bret-POV  living-together  sharing-a-room  crying  hugs  kissing  cooking  experiments  pining  mutual-pining  pining!Jemaine  pining!Bret  wet-dreams  realisation-of-feelings  observation  sexual-content  masturbation  hurt!Jemaine  cuts  blood  hand-holding  avoidance  nightmares  confrontations  arguments  reconciliation  dry-humping  cuddling  literally-sleeping-together  blowjobs  anal-fingering  misunderstandings  confessions  caresses  fic  site:AO3  word-count:10-20k     
5 days ago by SHSL_Fangirl
Talking crow asks people passing by on street ‘Y’alright love?’ in a strong Yorkshire accent
While out with their family on a sightseeing trip to Knaresborough Castle in North Yorkshire, UK, Lisa and Mark Brooks were surprised to come across a talking crow who asked several times “Y’alright love?” in a strong Yorkshire accent.
birds  video  humour  knaresborough 
5 days ago by terry
Acceptance
Based very loosely on a set of four acceptance speeches for awards won at the New Zealand Music Awards: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7zXwRWcn0M. When Bret breaks his bed doing an epic rock ‘n’ roll move it sets off a chain of events that lead to unexpected desire, confusion, heartache and, finally … acceptance.
His expression was heartbreaking, because Jemaine understood it completely. It said, ‘touch me, but please don’t make me ask for it. Please don’t make me talk about it.’

:::::☆ ☆:::::

As he slowly became aware of his surroundings again, he heard Jemaine whisper, ‘Bret, I love you’.

Oh. Holy. Shit.
 
‘No you don’t,’ said Bret, numbly. Jemaine opened his mouth as though to speak and then closed it again, confused. That wasn’t the answer he’d been expecting. Not that he’d been expecting anything in particular. He’d said it without thinking, surprising himself as much as Bret. Still, he hadn’t expected to be contradicted. ‘Um...I think I do,’ he said.

‘No,’ said Bret more fiercely, ‘You /don’t/.’

‘...Why?’ asked Jemaine, stupidly. He had the ominous feeling that this was going to be a truly horrible conversation.

‘Because you don’t, OK? You can’t. It’s one thing...fooling around...but this...you just can’t. This is messed up enough already.’

Bret’s eyes were stinging. He wiped the back of his clean hand over them and turned from Jemaine, angry and sad and hating all of this. He was sure he was doing the right thing. They had already probably ruined their friendship by introducing sex into it. To pile confessions of love onto the heap was some kind of suicide. Better to call the whole stupid affair off and try to get back some of what they had before. God, he missed his best friend. And yet, deep down, he realised that he too wanted something more. He wanted to hold Jemaine forever. He wanted Jemaine to be his, /his/, no one else’s. But that was a fantasy and he was in over his head and drowning and the only possible lifeline was to say...

‘This has to end here, Jemaine.’

‘No,’ said Jemaine.

‘It has to. Don’t kiss me again. Don’t touch me again. Ever.’

‘Do you...should I...move out?’ – Jemaine blinked and heavy tears rolled down his cheeks. Bret couldn’t bear it.

‘No. No. Stay. I want us to be friends again.’

‘But...you’ve broken my heart.’

Bret stared at Jemaine, pale and drained. This was, without question, the worst thing he had ever done in his life. He felt like he’d been given a beautiful, perfect flower and torn it apart. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said, his voice cracked with tears. ‘We can...we /will/ get over it. We will.’

:::::☆ ☆:::::

Jemaine reached down and dragged Bret up by the front of his shirt. Before Bret could struggle or protest, he found himself shoved roughly against the filing cabinet, the metal cold through his shirt and contrasting deliriously with the heat of Jemaine holding him there. Jemaine’s thigh was between his legs, pressing against his crotch, and Jemaine had one hand around his wrist and another wound tightly in his hair. Jemaine’s breath was hot against his neck. Bret was caught helplessly between arousal and fear. Jemaine had been assertive before, but never like this. It wasn’t like him.

‘Is this what you want?’ growled Jemaine into Bret’s ear. ‘This is what you asked for, isn’t it? This is what you’ve been asking for every time you turned me on when you /knew/ I wouldn’t do anything about it because I love you. And well done. Congratulations. I’ve been tempted. I’ve been tempted every time. You’d like me to give in now, wouldn’t you? Damn bastard cocktease. I can tell you’re dying for it. I should fuck you right here against the filing cabinet. But you know how it would end up? Exactly how it ended up before. Don’t you get it? I love you. I’m in love with you and every time you deliberately make me want you it tears me apart a little more. So if you don’t love me, stop leading me on, fuck off and let me type my fucking email in peace. Please.’

Bret’s eyes grew wide for a second, as though something had suddenly become clear to him.

‘No,’ he said.
Flight-of-the-Conchords  Bret/Jemaine  author:asylumsatellite  romance  humour  angst-with-a-happy-ending  Jemaine-POV  Bret-POV  living-together  sharing-a-room  storms  literally-sleeping-together  sexual-content  wet-dreams  observation  denial  experiments  dub-con  somnophilia  handjobs  trope:That-Didn’t-Happen  avoidance  caresses  neck-play  kisses  crying  pining  mutual-pining  pining!Jemaine  pining!Bret  fantasies  masturbation  mutual-masturbation  dirty-talk  parties/celebrations  games  kissing  biting  blowjobs  frottage  love-confessions  rejection  flirting  confrontations  realisation-of-feelings  hand-holding  PDA  fic  site:Your-Beard-Is-Good  word-count:5-10k     
6 days ago by SHSL_Fangirl
Anton Troynikov on Twitter: "Things that happen in Silicon Valley and also the Soviet Union: - waiting years to receive a car you ordered, to find that it's of poor workmanship and quality - promises of colonizing the solar system while you toil in drudge
Things that happen in Silicon Valley and also the Soviet Union:

- waiting years to receive a car you ordered, to find that it's of poor workmanship and quality

- promises of colonizing the solar system while you toil in drudgery day in, day out


Twitter thread
humour  politics  history  twitter 
7 days ago by micktwomey
Unreel Entertainment GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY
GIF funny, fail, car, humor, 2018, cars, humour, broken, africa, south africa, need, south, viralhog, tow Giphy https://ift.tt/2KAmN5L ______ http://goo.gl/3oHDPV
funny  fail  car  humor  2018  cars  humour  broken  africa  south  need  viralhog  tow  wynajem  samochody  auta 
9 days ago by architektura

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