author:lazulisong   563

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Fic: metaphorically speaking [shang qinghua, the scum villain's self-saving system]
"I had a question for the Peak Lord," says Luo Binghe, voice sweet, eyes cold. "A dialect question."

If Shang Qinghua was sweating before, he's dripping fucking rivers now. He and Cucumber-bro communicate in a horrible mix of memes, internet slang, Chinglish and modern Chinese, mostly but not entirely incomprehensible for any outsider. Luo Binghe had decided it must be some hometown dialect that they shared, despite any evidence of Shen Qingqui and Shang Qinghua ever speaking to each other before they both had the shitty luck to be transmigrated, and devoted himself to learning his beloved Shizun's birth dialect. Fuck! Why was Shang Qinghua dumb enough to have made it a plot point that Luo Binghe had a god level ability to pick up languages!

.... right, so he could pick up some girl's dialect and seduce her more easily, but it wasn't fair that this monogamous version of his son could still do it, okay!!
scum.villain  character:shang.qinghua  pairing:luo.binghe/shen.qingqiu  author:lazulisong  (content:humor)  [rating:pants]  (words:1001-2500) 
8 days ago by midnightbex
putting on the ritz | lazulisong
"They think you paid me to be here," hisses Eggsy.

Harry stares at him. "I made your favorite dinner and I have to let your wretched beast sleep on the bed for a month," he says flatly.

"No, they think you paid me to be here," says Eggsy.

"My dear boy," says Harry, "do you think all these third wives married my classmates out of the purity of their affections?"
Series:Kingsman  Pairing:Harry/Eggsy  Relationship:Established  Trope:Domestic  Trope:OutsiderPerspective  Author:Lazulisong  Length:5.000-10.000 
march 2019 by anandarres
this secret language that we speak - lazulisong - 镇魂 | Guardian (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
"If you don't want to do this any more," says Shen Wei, "you get off the couch, and we'll do whatever you want. Do you understand?"

Zhao Yunlan is so hot he thinks he's going to light the couch on fire. He swallows and nods.
fic-recs  author:lazulisong  rating:NC-17  fandom:guardian 
march 2019 by yan_tan_tether
that's where you belong by lazulisong
First of all, how dare Shen Wei. Second of all, Zhao Yunlan has been looking forward to this for like, as long as he's been aware that Shen Wei is an alpha. Third of all --
fanfiction  fandom:guardian  ship:shenwei/yunlan  slash  rating:nc-17  trope:alpha/omega  au  author:lazulisong 
november 2018 by peyton
With My Tail In The Air
The aliens were very sorry for nearly killing Captain Kirk, and wanted to fix things.
author:lazulisong  under_10k  contains:humour  cat!jim  rainy_afternoon_fic  favourite  On_Ao3 
november 2018 by fallsslowly
this secret language that we speak by lazulisong
"If you don't want to do this any more," says Shen Wei, "you get off the couch, and we'll do whatever you want. Do you understand?"

Zhao Yunlan is so hot he thinks he's going to light the couch on fire. He swallows and nods.

"I didn't hear you," says Shen Wei, implacable as death. "Do you understand?"

Zhao Yunlan has to clear his throat, and when he manages to speak, his voice is gravelled with arousal. "Yeah. I do."

"Good," says Shen Wei.
fanfiction  fandom:guardian  ship:shenwei/yunlan  slash  rating:nc-17  trope:D/s  author:lazulisong  kink 
october 2018 by peyton
Graduate Vulcan for Fun and Profit
"I WAS BORN ON THE GOD DAMN SHUTTLE, YOU SON OF A BITCH," roars Jim, leaping to his feet.

"-- James Tiberius Kirk --"

Everybody's turning and staring at him in totally unflattering surprise, even Spock and Bones, God damn them both to hell. Jim can't help himself. "May thy shade thirst for water a thousand years! May thy katra be inherited by le-matya! May thy lands forget thy name, and thine descendants thy grave! May thou wander in the cold an age, and another age, and another age upon that! May thy daughters be given unto the desert, and the daughters of thy sister unto the slaver!"

"Kirk," says Uhura respectfully, "that is the sexiest thing you have ever said in my presence."
author:lazulisong  star-trek  favorite 
march 2018 by sarapod
Tea Wolf by lazulisong
Fucking around the internet is what Stiles does best, okay.

For the prompt: Stiles has been fucking around on Adiago teas, thinking no one will come across his jokes.
fic  teenwolf  stilesstilinski  derekhale  tea  author:lazulisong  humour 
january 2018 by ashtree22
Fic: the nuclear option [yuuri/victor, yuri!!! on ice]
Victor is surprised that Yuri agrees to a fancy date night out. Usually he has to be really cute and plead a lot, but Yuri seems inclined to indulge him for once.

"Sure," says Yuri. "Why not? We haven't been out for a while, have we?" He smiles sweetly up at Victor. "I have a half day, right? If you can get dressed at the rink, I'll meet you there."

In retrospect, Victor should have been more suspicious.
yuri!!!  pairing:katsuki.yuuri/victor.nikiforov  author:lazulisong  (content:pwp)  (content:d/s)  [rating:no.pants]  (words:2501-5k) 
october 2017 by midnightbex
rivers never fill the oceans - lazulisong - Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime) [Archive of Our Own]
Phichit says, "Did you need something?"

"Oh, I was just hoping to steal Yuri for a little bit," Victor chirps. He meets Phichit's eyes, and doesn't look over at Yuri. Phichit lets his eyes slide over to Yuri and then back at Victor.
!2017  pairing:yuuri/victor  author:lazulisong  location:ao3  rating:pg  fandom:yurionice 
october 2017 by swisscheese
rivers never fill the oceans - lazulisong - Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime) [Archive of Our Own]
Phichit says, "Did you need something?"

"Oh, I was just hoping to steal Yuri for a little bit," Victor chirps. He meets Phichit's eyes, and doesn't look over at Yuri. Phichit lets his eyes slide over to Yuri and then back at Victor.

"Awww," says Phichit. "If you have to!" He pats Yuri very gently on the back and turns toward Victor. "Bring him back safe!"

He's smiling, but Victor gets the idea.
canon:yurionice  pairing:yuuri/victor  genre:hurt/comfort  length:midlength  genre:fluff  author:lazulisong  fic 
october 2017 by innocentsmith
talk crap get smacked - lazulisong - Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime) [Archive of Our Own]
The entire hockey team falters, faced by Katsuki's dark eyes shaded by his inky eyelashes. It's very effective. Mila's going to find out what mascara he uses.

"Did - did someone pull a prank on you?" says Katsuki.
!2017  fandom:yurionice  pairing:yuuri/victor  location:ao3  rating:pg  author:lazulisong 
august 2017 by swisscheese
Fic: talk crap get smacked [yuuri/victor, yuri!!! on ice]
It turns out that Katsuki has a great poker face and secretly thinks Victor crying is hilarious, and also, if you say a word against Victor Nikiforov, the Best Skater in the World, he is calmly, quietly prepared to burn your world down.

He's Mila's new best friend, and she tells him so.
yuri!!!  pairing:katsuki.yuuri/victor.nikiforov  author:lazulisong  (genre:gen)  (content:pranks)  [rating:pants]  (words:1001-2500) 
august 2017 by midnightbex
every inch of you is perfect | lazulisong
PHICHIT: is something going on
PHICHIT: something better not be going on
YOU: what could possibly be going on for you to worry about?
PHICHIT: what have you done to my son, victor aleksandrovich nikiforov
YOU: [ ✓ seen 9:00AM ]
Series:YuriOnIce  Pairing:Yuuri/Victor  Relationship:Established  Trope:Transformation  Trope:Animals  Author:Lazulisong  Length:1.000-5.000 
july 2017 by anandarres

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