(content:oblivious.failboats)   329

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Fic: Male Fertility Rate 1.0 Update [beijun/qinghua, the scum-villain's self-saving system]
[System: MFR 1.0 available, would you like to perform system and hardware update now? ]

>>> Yes
>>> No

 

With a wave of his hand and a huff, Shang Qinghua accepted the update without another fuss, hoping to return to sleep’s embrace before morning came as much as it can on the winterlands of the North. He hugged the extra pillow Mo Beijun had kindly permitted him to have to his chest, mumbling into the soft silken but cottony fabric. The system’s confirmation reply dinged cheerfully in his head.

[System: Thank you for your continued patronage! Installing MFR 1.0 software and hardware update now, we hope you enjoy your new experience ☆~(ゝ。∂)]
scum.villain  pairing:mo.beijun/shang.qinghua  author:noitratoxin  (content:humor)  (content:mating.cycles/in.heat)  (content:oblivious.failboats)  (content:first.time)  (content:marriage)  [rating:no.pants]  (words:5001-10k)  (content:alpha/beta/omega.dynamics) 
9 days ago by midnightbex
Fic: fruit of the loins [beijun/qinghua, the scum villain's self-saving system]
Mobei Jun has always been a little weird (demons, you know?) but lately Shang Qinghua has just been completely baffled. Just what is going through Mobei Jun's mind?
scum.villain  pairing:mo.beijun/shang.qinghua  author:exocara  (content:failure.to.communicate)  (content:oblivious.failboats)  (content:kid.fic)  (content:marriage)  [rating:no.pants]  (words:2501-5k) 
10 days ago by midnightbex
Fic: No Time Like The Present [lewis/hathaway, lewis]
It happens in the fruit and veg aisle at Waitrose in the middle of a Saturday morning, because life has a way of knocking you for six in the most absurd way possible.
lewis  pairing:james.hathaway/robert.lewis  author:lamardeuse  (content:oblivious.failboats)  (content:mistaken.for.married)  (content:get.together)  [rating:pants]  (words:2501-5k) 
12 weeks ago by midnightbex
Fic: I Won't Say It, No, No [peter/johnny, marvel 616]
Okay, so sometimes you’re having a bad day, right, so what you have to do is answer a pal’s call, and when they say, “Hey, want to go on an adventure?” you say, “Please take me as far away from here as possible,” and sometimes even when you’re having the Worst Day Ever what you have to do is to definitely not do that.
marvel.616  spider-man  fantastic.four  pairing:peter.parker/johnny.storm  author:marlowemayhaps  (content:accidental.marriage)  (content:make.them.do.it)  (content:pining)  (content:oblivious.failboats)  [rating:no.pants]  (words:5001-10k) 
12 weeks ago by midnightbex
Fic: A Winter's Tale [lewis/hathaway, lewis]
“Anything to suggest it’s murder?” Robbie demanded unrepentantly. Alright he was in a bit of a temper these days but it was hardly his sodding fault. The universe had decided to throw an attractive, leggy blonde into his path, make it a bloke and make it his sergeant. So the universe could bloody well deal with his bad mood.
lewis  pairing:james.hathaway/robert.lewis  author:theosoxonian  (content:pining)  (content:slow.build)  (content:oblivious.failboats)  (content:get.together)  [rating:no.pants]  (words:15001-25k) 
february 2019 by midnightbex
Fic: Wanted [mckay/sheppard, sga]
And under ‘Business Services’, something John’s never seen before among all the requests for food, porn, geek paraphernalia, and liquor:

WANTED: Sperm donor. Must be intelligent and reasonably attractive. Terms of delivery are negotiable. Interested parties may inquire by leaving notices on this service.

John’s leg slips and kicks over his full coffee mug on the table. “Holy crap,” he blurts, and slams the laptop shut only to find that Rodney has just walked into the room and is frowning at John in a slightly confused way.

“Did you just have an accident?” he asks, seeming disconcerted.
sga  pairing:rodney.mckay/john.sheppard  author:toomuchplor  (content:oblivious.failboats)  (content:humor)  [rating:no.pants]  (words:5001-10k)  via:midnightbex 
november 2018 by yarngeek
Fic: Wanted [mckay/sheppard, sga]
And under ‘Business Services’, something John’s never seen before among all the requests for food, porn, geek paraphernalia, and liquor:

WANTED: Sperm donor. Must be intelligent and reasonably attractive. Terms of delivery are negotiable. Interested parties may inquire by leaving notices on this service.

John’s leg slips and kicks over his full coffee mug on the table. “Holy crap,” he blurts, and slams the laptop shut only to find that Rodney has just walked into the room and is frowning at John in a slightly confused way.

“Did you just have an accident?” he asks, seeming disconcerted.
sga  pairing:rodney.mckay/john.sheppard  author:toomuchplor  (content:oblivious.failboats)  (content:humor)  [rating:no.pants]  (words:5001-10k) 
november 2018 by midnightbex
Fic: Weddings, Plural, and a Yak [mckay/sheppard, sga]
By the eighth time John Sheppard married Rodney McKay, they were old pros at the wedding thing, having weathered not only an Ouishan blood wedding, but also a twelve-hour Avalonian handfasting, a Malanese necklace exchange, and a Thurtu joining ceremony that invoked a fire god and featured seven kinds of cake.
stargate  sga  pairing:rodney.mckay/john.sheppard  author:speranza  (content:pining)  (content:oblivious.failboats)  (content:marriage)  (content:adoption)  (content:kid.fic)  [rating:no.pants]  (words:15001-25k) 
november 2018 by midnightbex
Fic: Everyone Around Here Gets a Little Strange [derek/stiles, teen wolf au]
Stiles isn’t trying to take away from Rapp’s pain here, but before he beamed down from the Daedalus, Derek was down to only yelling at Stiles sixty percent of the time, and twenty percent of their remaining lab shifts were spent giving Stiles looks that he’s almost certain were fond. He gets him coffee on their morning shifts together. Sometimes he waits for him for lunch. Any smiles Derek is throwing around should be for Stiles, not a dude who’s probably carrying at least ten hidden knives on his person.
teenwolf  pairing:derek.hale/stiles.stilinski  author:skoosiepants  (au)  (au:sga)  (content:doppleganger)  (content:oblivious.failboats)  [rating:pants]  (words:2501-5k) 
october 2018 by midnightbex
Fic: dynamic [derek/stiles, teen wolf]
"—believe it because I've never even thought about it, I was just scrolling through this chick’s blog because I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep and I was like, here I go painstakingly seeking out Derek Hale's horoscope again—mm—hmmgh nn dm—" Derek's dropped the paper to the floor and taken Stiles’ head in his hands and kissed him, but Stiles is still talking. It takes Derek crowding him against a wall and deepening that kiss until Stiles is effectively gagged for him to finally tucker out. He clings to Derek, needing something to tether him to earth. When Derek pulls back to let him breathe, Stiles has calmed considerably: no less upset, no less shaken, just no longer panicking. And Derek is staring at him, starstruck—lovestruck— "I freaked," Stiles confesses, quiet. "It’s been months. I thought you’d friendzone me."
teenwolf  pairing:derek.hale/stiles.stilinski  author:betp  (content:love.confessions)  (content:oblivious.failboats)  (content:get.together)  [rating:no.pants]  (words:1001-2500) 
september 2018 by midnightbex
Fic: I’ve Kissed You Before, but I Didn’t Do It Right (Can I Try Again) [ryan/shane, buzzfeed unsolved]
Ryan grabs for Shane’s banana and takes a bite out of it. In his head it was supposed to be sexy, but he realizes as he’s chewing that it might hit a little close to home. Shane must be remembering the same thing, because he blanches and looks away.

“Sorry, too soon?”

“I’m having a Pavlovian response to the flash of your teeth around a phallic object,” Shane says, “and now my balls are trying to crawl back inside my body. Something tells me that’s not what you were going for.”

“No,” Ryan agrees, still chewing.

***

After months of mooning around each other, forces (read: alcohol, nerves, gravity, tender feelings) conspire to ruin Ryan and Shane’s first night together. With a little help from their friends, dramatic training montages set to 80’s rock anthems, and the early filmography of Harrison Ford, can our heroes get things back on track?
buzzfeed.unsolved  pairing:ryan.bergara/shane.madej  author:beethechange  (genre:rpf)  (content:awkward.sex)  (content:first.time)  (content:get.together)  (content:pining)  (content:misunderstandings)  (content:oblivious.failboats)  [rating:no.pants]  (words:15001-25k) 
september 2018 by midnightbex
Fic: Por Favor, Sweetheart [ryan/shane, buzzfeed unsolved]
“I’ll take her,” He finally whispers.

“What?” His father is clearly bemused. Ryan would be offended, in any other situation.

“Uncle Alex can’t look after a baby,” Ryan repeats, resolve growing. “I’ll take her.”

“I – are you sure?”

“Yeah. No. Fuck.” Ryan runs a hand through his hair again. “I have to. I have to.”
buzzfeed.unsolved  pairing:ryan.bergara/shane.madej  author:carrieonfighting  (content:kid.fic)  (content:domestic)  (content:oblivious.failboats)  [rating:pants]  (words:5001-10k) 
august 2018 by midnightbex
Fic: Sweet Buns [derek/stiles, teen wolf au]
Stiles hasn’t seen Derek Hale this close up for over a decade. He looks almost exactly the same, except somehow he seems even bigger and broodier—criminally handsome, with soft-looking dark scruff, heavy brows, light hazel eyes. His gaze zeros in on Stiles almost immediately, and his scowl lightens minutely in what looks like surprise.

Stiles is acutely aware that he has melted butter and cinnamon all over his face, and tries to surreptitiously wipe it with the ends of his sweater-sleeve.
teenwolf  pairing:derek.hale/stiles.stilinski  author:skoosiepants  (au)  (au:bakery)  (au:canon.divergence)  (content:misunderstandings)  (content:oblivious.failboats)  (content:courtship)  [rating:pants]  (words:15001-25k)  (content:alpha/beta/omega.dynamics) 
august 2018 by midnightbex
Fic: I’m Gonna Keep You in Love with Me (for a While) [ryan/shane, buzzfeed unsolved]
Shane is pacing around the hotel room. It’s not a huge room and Shane’s legs are long enough that he doesn’t have much real estate to pace before he has to swing back around for another loop.

“Can you stop?” Ryan asks. “You’re making me dizzy.”

“Okay,” Shane says finally. “Okay. Here’s what we’re going to do. We’re just going to—we’re going to be married. The only way out is through.”

“Um,” Ryan says, because this plan strikes him as counterproductive to their shared goal of not being married.
buzzfeed.unsolved  pairing:ryan.bergara/shane.madej  author:beethechange  (genre:rpf)  (content:woke.up.married)  (content:first.time)  (content:oblivious.failboats)  [rating:no.pants]  (words:15001-25k) 
july 2018 by midnightbex
Fic: hoʻokāne [steve/danny, hawaii five-0 au]
As active as Danny's imagination was, however, as strong as all his fears could be at the thoughts of his little girl being taken away from him again, he'd forgotten to factor in one very important element: Steve.
h50  pairing:steve.mcgarrett/danny.williams  author:siria  (au)  (au:canon.divergence)  (content:marriage.of.convenience)  (content:oblivious.failboats)  (content:first.time)  [rating:no.pants]  (words:10001-15k)  via:midnightbex 
july 2018 by yarngeek
Fic: hoʻokāne [steve/danny, hawaii five-0 au]
As active as Danny's imagination was, however, as strong as all his fears could be at the thoughts of his little girl being taken away from him again, he'd forgotten to factor in one very important element: Steve.
h50  pairing:steve.mcgarrett/danny.williams  author:siria  (au)  (au:canon.divergence)  (content:marriage.of.convenience)  (content:oblivious.failboats)  (content:first.time)  [rating:no.pants]  (words:10001-15k) 
july 2018 by midnightbex

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