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But Oh, My Heart Was Flawed, by lacking
Thorin hopes the story of his life will not be told as a tragedy. And as he looks back on it all, watching for glimpses of sky through the swaying flap of his tent, it’s finally become clear to him that there was never another way for this to end.
fandom:the.hobbit  pairing:bilbo/thorin  genre:angst  genre:backstory  genre:character.study  genre:bittersweet  genre:first.time  theme:family  theme:character.death  char:thorin.oakenshield  char:bilbo.baggins  char:dis  char:frerin  char:fili  char:kili  char:balin  char:dwalin  char:thranduil  char:bard  char:galadriel  words:5k-10k  rating:r  via:intrinsic_cat 
june 2015 by muchasabejas
Bilbo/Bard - Anything
Anything with Bilbo/Bard. I'd even be happy with a drabble! There's just not enough of this pairing out there.

No gender-swap please.
#filled  char:bard  char:bilbo  pairing:bard/bilbo  !slash  #minifill 
march 2015 by hobbit-kink-meme
Thorin's NOT a Stupid Jerk
There seems to be a trend among Hobbit fans to portray Thorin as an abusive gold-obsessed tyrant, and Bilbo as a perfectly flawless Gary Stu Saint. I accept the fact that Thorin's actions during the Arkenstone incident were less than exemplary, but so were Bilbo's and Bard's. First, Bilbo stole the stone WITH THE INTENTION OF KEEPING IT. He gave to Bard on a whim. That little incident almost causes a war between the Dwarves and the men of Laketown. Second, people act like Bard needed the gold to buy food for his people over the winter, BUT HE WAS ALREADY RECEIVING AID FROM THRANDUIL. And really, after spending such a long time with Dwarves, Bilbo should have had at least SOME idea of how possessive and stubborn Dwarves can be. On top of that, Thorin had literally gone insane. As in, not guilty due to mental disease or defect.

PROMPT: I am getting really tired of fics that portray Thorin as an idiotic asshole at best and a sociopath/psychopath at worst (with no redeeming qualities whatsoever), Bilbo as a flawless saint, and Bard and his men as poor, helpless victims during the Arkenstone incident. I would like a fic that shows that Thorin is actually a lot more caring and in control than Bilbo thought (prior to finding out Bilbo gave the Arkenstone to Bard), and knew what he was doing. He gets furious at Bilbo because Bilbo threw off his plans and almost causes a slaughter between Dain's warriors and Bard's men. Whether Thorin is allowed to keep the throne or is forced/ decides to step down is up to you, as is whether or not Bilbo forgives him.

*100 if he's angry at Bard because Bard is using his men to chase after gold instead of to build shelter for his now homeless people.

*1000 if he called Dain and the Dwarves of the Iron Hills to do what he thinks Bard should be doing, i.e. rebuild Laketown.
#unfilled  char:thorin  char:bilbo  char:bard  char:thranduil  trope:goldsickness  type:meta  type:au  warning:mental-illness  type:gen  #rtyi 
february 2015 by hobbit-kink-meme
A Prompt Inspired by Ghost Adventures
(To be more specific, this is inspired by the tidbit on the Hoia-Baciu Forest in the Transylvania episode.)


It's been some months after the Battle. Rebuilding Erebor is going slowly for the damage Smaug wrecked was far worse than anyone expected. Returning Dwarves, expecting miracles, are disappointed. No one, though, says anything in front of Thorin. They've heard tales of his gold-sick behavior and are wary of incurring his wrath.

Thorin knows this. He knows that the Company tread lightly around him for fear of his madness. His attempts to reassure them are met with false reassurances. It stings enough to where he offers a sign of good faith. This sign of good faith is allowing Bilbo to return (not permanently, mind you). He sends a letter to the Shire, asking for Bilbo. To the surprise of all, the letter returns unopened. With it is another letter stating Bilbo never returned to the Shire.

Puzzled, he asks Bard. Bard reports that Bilbo departed for Thranduil's domain. Asking Thranduil, Thorin finds that Bilbo departed his company for the Shire. Elves are sent to investigate. They find nothing.

Some time later, reports filter up to Erebor of unusual sightings. The most persistent have Elves seeing a hobbit walking through the woods, oblivious to the world around him...
trope:ghosts  #unfilled  char:bilbo  char:thorin  char:company  trope:epistolary  char:bard  char:thranduil  warning:character-death  type:au  type:angst 
february 2015 by hobbit-kink-meme
Bard/Azog Modern Human AU
Bard and Azog meet while angsting about their children at a bar. After running into eachother a few times, they decide they like eachother, and should do something about it.
~Just imagine a freakishly tall Manu Bennet for Azog
~Mega bonus for their kids meeting, and the awkward levels are astoundingly high
#unfilled  char:bard  char:azog  pairing:azog/bard  !slash  type:modern-day  type:au  kink:raceswap 
february 2015 by hobbit-kink-meme
Dis/Bard - yes you read that right
Dis is a HBIC and Bard is a BAMF and they have both lost their first spouse and deserve a second chance to have a little fun and happiness (and really hot sex).

They meet after BOFA during negotiations between the kingdoms and fall for each other’s sass, which takes them and everyone else by surprise. I would like this to be an Everyone-Lives-AU so we can have Kili going “but Mooooom he’s younger than me, it’s groooosss!!!” (I can’t think how Fili would react) and Thorin grumping and being told to SHUT UP because she has put up with a lot of nonsense from him over the years and can damn well do as she pleases, and if that includes taking a hot human toyboy then so much the better!

I can see Bard as the kind of man who would appreciate a strong older woman who could advise him when he feels overwhelmed with responsibility but won’t admit it, and Dis as the kind of woman who could manage all the blockheaded, stubborn males around her for the good of both kingdoms.
#unfilled  !het  char:bard  char:dis  pairing:bard/dis  type:au  char:fili  char:thorin  char:kili  kink:age  kink:romantic  #rtyi 
february 2015 by hobbit-kink-meme
Bard is not obviously male to the Dwarves
He looks delightfully androgynous and has a very pretty moustache. Some of them assume he's a single mom.

Dwarf beauty standards are mostly focussed on hair/facial hair, the more mane-like the better, so while Bilbo looks cute and young, the elves look kind of limp and featureless/sexless, but Bard has curly hair and a little goatee and sideburns that are very attractive and kinda feminine.

From the dwarves point of view a beautiful 'woman' captures then rescues them, takes them to 'her' house and makes them change their clothes. Crushes, showing off, flirting, confusion, and embarrassment abound.

Any pairing, but I want Dwalin making lewd comments cos it's funny.
#unfilled  #partial  char:bard  char:dwalin  char:balin  trope:misunderstandings  trope:flirting  trope:culture  !slash  type:meta  type:au  kink:androgyny  char:company  pairing:bard/dwalin  warning:noncon 
february 2015 by hobbit-kink-meme
Any, gen, corruption dark!bilbo?
Bilbo has the one ring, talked with Smaug, and spent several days around around a dragon's hoard. He even stole from the dragon!

One of these things is enough to give darkness some room to fester in one's soul, but all four? Even a hobbit didn't stand a chance. Bilbo loses sense with reality. Most of the Arkenstone debacle is actually all in his head. Everyone familiar with the hobbit is quite concerned and even the unfamiliar (Thranduil) warily watches Bilbo.

I kind of want outsider POV's (from the company, Gandalf, bard, etc.) all noticing something is wrong Bilbo and then their surprise, confusion, hurt, betrayal, etc. when Bilbo steals the Arkenstone to give to Bard.

Can cover just the Arkenstone incident or more if filler wants.

Bonuses:
* Gandalf flipping out upon learning Bilbo talked to Smaug
* Thranduil knowing something isn't right with the hobbit but is too pragmatic about using the Arkenstone as a bargaining chip to really care
* AU BoFA, A-- (Full details at prompt)
#unfilled  char:bilbo  type:au  warning:dark  char:company  char:bard  char:thranduil  char:gandalf  type:gen  type:angst  char:azog 
october 2014 by hobbit-kink-meme
Bard/Legolas, How to train your elf.
Craving some dominate Bard and some Legolas ‘sick of always being so damn in control of everything’ smut fic. Don't mind if its an established relationship or even just random fuck buddies looking for stress relief. Could go great as one of those ‘five times...blah blah’ ideas. ‘Five ways to train your elf’ or something of the sort. Gotta be completely consensual, no Stockholm syndrome and nothing too BDSM extreme; they both just like it a little rough and a little kinky. *10000 for having Legolas on a lead at some stage. *1000000 if you somehow end up flipping the feel of it by the end, so instead of Legolas surrendering power in order to escape his own duties, he's in fact training Bard on how to be a strict king.
#unfilled  char:bard  char:legolas  pairing:bard/legolas  !slash  kink:rough-sex  type:n+1 
october 2014 by hobbit-kink-meme
Fili/merBard
i've seen a couple of prompts with mermaid Fili, so how about mermaid/merman Bard. maybe everyone in the laketown has ability to shapeshift into merfolk.
#unfilled  char:fili  char:bard  trope:merfolk  pairing:bard/fili  !slash  trope:shapeshifting 
october 2014 by hobbit-kink-meme
Cultural groups, social hierarchies and politics of Laketown ie Why is Bard welsh? ;)
I watched the movie again and remembered that Luke said everyone in Laketown descended from Dale had a welsh accent, so I listened for them. I was surprised that it was only Bard, his kids, and one old man. Everyone else had an english estuary/essex type accent which is quite different (except the Master who sounded like Stephen Fry). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78ne9r1yHYU

This got me thinking - my parents are immigrants but I sound like the culture I was raised in. Why does Bard have a Dalish accent at all? He and his kids were "born and raised on these waters", even the old man might have been.

The only reason I can think of is a lack of intergration of the Dalish refugees with the Esgaroth folk, and the main reason for that is usually prejudice. I got the impression that the destruction of Dale was pretty devastating, and the surviving Dalians are a minority. Is their influx into Esgaroth blamed for the town's woes? Girion is certainly blamed for -- (Full details at prompt)
#unfilled  trope:culture  type:au  char:bard 
september 2014 by hobbit-kink-meme
Thranduil tries to woo Bard, Bard is oblivious, Thranduil suffers an insecurity crisis!
Thranduil is attracted to Bard when they meet at BOFA, (he is a good archer and father, of royal birth, has great bone structure, and slayed a dragon - what’s not to like?) So, deciding to reconsider his isolationist policy now the politics of the region are shifting he subtly hints that he would not be averse to reinforcing the bonds between their people ie he would magnanimously deign to take Bard to bed. Bard is pleased by the offer of friendship and support but completely fails to spot the subtext. Believing the human to be a little dense or naïve Thranduil tries again but with more obvious flirtation. Bard… doesn’t notice, he’s a very busy man! Thranduil is infuriated! He’s used to getting whatever and whomever he wants! Is he not ~Fabulous~ and ~Magnificent~? Other elves would drop at his feet for a chance to be his chosen bedmate! Who is this mere mortal to dare ignore him?! … is he not pretty anymore? :( Thranduil frets, but in a regal way. (more at the prompt)
#unfilled  !slash  trope:pining  trope:insecurity  trope:flirting  char:bard  char:thranduil  pairing:bard/thranduil  kink:fuckbuddies 
august 2014 by hobbit-kink-meme
Gen, Star Wars AU
In which Bilbo and Gandalf play Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi, respectively.

Bilbo is the son of a Jedi Knight on a backwater planet, Gandalf is a former Jedi who mentors him, the Dwarves are the Rebel Alliance, and Smaug is the evil Sith Lord who conquered their home planet of Erebor.

*100 if Bard plays Han Solo's role.
*1000 if one of the Dwarves plays Princess Leia's role (it can be a genderbender or not, whatever you want.).
#unfilled  type:au  type:crossover  fandom:star-wars  char:bilbo  char:gandalf  char:bard  char:smaug  char:dwarves  type:gen  !slash  !het 
august 2014 by hobbit-kink-meme
Bard /Fili, HUGE CLOTHES!
Bard sees Fili struggling to put of those huge clothes (Bard's clothes) in a confortable way so he decides to help him a little, all the while trying to hide his smirk at how adorable this little dwarf looks drowning in his clothes.
#unfilled  !slash  char:bard  char:fili  pairing:bard/fili  type:fluff  kink:clothing 
august 2014 by hobbit-kink-meme
Fili/Bard of Laketown
Fili falls in love with Bard, and maybe tells him so, that's the main reason he goes all protective of his children, like a fierce momma lion...maybe Bard did not return his feelings at first, but when he hears the young prince risked his life to save his babies, he sees the beautiful and sweet dwarf in a whole different light.
#unfilled  !slash  char:fili  char:bard  trope:protective  trope:unrequited  pairing:bard/fili 
august 2014 by hobbit-kink-meme
Bard/Fili age difference
I just want something dealing with the weird age difference between them

Fili might be young by dwarf standards, and Bard is an adult by human standards, but Fili is still somewhere in his 80s while Bard is in his 30s
#unfilled  !slash  char:bard  char:fili  pairing:bard/fili  kink:age 
august 2014 by hobbit-kink-meme

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