"With a couple of hitmen after him, what's a guy to do except hit on his (very hot, mucho mysterious) bodyguard?"

In which Cougar and Jensen are telepathic and there is a very irritated mad scientist.

It’s kind of understandable that’s he’s what one might call shocked when Cougar, instead of half-listening quietly like he always does, gently places his reassembled rifle down on his bunk and leans forward to press a strangely chaste kiss to Jensen’s still-talking mouth. Then Cougs stands up, towering over Jensen for a moment, and storms out, slamming the door behind him and leaving Jensen sitting with his mouth agape and swallowing flies.

You’re a fucking moron, and I’m disowning you, Jensen’s sister IM’s him when he tells her what happened and maybe – maybe – begs for her advice…and then she logs off and disappears.

In which The Losers are all slightly supernatural.

Part 2: https://entropynchaos.livejournal.com/62537.html?format=light

Part 3: https://entropynchaos.livejournal.com/63537.html?format=light

Explosions, broken toes, and blood transfusions, or, the long and mostly-incompetent courtship of Cougar by Jensen.

"I'm sorry," says Jensen, for what feels like the thousandth time. Beside him, Clay sighs and shifts his weight on the chair.

"Jensen," he says, "if the worst thing that I have to do this week is hold your hand, then it's a very good week." Clay twines his fingers tighter with Jensen's, and squeezes hard. "Besides," he adds, "You still type faster one-handed than I can with both."

Jensen's known he's bi for most of his life, but it's never really been the most important factor in whatever he's doing. It's never been worth jeopardising the life he's been building for himself, so it's not something he's planning on telling the rest of the team. And then DADT gets repealed, and it's something Jensen starts thinking about again.

----

Nearly a year and a half after the port of L.A., Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell gets repealed.

In the grand scheme of things, it shouldn’t even make that much of a difference. It’s hardly the biggest change that’s happened recently. They’ve been killed and betrayed and bounced back, more determined than ever. So like, some draconian law finally getting repealed which, technically speaking, doesn’t even apply to him anymore, because the military thinks he’s dead, shouldn’t make any kind of difference. And yet.

Jensen calls his less-than-human form Cat. It’s not very creative, but Jensen doesn’t have another name for him that doesn’t involve multiple swear words in three languages. Besides, Cat is shorter. Cat is the reason that most people think Jensen’s moderately unbalanced. Cat requires distraction techniques and excuses. Cat requires a verbal twenty-four-seven variety act because if people think you’ve just been skipping your ADHD meds, they don’t think things like, huh, maybe he actually * is* a bona-fide freak of nature, and maybe he turns into a house pet according to lunar cycles. Which should be completely stupid, but Jensen’s lived his whole life in crowded foster homes, army barracks, in Iraq where you couldn’t take a shit without the whole platoon knowing, and now with a special Ops team who’ve been trained to notice a mosquito die in, like, the next building. And no one’s worked it out yet.

Jensen and Cougar carry Roque out of Afghanistan. Jensen is not doing super great.

So the thing is he got hurt again and yeah it was something stupid, something really fucking moronic but it wasn’t his fault really, well not his fault in the way that he didn’t see the damn elephant coming because Pooch was too busy laughing over some boob joke that Clay made and he was too busy laughing because Pooch was laughing way too damn hard about it when it was really a kind of stupid ass joke.

The point was that he didn’t see the damn tank of an animal coming right towards him until it was right there and really considering he could have gotten trampled to god damned death he figured jumping over the only moderately high cliff into the hair from too shallow but still deep enough water below to be a plus, not a negative.

The only problem with his thinking was that Cougar didn’t share his opinion on the matter, nope, not at all. Cougar was pissed and for a government bred Spanish Sniper god that pretty much meant he was screwed.

"When I bury you," Cougar says - quietly, because when Coug raises his voice Hell will freeze over - "it better be because someone was better than us. Not because you were an idiot and left your fucking gun in the van."

“I’m so glad we found you!” Jensen cried. “This is amazing! This is great! Look how not eaten by dinosaurs you are, Lex’s Kid Brother Timmy. I know you are somewhat experienced at not being eaten by dinosaurs, but I gotta say, man, we were a little worried there for a minute, ha ha ha. Which hey, reminds me of a really good question I thought of while we were running from giant teeth through the jungle!”

Jensen tucked his gun under his arm to more efficiently mime dinosaur jaws with his hands.

“Uh,” said Tim. “Is it - is it why am I on an island full of dinosaurs?”

How Jake Jensen fell in with the Losers.

No longer on AO3, but I found all of the parts on Wayback Machine:
1 - https://web.archive.org/web/20120214193527/http://archiveofourown.org:80/works/332652
2 - https://web.archive.org/web/20130925033941/http://archiveofourown.org/works/318050?view_full_work=true
3 - https://web.archive.org/web/20121006004606/http://archiveofourown.org:80/works/527033?view_adult=true

How Jake Jensen fell in with the Losers.

No longer on AO3, but I found all of the parts on Wayback Machine:
1 - https://web.archive.org/web/20120214193527/http://archiveofourown.org:80/works/332652
2 - https://web.archive.org/web/20130925033941/http://archiveofourown.org/works/318050?view_full_work=true
3 - https://web.archive.org/web/20121006004606/http://archiveofourown.org:80/works/527033?view_adult=true

“Okay, no,” Pooch says, holding up his hands, “there is no way I’m gambling for money against you and Cougar.”

Jensen frowns, leaning across the table to make wide, concerned eyes at Pooch. “Is it because we’re just that fucking good?” he asks.

“No.” Pooch knocks the edge of the pack once, twice against the table. “It’s because I’m pretty sure you can read each other’s damn minds.”

“Okay, no,” Pooch says, holding up his hands, “there is no way I’m gambling for money against you and Cougar.” Jensen frowns, leaning across the table to make wide, concerned eyes at Pooch. “Is it because we’re just that fucking good?” he asks. “No.” Pooch knocks the edge of the pack once, twice against the table. “It’s because I’m pretty sure you can read each other’s damn minds.”

"Losers, meet Para liason Summers.

(Or how Buffy became a Loser and stayed one forever and ever.)"

[In which Jensen has to play gay for a job and Cougar Does Not Like It.]

His back hit the wall and the ice cream hat went tumbling. Cougar pinned him at arm's length with a hand against his shoulder and gritted, "What are you playing at?"

Jensen gulped. "Not playing." But Cougar wasn't stopping to listen. His fending grip on Jensen's shoulder softened and he stepped in, closer, seriously in Jensen's personal space bubble, until Jensen could swear he could feel the heat of him all up and down his body. He held Jensen's eyes with the intensity of his gaze until he was blurry through the lenses. His voice dropped lower still, into a quiet growl that raised the hair on Jensen's neck: "Am I made of stone?"

Cougar's knee brushed Jensen's, and Jensen abandoned pretense and let his head fall back against the wall and closed his eyes. "Oh, god, Cougar, please."

[Stealth vacation on the Really Really Ridiculously Gay Island.]

"You won't bleed to death," Cougar said.

"People always say that," Jensen said. "But now's really not a good time. We have a lot of ground still to cover - like, I think we should go on a real date, because -" and then Jensen had a stunning realization. "Oh God, we did date, didn't we? You took me on a fucking stealth date! You wooed me with Star Trek!"

"Yes," Cougar said. "This will hurt."