Programming   1230391

« earlier    

The Night Watch - James Mickens
As a highly trained academic researcher, I spend a lot of time trying
to advance the frontiers of human knowledge. However, as someone
who was born in the South, I secretly believe that true progress is
a fantasy, and that I need to prepare for the end times, and for the chickens
coming home to roost, and fast zombies, and slow zombies, and the polite
zombies who say “sir” and “ma’am” but then try to eat your brain to acquire
your skills. When the revolution comes, I need to be prepared; thus, in the
quiet moments, when I’m not producing incredible scientific breakthroughs,
I think about what I’ll do when the weather forecast inevitably becomes
RIVERS OF BLOOD ALL DAY EVERY DAY. The main thing that I ponder is
who will be in my gang, because the likelihood of post-apocalyptic survival
is directly related to the size and quality of your rag-tag group of associates.
There are some obvious people who I’ll need to recruit: a locksmith (to open
doors); a demolitions expert (for when the locksmith has run out of ideas);
and a person who can procure, train, and then throw snakes at my enemies
(because, in a world without hope, snake throwing is a reasonable way to
resolve disputes). All of these people will play a role in my ultimate success
as a dystopian warlord philosopher. However, the most important person in
my gang will be a systems programmer. A person who can debug a device
driver or a distributed system is a person who can be trusted in a Hobbesian
nightmare of breathtaking scope; a systems programmer has seen the terrors
of the world and understood the intrinsic horror of existence. The systems
programmer has written drivers for buggy devices whose firmware was
implemented by a drunken child or a sober goldfish. The systems programmer
has traced a network problem across eight machines, three time zones,
and a brief diversion into Amish country, where the problem was transmitted
in the front left hoof of a mule named Deliverance. The systems programmer
has read the kernel source, to better understand the deep ways of the
universe, and the systems programmer has seen the comment in the scheduler
that says “DOES THIS WORK LOL,” and the systems programmer has
wept instead of LOLed, and the systems programmer has submitted a kernel
patch to restore balance to The Force and fix the priority inversion that was
causing MySQL to hang. A systems programmer will know what to do when
society breaks down, because the systems programmer already lives in a
world without law.
programming  humor 
11 hours ago by darren_n
Transducers in Swift
Transducers allow us to use only one intermeidate array and one iteration through the array to apply many transformations while being in control of the way it reduces.
programming  apple 
11 hours ago by pelley

« earlier    

related tags

3d  ada  adobe  aggregator  algorithmia  amazon  android  apple  apps  article  assembly  augmented-reality  aviation  bestpractices  bitcoin  blag  blockchain  blog  book  books  bootcamps  business  c#  c++  c  career  choice  clojure  cncf  code  coding  community  compsci  computers  computerscience  computersecurity  cool  cryptography  data  datascience  declarative  decompiler  design  designsystem  develop  development  disassembler  documentation  dotnet  ebook  ebooks  eclipse  editor  education  else  emulation  engineering  ethereum  etherum  event_sourcing  events  extension  f#  feminism  fewd  flash  fonts  format  framework  free  functional-dev  functional  functionalprogramming  functions  gamedev  games  generator  git  go  golang  google  graphics  graphql  guide  hackernews  hacking  haskell  howto  humor  ifttt  imperative  interesting  interface  ios-development  ios  java  javascript  kids  languages  learn  learning  library  linux  lisp  lists  lol  machinelearning  macros  mainstream  math  mathematical  mobile  mocking  monospace  needtoread  newbie  news  notes  online  open-source  opensource  operations  optimisation  performance  perl  pmz  pocket  predictions  productivity  profdev  programming  prototypes  python  quotes  read  reddit  reference  regex  rest  resume  review  ruby  sbcl  scala  scratch  search  service  shell  smalltalk  sociology  software  startup  string  style  suggestion  swift  synchronized  technology  testing  time  tips  toblog  toolkit  tools  tutorial  typography  unique_ptr  verification  via-thcipriani  videogame  vim  vscode  walker  walking  webservices  windows 

Copy this bookmark: