author:jezebel_rising   22

Fic: A Minor Misunderstanding [bilbo/thorin, the hobbit au]
“Now that I have you where I want you,” Azog’s cruel smile revealed a mouth full of sharp, jagged teeth. “Thorin, son of Thrain! In your blood I will revel! In your skin I will sink my teeth!”

“You will feel the bite of my blade before your beastly maw ever touches my flesh!” Thorin roared back.

And that, for some reason, made all the orcs cheer, lifting up their weapons and whooping loud into the night.

“Then by your own word you accept my suit! Bolg! Yazneg! Bring me my book!”

“I will defend - wait. What?”
the.hobbit  pairing:bilbo.baggins/thorin.oakenshield  character:azog  author:jezebel_rising  (au)  (au:everyone.lives/nobody.dies)  (content:crack)  (content:courtship)  [rating:pants]  (words:2501-5k)  via:midnightbex 
october 2015 by yarngeek
Fic: A Minor Misunderstanding [bilbo/thorin, the hobbit au]
“Now that I have you where I want you,” Azog’s cruel smile revealed a mouth full of sharp, jagged teeth. “Thorin, son of Thrain! In your blood I will revel! In your skin I will sink my teeth!”

“You will feel the bite of my blade before your beastly maw ever touches my flesh!” Thorin roared back.

And that, for some reason, made all the orcs cheer, lifting up their weapons and whooping loud into the night.

“Then by your own word you accept my suit! Bolg! Yazneg! Bring me my book!”

“I will defend - wait. What?”
the.hobbit  pairing:bilbo.baggins/thorin.oakenshield  character:azog  author:jezebel_rising  (au)  (au:everyone.lives/nobody.dies)  (content:crack)  (content:courtship)  [rating:pants]  (words:2501-5k) 
october 2015 by midnightbex
In More than the Wisdom of Years
So the battle happened and Thorin lived (barely, but he's managed to escape death) his nephews too. The treasure has been divided and Elves and Men went on their way. Dwarves are set on rebuilding Erebor to its former glory and there's just one little thing left unsolved - setting their burglar on the way.
I would pretty much like it form the point of view of Dis, who just arrived to Erebor to take care of her boys (brother included) and sees what a mess Thorin's made of everything.
author:jezebel_rising  fandom:Hobbit  fanfic  on.A03  length:1000-5000  pairing:Bilbo.Baggins/Thorin.Oakenshield 
january 2015 by willowanne
Of Curses and Patrick Kane [Jezebel_rising]
For the record, Patrick blames Pubert for the blond hair and the blue eyes and the – the face, okay? Just because a curse is lifted does not mean that it is gone.
Author:Jezebel_rising  Fic  HockeyRPF  PatrickKane/JonathanToews  Fusion  Romance  Drama  General  Schmoop  Crossover  TheAddamsFamily  WordCount:5-10k  Source 
may 2014 by Brandysnaps
Of the Stars and Seasons That Come After - jezebel_rising
The second prophecy of Mandos states: "When the world is old and the Powers grow weary, then Morgoth, seeing that the guard sleepeth, shall come back through the Door of the Night out of the Timeless Void; and he shall destroy the Sun and the Moon."

This is the story of the Dagor Dagorath, the Battle of Battles and how even the smallest creatures can affect the course of fate.
fandom:tolkien  author:jezebel_rising  fandom:silmarillion  fandom:lotr 
january 2014 by absurdfact
A Minor Misunderstanding
From a prompt on the kink-meme: "Thorin's company escapes the goblin tunnels, they are chased by the wargs and they take refuge in the trees. But when Azog shows up it turns out he has no intention of killing them. He has been fantasizing about Thorin ever since the dwarf cut off his arm, and now he has every intention of proposing to the love-of-his-life in a proper orc-fashion...

So, instead of attacking Azog starts courting Thorin (much to everyone's horror), reciting orc poetry, singing morbid love songs accompanied by the howling wargs and professing his undying love for his beloved foe, combining threats and promises. Thorin is thoroughly disgusted, the older dwarves are outraged and the young ones are barely suppressing laughter, while Gandalf is disturbingly pragmatic about the whole situation. Bilbo is just scared."
fandom:lord_of_the_rings  bilbo_baggins  thorin_oakenshield  azog  author:jezebel_rising  pairing:thorin/bilbo  fanfic  slash 
december 2013 by jhaelyn
A Minor Misunderstanding - jezebel_rising
From a prompt on the kink-meme: "Thorin's company escapes the goblin tunnels, they are chased by the wargs and they take refuge in the trees. But when Azog shows up it turns out he has no intention of killing them. He has been fantasizing about Thorin ever since the dwarf cut off his arm, and now he has every intention of proposing to the love-of-his-life in a proper orc-fashion...

So, instead of attacking Azog starts courting Thorin (much to everyone's horror), reciting orc poetry, singing morbid love songs accompanied by the howling wargs and professing his undying love for his beloved foe, combining threats and promises. Thorin is thoroughly disgusted, the older dwarves are outraged and the young ones are barely suppressing laughter, while Gandalf is disturbingly pragmatic about the whole situation. Bilbo is just scared."
author:jezebel_rising  fandom:tolkien 
december 2013 by absurdfact
A Minor Misunderstanding - jezebel_rising - The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]
From a prompt on the kink-meme: "Thorin's company escapes the goblin tunnels, they are chased by the wargs and they take refuge in the trees. But when Azog shows up it turns out he has no intention of killing them. He has been fantasizing about Thorin ever since the dwarf cut off his arm, and now he has every intention of proposing to the love-of-his-life in a proper orc-fashion...

So, instead of attacking Azog starts courting Thorin (much to everyone's horror), reciting orc poetry, singing morbid love songs accompanied by the howling wargs and professing his undying love for his beloved foe, combining threats and promises. Thorin is thoroughly disgusted, the older dwarves are outraged and the young ones are barely suppressing laughter, while Gandalf is disturbingly pragmatic about the whole situation. Bilbo is just scared."
author:jezebel_rising  rating:pg-13  crack  hobbit  bilbo/thorin 
november 2013 by nyx
EreBORED - jezebel_rising - The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]
From the prompt: Having a huge, shiny hoard is all lovely, but somehow, Smaug isn't your typical dragon. After snoozing on that glimmering pile of gold for 60 years, he starts growing increadibly BORED! So when a troop of dwarves and a hobbit show up at his backdoor, this provides some desperately needed entertainment as well as a way of getting the hell out of that hideous mountain without entirely losing his face.

Warning: drug use/imagery and pure, total crack. I'm not kidding. This is the crackiest thing I've ever written. IDEK, people. I really don't.
thorin/bilbo  c:dwarves  c:smaug  genre:crack  genre:humor  author:jezebel_rising  fanfiction  fandom:TheHobbit  fandom:Tolkien 
june 2013 by alamerysl
A Minor Misunderstanding - jezebel_rising - The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]
From a prompt on the kink-meme: "Thorin's company escapes the goblin tunnels, they are chased by the wargs and they take refuge in the trees. But when Azog shows up it turns out he has no intention of killing them. He has been fantasizing about Thorin ever since the dwarf cut off his arm, and now he has every intention of proposing to the love-of-his-life in a proper orc-fashion...

So, instead of attacking Azog starts courting Thorin (much to everyone's horror), reciting orc poetry, singing morbid love songs accompanied by the howling wargs and professing his undying love for his beloved foe, combining threats and promises. Thorin is thoroughly disgusted, the older dwarves are outraged and the young ones are barely suppressing laughter, while Gandalf is disturbingly pragmatic about the whole situation. Bilbo is just scared."

 

The fill went slightly sideways from the prompt. Enjoy.
thorin/bilbo  c:gandalf  c:dwarves  c:azog  universe:au  genre:humor  genre:crack  author:jezebel_rising  fanfiction  rereadable  giggles  fandom:TheHobbit  fandom:Tolkien 
june 2013 by alamerysl
EreBORED by jezebel_rising (PG-13)
From the prompt: Having a huge, shiny hoard is all lovely, but somehow, Smaug isn't your typical dragon. After snoozing on that glimmering pile of gold for 60 years, he starts growing increadibly BORED! So when a troop of dwarves and a hobbit show up at his backdoor, this provides some desperately needed entertainment as well as a way of getting the hell out of that hideous mountain without entirely losing his face. (1,836 words)

Author Warning: drug use/imagery and pure, total crack.
And lo, though it never got put into song, this was how Bilbo Baggins got Smaug the Dragon high as a kite and out of Erebor with no bloodshed and the sacrificing of only a few rotting chairs.
fanfiction  fandom:Hobbit  crack  humor  drugged  Pairing:Bilbo/Thorin  author:jezebel_rising  rating:pg-13  wc:001001-005000 
january 2013 by jenna_marianne
In More than the Wisdom of Years by jezebel_rising (PG)
Written for the prompt: So the battle happened and Thorin lived (barely, but he's managed to escape death) and his nephews too. The treasure has been divided and Elves and Men went on their way. Dwarves are set on rebuilding Erebor to its former glory and there's just one little thing left unsolved - setting their burglar on the way. I would pretty much like it form the point of view of Dis, who just arrived to Erebor to take care of her boys (brother included) and sees what a mess Thorin's made of everything. (4,211 words)
“Dis,” Thorin’s voice was a whisper of what it was. “You came.”

“Of course I bloody well came, you twit,” she shooed the woman at his side away, even as the dwarf-lass gaped at her. “What are you doing?”

Thorin squinted at her. “Dying.”

“Don’t be absurd. You – no, you,” she snapped her fingers at the dwarf-lass. “Open that panel. It’s like a cave in here, I can barely see. You – no the other you – get me a bowl of water, nice and hot. And you – yes, the one left staring at me – get me a nice cup of broth, not too warm. Well? Go.” Dis turned her back on the gaping idiots to focus her attention on her brother. “And you. Dying. Honestly, you’re being as dramatic as Great Aunt Narni.”

[[BAMF Dis fixes everything]]
via:absurdfact  fanfiction  fandom:Hobbit  humor  injury  family_relationships  gen  Pairing:Bilbo/Thorin  author:jezebel_rising  rating:pg  wc:001001-005000 
january 2013 by jenna_marianne
In More than the Wisdom of Years, by jezebel_rising
"A kink-meme fill with the prompt: So the battle happened and Thorin lived (barely, but he's managed to escape death) his nephews too. The treasure has been divided and Elves and Men went on their way. Dwarves are set on rebuilding Erebor to its former glory and there's just one little thing left unsolved - setting their burglar on the way. I would pretty much like it form the point of view of Dis, who just arrived to Erebor to take care of her boys (brother included) and sees what a mess Thorin's made of everything."
fandom:tolkien  author:jezebel_rising 
january 2013 by absurdfact
Of Curses and Patrick Kane - jezebel_rising - Hockey RPF, Addams Family - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]
For the record, Patrick blames Pubert for the blond hair and the blue eyes and the – the face, okay? Just because a curse is lifted does not mean that it is gone.

// an Addams Family AU/crossover
fic  0-15k  pg  hockey  au  kane/toews  trope:magic/powers  addamsfamily  author:jezebel_rising 
november 2012 by elqiao
Fic: Long Way Home
Beginning of their first tour and all the trouble that follows Jim. His step-father beats a kid to death and the news picks up on Jim's juvenile medical record. Winona defends Frank, blaming Jim for being a terrible kid that drove him to everything.
length:20001-50000  relationship:pre-slash  ***  status:complete  trope:smart!kirk  warning:abuse  genre:angst  rating:nc-17  genre:h/c  pairing:kirk/spock  fandom:stxi  trope:protective!spock  trope:abused!kirk  author:jezebel_rising 
december 2011 by waywardtrekkie
jezebel_rising: Star Trek reboot fic: Long Way Home master post
Author’s Notes: Apparently my brain can break Jim Kirk, too. The fic is mostly Jim centric, with a couple barrels of angst thrown in as Jim feels his way into being a captain and gaining friends.
author:jezebel_rising  fandom:startrekxi  pairing:gen  rating:nc-17  trope:hurt/comfort  trope:childabuse  wc:20000-49999  trope:foundfamily  trope:heart-hurty  trope:startrek:abused!kirk 
september 2011 by amazonziti
As the World Falls Down by jezebel_rising / dragongirl16 (R)
Zombies bring about true love. No. Really. And the end of the world, but that’s secondary. (3,904 words) -- the virus had washed over the world, turning the living into the walking dead. Panic had erupted, the finger of blame pointed squarely at mutant-kind. Mutants had been crucified in public squares, stoned to death, tortured, every evil of the Nazi camps come back, amplified a thousand times over as terrified humans tried every route to keep the deadly virus from entering their cities. It never worked. <br />
[Originally posted: http://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/3115.html?thread=3106091#t3106091]
fanfiction  fandom:X-Men:First_Class  drama  angst  zombies  post-apocalyptic  virus  Pairing:Charles/Erik  author:jezebel_rising  rating:r  wc:001001-005000  from delicious
july 2011 by jenna_marianne
As the World Falls Down
Zombies bring about true love. No. Really. And the end of the world, but that’s secondary.
author:dragongirl16  author:jezebel_rising  category:slash  category:au  pairing:charles/erik  rating:R  site:livejournal  wordcount:unknown 
june 2011 by First_Class_Fic

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(au)  (au:everyone.lives/nobody.dies)  (content:courtship)  (content:crack)  (words:2501-5k)  ***  0-15k  [rating:pants]  addamsfamily  angst  au  author:dragongirl16  azog  bilbo/thorin  bilbo_baggins  c:azog  c:dwarves  c:gandalf  c:smaug  category:au  category:slash  character:azog  character:jim_kirk  character:leonard_mccoy  character:nyota_uhura  character:spock  crack  crossover  drama  drugged  era:5yr_mission  fairytale!feel  family_relationships  fandom:addamsfamily  fandom:crossover  fandom:hobbit  fandom:inception  fandom:lord_of_the_rings  fandom:lotr  fandom:silmarillion  fandom:star_trek  fandom:startrekxi  fandom:stxi  fandom:thehobbit  fandom:tolkien  fandom:transformers  fandom:x-men:first_class  fanfic  fanfiction  fic  fusion  gen  general  genre:angst  genre:crack  genre:h/c  genre:humor  genre:pwp  giggles  hobbit  hockey  hockeyrpf  humor  injury  kane/toews  length:1000-5000  length:20001-50000  length:ficlet  loverly  note:sequel  on.a03  pairing:arthur/eames  pairing:bee/sam  pairing:bilbo/thorin  pairing:bilbo.baggins/thorin.oakenshield  pairing:charles/erik  pairing:gen  pairing:kirk/spock  pairing:thorin/bilbo  patrickkane/jonathantoews  pg  post-apocalyptic  post:film  rating:nc-17  rating:nc17  rating:pg-13  rating:pg  rating:r  relationship:pre-slash  rereadable  romance  schmoop  site:livejournal  slash  source  status:complete  the.hobbit  theaddamsfamily  thorin/bilbo  thorin_oakenshield  trope:abuse_revealed  trope:abused!kirk  trope:backstory  trope:childabuse  trope:foundfamily  trope:friendship  trope:heart-hurty  trope:hurt/comfort  trope:magic/powers  trope:protective!spock  trope:smart!kirk  trope:startrek:abused!kirk  universe:au  virus  warning:abuse  wc:001001-005000  wc:20000-49999  web:livejournal  wordcount:5-10k  wordcount:unknown  zombies 

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