Wherein, Having Beaten A Game, All Players Are Taken Back To The Same, Worst Available Universe, With Species Changes To Match For Those Who Did Not Match Beforehand.

In short: You're all trolls now, welcome to Alternia.

So, yeah. This is longer than 500 words. I started writing and immediately got sucked into (super basic) world-building and (minimal) scene-setting, which is exactly what this exercise is supposed to prevent. When I realized what I was doing I said well shit and skipped straight to the porn, which, unsurprisingly, also didn’t limit itself to 500 words. And then that little scene-setting bit was up there just looking accusingly at me, so I finished it off to some extent, and that’s what you have here: a little chunk of set-up and a little chunk of smut, extremely sloppily stuck together.

Maybe I’ll make this less sloppy some day. It was terrific fun to write.

This is a post-Sburb universe reset where the game made a little mistake and accidentally swapped the players’ species on the way out. Whoopsies! There’s possibly some body-dysphoria business going on if you’re sensitive to that, but nothing too extreme.

“You brought me into the territory of an adult? Are you fucking pan-rotted?” You’d be screaming if it wouldn’t be a surefire way of alerting the killer down the hallway of your presence. Oh god, what have you touched in this hive? Where have you left your scent? Adults have heightened senses, don’t they? You’ll be found in an instant. You jolt sharply when Dave makes some derisive noise at you. You can practically feel him rolling his eyes, you’re so on edge right now.

Comics for Ladyfest Echange assignment, explores relationship and power balance between purpleblood Rose and human Kanaya.

So, seadweller!Bro sees lowblood!Dave and it's pity at first sight. Maybe he's using weird seadweller rituals or maybe he's just being his strange self to court Dave. Unfortunately, Dave has no idea why this finface is constantly in his business. Show me how they become moirails, please. ♦

You push yourself up to a sitting position. "Bro," you say. "Long time no see." You manage to keep your voice almost totally steady, even.

He's sitting cross-legged in the sand, his elbows on his knees, his katana planted point-down next to him. His horns echo the shape of his shades, jagged outward-facing points. You wonder what yours look like, but you think you'd lose points for reaching up to cop a feel of your own headgear.

"Come on. We don't exactly have the high ground out here."

Unexplained, unapologetic species-swap PWPs.

First two are mainly porn, last two will be mainly feelings.

Dave and Karkat have a little fight over who pushed the buttons that swapped their species, and it turns into extensive scientific experimentation of a different kind altogether.

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] has joined memo CALLING ALL JACKASSES --

CG: THANK LITTLE JEGUS AND ALL HIS WIGGLER-EATING ELVES. WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING STATUS.
CA: oh great and wwhich human evven is that again
TT: Oh, please. We both know perfectly how well you remember me, Mr. Ampora.
TT: My status is, if you will permit the bad joke, wet and horny.
CG: MY GANDERBULBS JUST IMPLODED FROM GROSS BY PROXY. WHAT THE CROTCHBLISTERING *FUCK*, LALONDE?
TT: As in, I have just emerged from what is either a recuperacoon or a fairly good mock-up, and there are protrusions attached to my skull that I am inclined to believe would be candy-corn-colored.
CG: ... OH. YEAH, VERY AMUSING. I AM VERY AMUSED. HERE IS A PICTOGRAPHIC REPRESENTATION OF MY MIRTH. |:B

Sollux Captor has just relocated to Houston for a dead-end job and all he wants is to drink and wallow in his thirty years of shitty luck. Instead, he gets tag-teamed by a pair of blond twins who really, really want to take him home.

"You've got no fucking clue which end is up about this kind of thing, do you?" Karkat asks, almost gently. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gone off on you. You're such a huge bitch it's easy to forget you weren't hatched like this."

Wherein the four beta!kids are and always were trolls on Alternia, Sgrub/Sburb does not exist, and Troll Jade Harley is on a quest to keep her friend Aradia from dying. Things will almost certainly get more complicated, but that's a good place to start.

When Rose opens the door, she at first thinks Jade's joined the Circus, her face and arms and legs covered in a dozen different colors; then she drags her eyes up to Jade's horns, dipped in dark blue to the hilt, and realizes none of this is paint. Her third thought is that her first thought might still be right.

prompt runs: Bad End AU where all the trolls and kids are together on the asteroid behind the Veil.

So the facility they have there has tons of weird machines and stuff. John and Karkat for some reason are exploring some parts no one's been in yet and through. Cue some tripping/curious button pressing whatever, so long as john someone gets zapped by some sort of crazy dna altering device and whoa! Suddenly troll!John.

And Karkat has to help him deal with the new changes (Horn sensitivity and troll anatomy being fairly different from human anatomy) , even though it he bitches about it the ENTIRE time. There are sexy results at some point.

Bonus - He ends up with a fairly high ranking blood type which reaaally pisses Karkat off.

Title: And Only One Blanket
Summary: The building they come to falls somewhere on the shed-shack-cabin-cottage continuum; the threat of frostbite makes Rose disinclined to be picky.

Title: Going Both Ways
Summary: Karkat can match him at either end of his scale, balancing both highs and lows with this kind of frothing, incoherent fury that's...kind of attractive, in the right light. All that energy. All that drive.

Title: King of Spades
Summary: ==> Dirk: fuck the Man.

Trollstuck -- Dave, John, Karkat and Sollux share a hive post-SBURB/SGRUB. Dave isn't used to his new Troll body yet, but then becomes a little too used to it. Everyone notices, and everyone wants a piece.

This isn't a thing Equius does; surrendering to impulses is for other people. He has always been one to measure, to strategize, to rein himself in as best he can. It was a necessity. Even his liaisons to satisfy the drones were more matters of negotiation and restraint than unbridled passion, adequate but not exceptional.

But as Strider follows him out of the hangar and down the corridor, it's all Equius can do not to turn on him, not to attack him right there, not to pin him to the wall with hands around his throat and knee between his thighs.

"You've got no fucking clue which end is up about this kind of thing, do you?" Karkat asks, almost gently. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gone off on you. You're such a huge bitch it's easy to forget you weren't hatched like this."

John and Dave end up as trolls, and John finds himself with a pale crush on Dave.

The game ends and they expect to wake up back in 2011, the troll occupation a thing that never happened. Instead it's 2424 and there's not a single human still alive on Earth. Including them.