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Opinion | The Wisdom Your Body Knows - The New York Times
By David Brooks
Opinion Columnist

Nov. 28, 2019

**
** “How Emotions Are Made” by Lisa Feldman Barrett.
This has been a golden age for brain research.....we mistakenly believe that thinking happens only from the neck up.......scientists are now focusing on the thinking that happens not in your brain but in your gut. You have neurons spread through your innards, and there’s increasing attention on the vagus nerve, which emerges from the brain stem and wanders across the heart, lungs, kidney and gut. The vagus nerve is one of the pathways through which the body and brain talk to each other in an unconscious conversation. Much of this conversation is about how we are relating to others. Human thinking is not primarily about individual calculation, but about social engagement and cooperation.....When you enter a new situation, Porges argues, your body reacts. Your heart rate may go up. Your blood pressure may change. Signals go up to the brain, which records the “autonomic state” you are in....

a main purpose of the brain is to read the body, and to regulate "the body budget". Spotting a bully on the playground may cause one's brain to predict actions, speeds heart rates and breathing to deal with it. We experience these changes as emotion — e.g. fear, anger, etc. — because our brain has created an emotion concept [JCK - a lexicon??] to make those physical changes meaningful.

“You might think that in everyday life, the things you see and hear influence what you feel, but it’s mostly the other way around: What you feel alters your sight and hearing,”....... Under the old brain-only paradigm, we told people to self-regulate their emotions through conscious self-talk. But real emotional help comes through co-regulation. When a mother and a child physically hold each other, their bodily autonomic states harmonize, connecting on a metabolic level. Together they move from separate distress to mutual calm........the Welch Emotional Connection Screen, which measures the emotional connection between mothers and pre-term babies. ....When we step back and see the brain and body thinking together, the old distinction between reason and emotion doesn’t seem to make sense. Our perception of the world is shaped by the predictions our brains make about our physical autonomic states. It is vital to teach emotional granularity, something our culture pays almost no attention to. We’re not separate brains, coolly observing each other. We’re physical viscera, deeply interacting with each other. The important communication is happening at a much deeper level.
  biology   Communicating_&_Connecting  David_Books  digestive_systems  emotional_connections  emotions  gastrointestinal  guts  human_anatomy  human_behavior  human_brains  logic_&_reasoning  op-ed  physical_touch  physiological_response   psychology  stress_response   thinking  wisdom 
8 days ago by jerryking
These six harmful things will prevent your success - The Globe and Mail
ROY OSING
SPECIAL TO THE GLOBE AND MAIL
PUBLISHED 18 HOURS AGO

(1) NOT ENOUGH CONTACTS
(2) TOO MUCH RELIANCE ON EDUCATION
(3) COPYING OTHERS
(4) THE WRONG KIND OF MENTOR
(5) NOT STAYING ON THE LEARNING PATH
(6) RELIANCE ON WHAT WORKED YESTERDAY
career_ending_moves  Communicating_&_Connecting  differentiation  Managing_Your_Career  networks  torchbearers  weak_links  copycats  missteps  personal_connections  Roy_Osing 
12 days ago by jerryking
Can contracts use pictures instead of words? | Financial Times
Bruce Love OCTOBER 22 2019

* David Sibbet in "Visual Meeting"
* Dan Roam in "Blah Blah Blah: What To Do When Words Don’t Work" 
Both writers advocate the use of graphics and charts to better communicate ideas between people.

Visuals and plain language make an adversarial process more constructive.

Every contract the company writes represents a business relationship that a company would prefer to see fulfilled mutually.....unwieldy contracts stand in the way of harmony.....you spend  so much time building customer relationships that you don’t want a contractual negotiation to then dismantle that relationship brick by brick.....redraft contracts using as much plain English as possible......Making contracts more faithful to the relationships they represent is a popular goal with commercial contracts.....businesses should write contracts that specify mutual goals and governance structures to keep the parties’ expectations and interests aligned over the long term........especially for “highly complex relationships in which it is impossible to predict every ‘what if ’ scenario”.....a curious innovation gathering steam in the legal world: visual contracts that incorporate images alongside or even replace text. The underlying idea is that a picture paints a thousand words.....visual contracts can be used for simple and complex agreements.....there are growing libraries of contract terms that can be assembled as modules to build complete agreements. The goal is to provide businesses with best practice examples of the most frequent and least divergent contract clauses.....While there are many benefits to visual contracts, “simple is difficult”..... It is counterproductive for negotiators to codify every minute detail of a relationship when instead much can be ascribed to a spirit of agreement, more similar to a constitution or code of ethics.
books  charts  Communicating_&_Connecting  contingencies  contracts  deal-making  graphics  infographics  legal  negotiations  plain_English  visualization 
4 weeks ago by jerryking
The Man With the $13 Billion Checkbook
July 12, 2019 | The New York Times | By John Leland [John Leland, a Metro reporter, joined The Times in 2000. His most recent book is “Happiness Is a Choice You Make: Lessons From a Year Among the Oldest Old,” based on a Times series. @johnleland]

In the neglected Harlem of the late 1990s, one dynamic player was the Abyssinian Development Corporation, a nonprofit offshoot of the powerful Abyssinian Baptist Church. Harlem then was littered with abandoned buildings that had been repossessed by the city. The development corporation, led by the Rev. Dr. Calvin O. Butts III, leveraged city and private money to restore these shells, then used the profits to acquire and rehab more buildings. Mr. Walker became the organization’s chief operating officer, working out of a basement office to help bring a Pathmark supermarket to 125th Street, the anchor for what would become a thriving commercial corridor in a neighborhood that had been given up for dead.

“Working for Calvin Butts, you saw the power of the black church, the shrewd political instincts of a power player, and the dynamic at the intersection of race, power, geography and culture,” Mr. Walker said. “It gave me tremendous insight into how power at that intersection plays out, and who benefits and who doesn’t benefit.”

Mr. Walker’s time at Abyssinian also taught him what it was like to rely on foundation grants, begging the mighty patron for favors. When he left to join the Rockefeller Foundation and then Ford — and as Abyssinian boomed and busted in a new Harlem — he vowed to change this relationship.
African-Americans  capitalism  Communicating_&_Connecting  contradictions  cultural_institutions  Darren_Walker  Ford_Foundation  Harlem  inequality  museums  patronage  power_brokers  New_York_City  personal_connections  political_power  relationships  tokenism 
july 2019 by jerryking
How to wing it when you need to make a speech
June 23, 2019 | Financial Times | Pilita Clark.

Mr Vine one night witnessed the wang-like magnificence of Mr Johnson, who hurtled in hopelessly late to a bankers’ awards ceremony at a fancy London hotel, only to learn he was due on stage in minutes to give the after-dinner speech.

As stressed organisers looked on, the MP frantically ascertained what the awards were for, demanded a biro, scribbled some notes on the back of a menu and, to Mr Vine’s astonishment, delivered a paralysingly funny speech — despite having left his scrawled notes on the table.

First he told a story about a sheep, then another about a shark and a third about a drunk, to which he completely forgot the punchline. He ended by observing that a glass trophy Mr Vine was there to hand out looked like “a sort of elongated lozenge”. The crowd was in fits.....Mr Johnson’s performance was also a masterclass in three great truths of public speaking, starting with a lesson that is obvious yet too often overlooked: don’t be afraid to be funny. Not every speech needs to be crammed with gags and not every speaker can deliver one as deftly as Mr Johnson. But most talks are immeasurably improved by at least one attempt at a well-chosen joke, and preferably two.

Mr Johnson also deployed what is known as the rule of three. Too many speeches are littered with a torrent of information that makes them hard to deliver and digest. The best are often broken up into just three points, or at least have a beginning, a middle and an end. A sheep, a shark and a drunk will not suit every occasion, but the principle still applies.

Finally, and most importantly, there is the need for preparation. Mr Johnson’s contrived bluster concealed a man who was fantastically well prepared. The best speakers usually are. For most of us, the only way to look as if you are winging it is to practice so ferociously that you eventually sound spontaneous.

As the speaker guide for the ubiquitous TED talks puts it: “Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse!”
Boris_Johnson  Communicating_&_Connecting  howto  humour  preparation  public_speaking  speeches  TED  think_threes  Toastmasters 
june 2019 by jerryking
How 5 Data Dynamos Do Their Jobs
June 12, 2019 | The New York Times | By Lindsey Rogers Cook.
[Times Insider explains who we are and what we do, and delivers behind-the-scenes insights into how our journalism comes together.]
Reporters from across the newsroom describe the many ways in which they increasingly rely on datasets and spreadsheets to create groundbreaking work.

Data journalism is not new. It predates our biggest investigations of the last few decades. It predates computers. Indeed, reporters have used data to hold power to account for centuries, as a data-driven investigation that uncovered overspending by politicians, including then-congressman Abraham Lincoln, attests.

But the vast amount of data available now is new. The federal government’s data repository contains nearly 250,000 public datasets. New York City’s data portal contains more than 2,500. Millions more are collected by companies, tracked by think tanks and academics, and obtained by reporters through Freedom of Information Act requests (though not always without a battle). No matter where they come from, these datasets are largely more organized than ever before and more easily analyzed by our reporters.

(1) Karen Zraick, Express reporter.
NYC's Buildings Department said it was merely responding to a sudden spike in 311 complaints about store signs. But who complains about store signs?....it was hard to get a sense of the scale of the problem just by collecting anecdotes. So I turned to NYC Open Data, a vast trove of information that includes records about 311 complaints. By sorting and calculating the data, we learned that many of the calls were targeting stores in just a few Brooklyn neighborhoods.
(2) John Ismay, At War reporter
He has multiple spreadsheets for almost every article he works on......Spreadsheets helped him organize all the characters involved and the timeline of what happened as the situation went out of control 50 years ago......saves all the relevant location data he later used in Google Earth to analyze the terrain, which allowed him to ask more informed questions.
(3) Eliza Shapiro, education reporter for Metro
After she found out in March that only seven black students won seats at Stuyvesant, New York City’s most elite public high school, she kept coming back to one big question: How did this happen? I had a vague sense that the city’s so-called specialized schools once looked more like the rest of the city school system, which is mostly black and Hispanic.

With my colleague K.K. Rebecca Lai from The Times’s graphics department, I started to dig into a huge spreadsheet that listed the racial breakdown of each of the specialized schools dating to the mid-1970s.
analyzed changes in the city’s immigration patterns to better understand why some immigrant groups were overrepresented at the schools and others were underrepresented. We mapped out where the city’s accelerated academic programs are, and found that mostly black and Hispanic neighborhoods have lost them. And we tracked the rise of the local test preparation industry, which has exploded in part to meet the demand of parents eager to prepare their children for the specialized schools’ entrance exam.

To put a human face to the data points we gathered, I collected yearbooks from black and Hispanic alumni and spent hours on the phone with them, listening to their recollections of the schools in the 1970s through the 1990s. The final result was a data-driven article that combined Rebecca’s remarkable graphics, yearbook photos, and alumni reflections.

(4) Reed Abelson, Health and Science reporter
the most compelling stories take powerful anecdotes about patients and pair them with eye-opening data.....Being comfortable with data and spreadsheets allows me to ask better questions about researchers’ studies. Spreadsheets also provide a way of organizing sources, articles and research, as well as creating a timeline of events. By putting information in a spreadsheet, you can quickly access it, and share it with other reporters.

(5) Maggie Astor, Politics reporter
a political reporter dealing with more than 20 presidential candidates, she uses spreadsheets to track polling, fund-raising, policy positions and so much more. Without them, there’s just no way she could stay on top of such a huge field......The climate reporter Lisa Friedman and she used another spreadsheet to track the candidates’ positions on several climate policies.
311  5_W’s  behind-the-scenes  Communicating_&_Connecting  data  datasets  data_journalism  data_scientists  FOIA  groundbreaking  hidden  information_overload  information_sources  journalism  mapping  massive_data_sets  New_York_City  NYT  open_data  organizing_data  reporters  self-organization  systematic_approaches  spreadsheets  storytelling  timelines  tools 
june 2019 by jerryking
Don’t Waste Your Time on Networking Events
SEPTEMBER 26, 2016 | HBR | Derek Coburn.

My definition of “networking” is any activity that increases the value of your network or the value you contribute to it. The best way to do this is to avoid traditional networking events almost entirely. There are more efficient and effective ways to spend your time. Here are three of my favorite strategies:

Hosting Your Own Events
Hosting your own get-togethers gives you almost complete control over the attendees, the setting, and the outcome. It’s a great way to add value for existing clients and connections, and can also be an opportunity to meet and develop relationships with prospective clients.

Most professionals struggle to find the right balance when allocating their time between client services and business development. But when done properly, you can accomplish both by hosting a great client appreciation event.

The primary goal when planning an event should be to choose an activity your existing clients will enjoy. If you and your best clients share similar passions, start there. Do any of them play poker, or enjoy attending musicals or sporting events? My favorite events to host are wine tastings.
business_development  Communicating_&_Connecting  HBR  motivations  overrated  relationships  weak_links  networking 
may 2019 by jerryking
Why You Need a Network of Low-Stakes, Casual Friendships
May 6, 2019 | The New York Times | By Allie Volpe.

The sociologist Mark Granovetter calls these low-stakes relationships “weak ties.” Not only can these connections affect our job prospects, they also can have a positive impact on our well-being by helping us feel more connected to other social groups, according to Dr. Granovetter’s research. Other studies have shown weak ties can offer recommendations (I found my accountant via a weak tie) and empower us to be more empathetic. We’re likely to feel less lonely, too, research shows.

A 2014 study found that the more weak ties a person has (neighbors, a barista at the neighborhood coffee shop or fellow members in a spin class), the happier they feel. Maintaining this network of acquaintances also contributes to one’s sense of belonging to a community, researchers found......maintaining a network of low-stakes connections further enmeshes us in our community, especially after a major move away from family and close friends or the loss of a loved one.
Communicating_&_Connecting  friendships  happiness  low-stakes  networking  personal_connections  personal_relationships  relationships  sense-of-belonging  social_fabric  weak_links 
may 2019 by jerryking
The Art of Statistics by David Spiegelhalter
May 6, 2019 | Financial Times | Review by Alan Smith.

The Art of Statistics, by Sir David Spiegelhalter, former president of the UK’s Royal Statistical Society and current Winton professor of the public understanding of risk at the University of Cambridge.

The comparison with Rosling is easy to make, not least because Spiegelhalter is humorously critical of his own field which, by his reckoning, has spent too much time arguing with itself over “the mechanical application of a bag of statistical tools, many named after eccentric and argumentative statisticians”.

His latest book, its title,
books  book_reviews  charts  Communicating_&_Connecting  data  data_journalism  data_scientists  Hans_Rosling  listening  massive_data_sets  mathematics  statistics  visualization 
may 2019 by jerryking
Be a Potentiator - Mike Lipkin
April 25, 2019 | @ #CAIF2019 | Presentation and speech By Mike Lipkin.

1. Be Self-Savvy: Define your principles. Discern your impact. Play your role. Know what drives you. Know how you’re occurring to others. Know their expectations of you. Know thyself and thy relationship with others.
2. Develop Situational Sensibility: Get out there. Know the trends. Connect the dots. Context is decisive. Whoever understands their environment best wins. So expand your footprint. Study the data until it tells the truth. Anticipate the future by getting there first. Become your peers’ scout. Discover the new world for yourself and other will want to join you.
3. Make a Powerful Promise: Declare your purpose. Express your value proposition. Focus your execution. Know your personal mission. Know the unique benefit you give to others. Act accordingly. So my mission is to turn people into potentiators. My unique benefit is to excite people into remarkable action. I’m executing my promise through motivational messages like this one in any way I can. What are you doing?
4. Become Sublimely Skilled: Practice for real. Become the authority. Make it a pleasure. Whatever your level, be the best at that level. Learn from every experience. Communicate your knowledge with conviction. Light others up with your joie de vivre.
5. Build Robust Resilience: Interpret to win. Be prolific. Train like an athlete. We’re only as good as the stories that we tell ourselves. Make whatever happens meaningful. Do more things. Put the odds on your side. And train, train, train. Stamina is the rocket fuel of champions.
6. Grow Courageous Creativity: Unleash your imagination. Experiment like Edison. Talk, listen, learn. Dare to dream then declare your dream. Turn it into reality by trying something new. Fail fast until you fly high. Get in front of people and give them great conversation. Enrich their perspective while you expand yours.
7. Be Fanatically Faithworthy: Commit to your commitments. Come through in the crunch. Be the best you can be, every day. If you say it, do it. Make your word the one thing that others can always depend on. Become the go-to-person in a crisis. And, whatever happens, bring your A-Game every time. You can’t always be the best, but you can always be the best you can be that day.
8. Create Close Connections: Give First. Open yourself up. Become an insider. Generosity pays big dividends. Show what you can give them and others will show you the money. Get up, close and personal. Become integral to others’ wellbeing. If you build their trust, they will pay it forward all the way back to you.
9. Communicate Like a Champion: Say it like you mean it. Talk their language. Connect them to their purpose. How you say what you say is as important as what you say. Let your authenticity shine through but inject it with your passion. Be the reason why other people rediscover why they make a difference.
10. Cause Bold Breakthroughs: Own it. Celebrate the struggle. Finish like a professional. It’s not about the title. It’s about your skin in the game. It’s about taking on the responsibility for everyone else’s success, no matter what. You can’t always win, but you can always play to win. It’s meant to be hard. The pain is the price you pay to be a potentiator. Close strong and the force will be with you.
breakthroughs  CAIF  code_switching  commitments  Communicating_&_Connecting  connecting_the_dots  execution  inspiration  It's_up_to_me  Mike_Lipkin  motivations  purpose  self-awareness  self-knowledge  self-made  serving_others  situational_awareness  skin_in_the_game  torchbearers  value_propositions 
april 2019 by jerryking
Meet Amanda Cox, Who Brings Life to Data on Our Pages
Feb. 28, 2019 | The New York Times | By Jake Lucas

Ms. Cox was stepping into a new role: data editor. She will help coordinate data work across departments, in interactive news, computer-assisted reporting, graphics and The Upshot, and pave the way for journalism using data to play a bigger role throughout the newsroom. She will also act as an adviser when big questions arise about how to think about and use data thoughtfully, without overstating what it supports.
charts  Communicating_&_Connecting  data  data_journalism  infographics  NYT  quantitative  visualization 
march 2019 by jerryking
Inter Ikea’s Torbjorn Loof: making the vision clear
February 3, 2019 | Financial Times | Richard Milne.

Internal politics had supposedly never played much of a role in the tangled web of companies that makes up the world’s largest furniture retailer. But when Inter Ikea, little-known owner of the brand and concept, acquired the product range, design and manufacturing businesses in 2016 from its more famous sister company, Ikea Group, Torbjorn Loof was struck by the infighting.......The 53-year-old is running a franchise system that decides everything: from which products are on offer and what the stores look like, to the famous catalogues and flat-pack design. But rather than use his new-found power and influence, Mr Loof took a different approach..........Mr Loof is now engineering the biggest transformation Ikea has undertaken by changing its famed business model that has brought it so much success. Having giant out-of-town warehouses, where shoppers pick their own furniture and then build it at home, underpinned Ikea’s solid profitability for seven decades.

But now it is looking increasingly at city-centre stores, online shopping, home delivery and assembly, and more radical ideas such as leasing furniture and selling on websites such as Alibaba. Mr Loof says that challenging such a successful status quo is tricky, especially as the company does not have all the answers on what the new retail landscape will look like.....“We made sure that the vision and the purpose were very, very clear. Not spending too much time on what sometimes is in the middle of things — all the strategies and plans, and all of that had to come later.”......Ikea founder Ingvar Kamprad said it was important to be long term and “think about where should we be in 200 years?” The managers smiled at his exaggeration and asked him if that wasn’t too much. “Yes, of course”, he said, “but then you make the short-term plan: that means the next 100 years”.....the toughest tasks is encouraging the entrepreneurship that characterised the company’s early days. He concedes that the decade-long period of growth in the early part of this century stifled Ikea’s creativity and recalls going to see Kamprad a few years ago when sales suddenly hit a bump. “I was a little bit worried. I said to Ingvar: ‘sales are not growing’, and then he looked at me and just smiled and he said: ‘wonderful! Crisis!’ So, there is this kind of [attitude] to love the crisis because the opportunities in the crisis are that you get more creative,” he adds. Ikea has experimented more with what Mr Loof calls the “phygital” — the place where the physical and digital worlds of shopping collide (e.g.an augmented reality app visualization of Ikea furniture in situ at a customer's home, as well as a virtual reality kitchen). ...Ikea will do numerous trials in the next few years: “Even if we would be the best planners, we hire brilliant business analysts, the best strategists, I think we would not make it. So, we have to be the fastest learners . . . daring to test things and make mistakes, but also again correct them.”
CEOs  clarity  Ikea  vision  mistakes  Communicating_&_Connecting  creativity  crisis  cyberphysical  transformational  coopetition  city-centres  Alibaba  leasing  e-commerce  home-assembly  home-delivery  Torbjörn_Lööf 
february 2019 by jerryking
Why People Ghost — and How to Get Over It - The New York Times
By Adam Popescu
Jan. 22, 2019

Ghosting — when someone cuts off all communication without explanation....happens across all social circumstances and it’s tied to the way we view the world......The pace of modern life makes it hard enough to maintain real life friendships; it’s impossible to actually be friends with everyone you’re supposedly simpatico with online......Growing apart can be a friendship’s natural evolution; ditto for lovers.....when you get ghosted, there’s no closure, so you question yourself and choices which sabotages self-worth and self-esteem.....ghosting a form of the silent treatment akin to emotional cruelty (the pain it causes can be treated with Tylenol, according to multiple studies). So, how do you avoid it in the first place?......be particularly choosy about who you tend to interact with,”....get a sense early on of what kind of individual you’re dealing with.”......watch how people treat others is a good indicator.......Ghosting has a lot to do with someone’s comfort level and how they deal with their emotions,” she added. “A lot of people anticipate that talking about how they feel is going to be a confrontation. That mental expectation makes people want to avoid things that make them uncomfortable.”.....the flip side [of ghosting] is a subset of the population looking for real connection. “People are craving authenticity,”...“Being vulnerable is the number one thing that creates intimacy between people and if you worry about being hurt all the time, you’re not able to be vulnerable and it affects the quality of connection.”....ghosting has a lot to do with how we feel about our future — or whether we think our mate is the “one,” which is a question of belief versus destiny. Either someone believes the relationship is capable of growing or they’re seeking an archetypal partner (what’s typically called a soul mate). “Individuals who have stronger destiny beliefs are more likely to ghost,”....remember if someone ghosts you that behavior says more about them than you,” Dr. Vilhauer said. “It’s about their discomfort. You have to keep trying.”.....modify how we reject people.....Don’t apologize, she said, but be honest about boundaries, whether it’s going to a movie with someone or spending the rest of your life together. Just be real. “The good middle ground is explicitly rejecting someone and telling them ‘no,’ not ‘I’m sorry,’”....Taking a risk to tell someone how you really feel — even if it’s not what they want to hear — has benefits. Self-esteem, stress, blood pressure, spending more time with people you care about. And getting that time back opens up self-discovery.
authenticity  avoidance  belief_systems  blindsided  breakups  clarity  Communicating_&_Connecting  dating  discomforts  exits  friendships  ghosting  intimacy  personal_connections  relationships  say_"no"  self-discovery  self-esteem  self-worth 
february 2019 by jerryking

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