dating   14956

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#551: What does it mean when a dating partner is “worried that they might be using me?” | Captain Awkward
this was absolutely true for me:

When I drew a bright line about such things (Separated = still married. Getting a divorce soon = still married. “It’s complicated” = too complicated for me, kind sir!)…
When I decided that after sex, I did not want to listen to or help my partner process his feelings about some chick who was not me….
When I decided, that in the middle of my workday, I did not want to email back and forth with some dude about the latest thing his ex was doing to his fragile psyche now….
When I decided, in fact, that such conversation was the most BORING and IRRITATING topic in the world….
…My life, my self-esteem, and my confidence and security within my relationships got approximately 10,000 times better.
dating  adulting 
2 days ago by elison
#573, #574, #575 and #576: Applying the Sheelzebub Principle | Captain Awkward
You’re all asking “Is it even okay to want what I want?”

Whoever injected our collective brain with the idea that love is something we earn by making ourselves want only smaller, appropriate, manageable things needs to come here and fight me, with fists. Because I want EVERYTHING. I want love, I want great sex, I want great kissing, I want to be able to relax and laugh with my love
adulting  dating 
3 days ago by elison
Ramit Sethi on Twitter: "Ideas that completely changed my worldview: - Tracking calories. You can change the way your body looks - There's a limit to cutting back,…"
Ideas that completely changed my worldview:

- Tracking calories. You can change the way your body looks
- There's a limit to cutting back, but no limit to how much you can you can earn
- If you want better results in dating, become a better man/woman
dating  life-advice  money  relationships-romantic  personal-finance 
4 days ago by lwhlihu
Dating | Captain Awkward
f the message was thoughtful and the person seemed basically cool, I answered the way I would want to be answered: “Thank you for the thoughtful message. I don’t think you and I would be a good match, but I hope you meet someone great.”
dating  adulting 
4 days ago by elison
Own, Apologize, Repair: Coming Back to Integrity | Dating Tips for the Feminist Man
About a common, inappropriate but understandable reaction men (or white people) have to being confronted about harm they have done to another person. In their discomfort, they lash out and expect others to apologize/do emotional labor to assuage the discomfort they are feeling from being confronted.
feminism  relationships  masculinity  dating  rape  BED  race 
4 days ago by atelathehun
OkCupid vs : AskMen
4 points (100% like it) 4 upvotes 0 downvotes shortlink: Submit a new text post AskMen subscribeunsubscribe118,208 readers 456 users here now created by taylornator7a community for 3 years message the moderators 1 OkCupid vs (self. via Pocket
IFTTTPocket  dating  ifttt_pinboard 
6 days ago by jbattams
RT : Have a or question? Our Just the Tip has answers! DM or JusttheQuestions
column  sex  dating  from twitter
7 days ago by LibrariesVal
SerPuissance comments on Men who followed the reddit advice to be attractive (lose weight, dress properly, hit the gym etc) and still single/lonely, what happened?
Eeeee I'd be wary about that. There is usually a huge difference between what many women say they want, what they believe that they should want and what they actually respond to. I know a handful of women who honestly know what they respond to and have cut through all the BS of what society tells them they should want, and them I can trust - but the others are going to give you mostly useless platitudes.

EDIT: I figure a bit of clarification couldn't hurt. So most women would say "you're so nice, I don't understand why women aren't into you." The women I can trust would say "you're very decent and kind, but you don't stand up for yourself and you let people make decisions for you and it makes you look weak. If you were more assertive and capable of negotiating, I think you'd be more attractive."
dating  relationships-romantic  dating-women 
9 days ago by lwhlihu

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